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Strange & Embarrassing Moments Mk. II

redstormpopcornredstormpopcorn Registered User regular
edited January 2006 in Archives
The last one has been locked & chatlogged, so it's time to start up a fresh installment of the most entertaining thread in D&D.

Ready, set, GO.

redstormpopcorn on
emot-kamina.gif BELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF emot-kamina.gif
«13456762

Posts

  • DynagripDynagrip destroy everything you touch Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2004
    You should lead off with a story.

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  • MJMJ Registered User
    edited November 2004
    Dynagrip wrote:
    You should lead off with a story.

    I'll do it I guess. It'll be lame, but it's something.
    Anyways, it happened last Saturday during my break at work. I was heading out of the clerical office after clocking out, when I looked and saw this guy with his back to me who looked exactly like my bf, looking down an isle of clothes. This is at a department store(SuperTarget) btw.
    So as happy as I am to see he came a bit early, slowly creep over to suprise him from behind. I get within huggle range, then strike, only to realize after the gasp was not familiar, that this was indeed a stranger.
    Embarrassed as I was, the guy was actually grinning wide and said something like "Hey, I didn't know this store was so friendly!" :D
    All I could say was "Oops, that wasn't for you. Sorry" and I left.

    I've made alot of mistakes like that, from family to friends, that was just the latest. I should just stick to shoulder taps...

    mino_mirror_punch2_sig.gif
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Last thursday, my ex girlfriend said I was spreading shit about her to all my friends and bitching about her behind her back. Even though it was the other way around, my friends were insulting her behind her back to me.

    She then slapped me in the face infront of my entire year.
    I am now a hero to Year 13 of Desborough Secondary school.

    Its been a strange week.

    Spoiler:
  • PaladinPaladin Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Yay... my contribution is immortalized... on page 97.

    Marty: The future, it's where you're going?
    Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
  • redstormpopcornredstormpopcorn Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    My baby's gone... :P
    No, just on display in a jar of formaldehyde.

    emot-kamina.gif BELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF emot-kamina.gif
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    My baby's gone... :P
    No, just on display in a jar of formaldehyde.
    Well, that's a different matter completely.

    CDIOl.png
  • mrflippymrflippy Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Ok, here's one for me:

    At college, I was at my friend's apartment. His girlfriend came in with the mail, and set it on the table between us. On top was a newsletter the city put out about the water works. (Purification, contaminants, statistics, etc.) (Semi)Jokingly, I said, "Oh man, why do they send this stuff out? Nobody's actually interested in it."

    To which my friend responded, "My girlfriend is majoring in environmental water studies.*"

    :oops:


    *Don't remember exactly what she was doing, but it involved the environment, water, and it turns out that she interned at the place that put out those newsletters.

  • BuntaBunta Registered User
    edited November 2004
    I made my contributions in the previous thread, but something particularly good happened this week.

    For those who don't remember,or don't want to search through 100 pages; I work for a major bank in the metro NYC area.

    The other day, a man came up to my window and asked for a $3,000.00 cash advance on his credit card. I stared at his liscense, made sure it was legit, ran the card through the machine, and gave him the money. He shakes his head and goes,"No no, I need $8000.00." I shrugged and ran it through the machine again, figuring if his credit limit is good enough for 8,000, far be it for me to impede on his imminant spending spree.

    Unfortunately, Visa has a thing about two cash advances on the same credit card minutes from each other. So ofcourse the card is declined and I have to phone up the issuing bank's number directly to get an approval code. Fast forward about half an hour later and I'm still on the phone with the other bank; so I set the phone down and tell the guy it'll be a little longer for security issues.

    Most people would throw a fit at having to wait half an hour( I know I would), but he seemed happy as a clam, lost in his own world. So, I started to get suspicious about his intentions for the cash. I start doubting whether or not the man is really who he says he is; maybe he stole this card and got a fake ID. It took another 5 minutes, but after the other bank asked him some questions to determine if he was legit, he was walking out of the bank with eight grand in assorted twenties,fifties,and hundreds.

    -This is where it gets good-

    Three hours later, two uniformed cops come into the bank. I blinked and watched them walk over and talk to my boss. I immediately start thinking of the cash advance fella and worry it was a big case of credit card fraud. Not too far into their discussion, one of the cops points at me. Not hard, male chinese face behind a teller line among a sea of caucasian and indian faces is easy to pick out. They talk some more and soon my boss points at me and motions for me to go over. When I get there, they ask me if I remember doing a cash advance for 8k.

    "Yes...I remember him. (name deleted) came in a few hours ago with his card and license. Is something wrong?"

    "Yes...we're investigating a case of credit card fraud...."

    Fuck. Immediately I see myself unemployed by the end of the afternoon.

    ".....from what Mister(deleted) told us, he was robbed in the parking lot."

    Robbed? Wasn't this fraud?

    "...Two suspects in the parking lot told him to give them eight thousand dollars in return for winning lottery tickets. Once Mr. (deleted) handed the money over, the two ran off in opposite directions."

  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Businessman!Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    someone asked me for this story. i had to peruse through the old thread for a while.
    _____________________________________________________
    That story reminds me of when in grade 8 my teacher was a real bitch and everyone hated her.

    Anyway one day she was giving a lesson about something or other when I notice all these people in the class nudging each other and pointing at this guy in the 2nd row. I look over there and hes got his hand in his pocket and its pretty obvious that he's jacking off.

    This goes on for about 10 minutes and obody in the class says anything but I'm pretty sure that damn near everybody knew what he was doing.

    Once our teacher finished yapping he goes up to talk to her, and I thought she would have noticed what he was doing during the last 10 minutes, but she didn't.

    Now heres the kicker. While he's talking to the teacher he gives her a pat on the back, and when she turns around everyone bursts out laughing because he smeared jizz on her back.

    She couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing, and she never found out but that was the most hilarious thing to happen in that class, and that guy was my hero.
    ___________________________________________________

    can someone help me find the other story about the guy who threw a bookshelf onto the car of the principal? it involves the line "and we heard what sounded like my principal screaming "WHAT THE FUCK?!!! MY CAR!"

    good times.

    steam_sig.png

    I pronounce it bee-log. Most recent entry: VIDEO GAMES: GUNPOINT, OR A SCIENTIFIC STUDY ON WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GLASS MEETS TROUSERS. 3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348
  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    When I used to go to my old college I of course lived in the dorms. I had two roommates. One of them that I got along with pretty well was a total fuckup. Anyone one night we were drinking. We played asshole so everyone was pretty fucked up. Around midnight this girl showed up that my roommate had a thing for. She got incredibly drunk as well. They were flirting alot and shit but I didn't think much of it. I tend to get emo and irritable when I drink alot so I left and took a twenty minute walk or so.

    I came back and pretty much everyoen had lieft. My roommate and this girl were lying on my bed. I didn't feel like being an ass and waking them up. We had bunkbeds so I said fuck it and climbed up into his bed. I promptly passout. About an hour later I am awakened to a truly horrifying sound. There's moaning and groaning coming from the bed beneath me. God only knows what was going on beneath me. I'm still quite drunk and half asleep at this point. Unable to sum up the energy to get up I ended up lying there for about an hour listening to my roommate have sex in my bed for about an hour. One of the more bizarre(not to mention FUCKING NASTY) experiences of my life.

  • ElkiElki hegemon globalSuper Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited November 2004
    Because I missed the end of the last thread, and couldn't reply.
    Ninto wrote:
    Elkamil:

    What the hell is with you and your stories about running into various female friends and acquaintences changing, semi nude and/or running around in their panties?
    I don't know, but the number of incidents has dramatically incrased since I've been with my girlfriend.

    Why wasn't everybody running around wearing little clothing before? I have no idea.

  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    The answer is simple. Your girlfriend is setting up all these panty antics, and wants to have an orgy with you and all of the girls. You know what to do....

    CDIOl.png
  • EchrasisEchrasis Registered User
    edited November 2004
    Ah what the hell, here goes...

    In 9th grade or so, i was in a public speaking class with 2 good friends of mine. And naturally we had to prepare for a speech to present the next day about anything that mattered to us. The next day came along and our teacher was a substitue so instead of doing our speaches later there was a camera setup to record it so our teacher could see it the next day. About halfway through some girl came up babbling something about horses and fairies. Naturally I was bored out of my mind. The she said "...and then the princess said" and without missing a beat i accidentally let out an enormous fart. Everyone moved away from me as fast as they could. Heh, it was embrassing at the time, now me and my friends still remember it and laugh about it years later.

    One time me and my friend jason went to wendys. As we got in the line there were these two fairly hot girls just in front of us and they were deffinately into us. So there was some body language flirting going on. And as a seal the deal type of flirting when the girls got to the counter to give their order they made a sexy pose and one of them was bent over showing us her ass. woah... pretty hot eh? Well then she farted, loudly. Both the girls and I immediately broke into a hysterical laughter while jason was trying desperately to hide his laughter unsuccesfully. As a bit of a kicker the girl who was taking their order wasn't even slightly phased by what just happened. She just said "well? what did you want to drink with that?". Well after me and jason finished eating we headed for the door to drive somewhere else when we saw those same girls and they yelled to us "bye boys!" as they chuckled and so did we. Best time i ever had at wendys.

    I lived with one of my friends for 6 months (long story why). and after living with him for 3 months and sleeping in the same ROOM as he did (not bed, thank god). me and a few other friends decided to get him drunk since he never had been before. now i need to give you a little bit of background on this guy, i wont say his name but he weighs in excess of 350 pounds, is a huge anime and fanfiction fan, dropped out of high school in order to stay home and play video games (swear to god) and he also has tourettes. So when we got him drunk one of us called him gay for some stupid reason then trying to be a smartass but failing he blurted out "i'm not gay! i'm bi-sex......" we all were just stunned, even though we were drunk we all just stood quietly for a good 40 seconds. then i realized i had to sleep in the same room as him! nooooooo! i'm not a homophobe i've had gay friends before but when you SLEEP IN THEIR ROOM it's a little diffrent. A few days later me and another friend who had gotten drunk with us decided to ask him if he really was bi or what. he said he was.
    A few weeks later i was looking around the house for him because i needed to ask him something, the last place i checked was his room. and when i opened the door.... well... you guessed he, he was whackin off. a 350 pound 21 year old hentai addicted bi-sexual man with tourettes..... yikes.

    Here's a story the rest of you guys will enjoy, I know I did.
    In 10th grade I was in biology class, and to my right sat a girl who i liked but never did anything about it (used to be pretty shy about that). it was halfway through the semester and in halfway through another boring class. i was going insane from all the doodles i made instead of taking notes. (2.0 gpa w00t!). anyway i put my head down on my desk and decided to sneak a few peeks at my secret crush. when i noticed that she had a green highlighter between her legs and was stroking her crotch with it :shock: Nobody else seemed to notice. Best class ever 8)

    Ok final one, gettin lazy here.
    I was going out with a girl named stacy. we had to go somwhere but i didn't know how to get there. so as i drove she was giving me directions.... she is by far the absolute worst person to ask for directions from. since where i live there are a few 1 way streets signs missing.... you can see what happened there :?
    Anyway after that 1-way street mishaps we got to a 4way intersection and stacy kept changing her mind on what way i needed to turn, and in all the confusion i almost caused a car accident and guess who was right behind me? a cop. he pulled me over in the busiest part of the city and loads of people were staring at me wondering what i did. and to make matters worse as soon as the cop came to my window my idiot girlfriend blurted out "god mark! i knew this would happen, i knew you'd get caught for this sooner or later" omg.... i almost killed her but since there was a cop around.... well... woulda been a bad idea to say the least. as you can guess we're no longer going out.

  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    That reminds me of when I once farted in my first grade class. It was very loud, and everyone in the room heard it. Being first-graders, we laughed. A lot. Then, my bitch teacher who obviously didn't approve sent me to my desk, for the rest of the fucking day. So I'm isolated at my desk, bored, and I ask if I can go get a book. She says yes, and I grab one, and read through it, trying to pass the time. After about half an hour, and maybe 5 read-throughs of the book, the day was finally over. God, that teacher was annoying.

    In the same class another day, we were all reading what the teacher was writing on the board. She reads aloud as she writes, and says "duck". She writes "dick". A bunch of kids laugh their asses off, while I ask my friend, who is laughing as well, what it means. He tells me, and I start laughing as well. Ah...Good times.

    Another time, in the same class, I fell asleep on this big yellow cushion, which is to be referred to as the Pac-Man cushion. I sleep for a while, and then when I wake up I'm greeted by one of the new girls (we'll call her Jill),. who gets right in my face, speaking quite loudly, "Ya have a nice snooze?!"

    Later, Jill is at her desk, seemingly paying attention to the teacher, but then my friend whispers, "Hey, look! Jill's picking at her butt!" To which I say "What?" He says again, "She's picking her butt! Look!", and he points at her desk. She had her hand up her shorts, just picking away. I laughed quietly, while my friend did as well. It was a bit hard to suppress that laughter when the teacher came by, though.

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  • SabreSabre Registered User
    edited November 2004
    can someone help me find the other story about the guy who threw a bookshelf onto the car of the principal? it involves the line "and we heard what sounded like my principal screaming "WHAT THE FUCK?!!! MY CAR!"

    good times.

    Because I seemed to have missed that part of the thread, I went back and took a look.
    Immolator wrote:
    Not really an embarrasing moment (for me at least), but it's pretty damn funny. There was this one English teacher at my highschool who was extremely incompetent. She was really nice, but she couldn't get any control over her classes. There was this group of guys who went out of their way to torment the poor woman, causing trouble and being giant assholes in general. Now, the classroom is in the third story of the building. The building has a short sidewalk, then a fire lane where no one usually parks (duh). There are those old solid wooden desks, and a couple bookcases filled with textbooks and paperbacks.

    One day, the teacher had to go out of the room to see if we could use the computers (ancient P1 133s, running Windows 95 and so loaded with spyware that they ran like 386s). While she was gone, the assholes got the bright idea to empty a bookshelf by throwing everything out the windows. These windows are rather large, mind you. After they emptied a bookshelf, one of them decided to see if a desk would go out the window. He throws the desk out the window, and instead of a wooden crash, everyone in the room heard glass cracking, and what sounded like the principal yelling 'WHAT THE FUCK!"

    Apparantly, the principal was coming back from his lunch, when he saw the books being thrown out into the street. Because of the way the books were thrown, they went sideways quite a bit, and he ended up parking his car so it wouldn't be hit by the books. Unfortunately for him, it happened to be under the window for our classroom. The windshield was smashed in, and a very pissed off principal ran up to our classroom, out for blood. The kids who pitched the books out the window had to replace all the books, after their 10 day suspensions were up. The kid who pitched the desk out the window had to replace the desk, pay for the damages to the principal's car, got a 30-day long-term suspension, and ended up with vandalism charges (from the police officer that was on campus, which were thrown out when he failed to show up to court after untold continuances).

    The worst the kids at my school ever did was spray weed killer on the football field, to commemorate the class of 2001. God DAMN the administration was pissed to see "C/O 2001" written in ten yard wide letters on the field.

    I suppose I ought to add a good story for myself. Well, not involving me, thank God. One of our substitute teachers, a nice guy from Maryland, was subbing for one of the History teachers. The class was reasonably isolated, and we had class just after lunch. Me and my friends were eating lunch, and since I didn't have any classes after that one (I had to go over to the community college for my Precalculus class, hooray for college credit), I asked a friend who was done eating to go over and ask the teacher what we were doing in class. He wanders off, but comes back five minutes later looking like he'd been kicked.

    We asked him what was up, and he blurted out, "Mr Doe (not his name) was jacking off to something on the computer!" We looked at each other, not believing a word he was saying. Our friend had a nasty tendancy to make up stuff on the fly.

    "Okay, how'd you figure this out?"
    "Dude, I could see the monitor, and his hands were in his pants."

    Not wanting to be scarred ourselves, we laughed at him, and made snide comments like "Was the show good?" and "Did you help?" We went to class, and all we had was a worksheet. There were three computers in the class, and since we got done first, we got to go mess around on one. Generally, the teacher wandered off when he gives a worksheet, as our class didn't ransack the room or anything. We asked our friend which computer he was supposedly using, and we went and checked the internet history. Oh, that was a bad idea.

    Yes, our sub was looking at porn. Donkey porn, to be precise. Of course, we didn't find this out until we clicked on the link, and had our retinas burned out. And of course, the rest of the class had to take a look, and hear the story. Thank God the commotion had settled down before the teacher came back at the end of class, and took up the worksheets.

    We never went to class early again.

    PAsig.jpg
    SteamID : Harbinger EVE-O: Jarek Dryayen
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Oh my god...Hilarious. Did the teacher find out?

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  • NoomNoom Registered User
    edited November 2004
    Fuck, I can't string together words properly right now, but I'll try to tell this story.

    So I was making out with this one chick and everything was good and all, and then she reached down my pants to grab at my fun parts. Now normally this is a good thing and all, but on this particular occasion I was sporting a peeler (for those of you who don't understand, think foreskin, think peeled bannana, think extremely sensitive). So unknowingly she grabs on and starts just yanking away at it. I grab her hand and try and make her slow down and whatnot, but for some reason she takes this to me go harder. So now I'm in such excrutiating pain that I am unable to move and have little pain spasms that she takes to mean it's getting good so she grabs harder still. I'm going blind with pain so I figure I can't allow this any longer so I say "Oh Jesus Please Stop." I then got up and went to the bathroom to resolve my "issue" so things would be golden again, and then went back to fooling around with her.
    Unfortunately I found out the next day that she assumed my telling her to stop and then leaving for the washroom meant I had sent soldiers into battle.
    And that's the end of that chapter.

    sig.gif
  • ElkiElki hegemon globalSuper Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited November 2004
    That's fucking hilarious.

  • TarranonTarranon Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    one time I was bitten by a ciao...dog. Chowdog...have now idea how they're spelled. It hurt. Not really. The needle with cleaning fluids they stuck into me hurt worse. I still have the scar. Stupid dog. Karma was on my side though, it eventually got run over. 8)

  • PaladinPaladin Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Well, uh, I was jailed for almost a month here at one time.

    Marty: The future, it's where you're going?
    Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
  • TarranonTarranon Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Paladin wrote:
    Well, uh, I was jailed for almost a month here at one time.
    :o

  • PaladinPaladin Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Nobody who didn't already know couldn't guess the reason.

    I guess I should tell you huh

    Marty: The future, it's where you're going?
    Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
  • GumbyGumby Registered User
    edited November 2004
    I got a fart story.

    It was 8th grade math class. I let out a silent toot because I really couldn't hold it in for the life of me.

    About a few seconds later, the students sitting near me start complaining.

    "Oh my god, it reeks in here!" said the person sitting beside me.
    "It reeks worse than the sewer!" another student exclaimed.

    Thinking quickly, I gaze over at my friend sitting nearby. She was quite the farter, so I figured - hey - why not pin the blame on her?

    "Hey, was that you that farted?” I asked her.
    “No!” she exclaimed.
    “Are you suuuuure?” I asked.
    "Fuck you, it wasn't me!" she yelled. The teacher heard the F word and then my friend got detention for swearing. Not only that, but everyone believed she was the fart culprit for being a spaz and then reiterated about how stinky the fart was.

    (Yeah I was evil, but that fart reeked! I didn't want to get blamed for that.)

    LOVE. We should all be rolled together as one.
  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    God, I don't know why, but that was a really funny fart story.

    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I fucking hate you Canadians.
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    God, I don't know why, but that was a really funny fart story.

    Especially when you look at his/her sig.

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  • Vanilla CokeVanilla Coke Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Gumby wrote:
    I got a fart story.

    It was 8th grade math class. I let out a silent toot because I really couldn't hold it in for the life of me.

    About a few seconds later, the students sitting near me start complaining.

    "Oh my god, it reeks in here!" said the person sitting beside me.
    "It reeks worse than the sewer!" another student exclaimed.

    Thinking quickly, I gaze over at my friend sitting nearby. She was quite the farter, so I figured - hey - why not pin the blame on her?

    "Hey, was that you that farted?” I asked her.
    “No!” she exclaimed.
    “Are you suuuuure?” I asked.
    "Fuck you, it wasn't me!" she yelled. The teacher heard the F word and then my friend got detention for swearing. Not only that, but everyone believed she was the fart culprit for being a spaz and then reiterated about how stinky the fart was.

    (Yeah I was evil, but that fart reeked! I didn't want to get blamed for that.)
    That...that was brilliant.

  • aquabataquabat Registered User
    edited November 2004
    olol I cant believe I just read this entire thread

  • ElkiElki hegemon globalSuper Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited November 2004
    aquabat wrote:
    TerrorKitty says:
    dude
    I dont care just where says:
    dude
    I dont care just where says:
    wassup
    TerrorKitty says:
    much
    I dont care just where says:
    do tell
    TerrorKitty says:
    I was sitting here, right?
    I dont care just where says:
    totally
    TerrorKitty says:
    Then Britney comes in with Hope
    I dont care just where says:
    Hope being...
    TerrorKitty says:
    Hope is a year older than Britney. She was from my class, and now goes to the same college
    TerrorKitty says:
    a good friend of mine
    I dont care just where says:
    no no, is she hot?
    TerrorKitty says:
    way hot
    TerrorKitty says:
    I had a crush on Hope when I was a freshmen, but she was dating some other guy at the time
    I dont care just where says:
    cool, ok im there
    TerrorKitty says:
    Britney knows this
    I dont care just where says:
    hahah yup
    TerrorKitty says:
    So we were sitting in the couch watching the Shrek 2 DVD
    TerrorKitty says:
    I'm sitting between the two of them
    I dont care just where says:
    of course
    TerrorKitty says:
    Britney starts to make out with me. I don't like to do that when other people are around, but I wasn't gonna tell her to stop.
    I dont care just where says:
    this better go where i think its going................
    TerrorKitty says:
    We stopped after a bit
    TerrorKitty says:
    I noticed that I'm practically sandwiched between the two
    TerrorKitty says:
    No space
    TerrorKitty says:
    I've flirted with Hope before, so I'm not that uncomfortable around her.
    TerrorKitty says:
    Hold on. I gotta go get my drink
    TerrorKitty says:
    So she starts to kiss on me again, and then stops, and then she and Hope reach through me and lock lips
    TerrorKitty says:
    I was fucking mesmerized
    TerrorKitty says:
    They do it for about 15 seconds and then stop
    TerrorKitty says:
    Hope then looks at me, and her head reaches towards me
    TerrorKitty says:
    I'm frozen
    I dont care just where says:
    hahahaha
    TerrorKitty says:
    She's less than an inch away
    TerrorKitty says:
    then they both get up and start laughing
    TerrorKitty says:
    it was a fucking joke
    I dont care just where says:
    :?
    I dont care just where says:
    thats a pretty fucking cool joke
    I dont care just where says:
    i am suitably impressed, and posting this on the chat thread
    Why did TerrorKitty's girlfriend decide to subject him to such a cruel joke? It's because she was lurking yesterday and read this, and then decided that it'll make a funny joke.
    The answer is simple. Your girlfriend is setting up all these panty antics, and wants to have an orgy with you and all of the girls. You know what to do....
    I hope you're happy with yourself, Chocolate. May you burn in hell for all eternity. Bringing a man an inch away from heaven, only to be awoken with a cold glass of water. You vile vile man.


    Britney, if you're reading this: So....

  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Elkamil wrote:
    aquabat wrote:
    snipped
    Why did TerrorKitty's girlfriend decide to subject him to such a cruel joke? It's because she was lurking yesterday and read this, and then decided that it'll make a funny joke.
    The answer is simple. Your girlfriend is setting up all these panty antics, and wants to have an orgy with you and all of the girls. You know what to do....
    I hope you're happy with yourself, Chocolate. May you burn in hell for all eternity. Bringing a man an inch away from heaven, only to be awoken with a cold glass of water. You vile vile man.


    Britney, if you're reading this: So....

    So, you're TerrorKitty and aquabat is I dont care just where? Or is it the other way around?

    Either way, I thought it was a hilarious (if cruel) joke <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

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  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    The first CD I ever bought was Eiffel 65's "Europop".

    That's pretty fucking embarassing right there.

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  • ElkiElki hegemon globalSuper Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited November 2004
    Richy wrote:
    Elkamil wrote:
    aquabat wrote:
    snipped
    Why did TerrorKitty's girlfriend decide to subject him to such a cruel joke? It's because she was lurking yesterday and read this, and then decided that it'll make a funny joke.
    The answer is simple. Your girlfriend is setting up all these panty antics, and wants to have an orgy with you and all of the girls. You know what to do....
    I hope you're happy with yourself, Chocolate. May you burn in hell for all eternity. Bringing a man an inch away from heaven, only to be awoken with a cold glass of water. You vile vile man.


    Britney, if you're reading this: So....

    So, you're TerrorKitty and aquabat is I dont care just where? Or is it the other way around?

    Either way, I thought it was a hilarious (if cruel) joke <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" />
    Yes, I'm TerrorKitty and aqua is I dont care.

    I'm glad you enjoyed it. <img class=" title=":cry:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Elkamil wrote:
    The meanest joke ever

    Dude, that's worse than the guy whose mom made him think he'd killed a guy. That's just plain cruel.

  • S0upS0up Registered User
    edited November 2004
    A buddy of mine works at a weiner/hot dog place near my school. Couple days ago he was telling me a story of how during the summer he saw the principal walk in with his wife. They order 4 weiners and sat down to wait for their order. While one kid who worked with my buddy decides it would be funny to stick his dick into one of the buns and masturbate INTO the bun itself. So the kid does the deed and gives the principal and his wife their food. The wife ended up eating the sperm hotdog and she didn't say a thing about it. They finished their food, then left.

    Now, I have never been to this place so I am not sure of how he managed to do this without anyone seeing him but I'll tell you, I will never eat there. Even if my life depended on it.

    (I just realized, my two contributions to these threads involve sperm usage)

  • SabreSabre Registered User
    edited November 2004
    Oh my god...Hilarious. Did the teacher find out?

    Not that we know of. He did go back to Maryland the next year, but if the administration ever found out, they did nothing about it.
    S0up wrote:
    A buddy of mine works at a weiner/hot dog place near my school. Couple days ago he was telling me a story of how during the summer he saw the principal walk in with his wife. They order 4 weiners and sit down to wait for their order. While one kid who worked with my buddy decides it would be funny to stick his dick into one of the buns and masturbate INTO the bun itself. So the kid does the deed and gives the principal and his wife their food. The wife ended up eating the sperm hotdog and she didn't say a thing about it. They finished their food, then left.

    Now, I have never been to this place so I am not sure of how he managed to do this without anyone seeing him but I'll tell you, I will never eat there. Even if my life depended on it.

    Goddamnit, I just ATE a fucking hotdog.

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  • BionicPenguinBionicPenguin Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Story #1
    I used to watch WWF (yes, I know it isn't called that anymore) and The Rock had this thing where he'd list off a bunch of pies and stuff. Well, one day my mom baked a pie; she doesn't do this often so I decided to comment on it. I looked right at her and said, "Is that...poontang pie?". She stared at me. I had no idea what the problem was and told her what the joke was based on. She laughed and that, folks, is how I learned what poontang means.

    Story #2
    My school was doing one of those pick up garbage things and for incentive they offered the class who picked up the most some pizza. Well, my class got a prime location near an old motel. Not only that, several people in my class decided to cheat by using leaves (it was early autumn) to fill up the garbage bags. So we were well in the lead when, near the end, a classmate comes limping past me and a friend and tells us that he had tried grabbing an old chair but had stepped on a nail. Well, the two of us figured that we should get it. So we found said chair and we carefully avoided the nail-filled board and lifted the old thing. We go to take a step when I realize I'm stepping on a nail. "Oh, no! Maybe I noticed in time," I thought. It didn't hurt or anything, I thought I'd stopped before it pierced the whole shoe. Then, after a few steps I noticed that my foot felt kind of wet. In denial, I thought maybe I'd stepped in some water or something. So we're halfway to the garbage bins where all the garbage was being counted when I start feeling some pain in my foot, but I figured I might as well tough it out and carry the chair the rest of the way. So after we drop off the chair I made my way to the office and informed them of my injury. I removed my shoe and found the bottom half of my sock soaked in blood. Fortunately, I'd had a tetanus shot not long before this so I didn't need one that day. You want to know what the kicker is? By the time my friend and I had brought the chair to the garbage bin everyone had already gone inside and it wasn't counted (my class won, anyway). Also, I guess I got off lucky because the nail had gone into the soft part of my foot but the first guy got it in his heel. I was walking normally 3 days later and he was on crutches for 2 weeks.
    Butler wrote:
    The first CD I ever bought was Eiffel 65's "Europop".

    That's pretty fucking embarassing right there.
    I can beat that. Hanson was my favourite band when I was 12.

  • QuelrethQuelreth Registered User
    edited November 2004
    That was friggin' hilarious, Elkamil.

    Last night was a party at my apartment. Now, as you'd probably expect by the fact that I post on these boards, I'm not a big fan of parties. Me and a friend of mine stepped outside to have a smoke. My apartment's on the second floor, outside the door is a balcony type thing. Across from the balcony are the patios of the opposing building. There are blinds on the windows. At this point in time the blinds were open.

    So we're standing there smoking, we look across into the neighbor's place, and one of them is in there. Without pants. Or panties. See, this had the potential to be a very good thing, except this neighbor was overweight and wholly unattractive. She looked like one of those girls who wears too tight shirts even though she's got no business doing so. My friend and I are dying, I'm trying my best not to look. A minute or so later, I look over again, and she's pulling up her shirt.

    Just before she reaches the goodies, she pauses and looks over at me. Then she continues. :shock:

    At this point I'm crying. I turn around until I finish my cigarette, and just before I go back in I sneak one more peek to see if she's finally put on some clothes.

    She's stretching shirtless in front of the mirror. <img class=" title=":cry:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

  • RaizokRaizok Registered User
    edited November 2004
    Awesome Quelreth. The only thing I've got that is similar was when I was walking down the neighborhood at night with my cousin and we saw a house with a porno playing on a big 50" tv. Clear view, no blinds.

  • Thought PolicemanThought Policeman Registered User
    edited November 2004
    Quelreth wrote:
    That was friggin' hilarious, Elkamil.

    Last night was a party at my apartment. Now, as you'd probably expect by the fact that I post on these boards, I'm not a big fan of parties. Me and a friend of mine stepped outside to have a smoke. My apartment's on the second floor, outside the door is a balcony type thing. Across from the balcony are the patios of the opposing building. There are blinds on the windows. At this point in time the blinds were open.

    So we're standing there smoking, we look across into the neighbor's place, and one of them is in there. Without pants. Or panties. See, this had the potential to be a very good thing, except this neighbor was overweight and wholly unattractive. She looked like one of those girls who wears too tight shirts even though she's got no business doing so. My friend and I are dying, I'm trying my best not to look. A minute or so later, I look over again, and she's pulling up her shirt.

    Just before she reaches the goodies, she pauses and looks over at me. Then she continues. :shock:

    At this point I'm crying. I turn around until I finish my cigarette, and just before I go back in I sneak one more peek to see if she's finally put on some clothes.

    She's stretching shirtless in front of the mirror. <img class=" title=":cry:" class="bbcode_smiley" />


    See, just one more potential consequence of smoking. <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

    celery77 wrote:
    Perhaps the skinny ones get to be part of the inner circle, which secretly controls the rest. Just make the door to the secret chamber really narrow.
    We actually refer to it as the thinner circle, but yeah same concept.
  • RohaqRohaq Registered User regular
    edited November 2004
    Butler wrote:
    The first CD I ever bought was Eiffel 65's "Europop".

    That's pretty fucking embarassing right there.
    I can beat that. Hanson was my favourite band when I was 12.
    The first CD I owned was PJ & Duncan, Let's Get Ready To Rumble. I still own it, and thus, win.
    Quelreth wrote:
    That was friggin' hilarious, Elkamil.

    Last night was a party at my apartment. Now, as you'd probably expect by the fact that I post on these boards, I'm not a big fan of parties. Me and a friend of mine stepped outside to have a smoke. My apartment's on the second floor, outside the door is a balcony type thing. Across from the balcony are the patios of the opposing building. There are blinds on the windows. At this point in time the blinds were open.

    So we're standing there smoking, we look across into the neighbor's place, and one of them is in there. Without pants. Or panties. See, this had the potential to be a very good thing, except this neighbor was overweight and wholly unattractive. She looked like one of those girls who wears too tight shirts even though she's got no business doing so. My friend and I are dying, I'm trying my best not to look. A minute or so later, I look over again, and she's pulling up her shirt.

    Just before she reaches the goodies, she pauses and looks over at me. Then she continues. :shock:

    At this point I'm crying. I turn around until I finish my cigarette, and just before I go back in I sneak one more peek to see if she's finally put on some clothes.

    She's stretching shirtless in front of the mirror. <img class=" title=":cry:" class="bbcode_smiley" />


    See, just one more potential consequence of smoking. <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" />
    It would make a goddamned great 'Stop smoking' ad, wouldn't it? ;)

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