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Great Moments in Tabletop Gaming

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Posts

  • GoodOmensGoodOmens Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    2 come to mind, both from college:

    My group was playing a game called, I think, "Gatecrashers." We were paranormal investigators. I don't remember much about the game other than that the hit location rules were amazingly complex, as I learned to my great chagrin. I was playing a character with wild psychic abilities, which basically meant the DM could make it up as he went along (I didn't know anything about the game system, and was just along for the ride). The group went to an office where something bad happened; everyone else went in a truck, but I went by myself on a motorcycle. Got there first, got off my Harley...and was immediately shot by a sniper. Right in the large intestine. Blood and fecal matter spray the motorcycle, and I go into shock, but not before getting shot again, this time in the left elbow, tearing off my forearm.

    The DM wasn't the vindictive sort, and decided that killing me for something that really wasn't my fault wasn't cool, so he decided that my ability was extremely rapid healing. Basically, I could regenerate fast enough that I couldn't die short of being disintegrated. Which meant that, of course, I was the point man from then on. Later, we were all in the truck, being chased by some sort of demonic agents in a car behind us. I climb out the hatch on the top of the truck to try to shoot the car with some sort of huge pistol with depleted uranium rounds. Unfortunately, the agents get in a lucky critical shot. To my bladder. (Needless to say, there were many excretory jokes.) Just as I'm firing the gun. It's decided that a random roll will determine the direction of my bullet...a lucky roll puts it right into the engine block of the car, disabling it.

    In a Legens of the 5 Rings campaign, I was playing as a Crab samurai. The Crab clan emphasizes power, and I was playing him as a total stereotype; big, strong, and dumb. A great deal of fun. Early on, my group attended a festival that the Emporer threw, and I got involved in a tournament which included an obstacle course. I ended up behind my opponent, who was much more agile than I, and got to the last stage, where I had to climb a tall wooden wall. He was already at the top, and I decided to simply shoulder charge the wall. One good roll later, it crashed down, and my opponent fell down on the back side. I strolled over the finish line. The assembled nobles were aghast, and the Emporer himself demanded that I explain my actions. "You said go over the wall. The wall's on the ground, I went over it." This character later helped save the imperial castle from a siege by jamming a Scorpion ninja's head into the gears of the drawbridge to prevent it from being opened.

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  • DeVryGuyDeVryGuy Registered User
    edited March 2005
    This isnt my story, I pulled it off the Real Life forums, but I enjoyed it very much:

    "Okay, here's my story of how we made the Head of the Bandit Kingdoms for RPGA cry like a little girl after 10 minutes.

    I used to be a member of RPGA (RPG association). There is a very strict system for keeping track of your characters. Well, since we're in Texas, we're automatically residents of the Bandit Kingdoms, the most brutal land there is, where the paladins are all multiclassed as rogues. The phrase "I BK the bodies" means you loot them down to their fillings.

    Anyway, the predicted death rate of characters in the BK is about 15%. My group was sitting at an incredible 4%, and the head honchos for the section thought our DM was letting us cheat. So, in an effort to prove his innocence, we were assigned to be DM'ed by the top guy at a convention. Well, this guy had spent months making a quest that would shape the future of the realm. We were supposed to investigate a murder, hunt down the killer, find out who hired him, and then go fight the bad guy in the ruins outside of town.

    Well, we were supposed to need a spellcaster to find the murderer, and then either use magic to pry the info out of him, or spend 2 days taking him back to town where the magistrate could find out. Our group consisted of 2 half-orc fighter/barbarians, a dwarven fighter, and a ranger who used a pair of flails. So no magic whatsoever.

    The predicted time for the adventure was 3 hours. In the first five minutes, the dwarf said "Lets go explore those ruins. They look interesting." So we skipped the entire adventure and attacked the bad guy in a rush of burly warriors.

    The ranger rolled a 23 on his initiative, and tripped the bad guy's wizard. My half-orc took second, and bull-rushed the evil cleric straight into a wall, pinning him. The enemy wizard then went, and took the Attack of Op to get up. The ranger tripped him again. Then the head bad guy goes, and tried to attack the ranger. He missed, thanks to the ranger's Dodge feat. The dwarf goes, and he bull rushes the enemy fighter (minion), smashing him into the campfire. Then our second half-orc goes, and he throws his satchel onto the minion. He carries his vast supply of Alchemist's Fire in the satchel, away from his flammable gear. The minion dies in a massive blast of fire. The enemy cleric tries to fight against my pin, and fails miserably. The remaining 2 minions hit the dwarf, who feels almost nothing thanks to a 20 con.

    It is about this time out temporary DM started looking teary-eyed.

    The ranger then trips the head boss, and pummels him with the rest of his attacks. My orc beheads the cleric with a Power Attack, Raging critical hit from a Great Axe, and moves over to help the rest of the group. The wizard attempts to roll away from the ranger before getting up. He manages to get out of the fray, but has used up his actions just trying to stay alive, and so casts no spells. The head bad guy stnds up, and resists the ranger's attempt to trip him again, attempting (but failing) to trip the ranger. The dwarf Power Attacks one minion, cleaving straight through him into the second, who barely survives. The second orc grabs the wizard, and throws him into the Alchemist's Fire, setting him on fire, along with all his precious spell componants. The remaining minion backs away and chugs a healing potion.

    By now, our temporary DM was outright sobbing as we dismantled his precious campaign completely.

    In round three, the ranger once again trips the head bad guy, and pummels him some more. I delay to see if the my allies finish the wizard. The wizard rolls out of the fire and extiquishes himself with a spell. The head bad guy hops up, dodges the ranger, and charges the other half-orc, dealing considerable damage. The dwarf takes out the last minion, and the other half-orc levels the wizard with his greatsword. Taking my action, I charge the head bad guy, and Power Attack. He dies in a spray of gore as he is dropped to -13 HP.

    And thus, in three rounds of combat, we save the day without even knowing what we saved it from. The Powers That Be forgave our DM, and congratulated him for managing to kill any of us at all. "

    Pokemon Diamond: 5369 6910 9799
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  • manmaidslavemanmaidslave Registered User
    edited March 2005
    playing rifts a while back. we had some powerful magic users. One had caset an Anti Magic shell which made a lot of the area non-magical and just dead. Kinda slowed down the fight. One guy left out of the area and came back and wanted to know why he couldn't use a spell. i told him it was like a magic fart, you leave and come back and it still stinks. Everyone got a laugh out of it, and it explained it perfectly.

  • ethicalseanethicalsean Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Alright, so the group I'm in are playing a Conan OGL game, and for the most part, we've followed the "Road of Kings" Conan traveled in his adventures (think of it like a road ending at Rome and spanning the western kingdoms eastward).

    We came across a town thats children had been missing recently. We were asked to locate the children and somehow or other found our way to a set of ruins in the forests to the west. We ran afoul of some sort of cult, and after an exstensive melee in the forest, made our way into the caves.

    We find a massive treasure in the cave, and after many months of misfortune and bad luck, we figured we'd finally hit the big score. We spotted a sorcerer, now unprotected, performing rituals over one of the missing children. We had learned in another session that in Conan, you rush the fucking sorcerer before he unloads on you (they are dangerous when theyve got a virgin sacrifice on him). Our barbarian rushes the altar, and through some lucky rolls slices the sorcerer in half. We unlock the children and then set our eyes on the treasure in the other room... when a rumbling in the cave starts up. We look over to the far side of the treasure room to see a massive explosion in the wall and a huge purple worm flying out. We sigh, running like hell out of the cave, barely escaping the abomination.

    Apparently the cult had been protecting the town with an occassional sacrifice of a child every now and then to keep the purple worm in slumber. Unfortunately, the deamon cult had grabbed the town mayor's son, and when we intervened, we unleashed the worm on the town. We arrived to the town in desolation and many of the town members dead. We barely made it out of there with our lives... and eventually made our way to Shadizar... a den of scum, prostitution, and villiany that would make Nar Shadda look like the Vatican.

  • CoconutBoyCoconutBoy Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    The game: Cosmic Encounter (mayfair version) with More Cosmic Encounter (Moons, lucre, etc.)

    Cosmic encounter is a game that breaks it's own rules, and with moons, it breaks them doubly so. Normal win conditions are 5 outside bases... not this game.

    It's me and 3 others. First turn is Matt, he flips up my color and proceeds to ally with the other 2 and take a base. I'm not to unhappy, people lose bases. Since it was sucessful he gets to make another attack, he flips his own color and takes over one of his moons. The moon said "The person with the most bases (outside and inside) wins the game".

    Game over...

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  • The Geebs That Got BigtimedThe Geebs That Got Bigtimed Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited March 2005
    Black Templars v. Eldar

    My Emperor's Champion led a squad of basic Black Templars troops into hand to hand combat with an Avatar. After about three turns (and three dead Marines) my Champion put the second to last wound on the Avatar.

    And then one of my last two remaining Marines both rolled hits (thanks to their 3+ always hits vow) and pulled of a wound. And the Avatar failed its save.

    And went down.

    And then there is my "Magic Rhino." In a tanks only tourney, we were supposed to choose one tank, up to 250 points per tank. I played a Rhino. Said Rhino went up against Land Raiders and Necron Monoliths. So basically the only thing that could do anything was my one shot Hunter Killer Missile.

    It never hit, and I got destroyed. A lot. However, I did win the fellowship prize (a ten dollar gift certificate) for having the balls to play a Rhino in that scenario. And that Rhino has since never been destroyed in a game, and has survived two or three ordinance blasts.

  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Okay, I have one.

    Now, I wasn't actually a part of this, I was an innocent bystander.

    We are playing Cyberpunk 2020.

    Who we have in the party is totally incidental. The majority of us are in a van with the "payload" we were supposed to transport. One of the players is playing a Solo, which is basically just a heavy fighting-type. He decides that he's going to ride point on his motorcycle. Fine. Great. We tell him not to get too far ahead of us, as we're only going to be going about 70kph at most. He decides to ride ahead at 120+kph. So, he is twice as far along as we are.

    The person who GM'ed this game has what is known as the Rule of Three. If you are about to do something stupid, he gives you three chances to change it, or else he lets you pay the (fatal) consequences.

    GM: "You see some people up ahead."
    Solo: "I use my magnification in my eyes. What are they doing?"
    GM: "Your vast intelligence tells you that they are setting up some kind of ambush. They seem to know that you were headed in this direction for some reason."
    Us: "Aw shit."
    Solo: "Okay, I think I'll hit the gas and toss a grenade or two at them as I pass so that by the time the van gets here, the fight will be out of whoever isn't dead."
    GM: "Good idea. So, you are getting closer."
    Solo: "I reach into my backpack and get out two grenades."
    GM: "So, you reach down and take two grenades off your belt..
    Solo: "No, my grenades are in my backpack."
    GM: "You're sure about that? You don't have any grenades on your person, like stuck in your belt or clipped onto a bandolier?"
    Solo: "No, they're in my backpack. That's what I have on my sheet."
    GM: "Okay, if you were going somewhere on a motorcycle, and you thought you might need something like...oh, a grenade in case of an emergency, where on your belt would you put it?"
    Solo: "But my grenades are in my backpack."
    GM: "Okay. So, you are on a motorcycle doing in excess of 120 kph, and you turn around and reach into your backpack. Make an Agility check to see if you can actually do this. Then make a Bike Skill check to see if you can do it and keep control of the bike."
    Solo rolls some dice. GM watches quietly, like the emotionless automoton that he is. Some of the rest of us are snickering rather loudly, and the GM holds up a hand to quiet us down. He then gets up and walks to the blackboard where he has a diagram of the street and the alleyway drawn.
    "Okay, you come in over here and you increase speed about here. Then you reach around into your backpack here. Now, you actually did manage to get the grenades out of your backpack. However, you lost control of your bike when you turned around, and you flipped it here." He draws an X on the board. "Your bike sliiiiides to....here," another X, "where it hits this pile of garbage, and the bike fips over and hits the ground here." Another X. "You fly off the bike," drawing a dashed line about twice as long as the motorcycle slide and crash line, "and you land...about...here," an X right on the facing side of a building, "and you take..."

    The GM picks up two huge handfuls of dice and just drops them on the table, picks them up again and drops them again without actually looking at the numbers. "Sorry, you're dead. The good news is that the grenades landed where you wanted them to, and the enemy picked them up as your body turned into a jacket full of red jello."

    He told Solo that he could come back and roll up a new character next time we played. He never showed up again.

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  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt Damn you, eidetic memory! Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Playing a game of Shadowrun, my group was down in the southern end of the Tir, and ended up getting captured by some California Free State militiamen. We were all tied to trees while they waited for their bosses to arrive so they could properly propagandize our executions. He also ended up getting a little extra TLC for being the only human in the group (just for the record, he was an Adept).

    Naturally we're all doing our best to escape before we're shot in the head. To that end, two other memebers of the party managed to work their ways free, and as they were getting ready to act, my Adept managed to convince a forest spirit to give him a hand, and use it's Fear power on the militiamen. That's when things got weird.

    The spirit appears in the middle of the campfire, in the form of a three meter tall squirrel, dripping blood, gnawing on a severed head (my character's head, actually). Everyone freaks out and runs (including the PC's who'd freed themselves). One militiaman, who'd been a particular ass, runs past where my character is. I then declared, "When he runs by, I kick him in the balls as hard as I can(my PC had Distance Strike and Killing Hands: Moderate). I'm putting all my Combat Pool in it."

    So I'm rolling about ten dice, and everyone comes up a success. The GM gives the guy his roll to resist, and apprently botched it, because then he looked up and said, "You give him a kick him to the groin, as hard as you can, and... his head explodes."

    Origin ID: Null_Cypher
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  • LibrarianThorneLibrarianThorne Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    I've got a great Shadowrun story. It was my first session, and being a lover of sunted, bearded races I naturally played a Dwarf Street Samurai. I had a sports bike with a passenger sidecar. In said sidecar was the, I believe, second best Assault Cannon in the game.

    Let's just say, when I inevitably encountered the police *for having military ordnance in my sidecar*, the negotiation phase ended rather quickly when I blew up a cruiser and got the hell out of dodge.

  • apotheosapotheos Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited March 2005
    CoconutBoy wrote:
    The game: Cosmic Encounter (mayfair version) with More Cosmic Encounter (Moons, lucre, etc.)

    Cosmic encounter is a game that breaks it's own rules, and with moons, it breaks them doubly so. Normal win conditions are 5 outside bases... not this game.

    It's me and 3 others. First turn is Matt, he flips up my color and proceeds to ally with the other 2 and take a base. I'm not to unhappy, people lose bases. Since it was sucessful he gets to make another attack, he flips his own color and takes over one of his moons. The moon said "The person with the most bases (outside and inside) wins the game".

    Game over...

    This is my favorite story of the whole thread.



    猿も木から落ちる
  • thorpethorpe Registered User
    edited March 2005
    Call of Cthulhu, my PCs are nearing the end of "Shadows of Yog-Sothoth" (the campaign). Upon arriving on [spoiler:fe9e17af2b]R'lyeh, they managed to drag their gibbering carcasses to Great Cthulhu's Tomb, which promptly opened. Of course, he promptly ate their eternal souls. Alright, thats all I got...[/spoiler:fe9e17af2b]

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt Damn you, eidetic memory! Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    CoC is so great for weird and kick ass gaming stories. In the last CoC campaign I will ever play (the GM was REALLY good), my PC was about 7,000,010,038 years old by the campain's end. He rather poorly phrased a question to one of reality's major powers, and for his answer, he observed the universe from it's birth, to it's eventual heat death, in real time. It really put into perspective the 10,000 years he spent being mild chastised by the Lord of Nightmares.

    Origin ID: Null_Cypher
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  • RedStarGeneralRedStarGeneral Registered User
    edited March 2005
    I dunno if this counts but here it is:

    Game: MTG
    I am playin this kid I don't know at a pretty big games get together a friend of mine hosted and I lightning bolt the sucker to death. In turn he freaks out, flips the table and attempts to stamp away yet seems to forget that there is a large wargaming table with people playing warhammer 40k behind us.

    In turn he trips on another guys box that he uses to transport all his minis and promptly crushes 2 entire armies. Space marines and Ordo Malleus.

    These were 2500pts roughly of each.

    The look on the poor guys face as pieces of landraiders and drednaughts flew hither and yon was almost beyond description. I watched as he bent down and picked up a grey knight terminator with the arm snapped off.

    Lets just say the angry kid ended up paying back ALOT of money all for being a jerk.

  • LibrarianThorneLibrarianThorne Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    I dunno if this counts but here it is:

    Game: MTG
    I am playin this kid I don't know at a pretty big games get together a friend of mine hosted and I lightning bolt the sucker to death. In turn he freaks out, flips the table and attempts to stamp away yet seems to forget that there is a large wargaming table with people playing warhammer 40k behind us.

    In turn he trips on another guys box that he uses to transport all his minis and promptly crushes 2 entire armies. Space marines and Ordo Malleus.

    These were 2500pts roughly of each.

    The look on the poor guys face as pieces of landraiders and drednaughts flew hither and yon was almost beyond description. I watched as he bent down and picked up a grey knight terminator with the arm snapped off.

    Lets just say the angry kid ended up paying back ALOT of money all for being a jerk.

    That's like, damn near $1000 worth of stuff. If not more. I'd have gotten the money then broken his fingers.

  • AzraelAzrael Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Inquisitor (Warhammer 40k based rpg using models on a terrain board)

    My character is Father McGuinness, a portly Imperial missionary who's left arm has been replaced with a very large, very crude bionic claw. He is somewhat overzealous, the sort that sees impurity and heresy everywhere, and to which the best response is usually burn first ask questions later. A bit of a nutter.

    He and the rest of the party are about to board a ship to this planets moon, when they come under fire from a sniper.

    The father and a couple of others move in the direction of the fire in the hopes of eliminating the sniper as the others try to find cover. The father is the slowest of those moving on the sniper.

    The sniper is trapped and engaged by another party member, who is promtly badly injured when a power sword is inserted into his skull. The sniper escapes as the father reaches the body, which he retreaves and carries back toward the ship on his shoulder.

    As he dashes to the ramp, another assailant appears, firing a pistol at McGuiness. The priest blocks a shot with his massive claw, another is blocked harmlessly by the buttocks of the catatonic warrior on his shoulder.

    The missionary acts instinctivly, stricking the thug with the most immediate weapon available. He grasps the coma dude by the ankle in the large pincer of his left hand, and swung it in a wide arc. So it was thart the GM had to work out just how much damage a cadaver with a powersword in its head would do when swung by a mechanically enhanced arm. It was alot. The guy was cut in half, and my 'weapon' took extra injuries to the head and leg.

    I might have felt bad, but I tend to get pretty well in character, and this is exactly the sort of things we had come to expect from him. It remains my finest hour.

  • redstormpopcornredstormpopcorn Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Apparently, it is my group's task to always entirely contradict what the DM expects us to do. Last week, we had been commisioned by the guard captain to keep watch over a museum full of priceless artifacts during a city festival. Apparently, the DM intended us to keep a couple of people there to make sure nobody broke in, while the rest gallavanted around the festival making purchases and hitting on wenches. But, no. We went into Rainbow Goddamn Six mode and guarded that fuckin' museum. Tossing sunrods into dark corners, posting a guard at every entrance, casting Detect Magic on the magical dagger we were supposed to be watching first and foremost to make sure we hadn't been set up by the asshole captain, the works. We managed to scare off the single burglar who dared enter our makeshift fortress within one turn of his entry through an upstairs window.

    We do the "wrong" things extraordinarily well. :P

    emot-kamina.gif BELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF emot-kamina.gif
  • sarukunsarukun Gornlord Interplanetary InsanitariumRegistered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Apparently, it is my group's task to always entirely contradict what the DM expects us to do. Last week, we had been commisioned by the guard captain to keep watch over a museum full of priceless artifacts during a city festival. Apparently, the DM intended us to keep a couple of people there to make sure nobody broke in, while the rest gallavanted around the festival making purchases and hitting on wenches. But, no. We went into Rainbow Goddamn Six mode and guarded that fuckin' museum. Tossing sunrods into dark corners, posting a guard at every entrance, casting Detect Magic on the magical dagger we were supposed to be watching first and foremost to make sure we hadn't been set up by the asshole captain, the works. We managed to scare off the single burglar who dared enter our makeshift fortress within one turn of his entry through an upstairs window.

    We do the "wrong" things extraordinarily well. :P
    I want to play with your group.

  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt Damn you, eidetic memory! Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Great Call of Cthulu moment involved a friend of mine. I actually can't remember what it was he did, but it was followed by a moment of silence from the GM, and then the statement, "Congratulations. You just made the extradimensional horrors fail their sanity check."

    Origin ID: Null_Cypher
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  • redstormpopcornredstormpopcorn Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Great Call of Cthulu moment involved a friend of mine. I actually can't remember what it was he did, but it was followed by a moment of silence from the GM, and then the statement, "Congratulations. You just made the extradimensional horrors fail their sanity check."
    I bet that campaign took place in Soviet Russia.

    emot-kamina.gif BELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF emot-kamina.gif
  • Evan WatersEvan Waters Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Great Call of Cthulu moment involved a friend of mine. I actually can't remember what it was he did, but it was followed by a moment of silence from the GM, and then the statement, "Congratulations. You just made the extradimensional horrors fail their sanity check."

    I once entertained the possibility of a CoC campaign where the PCs were all already insane.

  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt Damn you, eidetic memory! Registered User regular
    edited March 2005
    Actually, the character in question _was_ Russian. A physicist in fact, although the campaign in question took place in Boston. He was also subject to one of the funniest jokes to come up in that campaign. Later on, in an encounter that pretty much sent the had the party screaming and scattering every which way in terror, we saw him cast a spell, and dissapear into a portal.

    A couple of days later, when the rest of us had collected our wits, and he still wasn't back yet, we started to wonder just where he had teleported to. We'd seen him use the spell before, but had no idea on what the limits were. "Maybe he went to Georgia," my character ventured, only to find out later, that he'd been right. Sort of. The physicist had zapped himself all the way home to Georgia, Russia.

    Origin ID: Null_Cypher
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  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    thorpe wrote:
    Call of Cthulhu, my PCs are nearing the end of "Shadows of Yog-Sothoth" (the campaign). Upon arriving on [spoiler:45c217c8f5]R'lyeh, they managed to drag their gibbering carcasses to Great Cthulhu's Tomb, which promptly opened. Of course, he promptly ate their eternal souls. Alright, thats all I got...[/spoiler:45c217c8f5]

    A friend of mine had a similar situation. In their campaign, they were shipwrecked on R'lyeh. Naturally, they make their way, unbeknownst to them, to the tomb of Great Cthulhu. The doors open, squidface pops his face out and they all roll their sanity. Everyone makes it except my friend, Nick. So, the GM deals with everyone else first. They all end up taking the full amount or damn near for the "successful" SAN loss, causing most of them to go temporarily crazy-go-nuts. They are about to become lunch, due to their mass catatonia.

    Then, he turns to Nick, who is pale, sweating and grinning nervously.
    "So...you failed, huh?"
    "Yeah."
    "That's D100 Sanity loss, man."
    "Yeah...I know. I already started making a new character."
    GM rolls.
    "You have to be shitting me!"
    The dice read "01."
    Nick stands up in his seat, points up, screams briefly, then shrugs his shoulders and says, "I always thought Cthulhu'd be bigger."

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  • exitexit Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    Pkmoutl wrote:
    Nick stands up in his seat, points up, screams briefly, then shrugs his shoulders and says, "I always thought Cthulhu'd be bigger."

    Win.

  • Mr.PinkMr.Pink Registered User
    edited April 2005
    My group's quest was to find this elven prophet which was being kept by this really evil drider named Dimitri. Our group consisted of a ranger, a mage, a rogue(me), a half-elven pally, a fighter, and a battle mage. In our group is also a NPC Troll theif. We are about levl 4. So we work our way through a petrified castle until we get to this room covered in spiderwebs and at the center of the ceiling is this Frankstein-esque drider women(basically a female drow stitched to a gaint spider's body). At the other end we see a cocoon that we assume is housing the prophet. As soon as we cut down the cocoon Dimitri comes out of no where and destroys the floor our group is standing on. Everyone hits the ground except our pally, Dimitri is levitating him. Dimitri brings our pally to himself and proceeds to cut off his arm and bask in his blood. Me, the mage, the fighter, and the ranger start climbing to go help our friend. He then drops our pally friend. Those climbing get about half way there when he drops something and creates a chain link floor above us. We cut it open proceed to stand on it. Now dimitri is completely ignoring us and is going over to is franken-bride to revive it. The ranger decides to kill the franked-bride and shoots it right in the head killing is instanly. Now Dimitri gets super pissed and goes after us. We start getting our asses kicked and then the fighter gets an idea to slash at Dimitri is such a way to cut the floor beneath him while hitting him the process. The fighter ends up rolling a 20 and succeeding and does a fairly large amount of damage. While he is falling I proceed to jump after him and backstab him then do a flip off before he can suck out my soul with his crazy amulet. Our pally is waiting at the bottom for him with his sword in his good arm. As soon as Dimitri lands our pally takes his sword and rams into Dimitri's skull. Dimitri is dead and our DM is super pissed because we weren’t supposed to have beaten him. It was our most badass battle yet. Everyone in our group thought we were dead the moment Dimitri showed up.

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    Pokemon Diamond: 0645 2317 9036
  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    So.. continuation of my group's usual Modern-Fantasy Breuckheimer Tribute campaign...

    For reference...
    Ryan (me) = Mage
    Steve = Martial Artist
    Braxton = Sniper

    So, after some misadventures, one involving a house filled with undead hand-creatures, we follow a trail to the (a?) New York City Morgue.
    I, using a badge I acquired off a dead cop's body (found him in a freezer a few sessions before), I used the mage spell "Change Self" to turn into said cop. Upon entering, we find the mortician, an old, nearly blind man, and start questioning him about certain people he's been meeting. Noting the fact that several corpses are missing hands AS WELL as a certain kidnapped woman inside of one of the slab lockers, we decide to rough him up a bit. At which point he calls a flesh golem out of the freezer.
    After a long and rather eventful fight during which my sniper companion finally believes magic exists (really, a 500lb fleshy gorilla?), I manage to kill it with a rather curiously runed Desert Eagle. We find out anything else we can from the guy, pick up a heavily[/i] encrypted disk, tie him up and pull out the evidence that he's been covering up murders in preperation for the inevitable police intervention.


    Next Session, we find a hacker via contacts who can decode our disc for us, so we split up for the time being. Braxton has to respond to a contact in trouble, while I and Steve decide to go talk to the hacker.
    We arrive and find that the apartment block is, in fact, a mafia safe-house. We find our hacker on the third floor, and suprised that it's a she, the decryption work starts. Steve explores a bit while I watch the hacker's own little surveilance suite, at which point we notice the goombah guarding the front door has pretty much been shot up, and that we're being assaulted by a very, very large mercenary force.

    then again the power being cut should've tipped us off.

    While this is happening, Our sniper goes to his rondez-vous and spots a suspicious looking car parked across the street. He confronts the man, who pulls a gun on him and forces him into the car. After a short and somewhat pointless discussion (we find out that he's a CULTIST!), Mr. Sniper pulls out a thermite grenade and thretens the man with it. The cultist responds with "I've made peace with my gods, Mr. Braxton, what about yo-" at which point he's already dropped the grenade in his lap and has dove out of the car. Cue fiery explosion, Braxton dodges a large crowd of people watching the fireworks to get into the club. He sits down, gives his contact some cash to escape with, and makes an almost bondish quip that I cannot recall. At this point, he gets a call on his cell, from us, telling him to get the fuck over to where we are. So he takes off in his Vanquish (!) and gets to us as fast as possible.

    We counter several attempts to storm the floor we're on, several amusing tactics are used such as cutting the ropes that they were rapelling down on (while they're on it! <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" /> ), and planting frag traps. After a few waves, Braxton arrives, finds out that they've disguised themselves as NYPD and have cordoned the area off. He sets up on a nearby building and starts an epic sniper's duel with a man we've dubbed the "AWP whore".

    We take several more waves of mercs from the stairs and fire-escape, we down them through bullets, grenades, dragon-fire-shells and steve doing an LAPD beatdown with a club. Braxton apparently manages to finish off the sniper and helps us clear what's left, watching the remaining mercs clear out of the area. The hacker finishes her decryption, and we leave, but not before getting one last scare from the half-dead sniper. We gather anything useful we can (such as a good dozen pairs of NVG's, combat shotguns, and an AWM for Braxton) and drive off with the real cops in hot persuit.

    Then I notice a wierd beeping coming from my glove-compartment. One hand on the wheel, cops in persuit, I manage to at least remove the bomb from it's spot and toss it into the east river before it explodes. The fortunate intervention of a reversing dump-truck managed to shake the cops.

    Next session...

    So, we decrypt the disc, we find out that the head of the group that's after us -a 60-year-old crippled man- is in one of two places. A boat in the NY harbor, or at his mansion in New England.
    Naturally, we go to the closest, the docks, to find out anything we can. We arrive, and find the boat's being loaded from a warehouse, and under rather tight guard.
    Me, in one of my not-so-bright moments, decide to sneak up and plant a bomb on one of the vans parked outside. I set the timer for 2:00, thinking that it'd be plenty of time. Unfortunately it goes off sooner than I though, and things heat up fast. A forklift driver spots me and drives past, trying to take a potshot at me. Fortunately steve tackles him and takes him out, and we duck back into cover. At this point, the people on the boat take out the big guns, and one guy starts running for the helicopter.. Braxton almost manages to take him down before he gets in and starts the machine. He's followed by a man on a wheelchair -our arch nemesis-, and after several failed attempts to kill the pilot, it takes off and heads north. Knowing the missions' pretty much blown, we retreat and call it a wash.

    NEXT SESSION

    We head to New Endland, we buy some nice new toys, such as camofluage and whatnot we decide to scope out the mansion. It's a fairly big walled compound, with a helipad and large garade. As well as an abandoned lighthouse a few hundred feet south. We spot a passing patrol and sneak to the lighthouse. Using a snake-light we spot a security camera inside. We get the hacker, who's turned my Humvee into a personal mobile network hub, managed to spoof the camera to let us in. Inside we find the usual goodies, illegal M16's and grenades, but the jewel of the bunch is a nice RPG7 with rounds to spare.

    I take the RPG7, stow it away in the hummer and just take my LAW with me (especially after that chopper got away). We distract some guards into the lighthouse, cleverly using the Change Self spell, and slot the three of them, the other two take their uniforms and we fake a radio problem a la 'TK421" and get into the suprisingly unguarded compound. I decide to set up radio-detonated charges in their vehicle garage, and was about to get the helicopter if not for a close-call with a bouncing-betty mind.

    So, we go in through the basement, apparently still unnoticed. We look around, found some secret compartments, one filled to the brim with C4 (my character was absolutely THRILLED), we spy a butler retrieving wine from the cellar. After having it pointed out to me that putting Formaldahyde in the wine will not kill anyone, we just make our way up to the main floor, placing C4 at structural weak-points along the way. We get into the kitchen, manage to slot the two guards eating dinner, and explore the mansion. After finding out what rooms are guarded, we set frag traps at certain doors, and make our way to the front of the building. We, rather loudly, manage to take out the two guarding the staircase and make our way up.

    We get a call, a mysterious tipster we've dealt with before, named rather originally, Mr. Smith, calls us and says that "they know we're here" and promptly hangs up.

    At this point we hear a helicopter. I deploy my LAW and head to a nearby window. We see a strange-looking black helicopter swoop over the courtyard walls, fire a hellfire into the parked chopper, and gun down several of the patrolling guards. It lands and unloads some very professional commandos. At this point we're thinking "YAY! they're on OUR SIDE!" considering we've dealt with a government agency previously, and they seemed somewhat sympathetic.

    Now, we bust through the main doors to be greeted by our nemesis, a feeble-looking old man in a wheelchair, clutching a blanket over his body. sitting at his desk in his office. After a short "You can kill me but my message will live on" speech, he takes off the blanket and reveals that he is, in fact, wearing a crapload of armor and has an M60 wielded in his lap. After taking two grenades and living, I cast "True Strike" on myself, grab my LAW, and fire it right at him.

    He was in a wheelchair because he couldn't use his legs. After this, that problem didn't exist anymore. Mainly because his legs -and most of his body below the waist- didn't exist anymore.

    The problem was, he didn't exactly mind having the half of him he couldn't feel removed, and continued firing his M60 untill steve made damn sure he wouldn't get up anymore.

    At this point the black chopper is hovering in front of the window, and miniguns the entire front room to shreds. Commandos storm in through the front door and braxton takes off the uniform, asking where Smith is. We hear:
    Who the fuck is Smith? Team Bravo, we have target delta in sight, fire at will.

    At this point we're all OH SHIT!. Even worse, our hacker calls for help, and then the signal breaks up.

    Braxton runs to the office, and we jump out of the newly-formed balcony. We make our way to the private docks, and sneak down the beach to the lighthouse. We make our way to the treeline and see the hummer being attacked. We all just literally jump in and burn rubber. We try to make our way to a highway, only to find out that the black helicopter is tailling us. He opens up with the minigun, but the armor we put on the hummer protected us.
    Braxton leans out the sunroof to try to get a shot at the pilot, while I toss Steve my RPG. The pilot takes a hit to the chest, while Steve manages to connect with two rockets. Thinking it better to not chase us, he drops his persuit.
    We drive like hell to the next town, and go into hiding.[/quote]

    zaku.png
    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: WaffleMous#1483
  • TheKoolEagleTheKoolEagle Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    i once rolled a die that landed on its corner... we all spazzed for like a minute, then i rerolled <img class=" title=":cry:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    Shadowrun

    I'm my usual retardedly twinked troll bruiser with about 13 str and 19 body, or something close. When we start, all our money is instantly lost. We are shit broke and have no mission. So me and my friends are scrounging. We manage to find a car and a can of gas, the car can fit me. So since i'm pretty goddamned dumb in charecter I say nothing. The thief like charecter in our group was played by a kid who likes to do random shit for no reason. He proceeds to pour all the gas on the car and light it on fire. This infuriated my troll. I picked up the car and landed about 4 successes on his ass. My GM didn't want him to die, and neither did I, so instead of asploding him like should have happened. He flew 40 feet, hit a wall, and took a fuckload worth of stun.

    I also smacked him with a used bedpan later that game.

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • MukaikuboMukaikubo Registered User
    edited April 2005
    I firmly believe a die that lands on its corner is code for "Double Plus Critical Hit", with something almost impossibly neat happening.

  • TheKoolEagleTheKoolEagle Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    Mukaikubo wrote:
    I firmly believe a die that lands on its corner is code for "Double Plus Critical Hit", with something almost impossibly neat happening.

    well it was ruined when one of the kids watching the battle picked it up and set it back down on the corner... it was like pissing on a church, YOU DONT DO IT!!!!

  • AllonAllon Registered User
    edited April 2005
    He...he touched your dice? And lived???? :shock:

    RPG.net wrote:
    You have been banned for the following reason:
    "Cockfags" is unacceptable language
    Date the ban will be lifted: 06-10-2006, 05:00 PM
  • LibrarianThorneLibrarianThorne Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    Should I relate the story of how a Noble in my Star Wars campaign has successfully managed to put a bounty out on Anakin Skywalker for somewhere around a million credits at level 1? Or should I relate the story of the Wookiee Jedi, the Rodians, and a Gamorrean bar?

  • MukaikuboMukaikubo Registered User
    edited April 2005
  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    Last night, the group's rogue managed to burn himself on a trap, and try to extinguish himself in raw sewage.

    and then he got mindraped an hour later after he put on a very evil bracelet.

    zaku.png
    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: WaffleMous#1483
  • CheesechickCheesechick Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    apotheos wrote:
    CoconutBoy wrote:
    The game: Cosmic Encounter (mayfair version) with More Cosmic Encounter (Moons, lucre, etc.)

    Cosmic encounter is a game that breaks it's own rules, and with moons, it breaks them doubly so. Normal win conditions are 5 outside bases... not this game.

    It's me and 3 others. First turn is Matt, he flips up my color and proceeds to ally with the other 2 and take a base. I'm not to unhappy, people lose bases. Since it was sucessful he gets to make another attack, he flips his own color and takes over one of his moons. The moon said "The person with the most bases (outside and inside) wins the game".

    Game over...

    This is my favorite story of the whole thread.

    That's because Cosmic Encounter > *

    <3<3<3

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LibrarianThorneLibrarianThorne Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    Well, in this Star Wars campaign set in the late Clone Wars era (during volume 2), I've got a rather eclectic group. There's a level 3 human Noble/smuggling boss, a level 3 rock star/Soldier, a level 3 Wookiee Jedi, a level 1 Ithorian Jedi, and a level 1 human Scoundrel.

    They get through a rather hazardous adventure (the returnign of two ancient Sith lightsabers to the Jedi on Coruscant, which involved assassin droids attacking them), and I'm wrapping things up. They've discovered that Count Dooku and a high-ranking Seperatist called Balshaa Laklu have called out hits on them in an attempt to get the lightsaber back. While the noble composes a return message to Dooku (a paragraph detailing how stupid Dooku is for attacking him, mostly), the Wookiee Jedi comes up with a brilliant plan. They're going to head to the ground of Coruscant, to a casino. The Scoundrel (with his +7 to Gamble) is of course excited about this, and the Ithorian goes along too. They find a small casino with two Gamorrean guards outside, some sabacc tables inside and a bar manned by a scarred Gamorrean.

    So, the Wookiee goes up to drink, and the Ithorian goes with him while the Scoundrel starts playing Sabacc. Every so often, two hooded figures will take a seat at the opposite end of the bar from the Wookiee and the Ithorian, until two hooded figures are on their right and two hooded figures are on their left. They're sitting there drinking, when two hooded figures come up behind them. "Come with us, Jeedai." Well, the Wookiee puts down his drink, and so does the Ithorian, and they both stand up. The Wookiee then goes into Wookiee Rage and spins around, using his lightsaber and decapitating one of the hooded figures. All hell breaks loose, as the hooded figures are revealed to be Rodian bounty hunters as they open fire. The Ithorian stands there deflecting the bolts going at him, as two rahter large and heavily armored Gamorreans head towards the fight.

    Things went downhill from there, I'll post more later.

  • blakfeldblakfeld Registered User
    edited April 2005
    alright, I dont get many chances to roleplay out side of LARP (mmm... LARP....) as no one around here wants to DM, but the one time I did, I do have a funny story.

    oh, and this was in AD&D 3rd ed

    Alright, I was an elven Cleric right, coupled with a member of the same guild, a dwarven Cleric. Were on a mission for out guild to obtain a ring from a hemp plantation farmer in a nearby city, but so is the other player, Mortigeth (or Mega Death as we called him) was on the same mission from his guild. So on the way there he causes us some trouble and he attacked us, and we beat the snot out of him, so we get to the city, and He rushes blindly into the plantation while I hit a few bars and gather some information. He cant lie, so he gets caught, and burried alive by the owner. fun. So were in a hotel, just waiting for mornign and planning out our stratagy, when we hear a rapping at our window, we look, and its Mortigeths familer, an owl. We open it, and it flies in and attempts to tell us where Mortigeth is and that he needs help. I look over at my dwarven friend, whip out my Morning-Star, club it, cook it, and eat it. Im sure theres a lesson in that.

  • ClearlyNotAGoombaClearlyNotAGoomba Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    This thread needs to be saved.

  • sexy_sakurasexy_sakura Registered User
    edited April 2005
    Greatest moment in Tabletop gaming......Monopoly is a tabletop game...How bout when you land on boardwalk. And it's available. That's pretty great. Never fails. Every time it's great.

  • DelzhandDelzhand motivated battle programmerRegistered User regular
    edited April 2005
    Last night, our GM let us start an Epic level campaign, so I spend an hour and a half creating a level 30 Sorceror. Here is how it went for me:

    We fail our dragon fear saves, except The Boy, because he is immune to fear.
    Jake takes his turn
    Peaches takes his turn
    The Boy takes his turn
    The Adult Force Dragon uses his breath weapon. We fail our reflex saves.
    Everyone takes 320 damage
    I die.

    My level 30 sorceror, with his Robe of the Archmagi and Rod of Greater Metamagic Maximization, and 10 Ioun stones, failed two saves and got one-shotted.

    jk0Btsj.png
  • INeedNoSaltINeedNoSalt Registered User regular
    edited April 2005
    I love this one.

    It's late at night, and for whatever reason, a Black Dragon and his coterie of Trolls [ don't ask my why the Acid-spitting dragon uses minions that are only harmable by acid and fire ] can be seen travelling through a rocky plain, one punctuated almost at random by extremely massive trees.

    The Dragon is still quite a ways off, and we formulate an awesome plan. The Druid begins to animate one of these trees. ...

    We send the meleers and the Cleric off ahead, and we climb into the massive, now animate tree. It takes off at a trot toward the dragon, eventually bypassing the running meleers down below.

    We reach the dragon, and it's quite a WTF when the dragon - who now seems to be accompanied by a high-level fighter and even *more* trolls - realizes what's going on. Lightning Bolts and blasts of energy begin to fly out of the tree and strike the massive reptile, tearing into it's thick, scaly shell.

    The meleers [a Barbarian and two Fighters, also a cleric] catch up and engage the Trolls.

    Needless to say, we pwnd that attack party. We decided we were going to take the Dragon to town, to A] use for leatherworking and alchemical purposed, B] for spell research for me, and C] for selling.

    Too bad the GM hated me, and decided that everything I might've used as a reagent or to aid in my halfling's reasearch had been decayed by the acid into the dragon's... acid sacs before we reached the castle.

    sometimes you just gotta do a thing
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