I need feminism because the cleaner who comes in on weekends in my office often comes into my area of the building to chat with the weekend tech guys while on break, and he's just about every sexist stereotype possible. When he talks about the females, he uses the same tone of voice for the females as he does for shit overflowing from clogged toilets. His comments on the females are almost all dog whistle stuff. He doesn't see anything wrong with it, he's just telling a story. Like the one about the female, who tried to zip in and take his parking space in the Wal Mart parking lot, and who accused him of being a bad driver. But he just calmly said to the female, "Ma'am, I think you need to learn the rules of the road or find someone else to drive you around." Because females, right?
I've complained about him, and I understand he's at least temporarily been assigned elsewhere. So there's that.
Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
Even the few "men's rights" issues that remotely resonate (like child support/custody issues) are direct results of the patriarchy and perceived gender roles.
One of my oldest friends from school is heading up the uber branch in my home town. And we don't talk nowadays so I don't want to message him put of the blue with 'hey your company is fucking dodgy', but whenever he posts stuff on FB about über I get pretty
Fake edit: oh NOW you remember how to spell german? Fuckin phone ...
Has there been some kind of awful trend with Uber drivers?
Yes. It's not quite "Dial-a-rapist" level terrible, but since there are no background checks and since Uber takes no responsibility for what their drivers do, there have been a number of instances of reported rape and sexual assault, and a lot of drivers being terrible verbally in just about every way possible.
Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
So I came across this while looking for funny animal pictures on imgur and now I am sad and really frustrated.
I'm not sure if it is true or not, but it seems like a common enough thing that even if this particular case isn't, more people should know.
tl;dr: Person tells parents that they are a trans woman and stepdad? tells person to pack their shit and move out and that taking hormone pills is selfish etc etc and what the fuck, man.
I am sending hugs and such to anyone who has ever had to deal with stupid shit like this guy. Also, I want to thank you all on the forums for having the trans and feminism threads for helping to open my eyes and make me (i think) a more accepting person. So thanks for all being rad.
Regarding the first numbered paragraph in the email, about the ex..
Is this for real? (Am I reading this right?) Could the ex really get a court order to have the person's siblings moved from that household because the person is trans?
Even the suggestion of it is revolting.
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
Even the few "men's rights" issues that remotely resonate (like child support/custody issues) are direct results of the patriarchy and perceived gender roles.
Feminism is still the answer!
So the thing about "court gender bias towards mothers getting custody" is... it's almost certainly a myth. I first came across the idea that it might be a myth from a really great book that everyone should read, Why Does He Do That, about abusive men and how they use societal expectations to not only abuse women but enlist family and friends and therapists and lawyers as additional levels of abuse. He pointed out that of course the court system is biased towards men; most judges and lawyers are men. It's like assuming that American law is biased towards women, when it's mostly (old white) men who write the laws. One of the things discussed in the book is how in the author's work with abusive men, he's witnessed many cases where even men who are under suspicion of abusing their children pretty easily get unrestricted access to their kids, especially if the woman appears "crazy" (because her ex-partner is threatening and gaslighting her, and doing god knows what to her child, of course she would be emotionally unsettled from that!) while the man appears calm.
Even the few "men's rights" issues that remotely resonate (like child support/custody issues) are direct results of the patriarchy and perceived gender roles.
Feminism is still the answer!
I can't help but feel "men's rights" advocates are nothing more than bitter men that are bitter about not getting laid. But I refuse to explore reddit to find out for sure.
I've only used Uber once, and the guy just talked to some friend on a headset. Which seemed...less than professional but at 2am I really didn't want to make small talk.
My mum 'taught' me how to use a taxi alone, ie: always sit in the back so they can't touch you, pretend you're texting a friend/on the phone and say you'll meet them soon. Its crazy you have to do that.
I've only used Uber once, and the guy just talked to some friend on a headset. Which seemed...less than professional but at 2am I really didn't want to make small talk.
Like 90% of taxi cab drivers are on the phone while driving you.
DragkoniasThat Guy Who Does StuffYou Know, There. Registered Userregular
edited March 2015
Actually i remember someone on Twitter who almost got kidnapped by an Uber driver.
Said she thought something was up first with the streets he took them he started driving fast when she started asking questions. Had managed to get away when he slowed down for a moment.
Said she called the company multiple times and they just brushed it off and police weren't being all too helpful either.
Why i don't get that excited about deregulation and poor documentation of employees.
Dragkonias on
+4
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KwoaruConfident SmirkFlawless Golden PecsRegistered Userregular
Even the few "men's rights" issues that remotely resonate (like child support/custody issues) are direct results of the patriarchy and perceived gender roles.
Feminism is still the answer!
So the thing about "court gender bias towards mothers getting custody" is... it's almost certainly a myth. I first came across the idea that it might be a myth from a really great book that everyone should read, Why Does He Do That, about abusive men and how they use societal expectations to not only abuse women but enlist family and friends and therapists and lawyers as additional levels of abuse. He pointed out that of course the court system is biased towards men; most judges and lawyers are men. It's like assuming that American law is biased towards women, when it's mostly (old white) men who write the laws. One of the things discussed in the book is how in the author's work with abusive men, he's witnessed many cases where even men who are under suspicion of abusing their children pretty easily get unrestricted access to their kids, especially if the woman appears "crazy" (because her ex-partner is threatening and gaslighting her, and doing god knows what to her child, of course she would be emotionally unsettled from that!) while the man appears calm.
Even the few "men's rights" issues that remotely resonate (like child support/custody issues) are direct results of the patriarchy and perceived gender roles.
Feminism is still the answer!
I can't help but feel "men's rights" advocates are nothing more than bitter men that are bitter about not getting laid. But I refuse to explore reddit to find out for sure.
we had someone go on a shooting spree with "women won't have sex with me" as his reasoning
I've only used Uber once, and the guy just talked to some friend on a headset. Which seemed...less than professional but at 2am I really didn't want to make small talk.
Like 90% of taxi cab drivers are on the phone while driving you.
I take like maybe 2-3 cab rides a year. Last one I took was a year ago and the guy complained about his boyfriend the whole time.
+1
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Lost Salientblink twiceif you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered Userregular
In some places it is illegal to sit in the front.
Uber is terrible.
AND
Even if you're turned on by the whole "control/dominance" thing (heyy I totally am), that should be part of the conversation about what you like after enthusiastic consent has been established. "Yes I am interested, yes I want to do _____," can (and I kinda feel like should, although I've had my own problems with vocalizing and with getting responses to vocalizing) be followed by, "And you know what I think is hot?" or "What turns you on? Do you like ____? Can we try ______?"
Knowing that the other person is totally into it (or at least that they're willing to try) is 120% worth any awkwardness that sort of conversation may engender.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
I've taken Uber a couple of times. But that's because there's basically no way to get a cab in Hyde Park after dark without one. And I really didn't want to walk from my friend's apartment to the train at night and wait at the station by myself for several minutes. (That walk goes through the area I always get cat-called, and people keep getting mugged at that train station.)
Weirdly enough, I've had better luck with Uber drivers than when I just hail a cab. The last time I had to hail a cab it was because there was some kind of major demonstration/protest (I'm not sure what, there was no news coverage on it) being held by a bunch of Muslim people and they canceled my train. The cab driver was from Bulgaria, hated everything to do with Islam because of stuff the Ottoman Empire did to the Christian population in the Balkans (which was admittedly pretty shitty.) He saw the demonstrators walking away from the train station, and went on this rant about how lucky I am that I don't live in the Middle East because I'd have no rights and have to wear a veil. Then he proceeded to complain about how stupid the veil concept was, because apparently there's no way to tell if a girl's attractive when she's all covered up like that. (Then he segued into into the stuff about the Balkans.)
It was pretty much the worst cab ride I've ever had.
One time taking a cab home from a bar super shitfaced in Portland, my friend and I had agreed ahead of time to just talk about some super scandalous shit in the hopes it would get on "Taxicab Confessions" or whatever. To this day we can't remember what we talked about, but we're pretty sure we didn't get on "Taxicab Confessions".
In short, though, I wouldn't get into a car that wasn't at least bonded by a company. As much as I love the Conan Lyft video, I'm not sure the service is for me.
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
I've taken Uber a couple of times. But that's because there's basically no way to get a cab in Hyde Park after dark without one. And I really didn't want to walk from my friend's apartment to the train at night and wait at the station by myself for several minutes. (That walk goes through the area I always get cat-called, and people keep getting mugged at that train station.)
Weirdly enough, I've had better luck with Uber drivers than when I just hail a cab. The last time I had to hail a cab it was because there was some kind of major demonstration/protest (I'm not sure what, there was no news coverage on it) being held by a bunch of Muslim people and they canceled my train. The cab driver was from Bulgaria, hated everything to do with Islam because of stuff the Ottoman Empire did to the Christian population in the Balkans (which was admittedly pretty shitty.) So he saw the demonstrators walking away from the train station, and went on this rant about how lucky I am that I don't live in the Middle East because I'd have no rights and have to wear a veil. Then he proceeded to complain about how stupid the veil concept was, because apparently there's no way to tell if a girl's attractive when she's all covered up like that.
It was pretty much the worst cab ride I've ever had.
All my cab rides (in the Dallas area) have been terrible, and all my uber rides have been good.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I need feminism because I want more female protagonists in my games that are not scantily clad (exceptions for raygun gothic) and do not want it hailed as a marketing point of social justice or catering to fans. Just let a female character be a normal thing. No fanservice, no boob windows, just a pair of XX chromosomes, a gun, and some body armor.
Oh, I had the epiphany that because all the characters in Final Fantasy VI were drawn to the same height because of sprites, I remembered the female characters having just as much strength and agency as the male characters, even though there were only two of them. I also have a hard time picturing them as shorter now in the modern art of the game.
This is all because of how the game is programmed and while I know Terra and Celes should be physically smaller and weaker than Sabin or Locke, it just doesn't feel right.
Technically there are three female characters, although Relm is pretty minor. But, in a game that didn't have a clearly-established main protagonist, Terra and Celes are the only two who have a substantive claim for the title. People try to prop up Locke as a candidate, but there isn't much basis for it. He's mostly only important through his relationships with the two female leads. (Which is kind of insane for the era, now that I actually say it like that out loud.)
Even more insane than that is the fact that Terra is heavily implied to be asexual, and coming to terms with that and what it means in terms of her ability to have meaningful human relationships is kind of the major crux of her character arc. I mean, the waters are muddied by the fact that she isn't strictly human, and that's what gets more explicit attention, but even so I don't think I've ever seen another asexual character before or since.
Even Final Fantasy V was somewhat ahead of the curve. You ended with a party of one male and three female heroes, and Faris's whole arc was about her rejecting traditional feminine gender roles and everyone being totally fine with it.
This is kind of making me wish I had time to do some sort of exhaustive analysis of the Final Fantasy series and seeing where and how they did well and poorly on feminist issues, but I haven't even played much of anything post-VII (except for IX). I especially ought to play X-II and see if the complaints levied against it are legitimate or total nonsense, 'cause it seems like that could really go either way.
Even the few "men's rights" issues that remotely resonate (like child support/custody issues) are direct results of the patriarchy and perceived gender roles.
Feminism is still the answer!
So the thing about "court gender bias towards mothers getting custody" is... it's almost certainly a myth. I first came across the idea that it might be a myth from a really great book that everyone should read, Why Does He Do That, about abusive men and how they use societal expectations to not only abuse women but enlist family and friends and therapists and lawyers as additional levels of abuse. He pointed out that of course the court system is biased towards men; most judges and lawyers are men. It's like assuming that American law is biased towards women, when it's mostly (old white) men who write the laws. One of the things discussed in the book is how in the author's work with abusive men, he's witnessed many cases where even men who are under suspicion of abusing their children pretty easily get unrestricted access to their kids, especially if the woman appears "crazy" (because her ex-partner is threatening and gaslighting her, and doing god knows what to her child, of course she would be emotionally unsettled from that!) while the man appears calm.
Wow didn't know this. So even their one thing is bullshit.
Look, men get done over in plenty of ways by misogyny/patriarchy. It's just that when I started to compile a list (this thread (& previous ones here) was actually super useful for that) and compared it to the list of ways that women get the shitty end of the stick, the first list looked basically like this:
Men: As a man I should want to smash the Patriarchy because it means I:
Feel embarrassed by things I have done, even if I didn't deliberately mean to be misogynist when I did them, or maybe even thought I was being a good person
Realised I made feeble excuses for or mitigations of or just decided not to do anything about embarrassing or shitty misogyinist things other men did
Feel embarassed by things other men have done
Feel guilty about the generally shitty second class deal that women get
Now understand an exciting & diverse selection of ways that women get a second class shitty deal
Miss opportunities at work to work with or alongside competent people
Annoy or disappoint my female friends & loved ones without even realising I am doing so
Saw my relationship fall apart without being able to understand why, and I was helpless to stop it happening and with what i know now I could maybe have turned that around
Fail to grow as a person as far and as well as I could
Feel pressure not to admit that I am emotionally affected by problems or otherwise communicate my emotions
Feel pressure not to admit my sexual/gender orientation
Be disappointed because women are pressured not to be straightforward and assertive about sex and I like it when they are.
Etc.
Now those are all perfectly valid reasons for a dingus-having person to hate and fear sexism and misogyny, and I will happily recite them to any male person I discuss the subject with who is unsure about why he should get on side, but I will lay good odds that the female readers of this thread will not even have got halfway down it before raising a mental or even literal eyebrow, taking a deep breath and...
Posts
I need feminism because the cleaner who comes in on weekends in my office often comes into my area of the building to chat with the weekend tech guys while on break, and he's just about every sexist stereotype possible. When he talks about the females, he uses the same tone of voice for the females as he does for shit overflowing from clogged toilets. His comments on the females are almost all dog whistle stuff. He doesn't see anything wrong with it, he's just telling a story. Like the one about the female, who tried to zip in and take his parking space in the Wal Mart parking lot, and who accused him of being a bad driver. But he just calmly said to the female, "Ma'am, I think you need to learn the rules of the road or find someone else to drive you around." Because females, right?
I've complained about him, and I understand he's at least temporarily been assigned elsewhere. So there's that.
So do the "how to avoid rape" pamphlets they give women....
Yeah I think that's also part of the point, at least as far as it's a satire of the usual rape prevention info.
http://jezebel.com/philadelphia-woman-says-she-was-raped-and-kidnapped-by-1693382321?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow
Feminism is still the answer!
Fake edit: oh NOW you remember how to spell german? Fuckin phone ...
Yes. It's not quite "Dial-a-rapist" level terrible, but since there are no background checks and since Uber takes no responsibility for what their drivers do, there have been a number of instances of reported rape and sexual assault, and a lot of drivers being terrible verbally in just about every way possible.
Is this for real? (Am I reading this right?) Could the ex really get a court order to have the person's siblings moved from that household because the person is trans?
Even the suggestion of it is revolting.
So the thing about "court gender bias towards mothers getting custody" is... it's almost certainly a myth. I first came across the idea that it might be a myth from a really great book that everyone should read, Why Does He Do That, about abusive men and how they use societal expectations to not only abuse women but enlist family and friends and therapists and lawyers as additional levels of abuse. He pointed out that of course the court system is biased towards men; most judges and lawyers are men. It's like assuming that American law is biased towards women, when it's mostly (old white) men who write the laws. One of the things discussed in the book is how in the author's work with abusive men, he's witnessed many cases where even men who are under suspicion of abusing their children pretty easily get unrestricted access to their kids, especially if the woman appears "crazy" (because her ex-partner is threatening and gaslighting her, and doing god knows what to her child, of course she would be emotionally unsettled from that!) while the man appears calm.
Some actual statistics on it: Turns out a majority of child custody is decided towards mothers just but that's because the parents decide that themselves before ever getting to court. Only 1.5% of custody cases are even decided by the courts.
More about this topic here
I can't help but feel "men's rights" advocates are nothing more than bitter men that are bitter about not getting laid. But I refuse to explore reddit to find out for sure.
Like 90% of taxi cab drivers are on the phone while driving you.
america, you crazy.
Said she thought something was up first with the streets he took them he started driving fast when she started asking questions. Had managed to get away when he slowed down for a moment.
Said she called the company multiple times and they just brushed it off and police weren't being all too helpful either.
Why i don't get that excited about deregulation and poor documentation of employees.
Wow didn't know this. So even their one thing is bullshit.
we had someone go on a shooting spree with "women won't have sex with me" as his reasoning
Uber is terrible.
AND
Even if you're turned on by the whole "control/dominance" thing (heyy I totally am), that should be part of the conversation about what you like after enthusiastic consent has been established. "Yes I am interested, yes I want to do _____," can (and I kinda feel like should, although I've had my own problems with vocalizing and with getting responses to vocalizing) be followed by, "And you know what I think is hot?" or "What turns you on? Do you like ____? Can we try ______?"
Knowing that the other person is totally into it (or at least that they're willing to try) is 120% worth any awkwardness that sort of conversation may engender.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Weirdly enough, I've had better luck with Uber drivers than when I just hail a cab. The last time I had to hail a cab it was because there was some kind of major demonstration/protest (I'm not sure what, there was no news coverage on it) being held by a bunch of Muslim people and they canceled my train. The cab driver was from Bulgaria, hated everything to do with Islam because of stuff the Ottoman Empire did to the Christian population in the Balkans (which was admittedly pretty shitty.) He saw the demonstrators walking away from the train station, and went on this rant about how lucky I am that I don't live in the Middle East because I'd have no rights and have to wear a veil. Then he proceeded to complain about how stupid the veil concept was, because apparently there's no way to tell if a girl's attractive when she's all covered up like that. (Then he segued into into the stuff about the Balkans.)
It was pretty much the worst cab ride I've ever had.
You cannot desire something that's defined by a lack of consent.
Thanks a bunch @Usagi , and everyone else who makes these sort of threads great.
In short, though, I wouldn't get into a car that wasn't at least bonded by a company. As much as I love the Conan Lyft video, I'm not sure the service is for me.
All my cab rides (in the Dallas area) have been terrible, and all my uber rides have been good.
"I'll be back again when you restock on good booze!"
Technically there are three female characters, although Relm is pretty minor. But, in a game that didn't have a clearly-established main protagonist, Terra and Celes are the only two who have a substantive claim for the title. People try to prop up Locke as a candidate, but there isn't much basis for it. He's mostly only important through his relationships with the two female leads. (Which is kind of insane for the era, now that I actually say it like that out loud.)
Even more insane than that is the fact that Terra is heavily implied to be asexual, and coming to terms with that and what it means in terms of her ability to have meaningful human relationships is kind of the major crux of her character arc. I mean, the waters are muddied by the fact that she isn't strictly human, and that's what gets more explicit attention, but even so I don't think I've ever seen another asexual character before or since.
Even Final Fantasy V was somewhat ahead of the curve. You ended with a party of one male and three female heroes, and Faris's whole arc was about her rejecting traditional feminine gender roles and everyone being totally fine with it.
This is kind of making me wish I had time to do some sort of exhaustive analysis of the Final Fantasy series and seeing where and how they did well and poorly on feminist issues, but I haven't even played much of anything post-VII (except for IX). I especially ought to play X-II and see if the complaints levied against it are legitimate or total nonsense, 'cause it seems like that could really go either way.
Actually untrue!
Fetishes span the spectrum, as uncomfortable as that may make people, the key is to try to enact those fantasies in a safe a manner as possible
Look, men get done over in plenty of ways by misogyny/patriarchy. It's just that when I started to compile a list (this thread (& previous ones here) was actually super useful for that) and compared it to the list of ways that women get the shitty end of the stick, the first list looked basically like this:
Men: As a man I should want to smash the Patriarchy because it means I:
Feel embarrassed by things I have done, even if I didn't deliberately mean to be misogynist when I did them, or maybe even thought I was being a good person
Realised I made feeble excuses for or mitigations of or just decided not to do anything about embarrassing or shitty misogyinist things other men did
Feel embarassed by things other men have done
Feel guilty about the generally shitty second class deal that women get
Now understand an exciting & diverse selection of ways that women get a second class shitty deal
Miss opportunities at work to work with or alongside competent people
Annoy or disappoint my female friends & loved ones without even realising I am doing so
Saw my relationship fall apart without being able to understand why, and I was helpless to stop it happening and with what i know now I could maybe have turned that around
Fail to grow as a person as far and as well as I could
Feel pressure not to admit that I am emotionally affected by problems or otherwise communicate my emotions
Feel pressure not to admit my sexual/gender orientation
Be disappointed because women are pressured not to be straightforward and assertive about sex and I like it when they are.
Etc.
Now those are all perfectly valid reasons for a dingus-having person to hate and fear sexism and misogyny, and I will happily recite them to any male person I discuss the subject with who is unsure about why he should get on side, but I will lay good odds that the female readers of this thread will not even have got halfway down it before raising a mental or even literal eyebrow, taking a deep breath and...
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom