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[Marvel MCU] punch your friend in the face if he spoils Civil War [NO SPOILERS]

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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    That was Captain America #350 where a few pages earlier Red Skull was killing a bunch of people dressed up like Captain America for his morning workout, and then he tricks a wounded USAgent (who was Captain America at the time) into fighting Captain America (who was The Captain at the time) and then they fight and it's all because of that stupid shield and then Red Skull shows up and he's all smoking's a drag because that smoke has death dust on it but USAgent threw the shield at Red Skull before he could blow it in Cap's face and then his face melts and becomes like normal Red Skull again and then USAgent is tired of being told to act like Captain America because he's super better so he gives Steve Rogers back the costume.

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    FakefauxFakefaux Cóiste Bodhar Driving John McCain to meet some Iraqis who'd very much like to make his acquaintanceRegistered User regular
    TexiKen wrote: »
    That was Captain America #350 where a few pages earlier Red Skull was killing a bunch of people dressed up like Captain America for his morning workout, and then he tricks a wounded USAgent (who was Captain America at the time) into fighting Captain America (who was The Captain at the time) and then they fight and it's all because of that stupid shield and then Red Skull shows up and he's all smoking's a drag because that smoke has death dust on it but USAgent threw the shield at Red Skull before he could blow it in Cap's face and then his face melts and becomes like normal Red Skull again and then USAgent is tired of being told to act like Captain America because he's super better so he gives Steve Rogers back the costume.

    Yup. Sure is.

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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    I liked it when The Captain saved the kid from the bus and also saved the apple pie too.

    The good old days when Cap wasn't a sanctimonious jerk self insert for writers.

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    FakefauxFakefaux Cóiste Bodhar Driving John McCain to meet some Iraqis who'd very much like to make his acquaintanceRegistered User regular
    TexiKen wrote: »
    I liked it when The Captain saved the kid from the bus and also saved the apple pie too.

    The good old days when Cap wasn't a sanctimonious jerk self insert for writers.

    I dunno, those good old days had their drawbacks. USAgent, for example.

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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    DELIBERATE LIE AND PROVOCATION, SIR!

    usagentbetterthanchina_zpsaa0z7rdm.jpg

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    FakefauxFakefaux Cóiste Bodhar Driving John McCain to meet some Iraqis who'd very much like to make his acquaintanceRegistered User regular
    e6hs1wxj7wl6.jpg

    Ah yes, good ol' abortion hating, violent right-wing extremist sympathizing, anti-sex education John Walker. Classy guy.

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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    And then he goes undercover and sees them take his stances to the extreme, and then he wonders if it was all a test to see how far he'll go to be Captain America and twisting his beliefs against him. And then later he kills all the Watchdogs anyway because they killed his parents because they're assholes!

    See, at least Walker has flaws (and he knows it), that's how you build a character. The best character ever. Outside of Cyclops.

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    FakefauxFakefaux Cóiste Bodhar Driving John McCain to meet some Iraqis who'd very much like to make his acquaintanceRegistered User regular
    edited May 2016
    TexiKen wrote: »
    See, at least Walker has flaws (and he knows it), that's how you build a character. The best character ever. Outside of Cyclops.

    I guess that's why USAgent is still so popular and headlines so many titles. Oh wait, nobody remembers he exists.

    Fakefaux on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    Marvel's just afraid he'll draw too much spotlight from the other Captain America losers, because then they'd have to kill Steve Rogers with a time bullet again to make him relevant.

    Anyway ok this delightful detour has gone on long enough back to whitewashing and blaming Tony for everything or whatever was happening.

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    Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited May 2016
    That was Nuke, the Daredevil villain turned Wolverine villain.

    (Nuke actually cut off USAgent's hand and leg in a super cheap sucker punch move with an Asgardian weapon after USAgent totes beat the shit out of him during Siege)

    edit: also USAgent would never have frosted tips for hair.

    TexiKen on
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    Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    edited May 2016
    It sounds like USAgent gets his ass handed to him by actual superhero's rogues galleries a lot.

    Regina Fong on
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    FakefauxFakefaux Cóiste Bodhar Driving John McCain to meet some Iraqis who'd very much like to make his acquaintanceRegistered User regular
    There have been so many evil Captain America knockoffs.

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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    It sounds like USAgent gets his ass handed to him by actual superhero's rogues galleries a lot.

    It's the Guy Gardner effect, you have a new character who's super better than the original but the writers love the original so much they have to upstage the upstart by having him not be super kewl in their battles and have the bad guy beat them up to show how super awesome Hal Jordan is at everything. It's like what they did with War Machine and Thunderstrike. hell, War Machine is rumored to die in Civil War 2 just because he's expendable in the grand scheme of things. And USAgent has beaten up Ronan before and some alien cthullu Mighty Max alien things when he was space cop Judge Dredd so he's not always stupid writer whipping boy, because Kurt Busiek and Jerry Ordway are saints.
    Fakefaux wrote: »
    There have been so many evil Captain America knockoffs.

    Protocide would be a really good second string villain to use in a MCU movie, another Crossbones if God forbid Marvel actually looked outside of Brubaker's run for a second.

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    FakefauxFakefaux Cóiste Bodhar Driving John McCain to meet some Iraqis who'd very much like to make his acquaintanceRegistered User regular
    TexiKen wrote: »
    Fakefaux wrote: »
    There have been so many evil Captain America knockoffs.

    Protocide would be a really good second string villain to use in a MCU movie, another Crossbones if God forbid Marvel actually looked outside of Brubaker's run for a second.

    Man, I was genuinely a little excited when before they announced Civil War and did that Serpent Society fakeout.

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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    Fakefaux wrote: »
    TexiKen wrote: »
    Fakefaux wrote: »
    There have been so many evil Captain America knockoffs.

    Protocide would be a really good second string villain to use in a MCU movie, another Crossbones if God forbid Marvel actually looked outside of Brubaker's run for a second.

    Man, I was genuinely a little excited when before they announced Civil War and did that Serpent Society fakeout.

    Dude, I know, right? As a super fan of Gruenwald's run, Serpent Society would have been sweet to see onscreen.

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    AlphaRomeroAlphaRomero Registered User regular
    Just saw it, brilliant film. I rarely geek out but I freaked when
    Ant Man turned into Giant Man, and I was genuinely shocked that the 1991 Winter Soldier target turned out to be Stark's parents, making the division real, far more real than the Accords, and it makes Helmut's plan (while less stylish than a guy in a mask with a sword), the most effective plan really so far. Loki ended up creating the Avengers, Helmut managed to end them.

    What I didn't like was the hoop jumping to make the Libor thing Wanda's fault, and the Vision in general being a huge tool and far more destructive than any of the Avengers. He is pro-Accord and fucking lasers an airport in half just to create an obstruction. He is the biggest liability they have. I don't care about War Machine at all, he's a crap Iron Man knock off at the best of times, the actor has zero presence to elevate it.

    Love Cap, love Winter Soldier, Spider-Man was fun. Sad Hulk didn't turn up.

    Brilliant, brilliant film, the team behind it and Winter Soldier are so far beyond what DC is doing and Whedon's AoU, and they're the perfect people to helm Infinity War.

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    FakefauxFakefaux Cóiste Bodhar Driving John McCain to meet some Iraqis who'd very much like to make his acquaintanceRegistered User regular
    edited May 2016
    Just saw it, brilliant film. I rarely geek out but I freaked when
    Ant Man turned into Giant Man, and I was genuinely shocked that the 1991 Winter Soldier target turned out to be Stark's parents, making the division real, far more real than the Accords, and it makes Helmut's plan (while less stylish than a guy in a mask with a sword), the most effective plan really so far. Loki ended up creating the Avengers, Helmut managed to end them.

    What I didn't like was the hoop jumping to make the Libor thing Wanda's fault, and the Vision in general being a huge tool and far more destructive than any of the Avengers. He is pro-Accord and fucking lasers an airport in half just to create an obstruction. He is the biggest liability they have. I don't care about War Machine at all, he's a crap Iron Man knock off at the best of times, the actor has zero presence to elevate it.

    Love Cap, love Winter Soldier, Spider-Man was fun. Sad Hulk didn't turn up.

    Brilliant, brilliant film, the team behind it and Winter Soldier are so far beyond what DC is doing and Whedon's AoU, and they're the perfect people to helm Infinity War.

    Wrong thread, dude. There's a dedicated CW thread now.

    Fakefaux on
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    AlphaRomeroAlphaRomero Registered User regular
    Redirects here matey.

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    Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/204740/captain-america-civil-war-ecks-vs-sever/p1

    This is the thread for people who have already seen the film. It's still spoiler tag required. This thread is simply not for people who have seen the film at this time unless they avoid discussing this film to talk about other Marvel things. Per the mods.

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    Last SonLast Son Registered User regular
    edited May 2016
    forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/204740/captain-america-civil-war-ecks-vs-sever

    url tags are apparently broken? But thats the address.

    Last Son on
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    Dr. ChaosDr. Chaos Post nuclear nuisance Registered User regular
    edited May 2016
    Didn't they basically have USAgent on Jessica Jones?
    It was Nuke and don't remind me.

    Just going to quietly pray a much better version will pop up down the line in Daredevil where the character belongs.

    Dr. Chaos on
    Pokemon GO: 7113 6338 6875/ FF14: Buckle Landrunner /Steam Profile
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    AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    One more question about Age of Ultron...

    Why did Thor blast the cradle with lightning? Did he know what was going to happen, or was he trying to destroy it? Set aside the idea that blasting experimental computer machinery with fucking lightning is going to do something constructive in the first place, because apparently somehow it did.

    That whole scene just didn't make any goddamn sense to me.

    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
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    Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    One more question about Age of Ultron...

    Why did Thor blast the cradle with lightning? Did he know what was going to happen, or was he trying to destroy it? Set aside the idea that blasting experimental computer machinery with fucking lightning is going to do something constructive in the first place, because apparently somehow it did.

    That whole scene just didn't make any goddamn sense to me.

    His vision sequence, if we'd been allowed to see the whole thing, would have clarified this. But he wasn't trying to break it (and knew that nothing he could do would destroy the infinity stone regardless) he was helping to birth Vision.

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    AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    What the hell made him think that lighting + electronics = Partially Organic AI Robot Man? How did he know that would work? Who would ever think that would work? Victor Thorenstein over here.

    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
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    ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning LoserdomRegistered User regular
    It's based on Tony's tech.

    Tony's tech apparently has significant amounts of redundant capacitors, if rather than being damaged by a lightning strike, it gets charged up 400%+ power it.

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    jdarksunjdarksun Struggler VARegistered User regular
    What the hell made him think that lighting + electronics = Partially Organic AI Robot Man? How did he know that would work? Who would ever think that would work? Victor Thorenstein over here.
    The Norns (cut magic bathtub scene) + the whatever gem in his forehead.

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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    TexiKen wrote: »
    DELIBERATE LIE AND PROVOCATION, SIR!

    usagentbetterthanchina_zpsaa0z7rdm.jpg

    Whoever's doing the punching, fuck that guy

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    MorkathMorkath Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2016
    Collective Man, I believe he has the strength of every person in China or something.

    e:
    Oh wait, thought you meant who punched the shield to destroy it like that. Not USAgent.

    Morkath on
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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    Yeah Agent. Screw that guy and his great man theories.

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    Psychotic OnePsychotic One The Lord of No Pants Parts UnknownRegistered User regular
    Screw that. US Agent is the man. Even crippled in the ending of Dark Reign he becomes the Warden of the Raft and don't you dare try to escape
    1778857-us_agent_4.jpg

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    Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
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    Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    One more question about Age of Ultron...

    Why did Thor blast the cradle with lightning? Did he know what was going to happen, or was he trying to destroy it? Set aside the idea that blasting experimental computer machinery with fucking lightning is going to do something constructive in the first place, because apparently somehow it did.

    That whole scene just didn't make any goddamn sense to me.

    Quicksilver pulled the power, Thor's vision had, well, the Vision in it and he says he knew they'd need the power of the Mind Stone to stop Ultron so he completes the process to make the Vision as a means of harnessing the Mind Stone.

    Also, US Agent is an asshole, but damn people, get him some cyborg limbs or something.

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    MorkathMorkath Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    One more question about Age of Ultron...

    Why did Thor blast the cradle with lightning? Did he know what was going to happen, or was he trying to destroy it? Set aside the idea that blasting experimental computer machinery with fucking lightning is going to do something constructive in the first place, because apparently somehow it did.

    That whole scene just didn't make any goddamn sense to me.

    Quicksilver pulled the power, Thor's vision had, well, the Vision in it and he says he knew they'd need the power of the Mind Stone to stop Ultron so he completes the process to make the Vision as a means of harnessing the Mind Stone.

    Also, US Agent is an asshole, but damn people, get him some cyborg limbs or something.

    "Uh, thanks for helping saving the world over several occasions, but uh. No one likes you so...I mean we are out of all cybernetic replacements. Yep, completely out. worldwide. Sorry. Here's a crappy hospital wheelchair or whatever, good luck!"

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    Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    Morkath wrote: »
    One more question about Age of Ultron...

    Why did Thor blast the cradle with lightning? Did he know what was going to happen, or was he trying to destroy it? Set aside the idea that blasting experimental computer machinery with fucking lightning is going to do something constructive in the first place, because apparently somehow it did.

    That whole scene just didn't make any goddamn sense to me.

    Quicksilver pulled the power, Thor's vision had, well, the Vision in it and he says he knew they'd need the power of the Mind Stone to stop Ultron so he completes the process to make the Vision as a means of harnessing the Mind Stone.

    Also, US Agent is an asshole, but damn people, get him some cyborg limbs or something.

    "Uh, thanks for helping saving the world over several occasions, but uh. No one likes you so...I mean we are out of all cybernetic replacements. Yep, completely out. worldwide. Sorry. Here's a crappy hospital wheelchair or whatever, good luck!"

    They don't want to be guilty of disability erasure is all.

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    Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    he had cyborg limbs! He had them! Then he decided they were unnatural, or cyborg limbs weren't sufficiently capable of acting like a dick, or something, and he got rid of them

    NREqxl5.jpg
    it was the smallest on the list but
    Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
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    reVersereVerse Attack and Dethrone God Registered User regular
    he had cyborg limbs! He had them! Then he decided they were unnatural, or cyborg limbs weren't sufficiently capable of acting like a dick, or something, and he got rid of them

    What a douche.

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    Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    I don't remember what the actual reason was if we're being honest, but there was a whole story arc in dark avengers where he had his body rebuilt, and then for some reason in thunderbolts he decided to go back to being in a wheelchair

    NREqxl5.jpg
    it was the smallest on the list but
    Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
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    Harry DresdenHarry Dresden Registered User regular
    TexiKen wrote: »
    And then he goes undercover and sees them take his stances to the extreme, and then he wonders if it was all a test to see how far he'll go to be Captain America and twisting his beliefs against him. And then later he kills all the Watchdogs anyway because they killed his parents because they're assholes!

    See, at least Walker has flaws (and he knows it), that's how you build a character. The best character ever. Outside of Cyclops.

    You'll like Civil War, MCU Cap has flaws there.

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    Harry DresdenHarry Dresden Registered User regular
    TexiKen wrote: »
    That was Captain America #350 where a few pages earlier Red Skull was killing a bunch of people dressed up like Captain America for his morning workout, and then he tricks a wounded USAgent (who was Captain America at the time) into fighting Captain America (who was The Captain at the time) and then they fight and it's all because of that stupid shield and then Red Skull shows up and he's all smoking's a drag because that smoke has death dust on it but USAgent threw the shield at Red Skull before he could blow it in Cap's face and then his face melts and becomes like normal Red Skull again and then USAgent is tired of being told to act like Captain America because he's super better so he gives Steve Rogers back the costume.

    Captain America 4: This Time It's Personal. (I'm being serious here, Marvel do it!)

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