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[Cards Against Humanity] Bad things come in threes.

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Posts

  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Since I'm posting from the UK, I feel compelled to support those left behind in 1997 #HandoverNotReturn #NeverForget
    The socialist governments of Scandinavia have declared that access to Asian girls with names like "Christina" or "Elizabeth" is a basic human right.

    elvenshae2_zps569236d5.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The FATE of the Rebellion PBP
    FotR on Obsidian Portal
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @Anialos only disappointment is that it is 'or,' not 'and.'

    Round 10: But wait, there's more! If you order _____ in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in _____ absolutely free!

    @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero

    There has to be a better way!

    There+has+to+be+a+better+way+2+4_c16c39_5563974.gif

    ElvenshaeAnialosLucedes
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited March 10
    @Anialos owns a slap-chop and a sham-wow so he is an authority on the subject:

    But wait, there's more! If you order A visually arresting turtleneck in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in The haunting stare of an Iraqi child absolutely free! (Megafrost)
    But wait, there's more! If you order The new Radiohead album in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in Erotic balloon animals absolutely free! (Gizzy)
    But wait, there's more! If you order My vagina in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in A woman scorned absolutely free! (Zombie Hero)
    But wait, there's more! If you order That thing on the Internet that everyone's talking about in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in Shiny objects absolutely free! (MrTLicious)
    But wait, there's more! If you order The scientific method in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in 3.7 billion years of evolution absolutely free! (Elvenshae :star: )
    But wait, there's more! If you order Menstrual rage in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in An M16 assault rifle absolutely free! (Cythraul)
    But wait, there's more! If you order A Bop It in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in An overwhelming variety of cheeses absolutely free! (TheRoadVirus)

    chamberlain on
    Elvenshae
  • AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Ask me about them!Registered User regular
    I'm imagining an infomercial using Trumplethinskin's flailings as the intro to the classic, "There's got to be a better way!"

    But wait, there's more! If you order The scientific method in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in 3.7 billion years of evolution absolutely free!

    Hobnail wrote: »
    "Don't let bullets enter your body" is the kind of advice that just gives itself really, like "don't drink soy sauce" or "don't vote republican"
    Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @Elvenshae made a long term investment in evolution. So far it has paid off.

    Round 11: What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town?

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero

    See side quests in ever Final Fantasy for examples.

    Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited March 10
    I heard that @Elvenshae just loves fetch quests. And that his favorite Final Fantasy was X-2.

    What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? Synergistic management solutions. (Zombie Hero :star: )
    What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? Hitler? Hitler! Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler. (Megafrost)
    What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? A double murder suicide barbeque. (TheRoadVirus)
    What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? Disco fever. (Cythraul)
    What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? Stormtroopers. (Anialos)
    What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? Zatopeepee, the Blind Fucksman. (MrTLicious)
    What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? Your bourgeois morality. (Gizzy)

    chamberlain on
    ElvenshaeTheRoadVirus
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? Synergistic management solutions.

    They're trying to actualize a paradigmatic shift, proactively process engineering a win-win vis-a-vis outside-of-the-box living-challenged persons!

    elvenshae2_zps569236d5.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The FATE of the Rebellion PBP
    FotR on Obsidian Portal
    TheRoadVirusLostNinja
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    I don't what that means but I have a feeling that a whole lot of people are about to lose their jobs/homes something. @Zombie Hero wins and gets to keep his stuff!

    Round 12: You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on _____, and then there's some stuff about _____, and then it ends with _____.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus

    Please wait for an additional card before sending me your choices. Need to make sure you have adequate choices to describe this crazy ass movie.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Holy shit, these are good so far.

    No pressure.
    PRESSURE!

    ElvenshaeCythraulTheRoadVirus
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited March 13
    Good luck @Zombie Hero Good luck.

    You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on A thirsty, sperm-jacking wanna-be baby mama, and then there's some stuff about Bees? and then it ends with Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry. (Cythraul :star: )
    You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on A sexy naked interactive theater thing, and then there's some stuff about Gandalf, and then it ends with Auschwitz. (Elvenshae)
    You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on the majestic Gremlin with britches so fluffy they add new meaning to the cats pajamas, and then there's some stuff about Being a dick to children, and then it ends with Pooping in public. (Gizzy)
    You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on Low-hanging fruit, and then there's some stuff about Paying the iron price, and then it ends with The taste of human flesh. (Anialos)
    You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on Gilbert Gottfried's voice, and then there's some stuff about A supermassive black hole, and then it ends with JJ Abrams putting lens flares all over everything. (TheRoadVirus)
    You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on A special snowflake, and then there's some stuff about The economy, and then it ends with Golden showers. (MrTLicious)
    You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on Acknowledging that none of the dreams that you had as a child have come true, and then there's some stuff about Self-loathing, and then it ends with Burning Man. (Megafrost)

    chamberlain on
    MegafrostCythraulAnialosElvenshaeTheRoadVirusGizzyOatsMatev
  • MegafrostMegafrost Leader of the Decepticons Registered User regular
    Wow. This round.

    CythraulAnialosElvenshaeTheRoadVirusGizzyOats
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, y'all.

    elvenshae2_zps569236d5.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The FATE of the Rebellion PBP
    FotR on Obsidian Portal
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
  • Zombie HeroZombie Hero Registered User regular
    Man, this round. I'm going to go with the bees one.

    Steam
    Nintendo ID: Pastalonius
    Smite\LoL:Gremlidin \ WoW & Overwatch & Hots: Gremlidin#1734
    3ds: 3282-2248-0453
    MrTLicious
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited March 13
    I laughed when @Cythraul got both of those 'bee' cards within a few rounds of one another. 'What is he going to do with those,' I thought. Well. He is going to win.

    Round 13: We never did find _____, but along the way we sure learned a lot about _____.

    @Anialos @Elvenshae @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero

    Those after school specials may not have been as innocent as you remember.

    chamberlain on
    Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited March 14
    This was the plot of at least one of the National Treasure movies, right @Cythraul ?

    We never did find Cock, but along the way we sure learned a lot about Being a motherfucking box. (Zombie Hero)
    We never did find Robin Thicke, but along the way we sure learned a lot about Ejaculating inside another man's wife. (Gizzy :star: )
    We never did find Don Cherry's wardrobe, but along the way we sure learned a lot about Copping a feel. (Megafrost)
    We never did find Vegetarian options, but along the way we sure learned a lot about Extremely tight pants. (Anialos)
    We never did find Cocktimus Prime: the laser-guided dildo rocket, but along the way we sure learned a lot about Powerful thighs. (Elvenshae)
    We never did find A Category 5 assnado, but along the way we sure learned a lot about Bouncing up and down. (TheRoadVirus)
    We never did find Mr. Right Now, but along the way we sure learned a lot about Old-people smell. (MrTLicious)

    chamberlain on
    ElvenshaeTheRoadVirus
  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    Ejaculating inside another man's wife sure sounds like Blurred Lines were crossed, mirite??

    MrTLicious wrote:
    I'm done.

    (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
    TheRoadVirus
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited March 14
    I think the real question is why was @Gizzy looking for Robin Thicke in the first place.

    Round 14: MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _____.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero

    Next on the The Real World - Season 24: Who even gives a fuck anymore.

    chamberlain on
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    (To the tune of 'My Sharona')

    doo doo DOO DOO doo DOO
    doo DOO doo doo DOO
    doo doo DOO DOO doo DOO

    HEEEEEY @Anialos

    TheRoadVirusElvenshae
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus The DM with the plan... that is sure to be ruined soon Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Ooh my little pretty one
    Pretty one
    When you gonna give me your CARD, NOW ANI?

    TDPforum.png
    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    Elvenshae
  • AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Ask me about them!Registered User regular
    I already subbed my card,
    Subbed my card,
    I'm just waiting on you @chamberlain .

    Hobnail wrote: »
    "Don't let bullets enter your body" is the kind of advice that just gives itself really, like "don't drink soy sauce" or "don't vote republican"
    TheRoadVirus
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited March 15
    And I sang and everything.

    Anialos is not the guilty party, it is Cythraul. Regardless, the show must go on! @Gizzy Break a leg, or some other hollywood cliche:

    MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny. (Zombie Hero)
    MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with Placenta polenta. (Megafrost)
    MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with Type 2 diabetes. (MrTLicious)
    MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with One Direction. (Anialos)
    MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with Kale farts. (Elvenshae)
    MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with Britney Spears at 55. (TheRoadVirus :star: )

    chamberlain on
    ElvenshaeTheRoadVirus
  • GizzyGizzy <- girl PhoenixRegistered User regular
    I would totally watch the one with Britney Spears

    3DS Friend Code 3282-2248-0453
    Gizzy's Amazon Xmas Wishlist
    TheRoadVirus
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @TheRoadVirus wins a guest spot on the show.

    And with that we have reached round 15! Time to ditch your shit cards. Post your most useless ones in the thread and I will replace them with slightly less useless cards.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @Zombie Hero

  • Zombie HeroZombie Hero Registered User regular
    I would like to scrap:

    A emergency root canal
    Wiggling
    The third trimester
    All of the good times and premium gaming entertainment available to you in the Kickstarter room.

    Steam
    Nintendo ID: Pastalonius
    Smite\LoL:Gremlidin \ WoW & Overwatch & Hots: Gremlidin#1734
    3ds: 3282-2248-0453
    TheRoadVirusElvenshae
  • MrTLiciousMrTLicious Registered User regular
    The safe word.
    Hey, fuck you buddy.
    One trillion dollars.
    Kale.
    Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends."
    Generally having no idea of what's going on.

    TheRoadVirusElvenshae
  • MrTLiciousMrTLicious Registered User regular
    I have never played with discards. I'm guessing this leads to another cosmic truth:

    The best card to play for the current round is the one you just voluntarily gave away.

    Zombie HeroTheRoadVirusElvenshaeOatsLucedesMatev
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus The DM with the plan... that is sure to be ruined soon Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    I would like to play turbo roulette and discard MY ENTIRE HAND

    Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.
    Sir Thomas More's Fruitopia.
    Super yoga.
    Crawling into a vagina.
    Carribbean Jesus.
    A cooler full of organs.
    Wifely duties.
    Dick nipples.
    Africans, the racist white kind.
    A man-shaped box.

    TDPforum.png
    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    ElvenshaeAnialos
  • Zombie HeroZombie Hero Registered User regular
    Sir Thomas More's Fruitopia is an amazing card.

    Steam
    Nintendo ID: Pastalonius
    Smite\LoL:Gremlidin \ WoW & Overwatch & Hots: Gremlidin#1734
    3ds: 3282-2248-0453
    TheRoadVirus
  • MrTLiciousMrTLicious Registered User regular
    Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.

    This came up in my first game with the black card "What does Dick Cheney prefer?" and has forever since been my gaming group's trump card.

    TheRoadVirus
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus The DM with the plan... that is sure to be ruined soon Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    That is true! But I'm a loose cannon.

    Danger to the precinct

    Gun and badge

    New partner

    Two weeks from retirement

    TDPforum.png
    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    Elvenshae
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    A sexually aggressive koala.
    Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.
    Doo-doo.
    Wil Wheaton crashing an actual spaceship.
    The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.
    A box that is conscious and wishes it weren't a box.
    Ghosts.
    Lucky Pierre.

    elvenshae2_zps569236d5.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The FATE of the Rebellion PBP
    FotR on Obsidian Portal
    TheRoadVirus
  • GizzyGizzy <- girl PhoenixRegistered User regular
    I'm also going to toss my whole hand:

    Flop sweat.
    Battlefield amputations.
    Spending lots of money.
    A balanced breakfast.
    Slowly waving an oversized Jamaican flag.
    Snorting coke off a clown's boner.
    Failing the Turing test.
    Embryonic stem cells.
    Japanese rope technique.
    A really bad yeast infection.

    3DS Friend Code 3282-2248-0453
    Gizzy's Amazon Xmas Wishlist
    TheRoadVirus
  • MegafrostMegafrost Leader of the Decepticons Registered User regular
    I'm going to ditch... not quite the entire hand, but almost:

    An icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker.
    Chasing waterfalls.
    Swallowing a cue ball.
    Peeing a little bit.
    Sharia law.
    Muhammed (Praise Be Unto Him).
    Anything with a hole.
    Clamping down on a gazelle's jugular and tasting its warm life waters.
    Spiking the juice at AA.

  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    The color "puce".
    Some shit-hot guitar licks.
    Bristol Palin.
    Chesticles.
    A box that is conscious and wishes it weren't a box.

    And whoops on missing last round! On a road trip for work, busy drinking in Vancouver :D

    MrTLicious wrote:
    I'm done.

    (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Just waiting on @Anialos discards, if any.

    And I checked three fucking times to make sure he didn't post them yet.

    TheRoadVirus
  • MrTLiciousMrTLicious Registered User regular
    You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on a man-shaped box, and then there's some stuff about being a motherfucking box, and then it ends with a box that is conscious and wishes it weren't a box

    ElvenshaeGizzyTheRoadVirusCythraul
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    How'd you and I end up with the same card, Cyth? I smell SHENANIGANS!

    elvenshae2_zps569236d5.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The FATE of the Rebellion PBP
    FotR on Obsidian Portal
    Cythraul
  • AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Ask me about them!Registered User regular
    Begone foul cards!

    Three hairs from the silver-golden head of Galadriel.
    The echoing silence left by SIDS.
    A web of lies.
    Moral ambiguity.
    The harsh light of day.
    Tongue.
    The Chronicles of Red-Dick.

    Hobnail wrote: »
    "Don't let bullets enter your body" is the kind of advice that just gives itself really, like "don't drink soy sauce" or "don't vote republican"
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    How'd you and I end up with the same card, Cyth? I smell SHENANIGANS!

    Nothing nearly that interesting: I just never scrubbed my list of white cards for duplicates. It was compiled from several places so there is some overlap. Though I did shuffle the cards via RNG and the fact that all those stupid box cards ended up so close together is disconcerting.

    Elvenshae
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