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Bad Food "Thread": Things Man Was Not Meant To Digest

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Posts

  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Here is my special tomato pasta sauce tip: chuck a couple of anchovies into the mix while you're doing the other aromatics. And a bit of smoked paprika as well, right before you put the liquids in (paprika only needs a few seconds to season in hot oil).

    A Dabble Of TheloniusLalaboxlonelyahava
  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    and if you don't eat anchovies for any reason, you can use any sort of dashi or miso paste. Just like a spoonful.

  • m!ttensm!ttens Registered User regular
    Marmite also works well as a umami booster.

  • Indie WinterIndie Winter spookiest birb Registered User regular
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    I would probably buy those slim james.

    webguy20DouglasDangerShorty
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    I would probably buy those slim james.

    Use the offer code 'MyBrother' to get $5 off your first month. Slim James will be delivered right to your door every month. Choose the 5 or 7 piece plan and also receive a recipe card with each order.

    Excision wrote: »
    My girlfriend is going down tonight!

    Steam:MichaelLC
    cabsyNightDragon
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    I still find it funny there is little difference between a slim jim and dog treats
    Only crude fiber is the difference and it's in dog treats

    A.jpg
    DouglasDangerMego Thor
  • chromdomchromdom That One Oh yeah, I movedRegistered User regular
    Bad food thread: I have an issue with mayonnaise, and find myself needing to make some homemade.
    Anyone have a good recipe or resource for homemade mayo?

    I can lay my hands on all the usual ingredients. Only equipment I have is a blender.

    Oh ya, I still give him some, just he goes savage on it, doesn't with any other food, little cannibal
  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    chromdom wrote: »
    Bad food thread: I have an issue with mayonnaise, and find myself needing to make some homemade.
    Anyone have a good recipe or resource for homemade mayo?

    I can lay my hands on all the usual ingredients. Only equipment I have is a blender.

    I can't remember the exact details, but my family always did it with a whisk, some egg yolks, a steady drip of olive oil, and eventually some dill, lemon, mustard and salt and pepper.

    The whole thing is about putting the egg yolks into a bowl (preferably a whisking bowl,which has a slightly different shape), then add drops of the olive oil at a time. Literally a drop or two at any one time, and then keep on whisking. If you can, preferably chill the olive oil before hand.

    If it starts to seperate, you put another yolk into a different bowl, and start adding the seperated mix to it bit by bit, whisking the whole time. You know it's done when it goes pale, but hasn't separated.

    Then, you add a tablespoon of mild mustard, preferably dijon or english, the juice of half a lemon, a big pinch of chopped dill, and salt and pepper.


    I will admit that even i haven't quite mastered this, and it's a real difficult process that requires a whole lot of whisking. And i still haven't figured out when the seperation point is.

    But it's real tasty. We make it for when we have prawns. Just a whole bag of the little suckers, you just peel em and dip them.

  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular

    I can't decide if it should have been Slim Jameses or if that would have been just a little bit too much

    chillaxton.jpg
    we gonna be alright
  • GrobianGrobian What's on sale? Pliers!Registered User regular
    Fwiw I just followed an online recipe for mayo (probably Jamie Oliver or something else high in the Google results) and it was super easy. I didn't even do very careful drops of oil because I'm impatient and it worked perfectly. I just poured in big gulps.

    Whisk eggs, add other ingredients (mustard, vinegar, lemon in some quantities), add oil while whisking.

    I think the important thing is to get good ingredients, especially the oil and eggs. The oil will heavily influence the taste of the mayo so get some that isn't overpowering. Iirc I used linseed oil since my mayo was for potato salad.

    IBHz8.png1dUCx.png
    V1m
  • JedocJedoc That citation you've neededRegistered User regular
    edited March 19
    Shorty wrote: »

    I can't decide if it should have been Slim Jameses or if that would have been just a little bit too much

    Huh. You know, if you'd asked me before, I would have been pretty sure that the Slim Jim logo was plural. Like, not sure enough to go all Mandela on it, but if we were arguing about it in a bar I might have grasped you by the sleeve and urgently asked you to explain why they'd have an off-balance logo when it would be so easy to make both words have four letters.

    Jedoc on
    cannon.jpg
  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    edited March 19
    Lalabox wrote: »
    chromdom wrote: »
    Bad food thread: I have an issue with mayonnaise, and find myself needing to make some homemade.
    Anyone have a good recipe or resource for homemade mayo?

    I can lay my hands on all the usual ingredients. Only equipment I have is a blender.

    I can't remember the exact details, but my family always did it with a whisk, some egg yolks, a steady drip of olive oil, and eventually some dill, lemon, mustard and salt and pepper.

    The whole thing is about putting the egg yolks into a bowl (preferably a whisking bowl,which has a slightly different shape), then add drops of the olive oil at a time. Literally a drop or two at any one time, and then keep on whisking. If you can, preferably chill the olive oil before hand.

    If it starts to seperate, you put another yolk into a different bowl, and start adding the seperated mix to it bit by bit, whisking the whole time. You know it's done when it goes pale, but hasn't separated.

    Then, you add a tablespoon of mild mustard, preferably dijon or english, the juice of half a lemon, a big pinch of chopped dill, and salt and pepper.


    I will admit that even i haven't quite mastered this, and it's a real difficult process that requires a whole lot of whisking. And i still haven't figured out when the seperation point is.

    But it's real tasty. We make it for when we have prawns. Just a whole bag of the little suckers, you just peel em and dip them.

    The mustard should go in at the start. It's there for the lecithin, which helps the mayo bind.

    Add lemon juice along the way to manage the texture, as the mayo can become unmanageably thick.
    I think the important thing is to get good ingredients, especially the oil and eggs. The oil will heavily influence the taste of the mayo so get some that isn't overpowering. Iirc I used linseed oil since my mayo was for potato salad.

    100% agreed. This is one occasion when super duper flavourful olive oil is not always the answer, you kind of want to match the oil to the intended purpose. My go-to oil for straight up "man I think we should make some reallly good BLTs" sandwich mayo is cold-pressed rapeseed (I think you guys call it canola?) oil, which gives the mayo a lovely rich yellow colour, and a very slightly buttery flavour. If I was making the mayo for a potato salad that I was gonna serve alongside grilled sardines, I would use grapeseed oil with ~1/4 or ~1/3 good EV olive oil.

    V1m on
    tynicchromdom
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    I am truly an intercontinental man.

    Made Italian cheese quesadillas; Mexican cheese, cut up pepperoni, with a side of pasta sauce for dipping.

    3h2f51rweacl.jpg

    Excision wrote: »
    My girlfriend is going down tonight!

    Steam:MichaelLC
    DouglasDangerKwoarucabsyZonugalNightDragonKaplarCommander ZoomSlacker71JimothylonelyahavaMego ThorPOKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN
  • JedocJedoc That citation you've neededRegistered User regular
    Piccola torta di formaggio.

    cannon.jpg
    MichaelLCSlacker71
  • see317see317 Taco Count 2017: 39 Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Piccola torta di formaggio.

    "Grilled cheese sandwich"?

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger Registered User regular
    I made an omelet with leftover St Patrick's Day food

    Corned beef

    Grilled red potatoes

    Carrots

    I had cabbage too, but I left that out

    It was pretty good

    I play games on ps3 and ps4. My PSN is DouglasDanger.
    MichaelLCdestroyah87cabsyA Dabble Of TheloniusCommander ZoomSlacker71lonelyahava
  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    I still find it funny there is little difference between a slim jim and dog treats
    Only crude fiber is the difference and it's in dog treats

    The one thing I will always remember about Slim Jims is that one of the ingredients is "mechanically separated chicken". This has been in my head for over 10 years because that's not the kind of thing you easily forget.

    Despite years and years of therapy.

    rotate.php TumblrLink.gif
  • NoisymunkNoisymunk Registered User regular
    Chicken Nuggets are mechanically separated chicken.

    brDe918.jpg
    tynicSlacker71chrishallett83ZonugalNaphtaliKwoaru
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    most fast food chicken things are.

    BahamutZERODouglasDangercabsyCommander ZoomSlacker71V1mchrishallett83SorceStraightziBrainleechbowenmasterofmetroidZonugalsarukunNaphtaliAndy JoeShortyRhesus Positive
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    Well you want to separate the chickens from the turkeys, and you don't want to hire PEOPLE to do that, do you?

    NightDragontynicAndy Joe
  • NoisymunkNoisymunk Registered User regular
    I'm imagining those two spooky NES robot lookin' things from Inside with the harpoons doing this job.

    brDe918.jpg
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    I find how chicken broth and a few other chicken related items are made far more interesting than mechanically separated chicken.

    A.jpg
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Do mechanically separated chickens lay electric eggs?

    Excision wrote: »
    My girlfriend is going down tonight!

    Steam:MichaelLC
    UbikAndy Joe
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Do mechanically separated chickens lay electric eggs?

    Yes.

    Slacker71
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    End chicken segregation now.

  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Made beef bourguignon yesterday.

    This goes in the bad food thread because holy shit, there's an entire bottle of wine in that dish

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
    cabsy
  • sarukunsarukun Mr. Bulldopps Get SchwiftyRegistered User regular
    Karl wrote: »
    Made beef bourguignon yesterday.

    This goes in the bad food thread because holy shit, there's an entire bottle of wine in that dish

    Did you use boxed wine or something?

  • RobonunRobonun 94 Painful Thorn Enlightens the Slothful Registered User regular
    I feel as if I should resign from the Bad Food thread. Lately anything I eat that is the slightest bit greasy results in blasts of anal fury 1-2 hours after consumption. I'll have to limit myself to creating bad food instead of eating it.

  • azith28azith28 Registered User regular
    chromdom wrote: »
    Bad food thread: I have an issue with mayonnaise, and find myself needing to make some homemade.
    Anyone have a good recipe or resource for homemade mayo?

    I can lay my hands on all the usual ingredients. Only equipment I have is a blender.

    jar of vegtable oil + raw egg + blender = Mayo.

    steam_sig.png

    This is like a opossum overlord, the alpha-rodent from which all other rodents were wrought. In the beginning there was darkness, dirt, and this thing. God said "Let there be light" and even he jumped when he saw this fucking thing.


    Proud to be the 7,867th backer on @BackerKit for Kingdom Death: Monster 1.5 | Thx @kingdomdeath! https://backerkit.com/projects/poots/kingdom-death-monster-15/backers/6875612
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    Made beef bourguignon yesterday.

    This goes in the bad food thread because holy shit, there's an entire bottle of wine in that dish

    Did you use boxed wine or something?

    Nah, I used a £6 bottle of Bordeaux

    I'm just not used to using so much booze in a dish. I mean yeah, some red wine in my spag bol sauce. But that's a glug at the most.

    Really good though

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
  • POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMANPOKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN i can make this march and i will make georgia howlRegistered User regular
    dinner last night:

    can of pepper sardines

    used some of the oil to fry a few eggs

    ate all that with some crackers and a coors light right there in the kitchen

    exquisite

    vQ77AtR.png
    steam | xbox live: IGNORANT HARLOT | psn: MadRoll | nintendo network: spinach
    3ds: 1504-5717-8252
    A Dabble Of Theloniusdestroyah87DouglasDangercabsySlacker71jgeisZonugalKaplar
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    I tried the bacon jam. It was smoked applewood bacon in a shitload of brown sugar and some other sugar-a-like. It tasted nothing like bacon and the texture was like sticky bacon bit sand in jelly.

    It went into the garbage.

    camo_sig2.png
    PSN: AuthorFrost
    mageofstorm.png
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter spookiest birb Registered User regular
    listen

    try Baconnaise

    It's actually really quite good

    RCmKIvs.gif
    indie_winter on PS4 | @indiewinter on twitter
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger Registered User regular
    dinner last night:

    can of pepper sardines

    used some of the oil to fry a few eggs

    ate all that with some crackers and a coors light right there in the kitchen

    exquisite

    Dang

    I meant to buy some sardines and i forgot

    I've never had them

    I play games on ps3 and ps4. My PSN is DouglasDanger.
    POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN
  • POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMANPOKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN i can make this march and i will make georgia howlRegistered User regular
    'dinis are simultaneously gross and delicious, and they're actually good for you! the ones packed in olive oil are generally the best quality but if you decide to get some in hot sauce or mustard they're usually still nice

    vQ77AtR.png
    steam | xbox live: IGNORANT HARLOT | psn: MadRoll | nintendo network: spinach
    3ds: 1504-5717-8252
    DouglasDanger
  • BlankzillaBlankzilla KOOKABUNGA LIVES Registered User regular
    Tried a local sandwich shop chain for the first time

    I had THE BEEFEATER

    Honey Potato Bread, Sliced Sirloin Steak, Provolone Cheese, Grilled Potatoes, Grilled Onions

    It was

    so good

    VcdvAHn.png?1
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    ShortyJedocDouglasDangerPOKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMANRorshach Kringlecabsywebguy20Zonugalchromdomdestroyah87lonelyahavasarukunCommander ZoomSorceMrGrimoire
  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Grobian wrote: »
    Fwiw I just followed an online recipe for mayo (probably Jamie Oliver or something else high in the Google results) and it was super easy. I didn't even do very careful drops of oil because I'm impatient and it worked perfectly. I just poured in big gulps.

    Whisk eggs, add other ingredients (mustard, vinegar, lemon in some quantities), add oil while whisking.
    Karl wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    Made beef bourguignon yesterday.

    This goes in the bad food thread because holy shit, there's an entire bottle of wine in that dish

    Did you use boxed wine or something?

    Nah, I used a £6 bottle of Bordeaux

    I'm just not used to using so much booze in a dish. I mean yeah, some red wine in my spag bol sauce. But that's a glug at the most.

    Really good though

    You realise all the alcohol is gone by the time it's cooked right?

    That's why you buy two bottles.







    (each)

    chrishallett83POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited March 21
    V1m wrote: »
    You realise all the alcohol is gone by the time it's cooked right?

    this is a myth, fyi.

    #pipe on
    destroyah87Straightzichrishallett83PoketpixieMadicanSlacker71
  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    It's all dependent on the recipe (and the amount of alcohol) in the end, as some things you're doing with alcohol will largely cook out, and others will not

    But even then, it's never entirely gone, it's just down to an insignificant enough quantity that it probably doesn't matter

    sarukunShorty
This discussion has been closed.