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The Dating Game (aka the Rules)

SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
edited July 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Do I play the game? No. Well, not really.

But I'm being gamed. Deliberately. It's an old classic;

meet on the weekend,
get in touch early in the next week,
go for weekday drinks
go for the Sunday early eve drink
get set up for the weekend date.

So according to my dating watch it's almost relationship o'clock. I can't remember the rest of the progression though. Is there one? I'd like to be one step ahead here. It's like there's a ritual here in play, and I have no idea what the rules are for it.

Sarcastro on
Edcrab wrote: »
"See," said Lucifer, "God's an asshole."

Posts

  • BlazeFireBlazeFire Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    They must have forgotten to give me my schedule when I entered the dating scene. You are way to preoccupied with "the rules" and some definite plan.

    You should relax more. Just go with the flow.

  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I believe the next step for a relationship is something that involves not drinking and a public place, or something that involves drinking and a non-public place. As your activities thus far have been based on drinking and a public place, it would be the only natural progression for that to be the next step.

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    So is this a thread complaining that you are getting into a relationship asking for advice on how to avoid one? Or asking what kind of date you should go on next to help the burgeoning relationship? The tone is all wonky I can't see for sure.

  • SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Me? I'm a go with the flow kind of guy. I really like the girl, but you can tell she has an agenda, a series of steps to follow in order to make herself feel comfortable. I'm all about making that work out for her.

    The steps so far have been outright Cosmo in thier application, so for sure there's something that should be done on our next date. I'd like to anticipate that idea, that setting, and make it something special.

    For sure the floor is also open for non-drinking activities in a public place, big city style.

    Edcrab wrote: »
    "See," said Lucifer, "God's an asshole."
  • Mr. PokeylopeMr. Pokeylope Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Continue to find fun ways you can get to know each other? It sounds like your really over thinking here.

    If you really want to know what she wants or is looking for the only way your going to find out is by asking her.

  • SixSix Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Ask her.

    XBL, PSN, & Steam: SixkillerNYC Twitter Flickr
  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    How about quit letting her decide what you do every time you meet up?

    That list seems like a pretty slow pace, be more fluid, take her to a party or concert, don't plan so much, just call her up one day and ask if she has time to hang out and then take her to the zoo or some shit.

    The zoo is an good place to get to know a person, but by the looks of your previous dates and all the "go for drinks" stuff you should know everything about her by now.

    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
  • Uncle LongUncle Long Registered User
    edited July 2007
    Sarcastro wrote: »
    Me? I'm a go with the flow kind of guy. I really like the girl, but you can tell she has an agenda, a series of steps to follow in order to make herself feel comfortable. I'm all about making that work out for her.

    The steps so far have been outright Cosmo in thier application, so for sure there's something that should be done on our next date. I'd like to anticipate that idea, that setting, and make it something special.

    For sure the floor is also open for non-drinking activities in a public place, big city style.

    Have you met her friends? Has she met your friends? I agree that if she's doing this Cosmo style there is going to be some silly guidelines that she wants to follow and trying to push her out of them might frazzle her a bit.

    I'm going to guess that the next thing you do should be kind of casual. Beer with friends on a sunny day, beach volleyball, or going to a ball game. But my guess is that you're into the get-to-know-the-friends territory.

  • BokiBoki __BANNED USERS
    edited July 2007
    Tell me, what are you going to do once you are IN a relationship with this girl?

    Plan every day for the rest of your relationship's life? Does this girl always need time to prepare?

    Just looking for flags.

  • WerrickWerrick Registered User
    edited July 2007
    Sarcastro wrote: »
    Do I play the game? No. Well, not really.

    But I'm being gamed. Deliberately. It's an old classic;

    meet on the weekend,
    get in touch early in the next week,
    go for weekday drinks
    go for the Sunday early eve drink
    get set up for the weekend date.

    So according to my dating watch it's almost relationship o'clock. I can't remember the rest of the progression though. Is there one? I'd like to be one step ahead here. It's like there's a ritual here in play, and I have no idea what the rules are for it.

    WHOA, there, Tecumseh!

    Not every relationship starts the same way. I've been in a "relationship" after one date. I've dated for 6 months and never even approached "relationship".

    This is part of the problem with the way society organizes itself, it's not always that simple. Human nature requires that we look for patterns, but at the end of the day instict is chaotic. There is no "relationship" until both parties tacitly agree and largely there it's agreed upon before it's even spoken. Typically speaking in my experience before a "relationship" can begin (and you'll notice the heavy use of quotation marks around the word in every case) one meets her/his friends and he/she meets your friends in a casual, public setting. If one rule is going to be applied... that's it.

    ...

    Oh, god... I have a pattern. Fuck sakes!

    "Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be rude without having their skulls split, as a general thing."

    -Robert E. Howard
    Tower of the Elephant
  • SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    TheLong wrote: »
    Sarcastro wrote: »
    Me? I'm a go with the flow kind of guy. I really like the girl, but you can tell she has an agenda, a series of steps to follow in order to make herself feel comfortable. I'm all about making that work out for her.

    The steps so far have been outright Cosmo in thier application, so for sure there's something that should be done on our next date. I'd like to anticipate that idea, that setting, and make it something special.

    For sure the floor is also open for non-drinking activities in a public place, big city style.

    Have you met her friends? Has she met your friends? I agree that if she's doing this Cosmo style there is going to be some silly guidelines that she wants to follow and trying to push her out of them might frazzle her a bit.

    I'm going to guess that the next thing you do should be kind of casual. Beer with friends on a sunny day, beach volleyball, or going to a ball game. But my guess is that you're into the get-to-know-the-friends territory.

    Interestingly enough, she does know almost all my friends, at least casually - thats how we met. A sort of intersecting circles kind of a thing. But the casual hangout - definately. That feels right somehow. I'll put something together. Right on.

    Edcrab wrote: »
    "See," said Lucifer, "God's an asshole."
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