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Princess Olga [Chat]

ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
edited February 2015 in Debate and/or Discourse
In the 10th century Prince Igor of Kiev was killed by the Drevlians during their uprising. This was an error. Igor's wife Princess Olga was left as regent for her son. The Drevlians demanded she marry their prince so the Kievan Rus would be under their rule. They sent 20 men to her press the issue. They were put in a boat and carried by her servants to the center courtyard of the castle. Where the boat and men were dumped in a hole then buried alive. She then sent word that she accepted the proposal but she would need the Drevlians to send their best and brightest to accompany her so that her people would be suitably impressed. Seeing it as a great honor, she got exactly that.

Upon reaching her home, she asked the men if they were weary from their journey and offered them use of the bathhouse. After all of the men entered, she had her servants bar the doors and windows then had it burned down. Word reached the Drevlians of a funeral feast that was being prepared for her former husband, and that all of the Drevlians were invited. They got there and were plied with food and drink. Then killed. At this point the remaining Drevlians realized that they were on her shit list as she prepared an army. They begged for peace, offering tribute. She demanded three pigeons and three sparrows from each house. The Drevlians thought they were getting off lucky.

She had bundles of pitch and tar tied to the feet of each of the birds and the bundles were lit with the birds released. Where they promptly returned home and lit the houses of the Drevlians on fire. As they fled their city, her army was waiting. Some Drevlians were killed. Some made into slaves. The rest paid tribute.

The historical accuracy of this is somewhat debatable. We know Olga existed, she was the first Christian ruler of the Rus. She shows up in some of the records of the Byzantine Empire. We know the Drevlian rebellion happened. We know it was put down by Olga. Beyond that...who knows.

Thomamelas on
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Posts

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    If only 10th Century Kiev had Twitter they might have cottoned on quicker.

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Squirrels don't hibernate

    That novelty tinder profile on the last that was factually inaccurate. Which means I'm struggling to maintain my erection.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Which makes me realise: Any future contemporary adaptation of Romeo and Juliet are gonna have to contrive the non-functioning of cellphones to maintain the tragedy, even as coverage gets better and better. That makes me sad.

  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Squirrels don't hibernate

    That novelty tinder profile on the last that was factually inaccurate. Which means I'm struggling to maintain my erection.

    Well, ground squirrels do.

  • CindersCinders Whose sails were black when it was windy Registered User regular
    Casual wants mcdonalds

  • CindersCinders Whose sails were black when it was windy Registered User regular
    Such disappoint

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Sitting in a boat in a castle #LandShip #LOL #WheresThisDirtComingFrom

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Squirrels don't hibernate

    That novelty tinder profile on the last that was factually inaccurate. Which means I'm struggling to maintain my erection.

    Well, ground squirrels do.

    I don't think I was previously aware of ground squirrels.

    Very good.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Olga_of_Kiev.gif

    Man, you don't want to cross this lady.

  • ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
    edited February 2015
    Which makes me realise: Any future contemporary adaptation of Romeo and Juliet are gonna have to contrive the non-functioning of cellphones to maintain the tragedy, even as coverage gets better and better. That makes me sad.

    dear rom im gonna od on coke j/k i took some valiuSMTP 550 RECIPIENT 'ROMOE' NOT FOUND ON SERVER

    ronya on
    aRkpc.gif
  • ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
    Olga_of_Kiev.gif

    Man, you don't want to cross this lady.

    21c should totes pixel this

    aRkpc.gif
  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    ronya wrote: »
    Olga_of_Kiev.gif

    Man, you don't want to cross this lady.

    21c should totes pixel this

    @21stCentury

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Cinders wrote: »
    Casual wants mcdonalds

    Well you had a good run together. There's no shame in these things ending

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • CasualCasual Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Flap Flap Flap Registered User regular
    Cinders wrote: »
    Casual wants mcdonalds

    Mcmuffins are great. You are wrong about this one and I regret nothing.

  • ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
    Cinders wrote: »
    Casual wants mcdonalds

    4gtevucaowx4.jpg

    aRkpc.gif
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    Cinders are you going to come to Croatia when I'm there

    before you answer, let me remind you that I am the worst

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Cinders wrote: »
    Casual wants mcdonalds

    If just for an Egg and [Pigmeat] McMuffin, okay.

    Otherwise, :/

  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    simonwolf wrote: »
    Cinders are you going to come to Croatia when I'm there

    before you answer, let me remind you that I am the worst

    Oh come on.

    You're just a bit of a brat.

  • evilbobevilbob RADELAIDERegistered User regular
    [chat] breakups are so sad.

    l5sruu1fyatf.jpg

  • simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    simonwolf wrote: »
    Cinders are you going to come to Croatia when I'm there

    before you answer, let me remind you that I am the worst

    Oh come on.

    You're just a bit of a brat.

    the [chat] brat pack

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    ronya wrote: »
    Which makes me realise: Any future contemporary adaptation of Romeo and Juliet are gonna have to contrive the non-functioning of cellphones to maintain the tragedy, even as coverage gets better and better. That makes me sad.

    dear rom im gonna od on coke j/k i took some valiuSMTP 550 RECIPIENT 'ROMOE' NOT FOUND ON SERVER

    That's almost as dumb as the climax to the movie "Barbarians", where the villain fails to kill the heroes because he forgot that he's missing his trigger finger, which he lost at the beginning of the movie and at least 15 years previously.

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Casual wrote: »
    Cinders wrote: »
    Casual wants mcdonalds

    Mcmuffins are great. You are wrong about this one and I regret nothing.

    In that case I stand with House Corgi.

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    Perhaps a twitch stream can be made that is me singing stupid songs about what happens as I play games. Farming terminals in Marvel Heroes to the tune of frere jacque

    grinding loot drops
    grinding loot drops
    shit a boss
    that hit hurt
    have to use a heal now
    hope he doesn't hit me
    now he's dead
    shit all greens

    for hours

  • evilbobevilbob RADELAIDERegistered User regular
    _J_ wrote: »
    Perhaps a twitch stream can be made that is me singing stupid songs about what happens as I play games. Farming terminals in Marvel Heroes to the tune of frere jacque

    grinding loot drops
    grinding loot drops
    shit a boss
    that hit hurt
    have to use a heal now
    hope he doesn't hit me
    now he's dead
    shit all greens

    for hours

    I've seen worse twitch streams.

    l5sruu1fyatf.jpg

  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    @Cinders in a relationship you have to compromise.

  • KanaKana Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
    Hey simon

    Have you by chance caught any of Death Parade?

    that show is super interesting

    Kana on
    A trap is for fish: when you've got the fish, you can forget the trap. A snare is for rabbits: when you've got the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words are for meaning: when you've got the meaning, you can forget the words.
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    Cinders, I invoked your fascination with Turkish oil wrestlers earlier. It was met with moderate approval.

  • ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
    compromcmuffin

    aRkpc.gif
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
    McMuffin makers are surprisingly cheap. I kinda want to get one and eat myself into egg sandwich oblivion.

    Edit: Good God, the first review on this is long as fuck, he keeps coming back and adding more to it.

    Gim on
  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    Kana wrote: »
    Hey simon

    Have you by chance caught any of Death Parade?

    that show is super interesting

    Its real good!

  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    So last night I had a dream.

    It was a pretty long dream.

    It was on a porch on a sunny day at a nice round porch table like you see in Home & Garden magazines, complete with tall glasses of iced green tea or lemonade or whatever.

    And I was behind the eyes of my D&D character, a 6'4" blue angel man in a super fluffy grizzly bear fur coat who summons angels and is vaguely based on Ruby Rhod.

    And he was having a nice conversation with Athena. Probably the one from Puzzle and Dragons, but not all anime.

    And they were talking about how oh Athena's shield isn't a problem because she can just shrink it down to a reasonable size so she's not being a goose to people when she's wandering around town all bashing them with the shield all day.

    Maybe it's good that I don't dream much anymore.

  • ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
    but half the charm of a mcmuffin is being able to acquire one on a dreary morning

    aRkpc.gif
  • CindersCinders Whose sails were black when it was windy Registered User regular
    simonwolf wrote: »
    Cinders are you going to come to Croatia when I'm there

    before you answer, let me remind you that I am the worst

    ... Croatia?

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    I propose a compromise: There's a Mom&Pop Breakfast Sandwich shop near the Clock in the center of Dumfries. C&C can go there for their muffiny goodness!

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Cinders wrote: »
    simonwolf wrote: »
    Cinders are you going to come to Croatia when I'm there

    before you answer, let me remind you that I am the worst

    ... Croatia?

    AKA the Irridentist Claim of Italy to the Dalmatian Coast.

  • SanderJKSanderJK Crocodylus Pontifex Sinterklasicus Madrid, 3000 ADRegistered User regular
    The Romeo/Juliet vs Bonnie/Clyde ERB isn't a high point.

    But it does have the line "Romeo! Oh Nomeo!" which will be with me forever.

    Steam: SanderJK Origin: SanderJK
  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    SanderJK wrote: »
    The Romeo/Juliet vs Bonnie/Clyde ERB isn't a high point.

    But it does have the line "Romeo! Oh Nomeo!" which will be with me forever.

    As a team, B&C win. But Juliet had the best lines.

  • KanaKana Registered User regular
    Also now I'm watching Rolling Girls and hahaha wtf is this show

    A trap is for fish: when you've got the fish, you can forget the trap. A snare is for rabbits: when you've got the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words are for meaning: when you've got the meaning, you can forget the words.
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    Kana wrote: »
    Also now I'm watching Rolling Girls and hahaha wtf is this show

    I haven't watched Death Parade but I have been tempted to break my "only watch a show once it is complete" policy for Rolling Girls since that seems amazing

This discussion has been closed.