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Great Moments in Tabletop Gaming
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This was early 3rd ed, don't think we had that rule then. Orks tend to mash things in HtH but it's kinda rare with guns. The other good one was overruning entire scout squads in one turn with warbikes, but that's not that hard to do.
:shock:
:lol:
In the Mirrodin prerelease, I got an isochron scepter and an Awestrike out on my second turn. The guy I was playing with got really flustered and didn't know what to do for the rest of the game
Oh, also, one of the characters in our current D&D game is (was now) a feral anthropomorphic baleen whale. Unfortunately, he died when a two-headed troll shaman that we encountered killed him and 2 other characters in one round :o
M:tG Mirrodin prerelease draft tournament. Some guy has a Mindslaver (Pay a fuck-ton of mana, discard it: you gain total control over the actions taken in your opponent's next turn.) and his opponent has a Wall of Blood. Wall of Blood allows you to pay any amount of life, and the wall gains 1 defense until the end of the turn for each life point you pay.
The first guy uses the Mindslaver and forces his opponent to pay all of his life to the Wall on his next turn. Pure ownage.
PSN & XBL - OFRunner | SS FC - 3782 1420 3176 DIA FC - 2150 0629 4353 | Steam ID | LoL
powergame much?
Now think of an anthropomorphic baleen whale monk with the "vow of poverty" feat.
Actually, the guy was planning on taking some sort of grappling feats that would let him pick up and toss enemies around. (The whale was around 18 feet tall or something)
Believe it or not, the guy playing the Mountain Orc Barbarian came up with all that, testicle ripping/tanning and all. He once made scuba gear out of an ogre's intestines.
I cut my teeth on Battletech PnP...got so sick of rolling for everything (did I overheat..where did my lasers hit....does my mech need its windshield wiper fluid replaced..etc..)
one day, a thought occurred to me, that it would be the greatest thing if there was some sort of automated...device that automatically generated random numbers for you...and let us say....computed...all the information necessary...FOR you.
but me and my buddies were pretty high that night...what the fuck do I know, such a monstrosity of a machine would probably require an entire frickin building to house anyway, the gears and relays needed alone would be too cost prohibitive...not to mention the endless, tree-killing piles of punch cards needed to house the sophisticated "program" needed to manage such calculations.
nevermind.
Callum - Sniper (Lethality), Brax - Commando (Healing), Xintoch - Assassin (Tank)
I keed, I keed
+8 infantry never felt so good.
About halfway through the game, it started to turn our favor. We had a steady amount of ~ 40 life (share life totals) and had just begun to deal more damage than they could heal. I got out my brood sliver and slowly began to beef up my forces. All this time my partner and I knew that they had the infinite life cleric combo somewhere in their deck, and if that happened then it was all over. They suddenly bust out a huge attack after throwing down a few pacifisms on my untapped slivers. They still have 90 life, even if all of my 20 slivers hit then it still would leave them at ~40.
Our life total after their attack? 1. They let us know that their next turn would bring about infinite life, so we wered fucked. If we didn't get rid of 90 life in our two turns, it was over. My partner went. He had no creatures. He passed to me.
Deep breath.
I draw my card.
Coat of Arms.
I don't think I ever enjoyed a victory like that since.
"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process."
Imagine all of my posts being spoken by Alec Baldwin
GamerTag: MunkusBeaver ||||| Steam: munkus
...
:shock:
And, I have never played any PnP stuff, ever. D&D seems boring, same with any card game.
I mean Magic The Gathering and stuff like that, not poker.
I'm Jacob Wilson. | facebook | thegreat2nd | [url="aim:goim?screenname=TheGreatSecond&message=Hello+from+the+Penny+Arcade+Forums!"]aim[/url]
Way way to much to type.
His name was Wes, he was a fricken god.
We were navigating a cavern when what I believe was a baby dragon--nothing impossible, but definitely a potential challenge for our relatively weak party. We're ballsy enough to take on the thing, and our DM has us roll for initiative...
Now, one of the great things about or DM is that he could create the absolute greatest explanations as to what happens when one gets a low roll. If we were ever to get a 1, any agony that would've potentially been had was at least slightly diminished by the humorous mental images produced by these verbal portrayals of the scene.
So, I roll my di, and--lo and behold--it rolls shortly before the ever-feared "1" faces skyward. Everyone else gets decent rolls after chuckling at my bad luck, and our DM says, "Okay... Well, all of you are very ready to take on the monster...except Kyle here. I don't know what the hell he's doing--taking a piss on the wall, or something." After some rolls for attack went in and I finally jumped into the fray, he made some additional, humorous mentions of me "wagging off" before stepping in.
In retrospect, it may not seem as funny as I initially believed, but it was pretty damn funny given the context we were acting within.
I was in a little group (me and two guys) that played Call of Cthulhu for a while. It was our first game, and my friend and I, being the pussies we were, were getting really into the atmosphere of the game, and thus kind of jumpy.
Anyway, we had to go into this house that had been having "issues" with dying owners and so forth. We searched downstairs, nothing. At this point, we knew something was going to happen to us. With each room we searched and found nothing, the tension rose.
We went up the stairs and found a bare room with a bed in it. My friend checked the walls of the room, and before he ever got to the window, I noticed a very tiny spot on the bed. I moved closer to take a look, and realized it was blood, and it was spreading. I tugged on his shirt and pointed at the spot. We looked at each other for a moment.
Then we ran screaming from the house. We were seriously creeped out, but the house had to be searched. We did the only thing we could think of: We hired a cleaning lady and asked her to clean the room, standing close to the house in case there were any screams, so we could see what was going to happen to her.
Our GM got kind of ticked off. The cleaning lady came out fine, and he found horrible ways to punish us later.
It was great.
Four of us were sitting around the table waiting for the fifth to return from the bathroom.
He came back, looking a bit green.
"You really don't look too good."
"No it's cool, I'll be fine."
Before this exchange was complete, he proceded to plaster our character sheets, dice etc with vomit.
I now associate D&D with a fat kid blasting puke.
DM: Are you shure? You need a 20 to do it.
Me: Yep I do it.
DM: Ok.
I rolled a 20. She failed her will save. I now have a formian queen as an animal companion. I have her give us the scroll and we loot her giant vault of magic weapons. And then we get an entire formian hive as our friends. We made at least 1000 plat off that.
In another game, I was playing a dwarf paladin. My party was in a cave trying to release this captured lady from a hanging cage. As I was very short, they tell me to go guard the door. So I end up looking away for some reason, and one of the assassins that were hunting us, comes up behind me and coup de graces me. I was pissed.
I experienced something similar, though even more against the odds.
We were playing Gamma World, which uses percentile dice for attacks, ie 100 possible outcomes. If you've ever played Gamma World, you know that it's insane and survival is usually extremely difficult. We were in some sort of truck driving overland when we were suddenly being chased by a 200 foot tall kimodo dragon. There's no way we can outrun the thing, and really no way we can kill it. Out of desparation, one of the guys in the back just throws a plasma grenade at it before it devours us. He rolls his two 10 sided dice.
Both 0's.
In Gamma World, a perfect roll is 100, or two 0's. The DM, Ray (same guy as before), consults his chart and says, "The grenade hits the dragon's ear canal perfectly, rolling inside his head to his brain, where it promptly explodes, killing it."
We all died from something else a short while later, but that's Gamma World. The fact that we survived one of those is pretty legendary, with a one in a million (okay, one in a hundred) shot.
Anthropomorthic, they have hands and feet. Basically an anthroporphic baleen whale has a lvl modifier +1 and 3 hit dice(monstrouse humaniod). So for the 5th "lvl" you take monk and the feat "Vow of Poverty" which is based on your EL and gives bonues to things like natural armour, damage, attack... Everything. In return you cant own anything (but you can use normal items and keep them if you are using them) but like 1 weeks rations. Every weapon you pick up gets an enhancement, all your amours(or cloth) gets an enhancement. You get a bunch of other stuff.
Anyway, Anthro Baleen Whales have something like +8 strength, +4 dex, +10 con, +6 wisdom, +2 int, and +2 charisma, as well as being large sized and +8 natural armor bonus. Needless to say a lvl 1(EL 5) Anthropomorthic baleen whale with the feat "Vow of Poverty" can have something like 40 AC and +15 to hit.(and +12 damage) without a very good stat roll
The feat you are thinking of is "Throw anything" and it lets you throw anything as if you were proficient with it as a throwing weapon (10 ft range for non throwing items)
A fun thing to do with this is combine it with improved disarm(bonus to disarm, when you disarm you get a free attack, if your hand is free, you get the weapon in your hand. So you can disarm someone of their greatsword, then throw it at something. Or, althernatly, pick someone up and throw it as something. Then combine with improved unarmed strike (armed when unarmed) and you would be golden.
I was playing a game of AD&D 3rd edition with a few other people. We're in town, and it's decided we need some healing potions - mind you, this is a really low level party. It's also nighttime and the only potion shop in town is closed, so being a rogue, I volunteer to go get them. But our warrior decides he's better suited to this task. We laugh at him, and I go off towards the shop. He follows. I reach the shop and notice someone following me, so I hide. Out comes the warrior.
For some reason, he decides to get the potions himself. He smashes open the window, and guards come arunnen. He runs into an allyway and announces he'd like to hide. There are guards looking for him nearby and he's a warrior. Rolls a natural 20, and immediately afterwards, decides to run away. To this day I'm not sure why, but the guards arrested him and forced him to pay.
The best part? While this was happening I walked into the store and relieved it of all I could carry, without a single roll. :lol:
A bit of back-story: I am apparently god-awful amounts of good with dice. I'm often asked to roll up stats for other folks, and when the DM allows it, I will. I'm often asked to roll encounters, when it's left up to the players. I'm often asked to roll a lot of things, much to the DM's chagrin.
Anyway, we were in the last session of a rather high-level campaign. I was playing a surface drow rogue. The game was a 2nd ed D&D campaign based in the Forgotten Realms setting, and had some major plot ties to the Throne of Bhal expansion for Baldur's Gate. I'm the child of the Bhal spawn of that game, though I didn't know it until much later.
Demigoddess with a vorpal scythe, approaching the main bad-guy after he's threatened to do nasty things to the little girl she adopted. I roll a natural 20. Because it's a vorpal, it takes limbs off with good rolls. I'm asked to roll again, to see what piece I carve out of his hide. I again roll a 20.
There was much cheering at the table, and much fuming by the DM, when the baddie's head was neatly cut from his neck.
I still get the occasional twenty, but never so good as that -- and never with such happy results.
Edit: Just remembered this. In an original game run by a good friend several years back, each of the player characters had been given a pendant that allowed us one wish. Figuring that we wouldn't abuse it, because he'd warned us the repercussions would be grave, he didn't make any stipulations as to its use.
So our party goes to hell. We're on the topmost layer, and getting our asses kicked. My character's significant other gets really badly beaten down, and so... I use the wish. I wish for us to be safely out of hell.
It was a real head + desk moment for the DM, and there were mixed reactions from the other players. Most wanted to finish out the hell level, while the rest were happy to be back to the 'mundane' area of the game.
In another game a few years later run by the same fellow, I played an original character type called a Dragoon. Basically, they're dragon people with more humanoid characteristics than reptilian. Her name was Ein, and she had the most emo back-story ever.
Anyway, for her I did something like a Russian and German accent. She was fond of lying about where she came from, and so she'd always say, "Elsevere." It became such a common question, and a common response, that Elsewhere was actually added in to the game, and we visited briefly. It was there that Ein ate meat-loaf made of people, but that's a whole other story.
Last year another friend ran a game based on Castlevania, set in modern times. I played an Asian lass who had the hots for one of the NPCs who quickly became a vampire early on in the game, thanks to an item called the Crimson Stone.
Now she has a few flaws, and one of them is that she cannot help herself when it comes to something she's curious about -- she absolutely has to investigate it until she's satisfied. Touching the stone is a big no-no, since it makes mortals into vampires, and strengthens existing vampires quite a bit.
So she's been after the stone the whole game, and one night, she finally snags it. She's holding it via the ofuda -- Japanese magic cards, basically, that they'd been using to keep the stone locked in a holy aura -- and she starts hearing a voice. It's telling her that she should touch the stone. She can learn so much from it, etc.
So she touches the stone. And for the next hour or so, the other PC, as well as the NPC she was crushing on, have to figure out how to remove her silly ass from the stone -- since she was sucked inside and promptly trapped.
I think the worst possible moment in a game, though, came just after the previous game. Original game setting, fantasy based, by the same DM as ran the Castlevania setup. I'm playing a mage, but I've got some skill with a small crossbow.
One of the NPCs was possessed by the bad-guy, and so, figuring if we do enough damage to our buddy that the baddie will leave, I fire. And score a twenty. And kill him.
This was not the only time; oh, no. We were fighting another baddie later in the game that was revealed as my character's father. She refused to fight him, but she wouldn't let the party fight him, either. She made daddy leave them alone, but in the process of making them stop... I rolled a twenty and she shot the other PC's character in the back of the head, killing him instantly.
Thank god we kept a lot of revival items on us, or I would have fucked the party several times over.
Mrm. Likely only funny to the group I game with, but, there you have it anyway.
Last game I ran I had them guarding the Big Top Secret Tankbot. I introduced SCU-BOT-675578 and had them all cleaned. Well, one of the players didn't want to be cleaned, so they shot him as a traitor.
Wait. This always happens in Paranoia. Nothing special.
Move along Citizen.
I was there.
This was about the time Jedi Training decks became popular due to the release of "EPP" cards, in other words main character cards that had their personal weapons built in with them. So people would turtle up in Dagobah Jedi Train Luke or Leia and beat your ass down with "mains" on whatever planet you were on.
So what is a person to do as the dark side? Simple, blow the fuck outta Dagobah.
So everytime I played Dark Side, sure enough I would come against a Jedi Training deck.
I would turtle up in the Death Star slowly move it allll the way to Dagobah, and laugh as I blew up poor Luke while he tried to pass those Jedi SATs. Since those decks relyed on coming to the dark side planets for fighting, I would use "Ability Ability Ability" and "Location Location Location" to apply a lock-down that would slooowly kill off the opponent.
After a few months of Death Star goodness, we became known as "the guys with the gay death star decks". Eventually, we started getting flamed after we would blow someone up. My friend got cussed out after blowing up Tatooine inhabited by Obi Wan, Luke, Leia, Chewie, and Lando. Once after I blew up Dagobah, the other guy refused to give up even though there was nothing he do. He just sat there looking at his cards "determining his next move" for about 45 minutes. Finally the GM got tired, looked at the guys hand, said "Dude he has you locked down... there nothing you can do" and declared me the winner. The guy did not like it and implied that I go to hell.
edit : blah spelling
Name: Luch
Town: Ortega
Really fucking awesome stories
Have you seen "The Gamers" yet?
as I've said, I do more freeform roleplay than most people here. generally internet-based, there's no rolling. you're just "kinda strong", or "really strong", or some description inbetween. fights are either draws, or the players will talk it over and decide "okay, this guy's gonna lose, but his buddy will jump in, fail at saving the day, grab this guy, and run like a bat out of hell.". now, this means fights don't have that "I was about to die, but I rolled perfectly and shoved a grenade up a dragon's butt, hitting it's actual brain next to the colon." flair, but rather that "I barely blocked the strike, but then summoned a dog that used dynamic air marking(spinning and pissing in midair.) to blind my foe, and I stabbed my knife into his head." flair.
now, onto the story.
you see, my character is a bit of a..odd one. he can become a transformer(alternate form unknown.), and has a jusenkyo curse(spring of drowned girl.). there's also a guy controlling a kuno clone. what happens is, my character manages to get splashed, and in the quick run to a bathroom(having chose the boy's bathroom.), was spotted by the kuno-clone. after this kuno-clone ranted for a short time about his "chestnut haired goddess", he was led into said bathroom. my character had already made his escape, having changed back to normal. the kuno-clone ran into the bathroom, and opened up each stall, searching for said chestnut haired goddess. by the time this was done, he came out loooking like some twisted form of origami that, with a light kick, rolled around. soon after pulling himself back into a normal shape, said kuno-clone fought a creature based off of invader zim.
doesn't sound too funny as text, but just imagine the guy getting painfully contorted into a sphere-esque shape by about five guys he opened the stalls of and you'll giggle. or wince. one or the other.
So the game is going along as expected (i.e. I'm getting my ass kicked), and he lets it be known that the next turn he will end the game with his Hurricane. Little does he know that I've been saving a Reverse Damage (instant, gain damage as life instead of losing it), in my hand nearly the entire game. So, I pass to him, sighing as if I didn't know what was going to happen. He plays his 8-billion-damage Hurricane, a smug grin on his face, and starts to get up, when I say "Hold on. I play Reverse Damage. I am now at 8 billion and 6 life, you are at negative 7 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, 983 life. I win." His jaw just drops and he doesn't say a word. I ended up third in the competition.
:shock:
BUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: