To be honest, there's a lot of really stupid advice on this thread which seems to be based largely on stereotypes and come from people with absolutely zero experience: for example, those saying that she is looking for a 'daddy' (highly unlikely, especially if you are 22), or that 'you know what will happen if she accidentally gets pregnant' (doesn't follow at all, as if having a child couldn't, y'know, change someone's future choices).
Take a hard look at yourself, like you said, and ask if you are prepared for this situation. If you think you might have problems, at the very least be honest about it with the girl from the beginning, and let her decide.
And just for all of you that were concerned about her being at the party while having a child - the daddy takes it every other weekend (except this weekend, they are switching because next weekend is mother's day).
So the kid has his actual father as a father figure. That's cool.
In that light, it's a very good thing you didn't let this intimidate you. Sounds like you can have fun together without being quite so concerned about the future.
Single moms want to have carefree sex now and then too.
Is this all Grundl wants though? I can't quite tell from reading his post. He mentions that he's not sure he wants a relationship at this point but then says he really misses having a girl to wake up beside.
Grundl, if you just want booty call thing going, you might be able to get it to work assuming that the girl knows you have absolutely no interest in taking things any farther than mutual orgasms.
If you want an actual relationship (which you don't sound like you do) but you're not ready to deal with kids... well it's a no brainer to advise you not to pursue her.
If you want a friends with benefits sort of thing, where you can talk and hang out and have sex without any of the obligations of being a partner, then you have to prepare yourself for some sort of interaction with her child. Think of it this way. Even if you were only friends with the girl (no sex at all, just a friend), you'd probably still have some sort of relationship with her kid. Being friends, there would be times where you'd go over to her house and hang out, which likely means her kid will be present. You'd be known as Uncle Grundl.
So it stands to reason that if you want to be friends AND want to have sex with her, that you'll have the same sort of connection as a normal friend would. You won't have as much responsibility as say a boyfriend (and therefore potential father) would have but you will be Uncle Grundl nonetheless and that entails SOME obligations on you, just like it would on any other of the girl's friends.
Kids are affected by the people that are around them. They learn/imitate behaviours from adults, whether consciously or not. So if you're spending time with the mother, chances are that you'll have some sort of impression on the child.
Posts
https://medium.com/@alascii
Take a hard look at yourself, like you said, and ask if you are prepared for this situation. If you think you might have problems, at the very least be honest about it with the girl from the beginning, and let her decide.
So the kid has his actual father as a father figure. That's cool.
In that light, it's a very good thing you didn't let this intimidate you. Sounds like you can have fun together without being quite so concerned about the future.
Is this all Grundl wants though? I can't quite tell from reading his post. He mentions that he's not sure he wants a relationship at this point but then says he really misses having a girl to wake up beside.
Grundl, if you just want booty call thing going, you might be able to get it to work assuming that the girl knows you have absolutely no interest in taking things any farther than mutual orgasms.
If you want an actual relationship (which you don't sound like you do) but you're not ready to deal with kids... well it's a no brainer to advise you not to pursue her.
If you want a friends with benefits sort of thing, where you can talk and hang out and have sex without any of the obligations of being a partner, then you have to prepare yourself for some sort of interaction with her child. Think of it this way. Even if you were only friends with the girl (no sex at all, just a friend), you'd probably still have some sort of relationship with her kid. Being friends, there would be times where you'd go over to her house and hang out, which likely means her kid will be present. You'd be known as Uncle Grundl.
So it stands to reason that if you want to be friends AND want to have sex with her, that you'll have the same sort of connection as a normal friend would. You won't have as much responsibility as say a boyfriend (and therefore potential father) would have but you will be Uncle Grundl nonetheless and that entails SOME obligations on you, just like it would on any other of the girl's friends.
Kids are affected by the people that are around them. They learn/imitate behaviours from adults, whether consciously or not. So if you're spending time with the mother, chances are that you'll have some sort of impression on the child.