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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    you're not my real dad

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    Morning, compadres

    ?donde estan los breakfast tacos?

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    you're not my real dad

    *Dramatically brands envelope from health clinic*

    Sure about that?

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    TraceTrace GNU Terry Pratchett; GNU Gus; GNU Carrie Fisher; GNU Adam We Registered User regular
    I was gonna go with

    "They call it a Royale with [chat]"

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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular




    @spool32

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Amazon Chat Rep: First, please allow me to extend a sincere apology for the inconvenience this matter has caused.
    I will do my best to help you.
    Amazon Chat Rep: Thanks for your patience <Drez>, I have checked your order details. I totally agree with you, being a prime member you should expect the product by Friday, July 29, 2016. However I see that the product is getting delayed by carrier. I apologize on behalf of carrier.
    I will contact carrier on your behalf and trust me I am not going to leave them until they deliver this item.
    Please accept my sincerest apologies for all the trouble you've had to go through. I realize that this has caused utter disappointment on your part. To say that this is an inconvenience would be a complete understatement.

    The level of prostration they are throwing at me would be funny if this wasn't the tenth time I've heard this in the last 9 months.

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Atomika wrote: »
    Morning, compadres

    ?donde estan los breakfast tacos?

    Yo quiero taco bell

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    DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Holy shit.

    Amazon Chat Rep: Yes, <Drez>. The delay is totally not acceptable and I will make them to deliver the product today by end of the day. as a token of apology I would like provide you with some discount on the product to compensate inconvenience.


    "I will MAKE THEM deliver it today."

    (In this case "them" is UPS.)

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited July 2016
    Drez wrote: »
    Holy shit.

    Amazon Chat Rep: Yes, <Drez>. The delay is totally not acceptable and I will make them to deliver the product today by end of the day. as a token of apology I would like provide you with some discount on the product to compensate inconvenience.

    "I will MAKE THEM deliver it today."

    (In this case "them" is UPS.)

    Oh hey, they came off script there.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Alfonso Cuarón

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    rockrngerrockrnger Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    Holy shit.

    Amazon Chat Rep: Yes, <Drez>. The delay is totally not acceptable and I will make them to deliver the product today by end of the day. as a token of apology I would like provide you with some discount on the product to compensate inconvenience.


    "I will MAKE THEM deliver it today."

    (In this case "them" is UPS.)

    For some reason I am hearing this in the "righteous fury knight voice"

    This slight shall not be born! On my fathers grave I swear you shall be avenged this day.

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    DrezDrez Registered User regular
    rockrnger wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Holy shit.

    Amazon Chat Rep: Yes, <Drez>. The delay is totally not acceptable and I will make them to deliver the product today by end of the day. as a token of apology I would like provide you with some discount on the product to compensate inconvenience.


    "I will MAKE THEM deliver it today."

    (In this case "them" is UPS.)

    For some reason I am hearing this in the "righteous fury knight voice"

    This slight shall not be born! On my fathers grave I swear you shall be avenged this day.

    That's how I read it too, lol.

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
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    ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
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    MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Holy shit.

    Amazon Chat Rep: Yes, <Drez>. The delay is totally not acceptable and I will make them to deliver the product today by end of the day. as a token of apology I would like provide you with some discount on the product to compensate inconvenience.

    "I will MAKE THEM deliver it today."

    (In this case "them" is UPS.)

    Oh hey, they came off script there.

    Well the make them feels off script, but Amazon has been cool and helps a lot with discounts if shit goes south.

    u7stthr17eud.png
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    Grape ApeGrape Ape Registered User regular
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Holy shit.

    Amazon Chat Rep: Yes, <Drez>. The delay is totally not acceptable and I will make them to deliver the product today by end of the day. as a token of apology I would like provide you with some discount on the product to compensate inconvenience.

    "I will MAKE THEM deliver it today."

    (In this case "them" is UPS.)

    Oh hey, they came off script there.

    Well the make them feels off script, but Amazon has been cool and helps a lot with discounts if shit goes south.

    It's just mostly funny when a non native English speaker jumps off script in customer service because you start going "no wait.. what?"

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    TraceTrace GNU Terry Pratchett; GNU Gus; GNU Carrie Fisher; GNU Adam We Registered User regular
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    Donkey KongDonkey Kong Putting Nintendo out of business with AI nips Registered User regular
    rockrnger wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Holy shit.

    Amazon Chat Rep: Yes, <Drez>. The delay is totally not acceptable and I will make them to deliver the product today by end of the day. as a token of apology I would like provide you with some discount on the product to compensate inconvenience.


    "I will MAKE THEM deliver it today."

    (In this case "them" is UPS.)

    For some reason I am hearing this in the "righteous fury knight voice"

    This slight shall not be born! On my fathers grave I swear you shall be avenged this day.

    I get that reading too, but what gets me more is that this is learned behavior. The Amazon script almost certainly doesn't go full ham, keeper of oaths, defender of the package delivery time. These reps have learned to play it up because customers like it and think it's genuine. This is what your aunt wants to hear. This is what your cousin wants to hear when he contacts Amazon. So they do it even though it's a farce, and take in the sweet, sweet performance metrics.

    Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
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    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    Finally someone has brought me an adequate number of Lokos!

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    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    edited July 2016
    Good morning!

    Would your day be better if you were able to listen to Werner Herzog say the word, "Pokemon?" I can't imagine how it wouldn't be.

    Six on
    can you feel the struggle within?
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    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    Six wrote: »
    Good morning!

    Would your day be better if you were able to listen to Werner Herzog say the word, "Pokemon?" I can't imagine how it wouldn't be.


    Not two days in a row. No.

    steam_sig.png
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    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    Also I'm reporting in from the waiting room of the Italian Consulate in NYC. Because of Italian efficiency and organization, this is the fifth time I've been here in the last 15 months attempting to accomplish the same task. Will this be the magical day? I don have my hopes up, but we will see!

    can you feel the struggle within?
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    STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    Six that was posted last night. You are posting recycled content and thus you will be... "recycled"

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    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    ronya wrote: »

    so she made that song when she was 40?

    what a world

    steam_sig.png
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    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    i hear all of Six's posts in Calculon's voice

    it works out pretty well

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    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    Oh.

    :(

    can you feel the struggle within?
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    STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    Six wrote: »
    Oh.

    :(

    Them's the rules.

    Maybe Seven will not fail us.

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    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    i'm going to go see the new stars track in 3D

    what should i know

    steam_sig.png
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    Harry DresdenHarry Dresden Registered User regular
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    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    Six wrote: »
    Oh.

    :(

    Them's the rules.

    Maybe Seven will not fail us.

    My cat was named Seven.

    She is dead.

    can you feel the struggle within?
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    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    i hear all of Six's posts in Calculon's voice

    it works out pretty well

    David Duchovny?

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    BEAST!BEAST! Adventurer Adventure!!!!!Registered User regular
    i just NAILED small talk in the kitchen area at work

    and by nailed it i mean i came out of it feeling like a conversation god despite only responding to a coworker that i was doing "not so bad" followed by asking her how she was

    dfzn9elrnajf.png
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    TTODewbackTTODewback Puts the drawl in ya'll I think I'm in HellRegistered User regular
    helo chat
    how do you feel about


    Tangerines.

    Bless your heart.
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    Blameless ClericBlameless Cleric An angel made of sapphires each more flawlessly cut than the last Registered User regular
    It rained last night so all the benches by the bus stop are wet, but one lone dude was sitting on one

    He got up and left and I have taken the dry spot he created


    Ty that guy's butt

    Orphane wrote: »

    one flower ring to rule them all and in the sunlightness bind them

    I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
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    Blameless ClericBlameless Cleric An angel made of sapphires each more flawlessly cut than the last Registered User regular
    TTODewback wrote: »
    helo chat
    how do you feel about


    Tangerines.

    Love em

    Orphane wrote: »

    one flower ring to rule them all and in the sunlightness bind them

    I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
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    TTODewbackTTODewback Puts the drawl in ya'll I think I'm in HellRegistered User regular
    It rained last night so all the benches by the bus stop are wet, but one lone dude was sitting on one

    He got up and left and I have taken the dry spot he created


    Ty that guy's butt

    #DatAss saves the day

    Bless your heart.
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    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    TTODewback wrote: »
    helo chat
    how do you feel about


    Tangerines.

    While I appreciate the increased visibility for the community, I kind wish they'd tell more stories about trans women that weren't sex workers.

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    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    BEAST! wrote: »
    i just NAILED small talk in the kitchen area at work

    and by nailed it i mean i came out of it feeling like a conversation god despite only responding to a coworker that i was doing "not so bad" followed by asking her how she was

    This social butterfly

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    Donkey KongDonkey Kong Putting Nintendo out of business with AI nips Registered User regular
    edited July 2016
    Ars Technica has a write up about the new Bourne movie:
    While bouncing her signal from roughly seven other nations, she downloads every file that has anything to do with the secret programs Bourne had been connected to. Conveniently, her download is immediately noticed by a massive CIA war room, at which point the whole scene erupts in shouting and '90s cybercrime gobbledygook.
    Once she's in the phone, she uses its wireless communications to somehow break down the laptop's firewalls (which are denoted by three red bars on a giant CIA screen, meaning, three firewalls, of course).

    Jesus Christ. @Organichu if you pay a cent to go see this turd I swear to god I will urinate in every beverage you drink for a month. And I'll be feasting on asparagus the whole time.

    Donkey Kong on
    Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
This discussion has been closed.