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Should I go for it(Girls lol)

RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
edited May 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Alright, I don't want to rant, so I'm going to try to keep this fairly concise.

A few weeks ago, I met this girl at my school. Really cute, same age as me(18-19), all that good stuff. I struck up a conversation with her while I was on my break between classes, and we talked for a good hour or so. I grabbed her number, and all that good stuff.

So, we have the same hour break three days a week, at school. We've been hanging out every one of those days since we met. At first, I thought we might be hanging out too much(I didn't mind, but I didn't want to seem needy or anything). But one of those days, I was running about seven minutes late to meet her, and she called me wondering where I was :/

The more we hang out, the more things I find I like about her. She plays video games, and is farther on Twilight Princess than I am. She's actually heard of my favorite band, and likes them. She does the same 'bad' things I do(Smoke, Drink, used to toke... same as me). We've been hitting it off really well, and I'm really into her.

Everything good then, right? No.

She lives a few cities away from me. About a 20-30 minute drive, nothing that bad. However, neither of us are driving yet. She carpools to school everyday, and my brother drives me. Second, she's been really busy at work(works at a florist place, prom season right now) so she usually has to work right after school, meaning I havn't had a chance to hang out with her outside of school.

Third, school is ending in a week(well, this week, then finals, but thats very irregular). So we won't have this really convinient time to spend together.

So I'm torn. Should I try to get with her, despite the odds? Should I keep her on the backburner, until at least one of us gets a car? Or should I just go in a different direction completely?

Tl;dr
I like this girl, I'm pretty sure she likes me. But she lives a couple cities away, 20 minute drive, and neither of us drive. Should I try to get with her, despite the odds?

I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
Raslin on

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    cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    It sounds like the positives far outweigh the negatives, so why not? I'm sure there's other ways to keep in touch with her, if you're really set on it.

    cj iwakura on
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    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    The back burner is the worst place to leave potential. If you don't take action you'll be forced to deal with regrets instead of actual knowledge of what situations may arise. More importantly if she has so many good traits you should assume that others notice them and a summer gives those others quite a lot of time to make advancements. You have no reason not to pursue.

    DasUberEdward on
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Just talk to her and go in for the kiss.
    sorry, had to do that

    In answer you your question, whenever I find myself in a situation where I go "should I go for it", I go for it. Has become a personal principle of mine.

    The regret of missing opportunities hits way harder than the regret of seizing them. Trust me on this.

    ege02 on
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Start hanging out before school is over, if you want any chance of seeing her after that.

    Also, you better get access to a set of wheels, even if it's only "hey can I borrow the car for tonight". Having your brother chauffer you around is almost as lame as having her always pick you up.

    DarkPrimus on
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    Strain 121Strain 121 Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Yeah, go for it.

    My girlfriend lives like half an hour away, she has no car, and I don't have my 6 months up yet, but everything still works out. You just won't be able to do stuff like "oh hey can I meet you in 10 minutes for something real quick" or "we can hang out at your place while we wait for something" etc etc.

    Go for it. If you don't you will regret it forever.

    Strain 121 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Yeah, 30 minutes ain't no thang. My girlfriend lives like, six states away.

    DarkPrimus on
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    misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    The regret of missing opportunities hits way harder than the regret of seizing them. Trust me on this.

    Truer words have never been said.

    Go for it!

    misbehavin on
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    EtchEtch Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Push comes to shove you can always take the bus, it's not too fun, but at least it'll get you there.

    Etch on
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    DioltasDioltas Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Go for it! She seems really great, don't let a mere 30 min. stop you when you can just get your license and borrow a parent's car this summer. Of course, I'm in an internationally long distance relationship right now (ending with moving in together in 7 days!), so I may be biased :P. They're not so bad, what with the internet and all.

    Dioltas on
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    Uncle LongUncle Long Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    And, unless you're on the free way for the full 20 minutes I can't imagine that you couldn't develop a healthy bike route there. That's what I always did in the summers when I came home from school and didn't have a car.

    Uncle Long on
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    CreepyCreepy Tucson, AzRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    That kind of distance barely qualifies as an obstacle.

    You'll almost enjoy riding the bus if everything works out. You'd absolutely enjoy the bike ride.

    Creepy on
    Live: Broichan

    PSN: Broichan
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    RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Yeah, the 20-30 minutes is freeway. It would probably be an hour if I was taking a bike or bus.

    I dunno. We were hanging out just a bit ago(I'm at school), and were talking. We never said the words dating or going out, but we were talking about school ending and us hanging out, and we came to a sort of conclusion that it would be hard to hang out a lot, though we'll hang out when we can during the summer.

    I could probably have my car and be driving in a month, if I work pretty hard on it. I think if we started going out now, we wouldn't see each other enough for us to get a good start... thats how it seems to me, anyways.

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Raslin wrote: »
    I think if we started going out now, we wouldn't see each other enough for us to get a good start... thats how it seems to me, anyways.

    Actually, in my experience it is better to start slow. A "good start" doesn't necessarily involve seeing each other everyday.

    ege02 on
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    SerphimeraSerphimera Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Definitely go for it. If this relationship has any potential a little inconvenience won’t derail it. She’s definitely into you but if you don’t take action soon she will loose interest--I know because this has happened to me.

    Serphimera on
    And then I voted.
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    RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Well gawd damnit

    I've been looking up bus rides over that way... I gotta go through a bunch of cities I don't know, and switch buses multiple times... probably be an hour ride each way, not counting waiting for the buses.

    Bike riding isn't a possibility. The easy way to get there is to go on the freeway. The other way... well, I would have to do a big U to reach her city that way.

    This is looking really unfeasable.

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
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    AurinAurin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Raslin wrote: »
    Well gawd damnit

    I've been looking up bus rides over that way... I gotta go through a bunch of cities I don't know, and switch buses multiple times... probably be an hour ride each way, not counting waiting for the buses.

    Bike riding isn't a possibility. The easy way to get there is to go on the freeway. The other way... well, I would have to do a big U to reach her city that way.

    This is looking really unfeasable.

    Sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it. ;-)

    Aurin on
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    RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Aurin wrote: »
    Raslin wrote: »
    Well gawd damnit

    I've been looking up bus rides over that way... I gotta go through a bunch of cities I don't know, and switch buses multiple times... probably be an hour ride each way, not counting waiting for the buses.

    Bike riding isn't a possibility. The easy way to get there is to go on the freeway. The other way... well, I would have to do a big U to reach her city that way.

    This is looking really unfeasable.

    Sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it. ;-)

    I'm just realistic. If I try to go out with her, she'll bring up the valid point of how hard it will be for us to hang out. I want a good counter to that before I go into it, if possible.

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
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    thorpethorpe Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Raslin wrote: »
    Aurin wrote: »
    Raslin wrote: »
    Well gawd damnit

    I've been looking up bus rides over that way... I gotta go through a bunch of cities I don't know, and switch buses multiple times... probably be an hour ride each way, not counting waiting for the buses.

    Bike riding isn't a possibility. The easy way to get there is to go on the freeway. The other way... well, I would have to do a big U to reach her city that way.

    This is looking really unfeasable.

    Sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it. ;-)

    I'm just realistic. If I try to go out with her, she'll bring up the valid point of how hard it will be for us to hang out. I want a good counter to that before I go into it, if possible.

    Dude, if she's into you, she isn't going to bring that up. If she does, it probably means she's giving you a discrete "no."

    Just make your move, otherwise you will really, truly regret it later when you realize that some suave SOB has taken her over the summer.

    thorpe on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Prophetavius VProphetavius V __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Think of it this way, would you rather see some other guy swoop in and take her? No? Then move.

    Prophetavius V on
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    Grid SystemGrid System Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Jesus, what's wrong with taking the bus anyway? I spend almost two hours in transit from home to class to work and back home every day. Take a book or something to keep you occupied.

    And, of course, work on the car angle harder if it's such an issue.

    Grid System on
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    contrabandcontraband Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Jesus, what's wrong with taking the bus anyway? I spend almost two hours in transit from home to class to work and back home every day. Take a book or something to keep you occupied.

    And, of course, work on the car angle harder if it's such an issue.

    Occasional, I take the bus home from high school. The bus for my time-frame is the most god awful vehicle I have ever occupied. It is packed solid with junior high kids, two in every seat and laying in the aisles and sitting on the stairs so no one can walk past, swearing and yelling and not listening to anyone. It's horrible.

    Today though I caught another bus, and I was the only one on it. It was nice. It was quiet!

    It depends on your bus, I guess.

    contraband on
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    Captain AwesomeftwCaptain Awesomeftw Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    You've got this all wrong.

    There are obstacles if you're going to do the whole "Omg you are my GIRLFRIEND now and we have to ahng out every day and not see other people lawlzzz"

    Maybe that won't work out great. So just keep in touch, make your interest known, but don't ask her for any commitments, and don't offer any to her. You see each other, awesome, but there's no stress that way. Plus, it'll make you seem less needy anyways which will likely help you hold on to this chick even with the distance.

    Remember, we pursue that which retreats from us. You want her investment in the interaction to outweigh yours. At that point, you're in a good, comfortable spot. But don't fall for that old thing of "we either are dating exlcusively or we are not." You're not in second grade, you don't need to send her a note that says "Do you like me, plz check one []yes []no []buttsecks."

    Captain Awesomeftw on
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    ZeeBeeKayZeeBeeKay Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Yay, now I get to return the Cpt Awesome compliment from the other girl thread and say listen to him.
    Though, I sorta think the whole wanting her investment to outweigh yours is bullshit, and the investments should probably be pretty close to equal.

    ANYWAYS.
    It sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it, as Aurin said. It also sounds like you don't really want to date her, 'cause if you did 20-30 mins of freeway would be nothing. The first guy I dated seriously lived like 45 minutes away on a good day, the second 30 but he went to a different school. Like the good Captain said, it's only a problem if you think that dating means OMG you have to spend every waking minute together.

    You might want to rethink what, if anything, you want from this relationship. Makeoutsyay? or a real relationship? Or something in between? It's up to you, but it'll decide how you deal with the long-distance thing.

    Good luck!

    ZeeBeeKay on
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    rockmonkeyrockmonkey Little RockRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    If you could swing just busing up there for saturday each week then add in phone conversations and you're good for the first month of so with just that. You don't want to be clingy.

    rockmonkey on
    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
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    RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    ZeeBeeKay wrote: »
    Yay, now I get to return the Cpt Awesome compliment from the other girl thread and say listen to him.
    Though, I sorta think the whole wanting her investment to outweigh yours is bullshit, and the investments should probably be pretty close to equal.

    ANYWAYS.
    It sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it, as Aurin said. It also sounds like you don't really want to date her, 'cause if you did 20-30 mins of freeway would be nothing. The first guy I dated seriously lived like 45 minutes away on a good day, the second 30 but he went to a different school. Like the good Captain said, it's only a problem if you think that dating means OMG you have to spend every waking minute together.

    You might want to rethink what, if anything, you want from this relationship. Makeoutsyay? or a real relationship? Or something in between? It's up to you, but it'll decide how you deal with the long-distance thing.

    Good luck!

    No, I really do want to get with her. But its not 20-30 minutes of bus for me. Its more like 2-3 hours of bus for me, depending on how well I time bus arrivals.

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Raslin wrote: »
    ZeeBeeKay wrote: »
    Yay, now I get to return the Cpt Awesome compliment from the other girl thread and say listen to him.
    Though, I sorta think the whole wanting her investment to outweigh yours is bullshit, and the investments should probably be pretty close to equal.

    ANYWAYS.
    It sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it, as Aurin said. It also sounds like you don't really want to date her, 'cause if you did 20-30 mins of freeway would be nothing. The first guy I dated seriously lived like 45 minutes away on a good day, the second 30 but he went to a different school. Like the good Captain said, it's only a problem if you think that dating means OMG you have to spend every waking minute together.

    You might want to rethink what, if anything, you want from this relationship. Makeoutsyay? or a real relationship? Or something in between? It's up to you, but it'll decide how you deal with the long-distance thing.

    Good luck!

    No, I really do want to get with her. But its not 20-30 minutes of bus for me. Its more like 2-3 hours of bus for me, depending on how well I time bus arrivals.

    Fact of the matter is, there is no way you can know whether a relationship will or will not work until you actually try to make it work.

    Coming up with excuses (and yes, this is precisely what you are doing right now) before you even start -- and this applies to everything, not just girl stuffs -- is a self-defeating attitude.

    ege02 on
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    RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    Raslin wrote: »
    ZeeBeeKay wrote: »
    Yay, now I get to return the Cpt Awesome compliment from the other girl thread and say listen to him.
    Though, I sorta think the whole wanting her investment to outweigh yours is bullshit, and the investments should probably be pretty close to equal.

    ANYWAYS.
    It sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it, as Aurin said. It also sounds like you don't really want to date her, 'cause if you did 20-30 mins of freeway would be nothing. The first guy I dated seriously lived like 45 minutes away on a good day, the second 30 but he went to a different school. Like the good Captain said, it's only a problem if you think that dating means OMG you have to spend every waking minute together.

    You might want to rethink what, if anything, you want from this relationship. Makeoutsyay? or a real relationship? Or something in between? It's up to you, but it'll decide how you deal with the long-distance thing.

    Good luck!

    No, I really do want to get with her. But its not 20-30 minutes of bus for me. Its more like 2-3 hours of bus for me, depending on how well I time bus arrivals.

    Fact of the matter is, there is no way you can know whether a relationship will or will not work until you actually try to make it work.

    Coming up with excuses (and yes, this is precisely what you are doing right now) before you even start -- and this applies to everything, not just girl stuffs -- is a self-defeating attitude.

    Of course. I do plan on going after her, I'm just debating about when to do it. Whether to wait until I have a car, or not.

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Don't wait. Otherwise she'll be taken by someone else.

    ege02 on
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    ZeeBeeKayZeeBeeKay Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Just. Go. For. It.

    If you wait, the opportunity may pass. Or, she might decide that you're being kind of an ass (which it sounds to me like you are, assuming that she's just gonna be waiting for her Raslin-in-shining-armor to sweep her twenty minutes down the freeway.) Or she may get a boyfriend. Or you may get a girlfriend. Or any number of things may happen, but you won't be with her right now. If you wait, you've no clue if it's ever going to be possible, but if you don't wait, then you at least know that you gave it a shot and were with her for a while.

    Honestly.

    DAMMIT beat'd by ege.

    ZeeBeeKay on
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    ZeeBeeKay wrote: »
    DAMMIT beat'd by ege.

    Never use 112 words for what can be told with 9. :)

    ege02 on
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    RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I will probably go for it on wednesday.

    Damnit. I always get all weird when I plan ahead for this kind of thing. I spend most of my time thinking of every possible thing that could happen, and yet I always end up surprised.

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
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    RohaqRohaq UKRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I'm a bit confused: If someone gives her a lift to school, and someone gives you a lift to school, couldn't you ask if you can head back with her, and that she can head back with you somedays? Mine and my girlfriend's parents used to drive us around a lot before we could drive. Granted that we were only a 10 minute drive from each other, but since you already have a central point where you meet up, you're halfway there already.

    Plus she sounds totally into you.

    Alternatively, lern 2 driev, n00b.

    Rohaq on
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    RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Rohaq wrote: »
    I'm a bit confused: If someone gives her a lift to school, and someone gives you a lift to school, couldn't you ask if you can head back with her, and that she can head back with you somedays? Mine and my girlfriend's parents used to drive us around a lot before we could drive. Granted that we were only a 10 minute drive from each other, but since you already have a central point where you meet up, you're halfway there already.

    Plus she sounds totally into you.

    Alternatively, lern 2 driev, n00b.

    Yeah, I didn't even mention everything, like her telling me "You don't need to sit so far away, I dont have cooties"(I was sitting about the length I would sit away from a guy).

    But yeah, I have thought of that. I actually have a cousin in her town, I could probably shack up at his place. However, school ends this week, so those rides won't be happening.

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
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