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Great Moments in Tabletop Gaming

redstormpopcornredstormpopcorn Registered User regular
edited December 2009 in Ancient Forum Knowledge
In this thread, you will share your most hilarious and/or awesome experiences that occurred during a good ol' Cheetos & Mountain Dew gaming session.

Rules:

1. It need not be D&D, or any RPG for that matter. Card games, war games, anything that doesn't require an electronic interface is welcome.

2. Please try to keep technical terms to a minimum. Few will find your feats of daring or hilarity impressive if they can't understand what the hell is going on.

3. As of Page 12, there is to be no mention of Jar-Jar Binks.


Suggested reading:The Head of Vecna, Eric and the Vicious Gazebo.

____________________________________________________________

My stories; D&D 3rd. Ed.

Our party was camping overnight, on the road. Our rogue wakes the rest of us up to the sight of an eleven-foot-tall water elemental heading for our campfire. We let it smother the fire and evaporate to about 6 feet. This gives our cleric an idea; we take our remaining firewood and any twigs we can find & build another fire. I (the fighter) slap enough out of the elemental between the initial fire's destruction and the time the new fire gets going to reduce it by another foot and quite a few HP. I back off, allow it to drown out the new fire, and reduce itself to about two feet. By this point, it's pretty pissed off at us for making so many goddamn fires. It turns its attention towards the cleric. She throws her bedroll onto the elemental. One bizarre Bounty ad later, we have ourselves a water elemental trapped in a sleeping bag.

Two weeks later, we're in a wintry valley forest. We camp out for the night, and when we wake up the next day, the forest is on fire. Apparently our nemesis has mind-controlled a small village of azers, who have torched everything around us. After dispatching a few flaming dwarves, we're rewarded with one of their kilts. It, like most attire of discerning azers, has a natural resistance to fire. Our fight has concluded, but the fact that we are still in a forest that is on fire comes to the forefront of the party's attention. Where others see burning timber, I see opportunity. I grab the elemental-filled bedroll, wring it out onto the kilt, and have our cleric cast Create Water on it several times. The result was a well-dressed, hulking H2O monstrosity hell-bent on fighting fire.

We made a hasty escape from the area, breached the villain's tower, killed him (which rather angered our DM, since he wasn't supposed to die until near the end of the campaign), stuffed half of his body into a Heward's Handy Haversack (like a bag of holding, but in backpack form) with his legs sticking out, high-tailed it through the ebony spire that was crashing down around us, and looted his corpse when we reached the bottom.


Now, it's your turn.

redstormpopcorn on
emot-kamina.gif BELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF emot-kamina.gif
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Posts

  • RenzoRenzo Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    That sounds absolutely hilarious. I wish I had a story to share, but I've never PnP'd before. And I swear that if I ever did, nothing that cool would ever happen.

    FFXIV/Sargatanas/Wintry Ptarmigan
    3DS: 3351-5352-0314
  • deadonthestreetdeadonthestreet Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    One time I was at a M:TG tourney.

    There was a back and forth game going on.

    This twelve year old kid yells, after having a creature killed "I keep pulling this game out of my ass, and you just keep cramming it back up there."

    It was funny.

  • A steak!A steak! Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited February 2005
    Once the group I was in decided to run some old D&D mods just for the heck of it, and the following conversation happened over the phone:

    Other Guy (who knew nothing of original D&D): So, the GM is here, what should I tell him you want to play?
    Me: Oh, an elf
    OG: Elvennnnnnnn.......?
    Me: .....elf.
    OG: No, no, and elven what?
    Me: ELF, GODDAMMIT.

    At which the other guy hung up. It's kinda stupid now that I think back to it, but it does make me smile.

    Favorite quotes
    Spoiler:
  • Nfinit VylenceNfinit Vylence Registered User
    edited February 2005
    I've been playing these for years, and there've been too many great moments for me to be able to recall a single one.

    I will say however, as a DM, it's amazing how long you can keep your party occupied by placing a single apple in the middle of a stairway.

    The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides. -- Carl Sagan

    For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. -- Also Carl Sagan
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    ROLLIN 20'S

    Xbox Live: OGSirToons PSN: NoGreatName Bnet Tag: SirToons#1214 NNID: SirToons
    Steam ID: SirToons 3DS: 3024-5277-3254 Twitch: SirToons check.php?c=sirtoons
  • temptemp Registered User
    edited February 2005
    NNNNNNNNNNNERDS

  • deadonthestreetdeadonthestreet Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    I had a 99 save vs death.

    I rolled a 100.

  • LibrarianThorneLibrarianThorne Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    Marvel RPG:

    I'm playing a character called Lodedz, who is essentially a ripoff of Lobo (my favorite comic character ever). In my group is the Boogieman, a demon who's made both heaven and hell very pissed off. Anywho, he and I and the rest of hte party were flying over the antarctic when an angel shows up on the wing. The Boogieman freaks out, rips open the cabin door, and bolts out (he can fly). I frantically try to bring the plane down as he spends like 15 minutes dodging the Angel with the requisite Flaming Sword o' Doom. Lodedz hops out, rather pissed off that the angel is attacking the one member of the group he gets along with, and as they get near to our crash/landing site, I tell him through our communicators to head my way. I then leaped about 400 feet in the air as he flies by, and smashed the angel down *hard* (critical success on my jump roll, critical success on my to hit roll with double damage). So, Mr. Flamey the Angel goes plummeting downwards like a comet, smashing into the arctic shelf, buried waste deep in ice. Then, from about 400 feet, I land on him. The Boogieman and I then spend the next ten minutes literally beating the shit out of an incapacitated angel. Hoorah.

    D&D 3rd ed.

    My first game of D&D ever. I was a Lwaful Good Dwarf Cleric, and we were exploring a cavern laden with traps and skeletons. One of the party's Rogues had missed a rockfall trap, and was currently sealed behind a good amount of rocks. Well, I had the domain spell "Soften Stone" so I figured, what they hey. I used the spell, and about half the rocks liquified then resolidified... around my legs. Our fighter spent the next three hours chipping my Dwarf out of the rock with his greatsword.

    D&D 3rd ed.

    The last game for my Dwarf Cleric (a different character). We had been captured by the Dark Elves, who wanted us to capture a powerful Cleric for them. My character has a pathological hatred of Elves, so that they had been forced to hogtie and gag me. Anywho, a deal gets worked out and our party recieves our weapons back. They've untied me, and I'm standing in front of the Dark Elf King and around 50 Dark Elf Warriors. The king is forming a spell and the army has bows and other such implements of doom aimed at me as I recieve my weapons back. So what do I do? I immediately charge at the Dark Elf King and got Incinerated. Good times.

  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    well, I certainly wish I could understand tabletop roleplaying...the last time I looked at a rulebook, my head fell off. I managed to gain an android body, although it had to be a cheap model. I'm currently saving up for a transfer into a full hot asian chick android body.

    but in all seriousness, the only thing I really do is more freeform stuff on forums and the like. I don't have any interesting stories, I'm afraid.

  • JazzJazz UKRegistered User regular
    edited February 2005
    I had my entire Ork army wiped out by an Eldar army in one turn. One.

    I got nothin'.

    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Cojones wrote: »
    One last thing... the Protheans were significantly more advanced than the combined council races and they were annihilated by the Reapers. What chance do we have?
    One. Her name is Commander Shepard, and she is very drunk.
    Steam/XBL: JazzMX5
  • BursarBursar 16 tons of #9 coleslaw Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    While playing Rifts:

    1) Two characters I'm GM'ing are wiping out as bandit hideout in some caves. As they make their way through, they finally wipe out any major resistance and commence looting. They find the bandit leader covering under his bed screaming "Take it all! Let me live! I'll tell you where it is!"
    Player A: I jump on the bed, laughing, and point my gun at him from above.
    GM: The bed splinters and you hear a sickening gurgle from beneath your feet.
    Players: What?!
    GM: You are wearing a few hundred pounds of power armor.
    A: Oh. That.

    2) My favorite character was a Crazy: an enhanced supersoldier whose physical powers come from dramatically enhanced brain functions. They're pretty damn tough to start with, but get more and more insane as they gain levels and get various mental phychoses from a handy table. Needless to say, this makes them a lot of fun to play. He eventually gained, among other things: a germ phobia, a fear of blood, minor kleptomania, and an urge to take various mechanical things apart to see how they worked (but never to put them back together again). So he'd walk around wearing latex gloves, spraying everything he came in contact with with Lysol (even other people), take apart the group's equipment and steal a length of wire or a gear so whoever found the pile of parts couldn't completely repair it.
    His moment of glory consisted of when he almost single-handedly hijacked a giant troop transport, killed most of the crew, and never did dispose of the bodies despite his best intentions. That's a story for another day.

    Spoiler:
    My Steam profile | 3DS FC: 0810-0331-1324
    | PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan
  • Nfinit VylenceNfinit Vylence Registered User
    edited February 2005
    Ah, the rulesets are easy. You don't need 90% of what's in those books at any given time, the hardest thing involved is looking up the correct table in the index.

    Kinda-sorta-almost funny AD&D story before I head out to do paperwork-- I was DM'ing, and my party was, for some reason I can't entirely recall at the moment, raiding a pirate cove. The leader of the pirates was an unusually magically powerful barbarian with an earring fetish. He was stupendously strong, very magic resistant, and apparently able to cast spells at will in the middle of combat.

    As most of these fights tend to do, it ended with the party's wizard incenerating the pirate captain in a fireball from hell. Invesigating the pirate's corpse for phat lewts, they found the secret to his remarkable powers-- a pixie girl trapped within one of his oversized earrings. Or, rather, her quite irrecoverable corpse.

    Sadly, the party's cleric-- thier -lawful evil- cleric had spent most of this fight in the captain's quarters, conversing with the pixie girl's mate, the fairy creature desprately trying to convince the cleric to save her.

    The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides. -- Carl Sagan

    For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. -- Also Carl Sagan
  • XieflowXieflow Registered User
    edited February 2005
    yalborap wrote:
    well, I certainly wish I could understand tabletop roleplaying...the last time I looked at a rulebook, my head fell off. I managed to gain an android body, although it had to be a cheap model. I'm currently saving up for a transfer into a full hot asian chick android body.

    but in all seriousness, the only thing I really do is more freeform stuff on forums and the like. I don't have any interesting stories, I'm afraid.

    You don't need to know the rules at all to play a tabletop game if you got a good DM. They will step you through it, and all you really need to know is the basics of your character sheet... but even then, with new players it will be a lot of "Let me see your sheet really quick." "OK, yeah, you can do that."

  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Austin, TXRegistered User regular
    edited February 2005
    There was this guy, we'll call him Jim (because that's his name), that was a member of a group we called Jonsers. Those strange, foul smelling people that do long-sword excercises in the morning after waking up and were always trying to get a game going.

    Anywho, we were about to play a game when he showed up, so we let him play. I don't remember the module, but all throughout there was mention of this powerful ring and what it could do and all this. Our mission was the get the ring from its current owner and return it to someone.

    Anyway, it was a long game where we went through all kinds of hell. We finally made it to the last room with a huge fight. Things turned sour and we were getting our asses kicked. We all went down, one by one, until the only character left was Jim's fighter. It was obviously hopeless, so Ray, the DM, started hinting that maybe he should do something with the ring (like put it on), which was sitting in the middle of the room on a pedestal. Jim's response:

    "I raise my sword over my head and strike the ring as hard as I can."

    Our mouths all dropped open. Ray gave his little disbelieving laugh he does and says, "Okay.... You cleave the ring in two, releasing it's power which incinerates everything within miles. You're dead. Hand me your character sheet."

    At this point, Jim becomes enraged (he became unusually attached to his characters, part of being a Jonser) and started yelling something like, "That's bullshit! You're always screwing with me." Ray said, "No, I'm not. Just like always, you sloped your forhead (our term for morons, slopes, referring to cavemen), swung your sword and said kill kill kill."

    Jim stood up really quickly, grabbed his chair and held it over his head, like he was about to smack Ray with it. Well, he bumped into the table, knocking over his Sprite, which proceeded to run down his crotch looking like he pissed himself. His chair also hit the ceiling causing little white flecks to slowly rain down on his head while he stood there holding a chair in the air with a wet crotch.

    We're all dying laughing at this point. He slowly puts his chair back down, walks out the door, and that was the last time I saw him. I laugh everytime I see that image in my head.

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  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    the fool.

    even I wouldn't cut a friggin' ring that grants you huge levels of power in half. I might not wear it if there's a risk of it turning you evil and stuff, but I sure as hell wouldn't chop it in half.

  • RenzoRenzo Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    Hilarity
    You ever find out what that ring would have done?

    FFXIV/Sargatanas/Wintry Ptarmigan
    3DS: 3351-5352-0314
  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    He slowly puts his chair back down, walks out the door, and that was the last time I saw him.

    :lol:

    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • nozdormunozdormu Registered User
    edited February 2005
    My party and I stumbled upon a dead wizard's teleporting tower. We took ownership of it and had the craziest campaign I've ever played. Hell, it took forever for us to get enough money to pay the fee forced on us by the city's bureaucracy. It also acted as a hub to several worlds and included magic weaponry. That may sound "munchkin" but we were constantly getting into shit over our heads and getting our asses beat. It was great. What was really interesting was when a demon that was kicking our asses did so much damage to the tower that we were stuck in limbo until it repaired itself. In the mean-time we were attacked by outsiders. In the end we participated in a civil war between the mages of a wizard city.

  • mccmcc glitch Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2005
    I don't really have any particularly amusing stories, but the people in my social circle seem to just be full of them. Most of the interesting stories involved this one Mage campaign where in the later stages the characters managed to munchkin themselves up to the point where they were SO powerful they decided to just give up on actually playing the game and dedicate themselves just to accumulating as much paradox as humanly possible. They'd do things like go on a bar crawl and just see how much they could mess up the area in the process, doing things like picking some random guy out of the crowd, dragging him into the Deep Umbra, leaving him there, and then coming back for him 10 minutes later.

    They called themselves the Vulgar Seven.

    This was the same game in which one of the characters, pre-munchkining, was a Son of Ether who had the belief that vampires were the fundamental building blocks of the universe, and so used them as components to make things, like barcaloungers.

  • Saint3kSaint3k Registered User
    edited February 2005
    While playing an intro game of D&D with my cute little 6 year old sister, she gets attacked by town guards at night outside of her room. After she brutally murders them for no good reason, I ask her what she wants to do next. She says, to my astonishment, that she wants to "cut up the bodies and bury them beneath the floor boards in her bed room".

    Yeah, I was shocked.

  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    Saint3k wrote:
    While playing an intro game of D&D with my cute little 6 year old sister, she gets attacked by town guards at night outside of her room. After she brutally murders them for no good reason, I ask her what she wants to do next. She says, to my astonishment, that she wants to "cut up the bodies and bury them beneath the floor boards in her bed room".

    Yeah, I was shocked.

    your sister is awesome beyond reason.

    not because of how fucked up she is. BECAUSE SHE'S THAT FUCKED UP AT SIX.

    she's the nongamer version of annarchy, from the january 31st comic. pure awesome in a tiny female package.

  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    I have charged a 32-strong unit of Hormagaunts into a squad of Marines in 40k, and failed to kill a single one.

    Just so those who don't play the game understand, let me explain what exactly this involves: I rolled ninety-six dice. On any one of these ninety six dice, I had to roll a four or better twice. The other player then had to roll a one or a two. Statistically, I should have killed about sixteen Marines (there were only six in the squad; I should have eaten him for lunch.)

    Recommended reading:
    Animalball Contests. Funny stuff.

    sig.png
  • ToastToast Registered User
    edited February 2005
    Third-ed 40k, orks vs dark angels. It's a night fight with the sentries rule, orks defending. Sounding one-sided yet? Anyway, a grot miraculously manages to raise the alarm, and everything springs to life. Well, as much as orks ever do. The problem is of course that the DA army is fairly shooty and still some way off, and the orks... aren't really shooty, can't hit for shit and have the night fight rules to deal with too. So I charge the ladz forwards, miss with everything, and then decide to take a pot-shot with my dred. The dred spots the squad of Deathwing terminators. The dred lines up its mega-blasta. The dred shoots. The dread hits. The blast template cover two and touches the other three. The other three all get caught in the blast. The dread wounds all five. Insta-death, no save. Turn two, first casualties of the game.. Needless to say, the DA player was pretty pissed.

  • GoumindongGoumindong Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    yalborap wrote:
    the fool.

    even I wouldn't cut a friggin' ring that grants you huge levels of power in half. I might not wear it if there's a risk of it turning you evil and stuff, but I sure as hell wouldn't chop it in half.

    See, the difference between you and me is that i would have destroyed the ring and yelled "SUCCESS" and everything blew to holy hell.

    Anyway...

    So i am playing a Femore one shot(bad guys in WW: The apo) and we are in a squad of soldiers now defending a science base in the jungle There were three different character we played in three different situations (science team, soldiers, admin).

    Anyway one of the players hadnt played any PnP before(and really, i hadnt much either, but i am intelligent) and is playing the soldiers squad leader. I am playing a four armed monstrosity that is overly agressive, attacks at the slighest provication and is holding a mini-gun you would normally find on the top of a tank in two of the arms. We are in a bunker and there are wolves all through the area we are looking over, a bunch of power generators. I of course am clammoring to be shooting.

    The commander turns to me and says "If you are going to shoot something, shoot this" and hands me a pistol(i had just hurled a grenade). So of couse, i pick up the pistol, start screaming and shooting into the shadows moving between the generators. The SL is trying to get me to stop unsuccessfully, picks up his pistol and shoots me in the foot.

    *pause*

    GM: Are you sure you want to do that?
    Me: Are you sure you want to do that?
    Him: yes

    *Un-pause*

    I turn toward the SL and unload my mini-gun into his face. Needless to say, i was in charge from then on.

    Later in the game, a friend of mines character who had been in Nam, walked up to a werewolf, hit him with his shotgun (which still had ammo), threw it on the ground and yelled "FIGHT LIKE A MAN" while he proceeded to lose a match of fisticuffs to a Chrinos

    wbBv3fj.png
  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    Toast wrote:
    The other three all get caught in the blast. The dread wounds all five. Insta-death, no save. Turn two, first casualties of the game.. Needless to say, the DA player was pretty pissed.
    I'd be pretty pissed too if you gipped me out of my 5+ invulnerable. :P

    Seriously, though, that's pretty awesome. Just goes to show that when the orks hit, they really hit.

    sig.png
  • LibrarianThorneLibrarianThorne Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    Second game of Fourth Edition 40k. 1000 points of Blood Angels, 1000 points of Ultramarines (me) and a squad of Guardsmen with a Leman Russ that can only shoot Lascannon and Heavy Bolters have to defend a bridge against 2500 points of Chaos Black Legion. My Terminator squad (7, with an Assault Cannon and Heavy Flamer) teleport onto the bridge while my allies' Whirlwind then begins laying Castellan minefields all around them. Over the next four turns, the Terminators singlehandedly fight off a squad of 15 Chaos Space Marines, a Daemon Prince, and Slaaneshi Daemonettes. At the end of turn 6, when the bridge was destroyed by an orbital strike, I still had the Assault Cannon Terminator left, firing away into yet another squad of Chaos worshipping heretics.

    Goddamn, I love Terminators.

  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    That must have been one pansy-ass Demon Prince.

    sig.png
  • DarkPhoenixDarkPhoenix Registered User
    edited February 2005
    Unknown Armies.

    In the same session, our dear entropomancer, Lewis, was butt-raped, shot himself in the head AND SURVIVED, blew up a strip club, and dug up a dead body for the Kevlar it was wearing. I think that may also have been the same adventure where my own character, Sabrina, muted (yes, tuned off the sound) a dying man who had been shot in the throat and trapped a teenage girl's soul inside a TV.

    I love that game. I'm really not even doing it justice.

    darkphoenix.jpg
  • projectmayhemprojectmayhem Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    This one time i said, "Haste", and my ass got a coke before anyone else.

  • NickTheNewbieNickTheNewbie Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    The other day i almost killed 2 of my party members on 2 consecutive critical misses.

  • DuskTwilightDuskTwilight Registered User
    edited February 2005
    These stories are really cool. I wish I had something to add of note, but I have never really gotten to PLAY any PnP games, yet I own the core rules for DnD3, and Shadowrun.

    Once when I was DMing I let out a tremendous fart that erected a minute long shreik from one of the girls playing. It was hilarious at the time...

    That's the best I got.

  • psionicpsionic Registered User
    edited February 2005
    Long boring M:tG story

    Magic the Gathering booster draft, set is Legions, my opponent has this white weenie deck that's keeping me from attacking because I can't afford the losses. I have a blue and black wizard deck with blood celebrants because I splashed red and green. I drafted 3 slivers which are in my deck, magma sliver, quick sliver, and shifting sliver.

    I had a slow start, so we're sitting in a stalemate, each with 10+ creatures out. At the end of his turn I cast the quick sliver, then magma sliver. My turn I cast the shifting sliver, and I already have a mistform wakecaster out.
    The shifting sliver makes all slivers unblockable.
    The magma sliver gives all slivers "tap to give target creature +X/+0 where X is slivers in play."
    Wakecaster has "pay mana: all creatures you control become creature type of your choice."

    I deal 213 damage in 1 turn. In a draft.

  • 3rdrocket3rdrocket Registered User
    edited February 2005
    I havent been playing D&D all that long, but the one time I was DM my friend pissed me off so I got him all excited saying he tripped over a treasure. I asked if he wanted to pick it up and he said yes. I told him he found a used condom, and he took it. :shock:

    civilwarTR.jpg
  • burritolordburritolord Registered User
    edited February 2005
    D&D 3.5...deck of many things...nuff said. If a DM is getting sick of power hungry gamers all he has to do is drop that little bomb on the party. A good party will come though okay, but a power gamer group will probably all end up in the abyss.

    I also tend to have too many drinks while playing which to this point in our campaign hasn't gotten me killed, but has tended to add magical effects to the items I found. example...I am playing what I call a Bardbarian (bard 8, Barbarian 1) and I get celestian chain. I hear the DM say that it can fly so I write down "fly at will" turns out it is only once per day. I ended up only cheating for one game session until I realized my mistake. My DM has also started awarding XP at the beginning of the night from the previous nights action, because I somehow ended up having about 3000 xp more than the rest of the party. Don't ask me to add when I have a little of the captain in me.

    nachobandit.png
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    Our Shadowrun characters were at a sports bar waiting for a Johnson to meet us, and my character (who was quite a sports fan when he wasn't being a professional criminal) struck up a casual conversation with a group of guys at the bar watching a game.

    A friend of mine was getting bored waiting for the Johnson to show, so his character wandered over to where we were chatting about the game and said something along the lines of "I can't believe you guys can have a conversation about this crap. Professional sports are stupid and boring."

    Everyone in the bar (which was a pretty rough place) suddenly fell silent and turned to stare at my friend's character... and, reacting quickly, he said: "That's what I'd say if I didn't like sports!" and totally defused the situation. (Our GM was both goofy and forgiving about stuff like this)

    It's not terribly funny in retrospect, but the spontaneity of that response had us all in stitches for several minutes, and earned him a point of Karma.

  • AllonAllon Registered User
    edited February 2005
    For some reason these threads always bring Paranoia to my mind.
    Maybe it's the laser guided lasers, or the elevator disasters.... :roll:

    RPG.net wrote:
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  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Austin, TXRegistered User regular
    edited February 2005
    Renzo wrote:
    Hilarity
    You ever find out what that ring would have done?

    Knowing Ray, it probably would've let him do something along the lines of bring us all back to life, kill the bad guys, or something similar then quit working for him. We just couldn't believe Jim's first instinct was to cleave the ring, especially when Ray was practically telling him to put it on.

    camo_sig2.png
  • apotheosapotheos Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited February 2005
    Every game we play of Settlers of Catan involves my friend Paul getting up to nine victory points (10 being the goal) and then being stonewalled until someone else wins.

    It makes him so mad. It's so funny.



    猿も木から落ちる
  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited February 2005
    Alrighty, these are all from a D20 modern game that's still going on. All of them involve cars for some reason.


    First off, I play a smart hero- an unusually stealthy ex-national guardsman who likes guns, a lot- eventually becoming a mage.

    So, we spend the first session releasing a rather odd millionaire art-dealer from a bunch of kidnappers, he then asks us to be his "bodyguard" in a meeting with the person who ordered his kidnapping in central park. Our sniper sets himself up in a tree-blind a long ways off, our fast hero disguises himself as a hobo and hides in a cardboard box in the bushes near the meeting site, and I and our 'soldier' stay in our minivan just a bit down the road.

    So, our target arrives in a limo guarded by a pair of smaller sedans, they get out, and walk down towards our employer. I, the clever bastard that I am, decide to quietly make my way towards the limo, and unlock the door. I do this, getting amazing rolls, I get in, manage to critical the driver with my silenced mini-uzi, proceed to take his hat and stuff him into the passenger's seat where he can't be seen.

    Meanwhile, all hell breaks loose, our employer gets attacked by the villain and a large group of bugbear bodyguards in trenchcoats. Our undercover hobo proceeds to go 'rodney king' on them with his nightstick while the sniper picks them off. The badguy takes off running to the limo, the guy still in the van takes a few potshots at him, but only manages a small wound or two.

    So, he quickly jumps into the limo, shouts to me to "step on it". However, one of the tires managed to get popped, so I fumble my driving test.

    I step on the gas and proceed to smash into the car directly in front of me. Fortunetely I was able to keep my gun on the badguy, after which we took his clothes and left him in the bronx with a racist sandwich-board a la "Die Hard 3"




    Now this is our next session, we lost the soldier and gain a blaxploitation fast-hero. We're hired to retrieve a certain disk from a neo-nazi-infested warehouse. We manage to infiltrate it easily enough through the skylight, critting the only sentry on the catwalks. We make our way downstairs, but are spotted. After a long firefight, our brutha runs outside, goes in through the front garage door, and jacks the delivery van inside, which turns out to be filled to the brim with automatic weapons.
    At this point, the guards start dropping like flies, and the boss starts making his way out the garage. So Shaft jr. decides to step on the gas and run him down, unfortunately, he doesn't get enough speed to do any damage, and just knocks him over, after which he runs off into a sedan. The rest of the group, having finished the guards, jumps into the van and gives chase. On the road, We keep barely keep up with him, while another two cars give chase. One of us has a sack full of caltrops, gives a liberal spreading on the road, both cars lose all their tires and fail their driving tests, and proceed to smack into eachother in a fiery explosion.
    So we chase the guy up to an intersection, he slows down to turn, and our driver gets a bright idea.

    He fucking T-bones the guy, all of us take damage, I end up below 0, and the villain ends up with a steering-column through his chest. After quickly patching ourselves, we nonchalantly grab the disk, load whatever guns we can into our van, and drive off to SAFETY!



    Finally... After a nightclub shootout in which we do rather pathetically (I end up at 1/21 hp, other characters end up getting knocked out at least once), the badguy runs to his limo, the employer for the job tells us she'll double our pay if we kill him. So, our fast hero tosses a Thermite grenade into the limo's still-open door. While it manages to do major damage to the limo, our nemesis saves and ducks out the door as it explodes.
    So, Mr. T hops on his dirtbike, while the rest of us get into our custom-armored hummvee.

    We just barely keep up with him, and make our way to the Brooklyn bridge while being chased by SWAT teams. We finally manage to take out his tires, but the driver passes his checks. So I load a pair of explosive shells into my shotgun, lean out the window with one hand on the wheel, and fire. The rear of the limo tears off due to the thermite damage, and he crashes into the side of the bridge. I stop, and back up, trying to push it the rest of the way off.

    Meanwhile, our blaxploitation clichee does something absolutely awesome. He jumps up onto the roof of the limo, and manages to run over the guy we were chasing. He gets knocked off the side, and the villain just barely manages to put me down to 0 health. For my partial action, I step on the gas, pushing the limo off the bridge.

    zaku.png
    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: WaffleMous#1483
  • bdashbdash Registered User
    edited February 2005
    I remember wasting a whole weekend playing Talisman with some buddies when it first came out. Very simple but completely enjoyable and what got my geek-lite ass (videogames and PnP) into the world of tabletop gaming and CCGs. So yeah, great AND important. :wink:

    bdash gives his life not for honor but for you
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