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Strange & Embarrassing Moments Mk. II
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More embarassing stories! I demand them!
Story 2: More of sort of an ackward story here. Before the age of 12, I had a crazy habit of breaking bones. It happened 9 times, with arms, feet, wrists and legs. I can't remember all of them since I was very young for some.
But a few months ago, I heard my dad tell me a new one. My mom had read somewhere that some toddlers had killed themselves playing near a birdbath by pulling the big concrete top part off onto themselves. She talked to my dad about it since we had one in our yard, but he wasn't too concerned. Until he saw me playing near the birdbath, sort of trying to look up in it by grabbing the edge. He rushed forward to get me off of it, but his grip broke my arm in the process.
Knowing my dad, I'm certain that it was as he said, an accident. And I couldn't care less about it, especially because I was too young to remember. Also, I don't really mind that he didn't mention the incident until now. As a little kid, I probably wouldn't have been able to communicate that it was an accident very well. Having me going around saying "my dad broke my arm when I was little" would have been a little more trouble than it was worth.
So here's the trouble. What do you say to that? I would feel really really crappy for accidentally breaking my son's arm. But if I mentioned that it could seem like a really scathing sarcastic remark, along the lines of "hah you felt bad? I had my arm broken!" So I just sort of said "huh, I didn't know about that" and kept quiet.
You know what's sad?
When I read that sttory, this thought process came to mind: "Was it in her or the wine bottle?"
I had the same thought process. Cept without the in her part.
Me: That's like the one way of dying I am most afraid of.
Him: You mean like asphyxiation?
Me: No.
Him: Or drowning?
Me: No, like being underwater and having an octupus or a squid come up and wrap its tentacles around you and maul you to death.
Him: ...... o_O
Me: What?
so my friend's sister is in the bathroom and the guy rob and i are standing around talking. there's a ten-second pause in our conversation and we're just sort of standing there fidgeting.
all of a sudden, we hear the loudest shit come from the bathroom my friend's sister is in, followed quickly by a flush, as if she were trying to hide the flatulence with the flush but was a little off with the timing.
rob and i were laughing for about ten minutes straight after that.
i'd understand if you guys don't believe this story, though, since girls don't poo.
This is exactly why bathrooms should always be isolated from any high-traffic areas in the house. Everyone takes loud shits but it's still embarrassing if someone hears you.
So, I recently broke up with my girlfriend and, last weekend, I went going to see the Chronicles of Narnia with a new ladyfriend. We're not dating, but...you know, there's interest.
At any rate, I made the mistake of telling my friends about this. As ladyfriend and I are walking out of the theater after the movie, my two friends drive up to us in the parking lot and start circling us in their car with the windows down and What is Love? blasting.
I just laughed. It would have been embarrassing if all of us weren't as comfortable with one another as we are, but as it stood, I just laughed and commended their dedication.
Chris never saw the sex doll. Someone stole it and took it home before he got out of the building.
So, that ladyfriend previously mentioned is at my house. We are admiring the Christmas tree when my cat walks past and I pick him up, explaining how he sometimes tries to climb it. Then, I jokingly pretend to put him on the tree. His response is not-so-joking, however, as he sprays his putrid cat-scent all over me. And it is rancid. If you have smelled this scent without gagging, I commend you.
So, I go upstairs to remedy the situation with a quick change of clothes. It's not that bad, right? Well, it wouldn't have been...but what do I find when I get upstairs but cat barf everywhere. At least five seperate piles. It was not fucking there that morning. So, I change my clothes and spend about half an hour trying to rub the stuff out of the carpet.
Luckily, ladyfriend is just laughing and taking it in stride. Finally, though, I finish and it's all cleaned. Assuring her I will be right back, I go to take my rancid old clothes down to the washer.
And what happens there?
I step in another pile of fresh cat barf.
I'm no longer a cat person.
Dude... what's wrong with your cat?
But... why are they puking so much? I don't think that's normal...
Dude, your cats have some kind of horrible disease.
But anyway....
They run around puking? I know that's horrible, and I should feel terrible, but I can't help but laugh at the mental image of this cat running around, heaving chunks as it goes, unable to stop itself.
"Ohgod I'm puking! Somebody help me! Sweet Jesus I can't stop! You! You over there! Make me stop! Ohgodagain...!"
...I'm a terrible man.
http://www.pawsonline.info/grasseating.htm
Of course, Girls don't poop, and when they pee, it's pink and smells like flowers..................and then I got married......
No single untruth in my life, not even Santa Claus, disappointed me more than the above. Once they are comfortable enough to break wind in the same room as you, you're screwed. All of a sudden, the floodgates of gross goings-on occurs and nothing left in life is quite as beautiful again.
But in all seriousness, ewie. I tend to avoid standing around populated bathrooms for such reasons. If I feel some noise coming on, I tend to blast the nearest faucet until things settle down.
so now i have a fatty blister.
gg, me.
It's tempting, but let's not derail the thread again.
"let's be like moriarty!"
i've taught them well.
You hurting other people or yourself is no longer strange. You seem to do it all the time. Also, you dont seem the least embarrased by it. So perhaps you should start a new thread entitled "Me being an idiot"?.
i'm seriously so unhappy about this cigar burn, though.
it's on the palm of my dick hand.
a.k.a. my left hand.
another strange thing that happened last night was when i got pulled over at two in the morning for not having a front license plate and having expired tags. and i had a wee bit of beer in me. i also had no proof of insurance. i just like, i totally have it somewhere.
and i didn't get a ticket. unf unf unf.
So much for giving up the sarcasm there, Thanatos. Good job, there. I'm not even slightly surprised.
Every week the guy comes in here and tells some story about how he acted like a stupid jackass while drunk. What do you expect?
I dont think his quotes had anything to do sardines
*cough*
So one time on this forum someone said
and i replied with
and it was really fucking stupid
it was pretty strange and slightly embarrassing.
but i'm only mentioning this because i think you could use some, krys.
I think thats pretty embarassing.
Damn. Lighten up dude