Hey-oo friends, this here is a place to discuss Trump's cabinet picks, both confirmed and awaiting. Avoid deviating into a general Trump Administration thread, as that will almost certainly get us locked and I will be super sad about that.
TRUMP'S CABINET SO FAR:
, Secretary of Education and despoiler of our children's future.
, Attorney General and Lost Cause fetishist. Hates weed, literally all transfolk, transfolk who use weed, most Central and South American immigrants, immigrants who smoke weed, and
the Ku Klux Klan
white people who smoke weed.
, Secretary of State and former ExxonMobil CEO who is totally not a close friend of Vladimir Putin you guys.
, Secretary of Defense and annoyed by the fact that everyone in the Pentagon jokingly refers to him as "Mad Doggie Dogg".
, Secretary of Transportation and noted turtle fancier.
, Director of the CIA and likely searching through your internet history as you read this.
, Secretary of Homeland Security and paranoid that all taco trucks in America contain Al Qaeda terrorists (they don't).
, US Ambassador to the United Nations and former governor of the objectively lesser of the two Carolinas.
, Secretary of the Treasury and totally gives all other Steves a bad name.
, head of the Environmental Protection Agency and former recurrent villain on the popular 1990s children's cartoon show Captain Planet.
, Secretary of Veterans Affairs and person about whom I do not have a witty comment prepared.
, Secretary of Commerce and infamous robber baron the likes of which not seen since the days of Upton Sinclair.
, Secretary of the Interior and probably felt Brokeback Mountain robbed of the Best Picture Oscar of 2005 by that insufferable pile of celluloid known as Crash.
, Director of the Department of House and Urban Development. Alleged plans post-confirmation include having grain storage pyramids build near all major metropolitan centers in America.
, Secretary of Health and Human Services. Once attached a skeleton to a patient's existing skeleton, thus creating a Super Skeleton
. The patient later had the extra skeleton removed, becoming a Normal Skeleton once more.
, Secretary of Energy, former governor of
Texas and failed Dancing With the Stars contestant.
, Director of the Office of Management and Budget who probably throws pennies off of overpasses because chaos amuses him.
TRUMP'S CABINET THAT HAS NOT BEEN CONFIRMED BUT PROBABLY WILL BE BECAUSE WHO ARE WE KIDDING:
Andrew Pudzer, presumptive Secretary of Labor and former CEO of a bunch of mediocre fast food restaurants most famous for making people poop entire bricks of self-loathing shortly after consuming their products.
, presumptive Secretary of Labor and one-time former competitor for the title of "GOP Teen Heart-Throb King" along side "Little" Marco Rubio, Paul "Gun Show" Ryan, and Eric "Representative Starscream" Cantor.
, presumptive Secretary of Agriculture and possibly the lesser evil of the two Perdues currently serving in the US Senate (though only the future knows if that will hold true).