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Penny Arcade - Comic - Mouth Crimes Department

2

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    KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Junior year history ap. I had to be a know it all and when the teacher asked me to teach world war 2 to the class I knew my endless playing of the aces over Europe and aces over the pacific games were about to pay off.

    Except flight sim games don't teach you about the difference between the Marianas Islands and marinara sauce. Especially when you have a fear of public speaking.

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
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    Andy JoeAndy Joe We claim the land for the highlord! The AdirondacksRegistered User regular
    When I was really little there was a time when I thought "boss" had a long "o". I also thought the "b" in "subtle" wasn't silent a good way through elementary school.

    XBL: Stealth Crane PSN: ajpet12 3DS: 1160-9999-5810 NNID: StealthCrane Pokemon Scarlet Name: Carmen
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    SWATrousSWATrous Registered User regular
    Ok, first: I used to think Fatigue went something like "Fatty-goo"

    Second: World of Tanks!? What bullshit. WAR THUNDER or go home in my book. WT ground battles does away with a lot of bullshit in WoT that ground my drive gears worse than an APBC shell through the tracks. The only complaint anyone seems to have is that some people (maybe most) downgrade graphics for advantage... whatever.

    War Thunder also has planes at the same time.

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    corinnetagscorinnetags Academic Williamsport, PARegistered User regular
    I always pronounced "lambast" like lamb-bast. Apparently I'm not only using the English spelling of the word (common American spelling is supposed to be lambaste, but I've never seen it spelled like that), it's supposed to be pronounced lamˈbæst, like you're basting lamb.

    To be fair, there's not a whole lot of times people use that word in everyday conversation. It's going to be difficult for me to change.

    Okay, 29 years old, former English major, almost done with a Ph.D. and apparently I just learned that I've been saying this word wrong in my head my whole life. Dammit.

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    BRASKYthatSOBBRASKYthatSOB Master (of Physics) AlaskaRegistered User regular
    BrettxPW wrote: »
    I might be the one person who doesn't give a shit about Pokemon. And yes, I do feel like I am on the outside looking in due to the amount of enthusiasm it generates in these here circles. I just don't get it.

    I'm with ya man. Sometimes I feel like I should make an effort to like it, but it's just never interested me.

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    StupidStupid Newcastle, NSWRegistered User regular
    BrettxPW wrote: »
    I might be the one person who doesn't give a shit about Pokemon. And yes, I do feel like I am on the outside looking in due to the amount of enthusiasm it generates in these here circles. I just don't get it.

    I'm with ya man. Sometimes I feel like I should make an effort to like it, but it's just never interested me.
    Add another. I came here to admit that I had to go to the internets to look up what the "proper" evolution of Squirtle was. I mean, as far as I know he could have said it was Xyxxg and I'd have been like, "Uhm, okay..." TIL that pokemon evolve.


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    Monkey Ball WarriorMonkey Ball Warrior A collection of mediocre hats Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    I played it a very small amount. I get its popularity, and yet I also see that it is not for me.

    "I resent the entire notion of a body as an ante and then raise you a generalized dissatisfaction with physicality itself" -- Tycho
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    fortyforty Registered User regular
    edited August 2015
    For a while I pronounced "adage" completely wrong because, thanks to music classes, I learned how to pronounce "adagio" first during my youth. Logically, I applied a similar pronunciation scheme to the similarly spelled "adage" (something like "ah-dah-zhay"). So I was generating a whole extra syllable in my version. Stupid music and stupid Italians.

    forty on
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    RatherDashing89RatherDashing89 Registered User regular
    There once was a lady from Slough
    Who had a most terrible cough
    She wasn't to know
    It would last until now
    Let's hope the poor girl will pull through.

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    bojac6bojac6 Registered User new member
    Fun fact: the term for this kind of confusion over pronounciation of words you have wrong because you have only ever seen them written down is a "Calliope." When referring to the musical instrument, it is pronounced "Ca-LIE-o-pee" but in this context you pronounce it "Cal-ee-ope" (rhymes with hope). I don't know how official this definition is, but I heard about it on NPR and it should be spread because this phenomenon obviously needs a term.

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    trident042trident042 Registered User regular
    I get to tell a story now. It's my time to shine!
    Some time ago, I was but a middle school nerdling, time at school spent largely between the computer lab (either utilizing the fledgling Newgrounds or interacting with a MUD) and the library, reading fare at and above my station. Thankfully, the library was populated with some Weiss/Hickman and I was in good shape.

    Talking, on the other hand, was at a minimum. So when drama happened with some upperclassmen - Freshmen! My lieges! - I was forced to employ the vocabulary I had cultivated up to that point, in full. I informed them that a thing I had been perceived as having done against them was not something I performed out of malice, or with malevolent intent.

    ..."We're sorry, what kind of intent?"

    Male. Volent.
    You know, like femalevolent. But for guys. Granted, I hadn't seen the latter in any text, but many fictional characters who are evil are also dudes, so it hadn't crossed my mind that it wasn't also a thing for the other gender.

    This signature now left intentionally blank.
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    Zilla360Zilla360 21st Century. |She/Her| Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered User regular
    For years, I used to pronounce 'Yacht' as 'Yackt' instead of 'Yot'.

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    wormspeakerwormspeaker Objectively Terrible Registered User regular
    edited August 2015
    wormspeaker was warned for this.
    I don't know who the dude with the nose ring is, but he has a very punchable face.

    Tube on
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    YoungFreyYoungFrey Registered User regular
    This reminds me a lot of the scene from Trekkies where the guy miss emphasizes 'adamant'.

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    HiroconHirocon Registered User regular
    Boston Keltics

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    MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    Eseell wrote: »
    I have heard this referred to as "childhood reader's disease." Having read words without ever hearing them pronounced.

    I used to call mosquitos "MOSS KWEE TOE" for this reason. I read a shit ton as a kid. I still sometimes mispronounce words.

    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
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    Devo27Devo27 Registered User new member
    I read https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7166/6826173149_5772f29dc2_b.jpg growing up, and was surprised to learn that Bert's character's name didn't rhyme with "Ben, a rope".

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    LinktmLinktm Registered User regular
    I feel Tycho's pain, I used to call "Anime" aNEEm, 'cuz I didn't know any better as a dumb 12 year old.

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    KamarKamar Registered User regular
    I've had plenty of experiences with childhood reader pronunciation over the years, but weirder than that was my discovery a year or two ago (I'm 25) that most people pronounce the 'd' in drain and the t in 'train' correctly.

    Whereas I've always, always done 'dr' as 'jr' and 'tr' as 'chr'. Like jrain and jraught and chrain and chransportation. Not something anyone notices unless I tell them to listen for it, but yeah.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Hirocon wrote: »
    Boston Keltics

    And the reverse of that: I answered a question in school about who was in Britain before the Romans with "The Selts".

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    ziddersroofurryziddersroofurry Registered User regular
    Lol
    Thanks to this thread I just found out I've been pronouncing Desi Arnaz's last name as 'Arnez' for the past 35 years. Boy do I feel dumb lol.

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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited August 2015
    Hirocon wrote: »
    Boston Keltics

    And the reverse of that: I answered a question in school about who was in Britain before the Romans with "The Selts".

    And likewise, the same football-loving housemates giving me a look like I'd just farted on their cereal when I dared address the Scottish football team as 'Keltic'.

    edit: also, after Tycho's post, I'm now pretty interested in World of Tanks. Didn't see that coming.

    darleysam on
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    LovelyLovely Registered User regular
    ................Well. Damn. I'm learning about so many words I mispronounce from this thread.

    I'm both thankful and hateful towards you all now.

    ;_;

    ("epitome" is in particular, blowing my mind. my apparently, dumb, little mind. ;_; . )

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    KeroanKeroan Chicago, IllinoisRegistered User regular
    If it makes Jerry feel any better, I used to pronounce meme as "meh-muh". I'm a french minor and apparently in my brain at the time I thought that it must be related to the word "même" which means "the same".

    French is a much fancier and lovelier way to pronounce prefixes and suffixes :)

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    metroidkillahmetroidkillah Local Bunman Free Country, USARegistered User regular
    Man, I feel super smart reading through all these posts. I may not know the definition of all the specified words or how to use them in a sentence, but by God, I know how to pronounce them!

    I'm not a nice guy, I just play one in real life.
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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Man, I feel super smart reading through all these posts. I may not know the definition of all the specified words or how to use them in a sentence, but by God, I know how to pronounce them!

    Check out Mr. "I speak to people on a regular basis" over here

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    SolventSolvent Econ-artist กรุงเทพมหานครRegistered User regular
    I always pronounced "lambast" like lamb-bast. Apparently I'm not only using the English spelling of the word (common American spelling is supposed to be lambaste, but I've never seen it spelled like that), it's supposed to be pronounced lamˈbæst, like you're basting lamb.

    To be fair, there's not a whole lot of times people use that word in everyday conversation. It's going to be difficult for me to change.

    Okay, 29 years old, former English major, almost done with a Ph.D. and apparently I just learned that I've been saying this word wrong in my head my whole life. Dammit.

    In fact, I'm having trouble accepting this. Have I really never heard that word used in conversation?

    As a child who read a lot of fantasy and yet grew up in a young and pretty much areligious country, it wasn't until my mid-teens that I got laughed at for mispronouncing 'monastery' (mon-AS-tery).

    I don't know where he got the scorpions, or how he got them into my mattress.

    http://newnations.bandcamp.com
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    SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    Oh! Also, one time in 10th grade english class reading aloud to everyone, I read cacophony as "kak-o-phoney"...

    What a fox pause

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    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    A recent revelation for me was "geoduck". It is not Jee Oh Duck.

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    homogenizedhomogenized Registered User regular
    edited August 2015
    Hahnsoo1 wrote: »
    A recent revelation for me was "geoduck". It is not Jee Oh Duck.
    I can thank Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe for teaching me there's an animal called a geoduck that looks nothing like a duck and whose name is not spelled like it's pronounced.

    As for my crime, I thought a house of ill repute was called a "braw-thELL".

    homogenized on
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    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    WRT to the newspost, I knew a LOT of people who said "melee" as "mealy", such that I thought it was an alternate pronunciation. I always used "may-lay" or "meh-lay", but I didn't think "mealy" was entirely wrong.

    Then there's "mana". "Mah-nah" or "man-nuh"? This was the basis of an hour-long argument at a comic book store that I witnessed back in 2000. :P

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    DodgeBlanDodgeBlan PSN: dodgeblanRegistered User regular
    I didn't get this comic because It didn't even occur to me that there was any way to misinterpret 'blastoise'. I came here to find out what the joke was.

    He's a tortoise for crying out loud!

    Read my blog about AMERICA and THE BAY AREA

    https://medium.com/@alascii
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    skim172skim172 Registered User regular
    edited August 2015
    Hahnsoo1 wrote: »
    A recent revelation for me was "geoduck". It is not Jee Oh Duck.

    But is it pronounced "gee-o-dude" or "goo-ee-dude"? :D


    Here's one that people can't agree on: How do you pronounce the name of the car company, "Hyundai"?
    If you're American, it's probably some variant of "HON-day". But if you're British, you think Americans are ignorant and you pronounce it as "hie-YOON-die". That's right - they can't even agree on the number of syllables. Then the American guy is insulted by the British snobbery, then the British guy gets snippy, and then someone brings up Iraq, and then WW2, and then football (no, it's soccer) (no, your football isn't football) and nothing productive is decided.


    Meanwhile, if you're Korean, you think both of those pronunciations are crazy.

    skim172 on
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    Grey PaladinGrey Paladin Registered User regular
    edited August 2015
    "Epi-tome"
    Well, I learned something today.

    Grey Paladin on
    "All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible." - T.E. Lawrence
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    metroidkillahmetroidkillah Local Bunman Free Country, USARegistered User regular
    Check out Mr. "I speak to people on a regular basis" over here

    Don't be jealous.

    But I admit that "geoduck" (mentioned by @Hahnsoo1) stumped me. How the hell does someone get "gooey-duck" from that spelling? I guess "geographical" is actually pronounced "gooey-graphical"? That's just unfair.

    I'm not a nice guy, I just play one in real life.
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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    skim172 wrote: »
    Hahnsoo1 wrote: »
    A recent revelation for me was "geoduck". It is not Jee Oh Duck.

    But is it pronounced "gee-o-dude" or "goo-ee-dude"? :D


    Here's one that people can't agree on: How do you pronounce the name of the car company, "Hyundai"?
    If you're American, it's probably some variant of "HON-day". But if you're British, you think Americans are ignorant and you pronounce it as "hie-YOON-die". That's right - they can't even agree on the number of syllables. Then the American guy is insulted by the British snobbery, then the British guy gets snippy, and then someone brings up Iraq, and then WW2, and then football (no, it's soccer) (no, your football isn't football) and nothing productive is decided.


    Meanwhile, if you're Korean, you think both of those pronunciations are crazy.

    Try aluminium. Which firefox is telling me I've spelled incorrectly. How droll.

    'Aloominum' my arse.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    darleysam wrote: »
    skim172 wrote: »
    Hahnsoo1 wrote: »
    A recent revelation for me was "geoduck". It is not Jee Oh Duck.

    But is it pronounced "gee-o-dude" or "goo-ee-dude"? :D


    Here's one that people can't agree on: How do you pronounce the name of the car company, "Hyundai"?
    If you're American, it's probably some variant of "HON-day". But if you're British, you think Americans are ignorant and you pronounce it as "hie-YOON-die". That's right - they can't even agree on the number of syllables. Then the American guy is insulted by the British snobbery, then the British guy gets snippy, and then someone brings up Iraq, and then WW2, and then football (no, it's soccer) (no, your football isn't football) and nothing productive is decided.


    Meanwhile, if you're Korean, you think both of those pronunciations are crazy.

    Try aluminium. Which firefox is telling me I've spelled incorrectly. How droll.

    'Aloominum' my arse.

    That's just its inventor dicking around with what to name it: Humphry Davy, chemist and linguistic flip-flopper

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    darleysam wrote: »
    skim172 wrote: »
    Hahnsoo1 wrote: »
    A recent revelation for me was "geoduck". It is not Jee Oh Duck.

    But is it pronounced "gee-o-dude" or "goo-ee-dude"? :D


    Here's one that people can't agree on: How do you pronounce the name of the car company, "Hyundai"?
    If you're American, it's probably some variant of "HON-day". But if you're British, you think Americans are ignorant and you pronounce it as "hie-YOON-die". That's right - they can't even agree on the number of syllables. Then the American guy is insulted by the British snobbery, then the British guy gets snippy, and then someone brings up Iraq, and then WW2, and then football (no, it's soccer) (no, your football isn't football) and nothing productive is decided.


    Meanwhile, if you're Korean, you think both of those pronunciations are crazy.

    Try aluminium. Which firefox is telling me I've spelled incorrectly. How droll.

    'Aloominum' my arse.

    That's just its inventor dicking around with what to name it: Humphry Davy, chemist and linguistic flip-flopper

    After reading that, I feel completely justified in defending that second 'i' to the death.

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    ShowsniShowsni Registered User regular
    MegaMan wrote: »
    Well for one thing, Dorchester has an H in it.

    Worcester would have originally been pronounced "Wor-cess-ter" with a soft C. Lose the R because of the British/New England accent, and say it fast. You get "Wusster". Easy.

    Same thing with the lesser-known Leicester, which we pronounce "Lester".

    Surely Leicester is more well known than Worcester?

    It's usually easy enough; without the h, -cester just becomes -ster:
    Gloucester, Worcester, Leicester, Bicester, Towcester.

    With an h, it's a clear -chester:
    Dorchester, Silchester, Chester, Rochester, Manchester.

    But then there's Cirencester to be the exception to the rule and confuse everyone.

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    fortyforty Registered User regular
    Check out Mr. "I speak to people on a regular basis" over here

    Don't be jealous.

    But I admit that "geoduck" (mentioned by @Hahnsoo1) stumped me. How the hell does someone get "gooey-duck" from that spelling? I guess "geographical" is actually pronounced "gooey-graphical"? That's just unfair.
    The shitty pronunciation is not even the worst thing about geoduck. The worst thing is that it looks like a clam with a giant dick. Also I assume it tastes bad. Just a terrible animal in every sense.

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