Answers to "Would you much prefer to date someone of your own race?"
Might be a thing you rank higher on your importance scale
Already set to "very important" or whatever the highest is. I need a setting called "deal breaker" where answers apart from my own hide profiles from each other
Tonight my partner and I had a nice little dinner date night for the first time in a fair while.
I played chicken with a bowl of ridiculously spicy beef ramen and lost all proper feeling in my mouth, while she cheered me on.
Then we got gelato for dessert, because gelato is her Happy Place Food (and also because I needed something to fight the small volcanic pit eating its way through my stomach).
It was a simple refreshing night and I think we both needed it. A+
I know how crushes are but it's probably good to give her a little space right now. Once she gets a little more stable footing she might reach out to you and you can go from there.
Until then, just relax! Deep breaths and all that. It's not a race.
Those kinds of feeling for your ex probably aren't just going to disappear over night. Those things take quite a bit of time to dull. As for the crushes, best I can recommend (as somebody that that happens to a lot as well) is just keep treating them like people and not try and put them up on a pedestal. Those feelings are usually pretty fleeting and if you go about your day they'll usually resolve themselves. If they don't then yeah, you'll probably need to talk to the other person about it.
Or do what I do and run away from your problems and never grow as a person!
I'm just not sure what to do with all these unresolved feelings
I have this ridiculous crush that waxes and wanes on a very good friend of mine who is also a co-worker that I'll never do anything about
I still have feelings for the lady from January and February who just wasn't that into me
I even still have some kind of feelings for my ex wife, despite the toxicity and jealousy and accusations and everything
I guess I'm ready to and eager to be someone to some body
Sounds like you are over thinking this stuff. You may want to take a break and just focus on yourself. Maybe exercise or do some physical activity that will tire your body out if you can't settle your brain. You may be surprised what a couple months will do for your perspective if you can spend them not actively pursuing a relationship.
Really getting back into 40k just the modeling and painting has helped me from getting very bored and distracted from the shit I deal with at work {I know I am away from the toxic managers yay so I just with a with a bully of a supervisor now and back to the meat grinder of employment}
I know I crave social interaction but finding friends and others with similar interests is really hard now
Suppression doesn't really work in the long run. Sometimes you just gotta work through the feelings. Spend some time feeling shitty about things that you know will never be. If you don't let that stuff out it'll never go away, but if you actually just open up to it, it can fade. Source: have had impossible crushes. Have gotten, if not entirely over them, at least to a point where they no longer affect my mood or day-to-day life in any way.
Suppression doesn't really work in the long run. Sometimes you just gotta work through the feelings. Spend some time feeling shitty about things that you know will never be. If you don't let that stuff out it'll never go away, but if you actually just open up to it, it can fade. Source: have had impossible crushes. Have gotten, if not entirely over them, at least to a point where they no longer affect my mood or day-to-day life in any way.
I know being left alone with some of the things I really don't want to remember sucks
having to work through that was really ugly as I avoided a lot of fellow vets for various reasons
it's useful to compare your self-image and inner monologue with the feedback others give you on exhibited behaviors and attitudes.
maybe everyone else is just wrong about what you really feel and think, but if these are people you otherwise trust, it's worth looking at how and what you are expressing to others. it can be a holdover from old habits and you need to work on living your ideology, or it could be a blind spot (the self-suppression others are mentioning) coming out as unconscious, unintentional signals.
the beau and i had a good Friday night
he spontaneously ordered a Switch (i am not entirely pleased at the early adoption, but that is one of his things he do, owell)
and we jaunted over to a taco place we've been meaning to try forever, picking up Zelda on the way
sat on the patio -- beautiful night and a little booze, and just chilled
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Doug I'm not so sure you've chilled out so much as your anxiety blows out and the resulting gulf or lack of frenetic apprehension tricks you into thinking you're calm.
Doug I'm not so sure you've chilled out so much as your anxiety blows out and the resulting gulf or lack of frenetic apprehension tricks you into thinking you're calm.
Doug I'm not so sure you've chilled out so much as your anxiety blows out and the resulting gulf or lack of frenetic apprehension tricks you into thinking you're calm.
yeah, "relaxed chilled out zombie" reads as an oxymoron to me.
i can tell you that when i actually feel at peace, it is very different from an apathetic haze, or the exhaustion of overwhelmed anxiety.
it can be frustrating for people to tell you you're not calm, but that frustration generally occurs because it is the kind of calm that you cannot summon at will. if you feel defensive about it, self-assess.
and for exercise to summon calm, yo, meditation is the booooooooomb. it's not about making your brain empty or attaining enlightment, but training yourself to slow down. being aware of how your thoughts affect you --physically, mentally, emotionally-- and deciding what to do about them, instead of feeling prey to them. one of the concepts that stuck with me is that the cycle of getting distracted and returning to concentration is the practice -- the end goal is being able to catch yourself more often.
I don't know if the thread where I post about my lack of love life is the total DD... life mind wellness picture thing, but yall have given me a lot of things to think about, and I'm grateful for all of you.
the beau and i had a good Friday night
he spontaneously ordered a Switch (i am not entirely pleased at the early adoption, but that is one of his things he do, owell)
and we jaunted over to a taco place we've been meaning to try forever, picking up Zelda on the way
sat on the patio -- beautiful night and a little booze, and just chilled
it's really great to be with someone on the same wavelength
I have lots of friends gettin married or starting a family and shit. My long-time friend and roommate moved with his girlfriend to Dallas to basically be a stay at home boyfriend right now until he finds something (his GF is an actuary and is making texa$ right now so they're good) and another friend from high school is having a baby, another friend's GF wants to get married sometime in the near future once they move in together (they've been together about 1/4th as long as my SO and I)
and my girlfriend and I are like
nah
fuck kids
we ain't into that anytime soon
marriage?
pfft, who cares we together don't need no fuckin ring right now and besides that shit is expensive and we're about to be long distance for awhile longer and just nah
just the kind of relationship where we gossip about other people and don't care about other's judgments
don't ask me why it took us so long. there is no good reason.
from one visit, it is pretty much the platonic ideal of a grungy neighborhood taco joint. the queso is totes Velveeta/Rotel level, but sometimes that's what you want; Fonda San Miguel it ain't.
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Might be a thing you rank higher on your importance scale
we're all dads on the inside
I got my love of bad puns from my dad. Checks out.
Already set to "very important" or whatever the highest is. I need a setting called "deal breaker" where answers apart from my own hide profiles from each other
That question is a great way to identify potential Nazi sympathizers.
EDIT: If the respondent is white, of course.
I care because I don't want to date someone who answers "Yes".
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
My ex actually foiled this one when I was trying to cheer her up - "what's a zippo?"
I played chicken with a bowl of ridiculously spicy beef ramen and lost all proper feeling in my mouth, while she cheered me on.
Then we got gelato for dessert, because gelato is her Happy Place Food (and also because I needed something to fight the small volcanic pit eating its way through my stomach).
It was a simple refreshing night and I think we both needed it. A+
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Also, she's have an awful time, and working a ton, I think, and apologized to me yesterday via messenger
I told her hey that's ok, I am very sorry you are having a rough time, I'm here if you need to talk
but it was just one message again, and then silence
So I guess it's silly that when I saw a message from her on my phone I got all giddy and my heart was in my throat for a minute
And then I felt really awful that she's having a such a rough time and here I am trying to date her when she's going through shit
So I guess the I'm here if you want to talk thing is just there, and I'll try to chill out
I know how crushes are but it's probably good to give her a little space right now. Once she gets a little more stable footing she might reach out to you and you can go from there.
Until then, just relax! Deep breaths and all that. It's not a race.
I have this ridiculous crush that waxes and wanes on a very good friend of mine who is also a co-worker that I'll never do anything about
I still have feelings for the lady from January and February who just wasn't that into me
I even still have some kind of feelings for my ex wife, despite the toxicity and jealousy and accusations and everything
I guess I'm ready to and eager to be someone to some body
Or do what I do and run away from your problems and never grow as a person!
I have tried to find faults and whatever to get her off this pedestal and it works for a bit, but it came back three times now
Twice, I thought she was sort of feeling it too, and twice I didn't say anything
And if these forums show up when I self-google, I will take this post down
Sounds like you are over thinking this stuff. You may want to take a break and just focus on yourself. Maybe exercise or do some physical activity that will tire your body out if you can't settle your brain. You may be surprised what a couple months will do for your perspective if you can spend them not actively pursuing a relationship.
Dude have you considered like taking some time to be somebody to yourself?
Feelings are just feelings, they don't mean you gotta do anything with them.
I was very lonely in the final years of my marriage and thought I had myself figured out
I've got a good group of friends, I've got some new hobbies, my jobs ok, but I have applied to some others and gotten interviews and stuff
I don't know if anyone's every really content with everything
I do need to chill out, I guess, or something, but I kinda felt like a relaxed chilled out zombie for a long time and I am ready for something
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I know I crave social interaction but finding friends and others with similar interests is really hard now
Dude, lonely is an internal function--other people cannot solve your lonely.
Learn to be happy being by yourself.
Not all the time, we all need variety, but damn it is super important
I know being left alone with some of the things I really don't want to remember sucks
having to work through that was really ugly as I avoided a lot of fellow vets for various reasons
Ah, a succinct summary of my feels
maybe everyone else is just wrong about what you really feel and think, but if these are people you otherwise trust, it's worth looking at how and what you are expressing to others. it can be a holdover from old habits and you need to work on living your ideology, or it could be a blind spot (the self-suppression others are mentioning) coming out as unconscious, unintentional signals.
apparently not because no one will do stuff with me!
the beau and i had a good Friday night
he spontaneously ordered a Switch (i am not entirely pleased at the early adoption, but that is one of his things he do, owell)
and we jaunted over to a taco place we've been meaning to try forever, picking up Zelda on the way
sat on the patio -- beautiful night and a little booze, and just chilled
This seems possible as well
i can tell you that when i actually feel at peace, it is very different from an apathetic haze, or the exhaustion of overwhelmed anxiety.
it can be frustrating for people to tell you you're not calm, but that frustration generally occurs because it is the kind of calm that you cannot summon at will. if you feel defensive about it, self-assess.
and for exercise to summon calm, yo, meditation is the booooooooomb. it's not about making your brain empty or attaining enlightment, but training yourself to slow down. being aware of how your thoughts affect you --physically, mentally, emotionally-- and deciding what to do about them, instead of feeling prey to them. one of the concepts that stuck with me is that the cycle of getting distracted and returning to concentration is the practice -- the end goal is being able to catch yourself more often.
What taco place?
it's really great to be with someone on the same wavelength
I have lots of friends gettin married or starting a family and shit. My long-time friend and roommate moved with his girlfriend to Dallas to basically be a stay at home boyfriend right now until he finds something (his GF is an actuary and is making texa$ right now so they're good) and another friend from high school is having a baby, another friend's GF wants to get married sometime in the near future once they move in together (they've been together about 1/4th as long as my SO and I)
and my girlfriend and I are like
nah
fuck kids
we ain't into that anytime soon
marriage?
pfft, who cares we together don't need no fuckin ring right now and besides that shit is expensive and we're about to be long distance for awhile longer and just nah
just the kind of relationship where we gossip about other people and don't care about other's judgments
also we've been together almost 5 years now what
don't ask me why it took us so long. there is no good reason.
from one visit, it is pretty much the platonic ideal of a grungy neighborhood taco joint. the queso is totes Velveeta/Rotel level, but sometimes that's what you want; Fonda San Miguel it ain't.