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State of the Union 2015: Address to an Ungrateful Nation
Sterica
YesRegistered User, Moderator mod
YesRegistered User, Moderator mod
Whoa dogs, it's another State of the Union! Wait, you don't know what that is? Well, it's when the President of the United States of America gets pretty much all of our legislature and judicial branches and talks at them for 60-90 minutes. This is supposed to be a status update on how the country is doing, but the answer is always "DANDY!" because a president admitting the country is doing poorly would be tantamount to demanding your approval rating drop 15 points. It's really really goofy, but the speech is important in that it lays out the president's agenda for the year and also gives us some kind of plan to judge him by. Oh, and the opposition party will also give a smaller speech afterwards rebutting some of the president's points and offering their own plan. Buuuuut, the opposition speech will be given by the Republicans, so it's mostly a way to get a quick laugh. Can they possibly top 2014's "inequality Godzilla?" Tune in to find out!
Wait, those people are in charge of both houses of Congress. Wow, we're really fucked.
Oh, and because this is a special thread, here are some equally special rules.
- This thread is temporary. It will be locked at an undisclosed time after the address is over. Do not take it upon yourself to make a new thread: this is a one-time deal.
- People exist out there with opinions different from yours. This is unfortunate, but such is life. It is difficult to have a manageable discussion if people are yelling back and forth at each other, so please keep a calm head when engaging with people. Spirited debate is fine, but posts full of catty insults and huge posts that dissect another's person post with 50 quote tags makes for a thread that is almost impossible to read for all but a handful of people.
- Do not engage with assholes. If someone is spouting off shitty rhetoric (racism, sexism, transphobia, etc.), then report them. Replying to their nonsense just derails the thread and, honestly, they're most likely shitty trolls with no interest in discourse. Don't waste your time on them.
Tonight's Players
Barack "Thanks" Obama
State of the Union
The man of the night. Obama is now starting to really enter those lame duck years where he's going to basically say "fuck it" and push the envelope a bit more since he doesn't have an election to worry about. Which will be useful since he now has to face a Republican House and Senate looking to drop a bunch of bullshit laws on his desk. Chances are he'll pay some lip service about working together with the new Congress and some standard fluff about bipartisanship. At the same time, he could flip them all a finger and state in no uncertain terms that he'll veto anything threatening some of his pet issues like the Affordable Care Act. Well, at least in my exciting new fanfiction he does.
Expected Topics: Tax increases for the rich is already being talked about, and Obama is also pushing for a way to give Americans with passing grades a free ride for community college. He'll probably also make a statement about the Charlie Hebdo shooting, if only because people are upset that he didn't fly to Paris to stand in a cleared-out street for a phony photo shoot with other world leaders.
Joni Ernst
Republican Response
These days everyone wants to take a shot at that uppity black man snooty president, but the Real Deal Republican Response will be given by Ernst. This is yet another feeble attempt by the Republicans to pretend they care about women, but it might not be a idea seeing as how last year's response-giver Rodgers didn't crash and burn like so many before her. It remains to be seen as to whether or not she'll be surrounded by members of the military and a token minority to further cement that phony "we care" message. You should expect the usual fare, as Ernst is a pretty standard Republican, hating fun things like marijuana, gay sex, abortion, and not dying of gunshot wounds.
Expected Topics: Taxes are bad, terrorism is bad, government is bad.
Curt "Air Ball" Clawson
Tea Party "Response"
If today is a media circus, then Clawson will be speaking on behalf of the clowns. He's a tea party guy, so you can expect nothing but a stream of far-right fringe ideas. Shit, the only thing I know about this guy is that he mistook American officials for Indian ones, and start talking about US/India relations with them. It's going to be a real knee slapper until you realize these people have obtain positions of political power. Keep the liquor cabinet stocked.
Expected Topics: A possible Mecha Inequality Godzilla
Kshama "Solidarity" Sawant
Socialist Alternative Response
Hey, Obama isn't the only person from last year we'll be seeing tonight! Hers being perhaps the only response that's really worth a damn, Sawant did a response last year that people really, really liked. Last time it wasn't broadcasted live, so I'll try to post it ASAP. She is not a fan of Obama, so if you want to hear criticism of him that isn't a bunch of tilting at windmills, then this is the response for you. She will probably cover more important topics in her >10 minute speech than any one other response happening tonight. Highly recommended.
Expected Topics: Scary things like a high minimum wage, taxes on our precious job creators, that hoax global warming, and why atheism should be law.
Rand "Eat the Poor" Paul
His Own Ego
Paul is doing his own response on his YouTube channel tonight. Consider it a back-up comedy option in case the Tea Party fails to deliver.
Expected Topics: Bullshit
WHERE TO WATCH?
https://www.youtube.com
http://www.whitehouse.gov/sotu
Literally Every News Site on the Internet
+2
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
Not his own rebuttal. Hers. Translated.
So a Hispanic Republican congressman who supports a path to citizenship will have to read a direct Spanish translation of the exact speech that Joni Ernst gives, which will likely have a passage opposing a path to citizenship.
Good job GOP.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm looking forward to seeing her response this time, and hopefully there is some more substance without the throw-away "both parties are the same" warm-up.
Where's the hail hydra button when you need it?
edit - also loving that smug-as-hell Obama portrait in the OP.
i hate fucking rebuttal speeches and they need to stop
when has there EVER been a good one, or even a non-disaster one
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
Thanks Obama!
Yeah, pretty much. None of this stuff is even going to make it to a vote.
Democracy is truly dead
Especially things that are directly contradictory.
Boehner has chosen sais as his weapon.
Personally I thought this was way out of line.
Sais are a low weapon, a senator should only duel with the finest pistolas.
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
Applause
"I know, because I won both of them."
2015 Obama dgaf.
Smite: Plutoniumwombat