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Steam Battle 2015

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Posts

  • KarozKaroz Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    Steam Battle 2015 Index
    Battle Overview:

    The Classy Crews and their Adventures:
    [Warning: Here be Spoilers]

    ISS Rougelike
    Manifest
    Missions:
    Kiss Her Plenty
    Manifest
    Missions:
    U Wot M8
    Manifest
    Missions
    Wishlist Upon A Star
    Manifest
    Missions
    USS Birds are Fucking Terrifying
    Manifest
    Missions
    Choice picks from the gallery:

    The Rounds Breakdown Spreadsheet
    [Warning: Here be Spoilers]
    (Be sure to use the tabs in the lower left to switch between ships)

    Notes:
    -Yes the odd Capitalizations are on purpose.
    -It's a glorified bookmarks page in order to easily find each individual round and then you can scrolls through them and hopefully find reactions you enjoyed. I tried to keep things less specific to minimize spoilers but it does make tracking down individual posts and reactions harder. A better choice picks gallery will help with that.
    -The choice picks gallery is woefully lacking, I started late and was getting burned out doing the basics. Plus I am obviously biased. I'm thinking of starting a Google Doc that anyone can add their favorite moments to.
    -The individual mission names are not permanent and I welcome suggestions since some of them are pretty terrible. Making up good names for missions is hard. Plus those more directly involved may have a better take on each one.
    -The spreadsheet doesn't include incidents of Addiction and Wanted triggering, I may go back and add those in later.

    I still need to double check the spreadsheet but I think everything is in order.
    Feel free to @ or PM me if you find any errors or have name suggestions for missions.

    Karoz on
  • Pixelated PixiePixelated Pixie They/Them Registered User regular
    @HiT BiT awesomed that post faster than Geth?

    Holy shit.

    ~~ Pixie on Steam ~~
    ironzerg wrote: »
    Chipmunks are like nature's nipple clamps, I guess?
  • Kid PresentableKid Presentable Registered User regular
    What a fun game, glory and honor to the Wishlist and its crew! I'm sorry that my kooky character disliked some of you!

    I just let out an incredulous "whaaaaAAATTTT?!" after redeeming the Steam Wallet code that @akajaybay sent out. Surely there has been some accounting error? Your generosity and creativity blow me away and it feels crazy that somehow we're not the ones showering you with gifts as thanks for running this thing.

  • xiearsxiears It isn't sexual Strictly confectionalRegistered User regular
    What a fun game, glory and honor to the Wishlist and its crew! I'm sorry that my kooky character disliked some of you!

    I just let out an incredulous "whaaaaAAATTTT?!" after redeeming the Steam Wallet code that @akajaybay sent out. Surely there has been some accounting error? Your generosity and creativity blow me away and it feels crazy that somehow we're not the ones showering you with gifts as thanks for running this thing.

    Agreed. Thanks @akajaybay for running this, and for the very generous wallet code gift!

    steam_sig.png
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    As a member of Polarite's crew, I too received an incredibly generous gift of a Steam Wallet code from @akajaybay.

    It's incredible how generous he is on top of putting all that time and effort into running the Steam Battle in the first place.

  • bloodatonementbloodatonement Registered User regular
    To the brave and honorable crew of the Wishlist Upon a Star, it was my privilege to serve with you.

    Did we ever decide what the WUaS looks like?

    Zdy0pmg.jpg
    Steam ID: Good Life
  • KarozKaroz Registered User regular
    I think the closest we got was when someone posted a sort of Borg cube. Since our shtick seems to be as a trade consortium we could be perfectly predictable and go with a Ferengi ship. They have a certain charm to them, but I'd leave the final decision up to Polaritie.

  • jclastjclast Registered User regular
    What about the Nemoidians from The Phantom Menace?

    camo_sig2.png
  • KarozKaroz Registered User regular
    The ISS Rougelike (a.k.a. The Donut Hole) looks strangely like a Nemoidian control ship already. :wink:

    Otherwise I'd think it is a pretty good choice.

  • Pixelated PixiePixelated Pixie They/Them Registered User regular
    Wait

    Stop

    Hang on

    I just realized something


    If we had 57 Steam at the end of our round 12 turn...

    And the Wishlist had 56 when they started their round 12 turn...


    Then for the 23 hours and 18 minutes between this post and this post... The Rougelike was in first place!


    WOOOOOOOOO!

    3gkdoxpowcjx.gif

    ~~ Pixie on Steam ~~
    ironzerg wrote: »
    Chipmunks are like nature's nipple clamps, I guess?
  • TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    Wait

    Stop

    Hang on

    I just realized something


    If we had 57 Steam at the end of our round 12 turn...

    And the Wishlist had 56 when they started their round 12 turn...


    Then for the 23 hours and 18 minutes between this post and this post... The Rougelike was in first place!


    WOOOOOOOOO!

    3gkdoxpowcjx.gif

    It was a good thing you didn't stay there too long - staying in first is hazardous to your health, as it turns out

    steam_sig.png
  • SorceSorce Not ThereRegistered User regular
    Kind of ironic that a game with such a high body count ended on Memorial Day Weekend.

    sig.gif
  • akajaybayakajaybay Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    F3tM1X3.jpg

    The massive home of the emoticons loomed in front of the Wishlist Upon a Star. A pair of other ships jumped in simultaneously. The Rougelike and the Kissing Her Plenty. All three ships approached and docked under auto pilot. They'd been locked out of the controls, Polaritie included. As the airlock finished it's cycle and the doorway onto the station swung open, the only remaining crew of the Wishlist exited. Halfazedninja, DarkPrimus, and Kalnaur. Polaritie hesitated at the threshold, uncertain if his projection would continue outside the ship. But it was fine, he passed through onto the station and felt normal, stronger even. The empty room that greeted them seemed strange. The crews of the Rougelike and Kissing Her Plenty had also arrived, but without their captains. As their ships went into autopilot, their captain's projections had gone silent as well. Suddenly Source popped into the room, dropping from a short height onto a pair of spindly black legs. "Congratulations! You've done it. Welcome. Welcome. Do you know you are the first people to ever make it to the end of Steam Battle alive? It's incredible. I mean we keep that bit of info a bit on the down low, it tended to be discouraging to contestants we found. But, YOU!" He pointed at Polaritie. "You actually did it. Now the other captains have been deactivated, your ships are being returned to the flux metal storage." Looking behind them, the ships they'd spent so much time on wavered and morphed back into a silver sphere before being absorbed into the station itself. "Now don't worry Captain Polaritie, your noggin will join ours in a safe place. Soon you'll be able to personalize your avatar and have free reign travel wise after a few upgrades. Steam makes a lot of things possible." The crews of Rougelike and Kissing Her Plenty were demanding to know what happened to their Captains while Source continued speaking over them. Irritated, Source finally waved his arm in their direction and a transparent bubble formed around them, no sound escaping from inside it. "We'll get rid of them shortly. I'm not sure why no one was stationed here for your arrival." Polaritie tried to remain cool and calm as he said "Actually, if you don't mind I could take them off your hands. We're a bit short handed now ourselves." Source seemed confused for a moment, then understood. "Oh I guess. You won't really need anyone, your own crew included. No offense. We've had few folks here who kept normal people around as pets, but it kind of fell out of fashion. But it's your big day, so I won't rain on your parade. They can wait here though while I show you around." Source let the bubble around the others drop.

    As Polaritie and Source walked through the station, other emoticons they passed seemed...vacant and listless. "So as the winner of Steam Battle you're welcome here of course as one of us now. And a generous portion of Steam to start you out with, so you can have your own projects and diversions. It'll take some time to let go of your time as an organic being, but we've got a lot of it." An emoticon was bumping into a pillar over and over again ahead of them. "What's wrong with him?" Polaritie asked. "Source furrowed his brow..."I don't know...Nothing I'm sure. We've all gotten...a bit eccentric you might say." Source peered quizzically at the other emoticon, and then hurried to continue the tour. Finally this is the central Steam battery. With this and the eggs, we're able to manipulate...well anything really. Time, reality. It's been our playground...well...forever. The Steam you collected is a signifigant amount. Sixty points. That's impressive. When you need to draw on the battery for something, just check in with....Where is Root?. Well let Root know and he'll help you. You can as promised use the Steam to travel back to your home universe. And you'll always be able to return here as well.Root announced his arrival with an unintelliblle groan. He popped in and floated down to man his station at the main Steam battery controls. "What's the matter with you?" Source asked. Root seemed about as out of it as the others they'd seen. "Root? Are you ok?" The blue emoticon looked up at them and it's image distorted and waved, His mouth began a strange contorted smile of black negative space for a moment, and then the distortion disappeared. "Is he sick?" Polaritie asked. "We don't get sick." Source answered tersely. "Excuse me, I need to check on something." Source disappeared leaving Polaritie behind. Three minutes later Source popped back as Polaritie hurried turned around from the Steam battery intake controls. Source looked at him suspiciously, and then said "Some kind of contaminant in the Steam supply, something carried in from one team pods. Has everyone loopy. Computers are working on purging it now. Shouldn't be a problem. Let's just finish the tour."

    A low rolling rumble sounded from somewhere deep in the station. The floor and walls vibrated as the rumble grew louder. Polaritie looked the golden triangle in the eyes. "Why would I ever want to join you? You took us from our homes, killed my friends, and made our lives a living hell." Polaritie let his anger at the emoticons show through finally. "Well that part's, over. Now you can do what you'd like" Source said. "I am" The rumbling continued to intensify. "What did you do?" Source asked. "Made a deposit to your Steam battery. A small crystal we came across on our first outing actually. Normally it does nothing, it's just a little piece of crystal, but once it had a bit of Steam in it, it began to produce an abundance of oxygen over time. We pulled five points of Steam out of the thing. How much is in there?" The station rumbled again. Source grew a darker shade of yellow, Root gurgled a bit of gibberish.
    As Source was about to say something, a communicator beep on Polarities uniform went off. "Captain we've regenerated the ship, the other crews agreed to help. We've had no sign of resistance, everything's been...surprisingly easy. No emoticons have shown up at all. But...Captain. How do we get you back on board?" "Just go Primus, you don't have long. Jump. The regular engines probably wouldn't get you far enough anyway." Source let the silence hang for a moment before speaking. Do you have any idea what will happen if that much Steam, the power amassed in this station, the universe eggs we've built, the flux metal. Do you have any idea what will happened if that all just
    explodes in a big bang?"
    "No...do you?" Polaritie responded.
    "No" Source said and smiled wide.

    The newly reformed Wishlist Upon a Star was moving away from the emoticon station as fast as it could while the jump drive powered up. Dark Primus, Kalnaur, Halfazedninja, Ghlinn, Emberquick, LoveisUnity, Corsini, Berylline, and Linday Lohan stood on the bridge watching the station grew smaller. As the station exploded in a blinding bright white light, the fabric of reality seemed to come undone. The Wishlist jump drive enagaged, but instead of blinking away as usual, it simply seemed to keep them moving away from the pinpoint of white light as everything else in existence funneled into it. The white on the screen grew larger and larger until it enveloped the speeding
    ship as well. And then, the Wishlist popped back out the other side. The light of the stars on the view screen had a strange tinge to them, the station was no where in sight. They were somewhere else now, somewhere new. The Steam containment unit pinged, it had hit maximum capacity. The sensors showed everything in range was permeated with the substance. There was no further sign of the emoticons, or of Captain Polaritie, nor was there at any point after that.
    "So what now?" Kalnaur asked.

    The End.

    akajaybay on
  • akajaybayakajaybay Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    F3tM1X3.jpg
    Epilogue

    A optional take on things....
    Source danced around his room to the song Feel Alright. It had finally happened, someone completed the Steam Battle, and they were on their way back to base now. How many had their been? He'd lost count. Usually they just collected what little Steam the teams managed to collect before dying, and then use the usual method. Collapse the universe to a single point, wring out what little they could, destroy everything, start again. Over and over. When Source had to fight to keep Steam Battle going. The argument's against it were strong. It introduced risk into an otherwise infallible system. They had other means of entertaining themselves. That was the whole reason they hoarded the mysterious element in the first place. But Source knew they had no idea what to do with it. Steam may have been the spark on inspiration that generated games, but what had they managed to do with it? Just got better and better at gathering the stuff, the more efficient the better. With no spark of chaos, nothing would ever happen or change. Immortality had made that a horrifying concept. So Source argued, they could gather just as much Steam by getting someone to manually gather it. More possibly. And at the same time, it would prove an amusing diversion. Watching the lower forms struggle and die in their own service. It's not like they could harm them. And so they ran the battles. Over and over again. Nothing really changed...at times Source worried it never would. But it opened the door to the possibility. This time. This time he knew was the one.

    Source, picked up the makeshift Steam collector the scientist on the BAFT had created. It was exceptional work. It wasn't the first time someone had managed it. But still, impressive. He'd kept the earlier incidents a secret from the others. A smidge of Steam here and there went unnoticed. He tampered with it over time, seeking an answer, some kind of change. But it had been no use, the stolen Steam went sour. Tainted. But it had it's own role to play. The doll had been created and the seed planted, and it worked. Even now his associates were feeling the effects. It would have spread through the main holding tanks. Anyone drawing their power from the main battery would be contaminated by now.

    As the song died down, Source sighed and felt a moment of wavering doubt.
    An alert pinged, the Wishlist had docked with the station. Certainty returned. It was time for something new to happen. Something else.

    akajaybay on
  • akajaybayakajaybay Registered User regular
    I think that about does it. Had a hard time getting the last bits wrapped up.
    It's like keeping people around the see the ending of the plot to a porno after all the sex is over with.

    Thanks again for showing up and having fun with it.

  • HalfazedninjaHalfazedninja Author of Jake Howard: Multiverse 101! Behind YouRegistered User regular
    21513_applause-clapping-the-addams-family-bravo.gif

    My debut novel, JAKE HOWARD: MULTIVERSE 101!
    Switch FC: SW-7588-7027-0113, Steam/PSN: Halfazedninja

  • bloodatonementbloodatonement Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    Glad I took that crystal as a trophy from the ghost ship. Really glad @Polaritie was smart enough to replace it with a decoy so my little outburst didn't leave it lost in deep space. Glad I got to have a a small part in blowing the moodies to singularity

    bloodatonement on
    Zdy0pmg.jpg
    Steam ID: Good Life
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    akajaybay wrote: »
    "So what now?" Kalnaur asked.

    "We find an open bar."

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    An excellent ending to this story. Thank you very much for running this event @akajaybay. After seeing the final post, especially the pre-epilogue, I couldn't help but write a little piece myself.
    Madican's Epilogue

    So that was the truth of things after all.

    Madican floated in the amassed pool of Steam. He was not physically or spiritually present, rather this was more a program that had been infused into that droplet of Steam before he'd died. He already knew that program would run to its completion and then he would vanish for good, his function fulfilled. Here as part of the Steam however, returned to where he had been born, he gained the knowledge of his own brief existence.

    Source created me. Honestly, not too surprised about that; I had somewhat guessed it before my death anyway. That purpose built into me, the attunement with Steam, even my own appearance is closer to the Emoticons than human.

    Madican thought about the purpose he'd been made for, not just the immediate one but Source's ultimate goal. The Emoticons as a whole had fallen into a rut, a stable cycle with no change and perfect order. A very, very boring cycle. They could manipulate the Steam as they saw fit, but only used it to perpetuate their own existence and get more Steam. Ironic that a resource of ultimate creation and possibility would be so intrinsically linked to the Emoticons' personal existence and well-being. Madican didn't know if they truly needed the Steam to survive, but they had all become dependent on it just the same. Something Source had figured out.

    Source desired change and chaos, a break from the routine cycle the Emoticons perpetuated. He could not do it himself though, not with the other Emoticons capable of stalemating him. He had looked at the participants of the Steam Battles but none of them had shown the capability to change anything while in the cycle. In order to break open this boring order and bring about change, a great chaos, then he not only needed someone from the outside but also someone capable of bringing down the Emoticons to a level the proxy or proxies could deal with. He would get nowhere hoping for such a thing to rise about organically, so the only option left was to take the two goals and separate them. He would let the ones to challenge the Emoticons rise up on their own and in the meantime he conducted experiments with the Steam, the key link between the Emoticons. And from these experiments Madican had been born. A living doll of stolen, corrupted Steam that he'd thrown into the newest universe with a single order hardcoded into it: Destroy the Emoticons and break the cycle. Instructions that would not manifest unless Steam was present, signifying a new universe and the beginning of the Steam Battles once again. He did not need to be on the winning ship, he just needed to last long enough for that seed within him to sprout.

    Madican felt woozy and his vision blurred. The program is almost done, he thought to himself, feeling more and more of the Steam as part of him. This had always been his final destination. Being made of stolen Steam, Madican was poison to the real deal. The program he had instilled into that single drop had transformed and corrupted it into something that would register as Steam but have the capability of converting any Steam it came into contact with to the corrupted variant. Any Emoticon that drew on this tainted Steam would feel the effects, and here in the heart of the entire supply the poison had spread quickly. Even now the only one of them left capable of rational thought was Source himself. The Emoticons had been rendered vulnerable, now it was up to the proxies to finally bring true change.

    The program completed and Madican's vision went dark as the last vestige of his existence was subsumed into the pool. There were no afterlives or souls for a mere doll. Brought from nothing and he would return to the same. As his consciousness faded, he had one final thought.

    O Captain, my Captain...
    Somewhere aboard the Wishlist, as it sped away from the Emoticons' station, a silver portal opened and closed, dropping a small blue book wrapped in chains with no apparent lock.

  • TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    I promised myself that when this day came I wouldn't cry *dabs tissue to eye*

    steam_sig.png
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2015
    Me, getting the last word, last phrase before we "fade to black"? Yeah, I can deal with that. :biggrin: :+1:

    It means a better chance of being in the sequel.
    Whatayamean there's no sequel?

    Kalnaur on
    I make art things! deviantART: Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    Me, getting the last word, last phrase before we "fade to black"? Yeah, I can deal with that. :biggrin: :+1:

    It means a better chance of being in the sequel.
    Whatayamean there's no sequel?

    Steam Battle 2015 2: The Search For More Money.

    Madican on
  • destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    Me, getting the last word, last phrase before we "fade to black"? Yeah, I can deal with that. :biggrin: :+1:

    It means a better chance of being in the sequel.
    Whatayamean there's no sequel?

    Steam Battle 2015 2: The Search For More Money.

    But only if Rick Moranis will be in it.

    steam_sig.png
  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    My avatar seems appropriate somehow.

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
  • akajaybayakajaybay Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    Me, getting the last word, last phrase before we "fade to black"? Yeah, I can deal with that. :biggrin: :+1:

    It means a better chance of being in the sequel.
    Whatayamean there's no sequel?

    Steam Battle 2015 2: The Search For More Money.

    Probably an apt subtitle.

  • akajaybayakajaybay Registered User regular
    I do have a few random odds and ends leftover to get rid of still. They either just didn't work out timing wise, people had em, or a few I pulled for seeming a bit dubious as prizes.
    So here's a chunk of Steam Gifts Giveaways for the games I still need to clear out that's open to any members of the Steam Battle 2015 group.
    They end on Friday.
    signature.png
    signature.png
    signature.png
    signature.png
    signature.png
    signature.png

    Still have to figure out key/bundle wise what I have and haven't used. But this will at least clean out Steam Inventory.

  • akajaybayakajaybay Registered User regular
    Oh yeah these too.
    signature.png
    signature.png
    signature.png
    signature.png

  • akajaybayakajaybay Registered User regular
    edited May 2015
    Ok almost a complete success. Just need to get rid of Sonic Generations still.
    Gifts have all been sent out, don't forget to confirm you got em.
    Ok looks like I didn't have that one, so that problem's solved.

    I probably missed some loose iffy bundle keys somewhere, but I think I'm done. Yay!

    akajaybay on
  • Pixelated PixiePixelated Pixie They/Them Registered User regular
    I now have a mental image of @akajaybay shaking out a seemingly empty sack, frowning, peeking in, then shaking it some more before nodding in satisfaction and wandering off...

    ... up the chimney to the reindeer sleigh.

    ~~ Pixie on Steam ~~
    ironzerg wrote: »
    Chipmunks are like nature's nipple clamps, I guess?
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    I now have a mental image of @akajaybay shaking out a seemingly empty sack, frowning, peeking in, then shaking it some more before nodding in satisfaction and wandering off...

    ... up the chimney to the reindeer sleigh.

    Yet I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight: Merry Steam-mas to all, and to all a good night!

    I make art things! deviantART: Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
  • HiT BiTHiT BiT 🍒 Fresh, straight from Pac-man's Registered User regular
    I now have a mental image of @akajaybay shaking out a seemingly empty sack, frowning, peeking in, then shaking it some more before nodding in satisfaction and wandering off...
    ... up the chimney to the reindeer sleigh.
    j3gekRZ.jpg

  • MuddBuddMuddBudd Registered User regular
    I've been away from my computer but congrats again guys, and thank you akajaybay for running all of this madness. It was highly entertaining.

    There's no plan, there's no race to be run
    The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
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