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Great Moments in Tabletop Gaming
redstormpopcorn
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
In this thread, you will share your most hilarious and/or awesome experiences that occurred during a good ol' Cheetos & Mountain Dew gaming session.
Rules:
1. It need not be D&D, or any RPG for that matter. Card games, war games, anything that doesn't require an electronic interface is welcome.
2. Please try to keep technical terms to a minimum. Few will find your feats of daring or hilarity impressive if they can't understand what the hell is going on.
3. As of Page 12, there is to be no mention of Jar-Jar Binks.
Suggested reading:The Head of Vecna, Eric and the Vicious Gazebo.
____________________________________________________________
My stories; D&D 3rd. Ed.
Our party was camping overnight, on the road. Our rogue wakes the rest of us up to the sight of an eleven-foot-tall water elemental heading for our campfire. We let it smother the fire and evaporate to about 6 feet. This gives our cleric an idea; we take our remaining firewood and any twigs we can find & build another fire. I (the fighter) slap enough out of the elemental between the initial fire's destruction and the time the new fire gets going to reduce it by another foot and quite a few HP. I back off, allow it to drown out the new fire, and reduce itself to about two feet. By this point, it's pretty pissed off at us for making so many goddamn fires. It turns its attention towards the cleric. She throws her bedroll onto the elemental. One bizarre Bounty ad later, we have ourselves a water elemental trapped in a sleeping bag.
Two weeks later, we're in a wintry valley forest. We camp out for the night, and when we wake up the next day, the forest is on fire. Apparently our nemesis has mind-controlled a small village of azers, who have torched everything around us. After dispatching a few flaming dwarves, we're rewarded with one of their kilts. It, like most attire of discerning azers, has a natural resistance to fire. Our fight has concluded, but the fact that we are still in a forest that is on fire comes to the forefront of the party's attention. Where others see burning timber, I see opportunity. I grab the elemental-filled bedroll, wring it out onto the kilt, and have our cleric cast Create Water on it several times. The result was a well-dressed, hulking H2O monstrosity hell-bent on fighting fire.
We made a hasty escape from the area, breached the villain's tower, killed him (which rather angered our DM, since he wasn't supposed to die until near the end of the campaign), stuffed half of his body into a Heward's Handy Haversack (like a bag of holding, but in backpack form) with his legs sticking out, high-tailed it through the ebony spire that was crashing down around us, and looted his corpse when we reached the bottom.
Now, it's your turn.
Rules:
1. It need not be D&D, or any RPG for that matter. Card games, war games, anything that doesn't require an electronic interface is welcome.
2. Please try to keep technical terms to a minimum. Few will find your feats of daring or hilarity impressive if they can't understand what the hell is going on.
3. As of Page 12, there is to be no mention of Jar-Jar Binks.
Suggested reading:The Head of Vecna, Eric and the Vicious Gazebo.
____________________________________________________________
My stories; D&D 3rd. Ed.
Our party was camping overnight, on the road. Our rogue wakes the rest of us up to the sight of an eleven-foot-tall water elemental heading for our campfire. We let it smother the fire and evaporate to about 6 feet. This gives our cleric an idea; we take our remaining firewood and any twigs we can find & build another fire. I (the fighter) slap enough out of the elemental between the initial fire's destruction and the time the new fire gets going to reduce it by another foot and quite a few HP. I back off, allow it to drown out the new fire, and reduce itself to about two feet. By this point, it's pretty pissed off at us for making so many goddamn fires. It turns its attention towards the cleric. She throws her bedroll onto the elemental. One bizarre Bounty ad later, we have ourselves a water elemental trapped in a sleeping bag.
Two weeks later, we're in a wintry valley forest. We camp out for the night, and when we wake up the next day, the forest is on fire. Apparently our nemesis has mind-controlled a small village of azers, who have torched everything around us. After dispatching a few flaming dwarves, we're rewarded with one of their kilts. It, like most attire of discerning azers, has a natural resistance to fire. Our fight has concluded, but the fact that we are still in a forest that is on fire comes to the forefront of the party's attention. Where others see burning timber, I see opportunity. I grab the elemental-filled bedroll, wring it out onto the kilt, and have our cleric cast Create Water on it several times. The result was a well-dressed, hulking H2O monstrosity hell-bent on fighting fire.
We made a hasty escape from the area, breached the villain's tower, killed him (which rather angered our DM, since he wasn't supposed to die until near the end of the campaign), stuffed half of his body into a Heward's Handy Haversack (like a bag of holding, but in backpack form) with his legs sticking out, high-tailed it through the ebony spire that was crashing down around us, and looted his corpse when we reached the bottom.
Now, it's your turn.
redstormpopcorn on
BELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF
Posts
There was a back and forth game going on.
This twelve year old kid yells, after having a creature killed "I keep pulling this game out of my ass, and you just keep cramming it back up there."
It was funny.
Other Guy (who knew nothing of original D&D): So, the GM is here, what should I tell him you want to play?
Me: Oh, an elf
OG: Elvennnnnnnn.......?
Me: .....elf.
OG: No, no, and elven what?
Me: ELF, GODDAMMIT.
At which the other guy hung up. It's kinda stupid now that I think back to it, but it does make me smile.
I will say however, as a DM, it's amazing how long you can keep your party occupied by placing a single apple in the middle of a stairway.
For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. -- Also Carl Sagan
Steam ID: SirToons 3DS: 3024-5277-3254 Twitch: SirToons
I rolled a 100.
I'm playing a character called Lodedz, who is essentially a ripoff of Lobo (my favorite comic character ever). In my group is the Boogieman, a demon who's made both heaven and hell very pissed off. Anywho, he and I and the rest of hte party were flying over the antarctic when an angel shows up on the wing. The Boogieman freaks out, rips open the cabin door, and bolts out (he can fly). I frantically try to bring the plane down as he spends like 15 minutes dodging the Angel with the requisite Flaming Sword o' Doom. Lodedz hops out, rather pissed off that the angel is attacking the one member of the group he gets along with, and as they get near to our crash/landing site, I tell him through our communicators to head my way. I then leaped about 400 feet in the air as he flies by, and smashed the angel down *hard* (critical success on my jump roll, critical success on my to hit roll with double damage). So, Mr. Flamey the Angel goes plummeting downwards like a comet, smashing into the arctic shelf, buried waste deep in ice. Then, from about 400 feet, I land on him. The Boogieman and I then spend the next ten minutes literally beating the shit out of an incapacitated angel. Hoorah.
D&D 3rd ed.
My first game of D&D ever. I was a Lwaful Good Dwarf Cleric, and we were exploring a cavern laden with traps and skeletons. One of the party's Rogues had missed a rockfall trap, and was currently sealed behind a good amount of rocks. Well, I had the domain spell "Soften Stone" so I figured, what they hey. I used the spell, and about half the rocks liquified then resolidified... around my legs. Our fighter spent the next three hours chipping my Dwarf out of the rock with his greatsword.
D&D 3rd ed.
The last game for my Dwarf Cleric (a different character). We had been captured by the Dark Elves, who wanted us to capture a powerful Cleric for them. My character has a pathological hatred of Elves, so that they had been forced to hogtie and gag me. Anywho, a deal gets worked out and our party recieves our weapons back. They've untied me, and I'm standing in front of the Dark Elf King and around 50 Dark Elf Warriors. The king is forming a spell and the army has bows and other such implements of doom aimed at me as I recieve my weapons back. So what do I do? I immediately charge at the Dark Elf King and got Incinerated. Good times.
but in all seriousness, the only thing I really do is more freeform stuff on forums and the like. I don't have any interesting stories, I'm afraid.
I got nothin'.
1) Two characters I'm GM'ing are wiping out as bandit hideout in some caves. As they make their way through, they finally wipe out any major resistance and commence looting. They find the bandit leader covering under his bed screaming "Take it all! Let me live! I'll tell you where it is!"
Player A: I jump on the bed, laughing, and point my gun at him from above.
GM: The bed splinters and you hear a sickening gurgle from beneath your feet.
Players: What?!
GM: You are wearing a few hundred pounds of power armor.
A: Oh. That.
2) My favorite character was a Crazy: an enhanced supersoldier whose physical powers come from dramatically enhanced brain functions. They're pretty damn tough to start with, but get more and more insane as they gain levels and get various mental phychoses from a handy table. Needless to say, this makes them a lot of fun to play. He eventually gained, among other things: a germ phobia, a fear of blood, minor kleptomania, and an urge to take various mechanical things apart to see how they worked (but never to put them back together again). So he'd walk around wearing latex gloves, spraying everything he came in contact with with Lysol (even other people), take apart the group's equipment and steal a length of wire or a gear so whoever found the pile of parts couldn't completely repair it.
His moment of glory consisted of when he almost single-handedly hijacked a giant troop transport, killed most of the crew, and never did dispose of the bodies despite his best intentions. That's a story for another day.
My Steam profile | My TF2 items
Kinda-sorta-almost funny AD&D story before I head out to do paperwork-- I was DM'ing, and my party was, for some reason I can't entirely recall at the moment, raiding a pirate cove. The leader of the pirates was an unusually magically powerful barbarian with an earring fetish. He was stupendously strong, very magic resistant, and apparently able to cast spells at will in the middle of combat.
As most of these fights tend to do, it ended with the party's wizard incenerating the pirate captain in a fireball from hell. Invesigating the pirate's corpse for phat lewts, they found the secret to his remarkable powers-- a pixie girl trapped within one of his oversized earrings. Or, rather, her quite irrecoverable corpse.
Sadly, the party's cleric-- thier -lawful evil- cleric had spent most of this fight in the captain's quarters, conversing with the pixie girl's mate, the fairy creature desprately trying to convince the cleric to save her.
For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. -- Also Carl Sagan
You don't need to know the rules at all to play a tabletop game if you got a good DM. They will step you through it, and all you really need to know is the basics of your character sheet... but even then, with new players it will be a lot of "Let me see your sheet really quick." "OK, yeah, you can do that."
Anywho, we were about to play a game when he showed up, so we let him play. I don't remember the module, but all throughout there was mention of this powerful ring and what it could do and all this. Our mission was the get the ring from its current owner and return it to someone.
Anyway, it was a long game where we went through all kinds of hell. We finally made it to the last room with a huge fight. Things turned sour and we were getting our asses kicked. We all went down, one by one, until the only character left was Jim's fighter. It was obviously hopeless, so Ray, the DM, started hinting that maybe he should do something with the ring (like put it on), which was sitting in the middle of the room on a pedestal. Jim's response:
"I raise my sword over my head and strike the ring as hard as I can."
Our mouths all dropped open. Ray gave his little disbelieving laugh he does and says, "Okay.... You cleave the ring in two, releasing it's power which incinerates everything within miles. You're dead. Hand me your character sheet."
At this point, Jim becomes enraged (he became unusually attached to his characters, part of being a Jonser) and started yelling something like, "That's bullshit! You're always screwing with me." Ray said, "No, I'm not. Just like always, you sloped your forhead (our term for morons, slopes, referring to cavemen), swung your sword and said kill kill kill."
Jim stood up really quickly, grabbed his chair and held it over his head, like he was about to smack Ray with it. Well, he bumped into the table, knocking over his Sprite, which proceeded to run down his crotch looking like he pissed himself. His chair also hit the ceiling causing little white flecks to slowly rain down on his head while he stood there holding a chair in the air with a wet crotch.
We're all dying laughing at this point. He slowly puts his chair back down, walks out the door, and that was the last time I saw him. I laugh everytime I see that image in my head.
even I wouldn't cut a friggin' ring that grants you huge levels of power in half. I might not wear it if there's a risk of it turning you evil and stuff, but I sure as hell wouldn't chop it in half.
:lol:
They called themselves the Vulgar Seven.
This was the same game in which one of the characters, pre-munchkining, was a Son of Ether who had the belief that vampires were the fundamental building blocks of the universe, and so used them as components to make things, like barcaloungers.
Yeah, I was shocked.
your sister is awesome beyond reason.
not because of how fucked up she is. BECAUSE SHE'S THAT FUCKED UP AT SIX.
she's the nongamer version of annarchy, from the january 31st comic. pure awesome in a tiny female package.
Just so those who don't play the game understand, let me explain what exactly this involves: I rolled ninety-six dice. On any one of these ninety six dice, I had to roll a four or better twice. The other player then had to roll a one or a two. Statistically, I should have killed about sixteen Marines (there were only six in the squad; I should have eaten him for lunch.)
Recommended reading:
Animalball Contests. Funny stuff.
See, the difference between you and me is that i would have destroyed the ring and yelled "SUCCESS" and everything blew to holy hell.
Anyway...
So i am playing a Femore one shot(bad guys in WW: The apo) and we are in a squad of soldiers now defending a science base in the jungle There were three different character we played in three different situations (science team, soldiers, admin).
Anyway one of the players hadnt played any PnP before(and really, i hadnt much either, but i am intelligent) and is playing the soldiers squad leader. I am playing a four armed monstrosity that is overly agressive, attacks at the slighest provication and is holding a mini-gun you would normally find on the top of a tank in two of the arms. We are in a bunker and there are wolves all through the area we are looking over, a bunch of power generators. I of course am clammoring to be shooting.
The commander turns to me and says "If you are going to shoot something, shoot this" and hands me a pistol(i had just hurled a grenade). So of couse, i pick up the pistol, start screaming and shooting into the shadows moving between the generators. The SL is trying to get me to stop unsuccessfully, picks up his pistol and shoots me in the foot.
*pause*
GM: Are you sure you want to do that?
Me: Are you sure you want to do that?
Him: yes
*Un-pause*
I turn toward the SL and unload my mini-gun into his face. Needless to say, i was in charge from then on.
Later in the game, a friend of mines character who had been in Nam, walked up to a werewolf, hit him with his shotgun (which still had ammo), threw it on the ground and yelled "FIGHT LIKE A MAN" while he proceeded to lose a match of fisticuffs to a Chrinos
Seriously, though, that's pretty awesome. Just goes to show that when the orks hit, they really hit.
Goddamn, I love Terminators.
In the same session, our dear entropomancer, Lewis, was butt-raped, shot himself in the head AND SURVIVED, blew up a strip club, and dug up a dead body for the Kevlar it was wearing. I think that may also have been the same adventure where my own character, Sabrina, muted (yes, tuned off the sound) a dying man who had been shot in the throat and trapped a teenage girl's soul inside a TV.
I love that game. I'm really not even doing it justice.
Once when I was DMing I let out a tremendous fart that erected a minute long shreik from one of the girls playing. It was hilarious at the time...
That's the best I got.
Magic the Gathering booster draft, set is Legions, my opponent has this white weenie deck that's keeping me from attacking because I can't afford the losses. I have a blue and black wizard deck with blood celebrants because I splashed red and green. I drafted 3 slivers which are in my deck, magma sliver, quick sliver, and shifting sliver.
I had a slow start, so we're sitting in a stalemate, each with 10+ creatures out. At the end of his turn I cast the quick sliver, then magma sliver. My turn I cast the shifting sliver, and I already have a mistform wakecaster out.
The shifting sliver makes all slivers unblockable.
The magma sliver gives all slivers "tap to give target creature +X/+0 where X is slivers in play."
Wakecaster has "pay mana: all creatures you control become creature type of your choice."
I deal 213 damage in 1 turn. In a draft.
I also tend to have too many drinks while playing which to this point in our campaign hasn't gotten me killed, but has tended to add magical effects to the items I found. example...I am playing what I call a Bardbarian (bard 8, Barbarian 1) and I get celestian chain. I hear the DM say that it can fly so I write down "fly at will" turns out it is only once per day. I ended up only cheating for one game session until I realized my mistake. My DM has also started awarding XP at the beginning of the night from the previous nights action, because I somehow ended up having about 3000 xp more than the rest of the party. Don't ask me to add when I have a little of the captain in me.
A friend of mine was getting bored waiting for the Johnson to show, so his character wandered over to where we were chatting about the game and said something along the lines of "I can't believe you guys can have a conversation about this crap. Professional sports are stupid and boring."
Everyone in the bar (which was a pretty rough place) suddenly fell silent and turned to stare at my friend's character... and, reacting quickly, he said: "That's what I'd say if I didn't like sports!" and totally defused the situation. (Our GM was both goofy and forgiving about stuff like this)
It's not terribly funny in retrospect, but the spontaneity of that response had us all in stitches for several minutes, and earned him a point of Karma.
Maybe it's the laser guided lasers, or the elevator disasters.... :roll:
Knowing Ray, it probably would've let him do something along the lines of bring us all back to life, kill the bad guys, or something similar then quit working for him. We just couldn't believe Jim's first instinct was to cleave the ring, especially when Ray was practically telling him to put it on.
It makes him so mad. It's so funny.
猿も木から落ちる
First off, I play a smart hero- an unusually stealthy ex-national guardsman who likes guns, a lot- eventually becoming a mage.
So, we spend the first session releasing a rather odd millionaire art-dealer from a bunch of kidnappers, he then asks us to be his "bodyguard" in a meeting with the person who ordered his kidnapping in central park. Our sniper sets himself up in a tree-blind a long ways off, our fast hero disguises himself as a hobo and hides in a cardboard box in the bushes near the meeting site, and I and our 'soldier' stay in our minivan just a bit down the road.
So, our target arrives in a limo guarded by a pair of smaller sedans, they get out, and walk down towards our employer. I, the clever bastard that I am, decide to quietly make my way towards the limo, and unlock the door. I do this, getting amazing rolls, I get in, manage to critical the driver with my silenced mini-uzi, proceed to take his hat and stuff him into the passenger's seat where he can't be seen.
Meanwhile, all hell breaks loose, our employer gets attacked by the villain and a large group of bugbear bodyguards in trenchcoats. Our undercover hobo proceeds to go 'rodney king' on them with his nightstick while the sniper picks them off. The badguy takes off running to the limo, the guy still in the van takes a few potshots at him, but only manages a small wound or two.
So, he quickly jumps into the limo, shouts to me to "step on it". However, one of the tires managed to get popped, so I fumble my driving test.
I step on the gas and proceed to smash into the car directly in front of me. Fortunetely I was able to keep my gun on the badguy, after which we took his clothes and left him in the bronx with a racist sandwich-board a la "Die Hard 3"
Now this is our next session, we lost the soldier and gain a blaxploitation fast-hero. We're hired to retrieve a certain disk from a neo-nazi-infested warehouse. We manage to infiltrate it easily enough through the skylight, critting the only sentry on the catwalks. We make our way downstairs, but are spotted. After a long firefight, our brutha runs outside, goes in through the front garage door, and jacks the delivery van inside, which turns out to be filled to the brim with automatic weapons.
At this point, the guards start dropping like flies, and the boss starts making his way out the garage. So Shaft jr. decides to step on the gas and run him down, unfortunately, he doesn't get enough speed to do any damage, and just knocks him over, after which he runs off into a sedan. The rest of the group, having finished the guards, jumps into the van and gives chase. On the road, We keep barely keep up with him, while another two cars give chase. One of us has a sack full of caltrops, gives a liberal spreading on the road, both cars lose all their tires and fail their driving tests, and proceed to smack into eachother in a fiery explosion.
So we chase the guy up to an intersection, he slows down to turn, and our driver gets a bright idea.
He fucking T-bones the guy, all of us take damage, I end up below 0, and the villain ends up with a steering-column through his chest. After quickly patching ourselves, we nonchalantly grab the disk, load whatever guns we can into our van, and drive off to SAFETY!
Finally... After a nightclub shootout in which we do rather pathetically (I end up at 1/21 hp, other characters end up getting knocked out at least once), the badguy runs to his limo, the employer for the job tells us she'll double our pay if we kill him. So, our fast hero tosses a Thermite grenade into the limo's still-open door. While it manages to do major damage to the limo, our nemesis saves and ducks out the door as it explodes.
So, Mr. T hops on his dirtbike, while the rest of us get into our custom-armored hummvee.
We just barely keep up with him, and make our way to the Brooklyn bridge while being chased by SWAT teams. We finally manage to take out his tires, but the driver passes his checks. So I load a pair of explosive shells into my shotgun, lean out the window with one hand on the wheel, and fire. The rear of the limo tears off due to the thermite damage, and he crashes into the side of the bridge. I stop, and back up, trying to push it the rest of the way off.
Meanwhile, our blaxploitation clichee does something absolutely awesome. He jumps up onto the roof of the limo, and manages to run over the guy we were chasing. He gets knocked off the side, and the villain just barely manages to put me down to 0 health. For my partial action, I step on the gas, pushing the limo off the bridge.
Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: WaffleMous#1483