I wonder how much Tinder has increased the rate at which people hook up. I know it's certainly increased the number of girls I've hooked up with, and my friend has banged a crazy amount of girls he met off there. And most of my friends (girls and guys) have used it and had a certain amount of success.
It may be due to location and/or you hang out with attractive people. It's hardly scientific, but when we do discuss it here it's a minority of people that have success with it unless you count talking with bots and camgirls fishing for customers as success.
Tinder probably improves the rate at which super attractive people hook up with each other... Us normals on the other hand, not so much.
I have also noticed every single person I would like to swipe right in tinder either has "no hookups" specifically in their description or is a catfish.
I can try to find hooking up stats but I was under the impression that it was super common
Common does not mean done by the majority. Enough people are at any given campus or even at any given party or social function that some will be hooking up with each other is very high but despite what Brazzers tells us isn't going to happen for everyone. It's like the way that a a room full of people has a very good probability of two of them sharing a birthday: It happens often but it's not happening to most of the people in the room, and the odds if it happening to you specifically are pretty low.
I am looking through lecture slides from a course I took on intimate relationships, and the number given is 85% (for people who hook up at least once)
Unfortunately he didn't cite it, which I will talk to him about (because I've gone back to his slides a lot and it's very frustrating to not be able to track down information)
I stopped looking at profiles on Tinder and just started swiping right on almost everyone.
I match with maybe one non-bot every couple of months.
New, better pictures. I am going to force my friend to help me get some.
I just uninstalled Tinder entirely because I think I went about 5 months without matching a single non-bot. It didn't hurt that almost immediately after I quit, they announced that limit on the number of swipes thing.
I can try to find hooking up stats but I was under the impression that it was super common
Common does not mean done by the majority. Enough people are at any given campus or even at any given party or social function that some will be hooking up with each other is very high but despite what Brazzers tells us isn't going to happen for everyone. It's like the way that a a room full of people has a very good probability of two of them sharing a birthday: It happens often but it's not happening to most of the people in the room, and the odds if it happening to you specifically are pretty low.
I am looking through lecture slides from a course I took on intimate relationships, and the number given is 85% (for people who hook up at least once)
Unfortunately he didn't cite it, which I will talk to him about (because I've gone back to his slides a lot and it's very frustrating to not be able to track down information)
It sounds like he's using very different metrics than what we'd generally refer to as hooking up. I've had casual sex once in the last 3 years so I'm part of that 85% cited but given that's the only intimate relation I've had in that time I don't think most people would refer to me as someone who is hooking up.
I can try to find hooking up stats but I was under the impression that it was super common
Common does not mean done by the majority. Enough people are at any given campus or even at any given party or social function that some will be hooking up with each other is very high but despite what Brazzers tells us isn't going to happen for everyone. It's like the way that a a room full of people has a very good probability of two of them sharing a birthday: It happens often but it's not happening to most of the people in the room, and the odds if it happening to you specifically are pretty low.
I am looking through lecture slides from a course I took on intimate relationships, and the number given is 85% (for people who hook up at least once)
Unfortunately he didn't cite it, which I will talk to him about (because I've gone back to his slides a lot and it's very frustrating to not be able to track down information)
It sounds like he's using very different metrics than what we'd generally refer to as hooking up. I've had casual sex once in the last 3 years so I'm part of that 85% cited but given that's the only intimate relation I've had in that time I don't think most people would refer to me as someone who is hooking up.
Oh . . . I made myself sad.
Well, it presumably wasn't him, but a study. But it sounds like we actually just disagree on the interpretation of "hooking up is common" :P
I'm sure that the study was done by asking college seniors "have you ever hooked up in college." It's just the way of psychology, for better or for (usually) worse.
I think the percentage of people who have hooked up at all, and are not just exclusively about hooking up, is reasonably up there.
I'm looking for a relationship now, but there was a time when I wasn't, and also in between my more recent relationships I hooked up because "why not? I'm single" etc.
Getting picked up at the pub is okay by me.
I don't think the practice or lack of is anything to judge.
Tinder probably improves the rate at which super attractive people hook up with each other... Us normals on the other hand, not so much.
I would assume that most people would match at similar levels of perceived attractiveness no?
Not necessarily. OKCupid had a data trends blog entry (which I sadly cannot find along with some of their entries) showing that a lot people become far more pickier regarding attractiveness of potential partners and severely downrated people that weren't super attractive.
The OKC data trends blog really could just rename itself to "People are terrible online" and be accurate.
thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
I suspect I've stumbled onto a bot.
Doesn't acknowledge any questions in my messages unless my previous message was simplistic enougb and sends generic and short-ish replies back with a few key words from the previous post.
Yea. I'm only slightly joking. Im still ~80% confident that I'm exchanging messages with a human. They're just probably very apprehensive at the moment, and are waiting for a little while before opening up on some of the answer front.
There are bots and then there are also fake accounts. I don't know what the fake accounts are for (phishing? maybe it's a dude?) but they will usually at lease kinda answer you questions, although conversation is horrible.
Lovely date tonight, made a quick dinner that was nice, hung out and watched the birds at my feeder while cuddling, made truly atrociously badly formed but still quite delicious cookies, and talked a bunch.
A reply from someone I sent a message to a week ago, account closed. A "thanks for the message, sorry I met someone and am closing my account" heads up.
Appreciated sure but I've never seen that. Maybe if we had been talking.
Like... yeah. Even if you'd been chatting! The fade-out is completely acceptable as an indicator that for any number of reasons you're out. No one needs a detailed itinerary.
Eh, actually I'd appreciate a message like Infy got if there had been a conversation going, just as a courtesy for why the conversation was stopping. But yeah, if all that had happened was I'd sent a message out, then I don't see the need for a response a week later.
Though I guess it's possible that she didn't check the date and just hadn't logged into the account in a week.
Like... yeah. Even if you'd been chatting! The fade-out is completely acceptable as an indicator that for any number of reasons you're out. No one needs a detailed itinerary.
Acceptable doesn't always mean it's within someone's comfort level. Which is fine, people are free to go above what's acceptable. More important to avoid going below it.
Below it often meaning the waistline. Which means avoiding dick pics.
I had a 2nd date cancelled recently. She said she had to take her dog to the vet and wanted to reschedule. She then went silent for a couple days then texted me saying things got more serious with someone else. At least I didn't have to suffer through an awkward 2nd date with a person who'd rather be going out with another guy.
I just got a like from someone, but their profile is 90% jokes. Like there self summary is a description of a wine, their "first thing people notice about me" is describing a dog. I understand that a lot of these questions are awkward or even stupid, but you have to give me something to go off of. I don't think it's a fake account. I hoping it's just new and she'll fill it out more.
A reply from someone I sent a message to a week ago, account closed. A "thanks for the message, sorry I met someone and am closing my account" heads up.
Appreciated sure but I've never seen that. Maybe if we had been talking.
I can do you one better.
Just had a girl message me on okcupid (after we had been texting awhile back) telling me she had to change her number and "disappear for awhile". She seemed a little bit wilder, but I wonder what the fuck she got into haha.
The date last night wasn't bad. The girl was cute and friendly. We met at a bar and then went to an outdoor showing of The Odd Couple. We had 45 minutes at the bar before the movie, and that went by pretty quick. The idea of an outdoor movie is fun, but this is Arizona and it's still hot at night. Plus, I remembered the movie as being better than it was. Oh well. I knew going in that movies aren't a great first date (let's sit in the dark and not talk). I walked her to her car and gave her a hug. I wasn't sure how it went, so when I got home I sent her a quick message and she responded right back. We'll see. I'm trying not to read too much into these things.
When I was walking back to my car I noticed I got a message from another girl asking me out for drinks, so that's cool.
The mutual like that took awhile to respond to my first message never responded to my second. Her loss
Well the good news is I had the bio student over and they liked my dinner recipe so much they asked for it. Also that we had an amazing time and it was just the latest in a string of really amazing times.
The bad news is that I'm realizing I've started focusing on this person and that I really want to focus on them. Which means I'm getting to do two break-up conversations this week.
Let's see if my really fucking spectacular luck holds!
I just hope I don't disappoint people too much. It's only been a couple months, I figure that's early enough that it shouldn't really tear anyone's heart out. Agh. I like the other two people so much, I just really don't feel like I'm as compatible across the board with them.
I'm going to meet a girl I went to high school with at her house tonight. We're not calling it a date, but she did say she had a crush on me back then. Tomorrow, I'm going on a second date with the girl from last week. She invited me to this bike ride thing, we're getting drinks before. I thought the other OKC person who asked me out for drinks wrote me off. She suggested Wednesday after the other girl asked me to the bike ride. I told her what my schedule was like and she didn't get back to me for a few days. However, she wrote me again this morning and said she's checking her schedule.
I drove to a Bikram yoga class last night. I thought it would be fun (if I don't die) and maybe a good place to meet people (when I've gone before it's mostly women), but when I got to the parking lot I chickened out and left. I'll try again this weekend.
I sent out a few messages, but didn't hear back on any of them yet. That's okay, I'm not chasing anyone. I'm trying to be open to whatever experiences come my way. I signed up for Match yesterday, mostly just to see if it's the same people. I got a message that "someone likes you", I can't remember if I even uploaded a picture yet. I went to log in and my account is blocked. I got an email that my profile was approved, but nothing about this. The site itself does seem to be shit compared to OKC. Maybe I'll give Tinder a shot? I thought it was just for hookups, but I'm old/wrong. Reading the thread it seems like just another online dating option.
They're all owned by the same company, so :rotate:
Well, not yet anyway... But yeah, like all the single interest dating sites (farmers only, our time, j-date, black people meet, Christian mingle...) All owned by the same company.
I think it's important not to get super hung up on people instantly replying to things on OKC.
The people I've been dating all took a little bit to get back to me about setting things up. The person I'm planning on being exclusive with was kind of up in the air about our first date until the day of when I double-checked the time and place. If they're interested, they'll get back to you. But they may not be checking OKC at work and have other things to do tonight at home or whatever.
I think it's important not to get super hung up on people instantly replying to things on OKC.
I think you're right. I use the like function to mark people I might want to message. Once I send that first message I try to completely forget about it. If they respond, great. If not, it's just like any other attractive person I see during the day that I don't end up talking to. I kind of want to hide them once I've sent that message, but I don't know how that works. Is it like ignore? I don't want to miss a message or a like from them. I just feel my interaction with them is done unless they respond.
Is anybody using those super specific sites? Am I missing out on black jewish farmer ladies?
I think it's important not to get super hung up on people instantly replying to things on OKC.
I think you're right. I use the like function to mark people I might want to message. Once I send that first message I try to completely forget about it. If they respond, great. If not, it's just like any other attractive person I see during the day that I don't end up talking to. I kind of want to hide them once I've sent that message, but I don't know how that works. Is it like ignore? I don't want to miss a message or a like from them. I just feel my interaction with them is done unless they respond.
Is anybody using those super specific sites? Am I missing out on black jewish farmer ladies?
As I understand it, on OKC hide just stops them from showing in your searches and you from showing in theirs. If you message them they still see that and can respond / view your profile / etc.
Still, I don't like to hide someone I've messaged until I'm pretty sure they aren't going to message back (or things didn't work out).
Hung out tonight with a gal I had originally met off of ye ole internet dating scene. We had just been hanging but somehow tonight ended up with random couch cuddles and a goodnight kiss.
I ain't complaining, but I also have no idea how the hell that happened cause neither of us were angling for it and it's not like there's a romantic bend to it. We just like hanging out, and apparently now with some physical stuff thrown in.
Whatevs, I ain't gonna turn down cuddles and smoochies as long as it doesn't get weird.
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ResIpsaLoquiturNot a grammar nazi, just alt-write.Registered Userregular
edited August 2015
I'm popping in to say thanks to the people in this thread (and its predecessors), and to encourage people to keep at it.
I rejoined the dating pool in 2012, after a long dysfunctional relationship. I went for the online dating thing for the same reasons I suspect most people do. I also came here for advice, and the advice I got here almost certainly led to my getting good results.
Things that worked for me:
First, second, third drafts, and more are always good. Don't over-revise, but keeping a dating profile fresh means someone who was on the fence before might be ready to "like" or reply or whatever
Be honest, but that doesn't mean you have to tell everything. I'm a video game nerd, but it's not something I really advertise and didn't really feature in my profile. My nerdy book interests? Absolutely found its way in--I mean, hell, my profile name on OK Cupid was "Ford Prefect".
When you message, show that you've read their profile without it sounding contrived.
The good results? I've been married for six months, after dating her for almost 2 years. I messaged her in January 2013, and didn't get a reply for a while. She did--FINALLY--in February, and we had our first date a week after valentines day. We had a tremendously positive first date--once she was teaching me kakuro over indian food (in the restaurant, despite some odd looks from other diners), I knew we were on the right track
ResIpsaLoquitur on
League of Legends: MichaelDominick; Blizzard(NA): MichaelD#11402; Steam ID: MichaelDominick
I just realized you can't even view messages on match without subscribing. Holy shit does that suck. I think I'm going to delete my account, as I don't see how it has any use at all as a free service.
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It may be due to location and/or you hang out with attractive people. It's hardly scientific, but when we do discuss it here it's a minority of people that have success with it unless you count talking with bots and camgirls fishing for customers as success.
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3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
I have also noticed every single person I would like to swipe right in tinder either has "no hookups" specifically in their description or is a catfish.
I match with maybe one non-bot every couple of months.
New, better pictures. I am going to force my friend to help me get some.
I am looking through lecture slides from a course I took on intimate relationships, and the number given is 85% (for people who hook up at least once)
Unfortunately he didn't cite it, which I will talk to him about (because I've gone back to his slides a lot and it's very frustrating to not be able to track down information)
I just uninstalled Tinder entirely because I think I went about 5 months without matching a single non-bot. It didn't hurt that almost immediately after I quit, they announced that limit on the number of swipes thing.
It sounds like he's using very different metrics than what we'd generally refer to as hooking up. I've had casual sex once in the last 3 years so I'm part of that 85% cited but given that's the only intimate relation I've had in that time I don't think most people would refer to me as someone who is hooking up.
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3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
Well, it presumably wasn't him, but a study. But it sounds like we actually just disagree on the interpretation of "hooking up is common" :P
I'm sure that the study was done by asking college seniors "have you ever hooked up in college." It's just the way of psychology, for better or for (usually) worse.
I'm looking for a relationship now, but there was a time when I wasn't, and also in between my more recent relationships I hooked up because "why not? I'm single" etc.
Getting picked up at the pub is okay by me.
I don't think the practice or lack of is anything to judge.
I would assume that most people would match at similar levels of perceived attractiveness no?
Not necessarily. OKCupid had a data trends blog entry (which I sadly cannot find along with some of their entries) showing that a lot people become far more pickier regarding attractiveness of potential partners and severely downrated people that weren't super attractive.
The OKC data trends blog really could just rename itself to "People are terrible online" and be accurate.
Steam Profile
3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
Doesn't acknowledge any questions in my messages unless my previous message was simplistic enougb and sends generic and short-ish replies back with a few key words from the previous post.
Goodie gumdrops
Yea. I'm only slightly joking. Im still ~80% confident that I'm exchanging messages with a human. They're just probably very apprehensive at the moment, and are waiting for a little while before opening up on some of the answer front.
Although that girl seemed a less-than-good match anyway. Seemed kind of into me, feh.
A reply from someone I sent a message to a week ago, account closed. A "thanks for the message, sorry I met someone and am closing my account" heads up.
Appreciated sure but I've never seen that. Maybe if we had been talking.
Like... yeah. Even if you'd been chatting! The fade-out is completely acceptable as an indicator that for any number of reasons you're out. No one needs a detailed itinerary.
Though I guess it's possible that she didn't check the date and just hadn't logged into the account in a week.
Acceptable doesn't always mean it's within someone's comfort level. Which is fine, people are free to go above what's acceptable. More important to avoid going below it.
Below it often meaning the waistline. Which means avoiding dick pics.
Steam Profile
3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
Those ones I just don't get!
I can do you one better.
Just had a girl message me on okcupid (after we had been texting awhile back) telling me she had to change her number and "disappear for awhile". She seemed a little bit wilder, but I wonder what the fuck she got into haha.
When I was walking back to my car I noticed I got a message from another girl asking me out for drinks, so that's cool.
The mutual like that took awhile to respond to my first message never responded to my second. Her loss
The bad news is that I'm realizing I've started focusing on this person and that I really want to focus on them. Which means I'm getting to do two break-up conversations this week.
Let's see if my really fucking spectacular luck holds!
I just hope I don't disappoint people too much. It's only been a couple months, I figure that's early enough that it shouldn't really tear anyone's heart out. Agh. I like the other two people so much, I just really don't feel like I'm as compatible across the board with them.
I drove to a Bikram yoga class last night. I thought it would be fun (if I don't die) and maybe a good place to meet people (when I've gone before it's mostly women), but when I got to the parking lot I chickened out and left. I'll try again this weekend.
I sent out a few messages, but didn't hear back on any of them yet. That's okay, I'm not chasing anyone. I'm trying to be open to whatever experiences come my way. I signed up for Match yesterday, mostly just to see if it's the same people. I got a message that "someone likes you", I can't remember if I even uploaded a picture yet. I went to log in and my account is blocked. I got an email that my profile was approved, but nothing about this. The site itself does seem to be shit compared to OKC. Maybe I'll give Tinder a shot? I thought it was just for hookups, but I'm old/wrong. Reading the thread it seems like just another online dating option.
Well, not yet anyway... But yeah, like all the single interest dating sites (farmers only, our time, j-date, black people meet, Christian mingle...) All owned by the same company.
The people I've been dating all took a little bit to get back to me about setting things up. The person I'm planning on being exclusive with was kind of up in the air about our first date until the day of when I double-checked the time and place. If they're interested, they'll get back to you. But they may not be checking OKC at work and have other things to do tonight at home or whatever.
I think you're right. I use the like function to mark people I might want to message. Once I send that first message I try to completely forget about it. If they respond, great. If not, it's just like any other attractive person I see during the day that I don't end up talking to. I kind of want to hide them once I've sent that message, but I don't know how that works. Is it like ignore? I don't want to miss a message or a like from them. I just feel my interaction with them is done unless they respond.
Is anybody using those super specific sites? Am I missing out on black jewish farmer ladies?
As I understand it, on OKC hide just stops them from showing in your searches and you from showing in theirs. If you message them they still see that and can respond / view your profile / etc.
Still, I don't like to hide someone I've messaged until I'm pretty sure they aren't going to message back (or things didn't work out).
I ain't complaining, but I also have no idea how the hell that happened cause neither of us were angling for it and it's not like there's a romantic bend to it. We just like hanging out, and apparently now with some physical stuff thrown in.
Whatevs, I ain't gonna turn down cuddles and smoochies as long as it doesn't get weird.
I rejoined the dating pool in 2012, after a long dysfunctional relationship. I went for the online dating thing for the same reasons I suspect most people do. I also came here for advice, and the advice I got here almost certainly led to my getting good results.
Things that worked for me:
The good results? I've been married for six months, after dating her for almost 2 years. I messaged her in January 2013, and didn't get a reply for a while. She did--FINALLY--in February, and we had our first date a week after valentines day. We had a tremendously positive first date--once she was teaching me kakuro over indian food (in the restaurant, despite some odd looks from other diners), I knew we were on the right track