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Jew Appreciation Thread

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  • Options
    ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I see a lack of Sarah Silverman in the OP.
    SHAME ON YOU!

    Zombot on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey I'm Jewish!
    Does this make me cool?

    Depends


    Can you make shavout?

    sarukun on
  • Options
    futilityfutility Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2007
    I see the evander signal
    and yet I see no evander.

    oh well at least I showed up right?

    futility on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Hey, you can't make a Jew thread unless your a Jew.

    Hell I have to go and contact the leader at Jewdar to inform him of this mess.

    Sheeh people get your own religions. We are an exclusive club that you can't get to so shoo.
    Being Jewish ain't a religion you silly fuck.

    Many people choose to embrace the jewish culture (YOU CAN'T RUN) but not Judaism. Like me.

    Jewish grandmothers are a special breed. Well, them and italian grandmothers. Pretty much the same.

    Well then your only getting Half the experience which means your half assed.

    Get the full on Experience.

    Go to Israel and join the Nazi Hunters.


    Wait


    Wait a second


    K_A

    is calling somebody out


    for doing something


    half-assed.


    I want everyone to pay attention to this.

    sarukun on
  • Options
    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Hey, you can't make a Jew thread unless your a Jew.

    Hell I have to go and contact the leader at Jewdar to inform him of this mess.

    Sheeh people get your own religions. We are an exclusive club that you can't get to so shoo.
    Being Jewish ain't a religion you silly fuck.

    Many people choose to embrace the jewish culture (YOU CAN'T RUN) but not Judaism. Like me.

    Jewish grandmothers are a special breed. Well, them and italian grandmothers. Pretty much the same.

    Well then your only getting Half the experience which means your half assed.

    Get the full on Experience.

    Go to Israel and join the Nazi Hunters.
    Jewish family drama is all the experience I need.

    And it's "you're".

    Faricazy on
  • Options
    ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Seriously, this thread needs more Sarah Silverman.
    Also Laura Silverman.

    Zombot on
  • Options
    Katchem_ashKatchem_ash __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2007
    sarukun wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey I'm Jewish!
    Does this make me cool?

    Depends


    Can you make shavout?

    My grandmother can. Am I cool now?

    Katchem_ash on
  • Options
    Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    apparently jews get pissed off if you say nothing but 'oi vey' around them for hours on end

    who woulda thunk

    Bob The Monkey on
  • Options
    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    sarukun wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey I'm Jewish!
    Does this make me cool?

    Depends


    Can you make shavout?

    My grandmother can. Am I cool now?

    I'm pretty sure the answer that question is always going to be no.

    Six on
    can you feel the struggle within?
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    sarukun wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey I'm Jewish!
    Does this make me cool?

    Depends


    Can you make shavout?

    My grandmother can. Am I cool now?

    No

    You cannot be cool by association when it comes to cooking

    because you cannot bring your grandomother to every party and barbecue we have.

    That's doing it half assed, you hypocrit.

    sarukun on
  • Options
    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    sarukun wrote: »
    Wait


    Wait a second


    K_A

    is calling somebody out


    for doing something


    half-assed.


    I want everyone to pay attention to this.


    Man, half-assed would be the last thing I would say about K_a. If he decides he loves something, he goes after it to the point of creepy. Thats what makes him awesome.

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • Options
    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Latkes are the most delicious thingies ever. Just munching on them for hours nawm nawm nawm

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • Options
    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    apparently jews get pissed off if you say nothing but 'oi vey' around them for hours on end

    who woulda thunk
    which jews

    they aren't real jews

    jewmasks

    real jews are very sarcastic about themselves

    every year the jewish comedians get together and choose one of them, put them in a fancy chair, and make fun of them for two hours

    i say oy vey all the time

    involuntarily

    Faricazy on
  • Options
    MonkeybombMonkeybomb Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I'm pretty done with the Sarah Silverman shtick, but here ya go.

    This pic is probably nsfw.

    Monkeybomb on
    Xbox Live Gamertag: Triplemonkeybom
    monkeysig-1.jpg
  • Options
    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I say mazel tov a lot, inappropriately

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • Options
    Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    apparently jews get pissed off if you say nothing but 'oi vey' around them for hours on end

    who woulda thunk
    which jews

    they aren't real jews

    jewmasks

    real jews are very sarcastic about themselves

    every year the jewish comedians get together and choose one of them, put them in a fancy chair, and make fun of them for two hours

    i say oy vey all the time

    involuntarily

    she wasn't much of a jew herself, rather one of her relatives was

    so she picked up all of the british anger without any of the jewish sense of comic self-criticism

    fun times were had

    Bob The Monkey on
  • Options
    Katchem_ashKatchem_ash __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2007
    apparently jews get pissed off if you say nothing but 'oi vey' around them for hours on end

    who woulda thunk

    My grandmother doesn't. Though she was born in the late 40 to early 50's, she doesn't many of the typical stuff that is said by jewish people. I haven't said 'oi vey' at all.

    Sakuran: Fine then. Expect someone to foreclose on everything you have. Yes your in Taiwan. Yes we are there. Yes your going to be living on the streets for the rest of your life. Bow and be amazed by the Jewish Financial Powers!

    Katchem_ash on
  • Options
    futilityfutility Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2007
    I am saddened by the fact that my undergrad university changed its name.
    Instead of having graduated from the university of judaism, I'm now an alumnus of the american jewish university.

    Seriously how do you rename your jewish university with such a name... that's just silly.

    futility on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    lostwords wrote: »
    Man, half-assed would be the last thing I would say about K_a. If he decides he loves something, he goes after it to the point of creepy. Thats what makes him awesome.

    Have you seen anything he has done besides buy things?


    I'll give you the collections, no nonsense about that.

    sarukun on
  • Options
    ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Monkeybomb wrote: »
    I'm pretty done with the Sarah Silverman shtick, but here ya go.

    This pic is probably nsfw.

    If you can find a picture of Laura Silverman like that,
    Then I will thank you from the bottom of my penis.

    Zombot on
  • Options
    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    sarukun wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey I'm Jewish!
    Does this make me cool?

    Depends


    Can you make shavout?

    My grandmother can. Am I cool now?

    No

    You cannot be cool by association when it comes to cooking

    because you cannot bring your grandomother to every party and barbecue we have.

    That's doing it half assed, you hypocrit.
    You are overlooking a very important Jewish tradition.

    Every week my grandma asks if I want her to make anything. She constantly makes my family and my uncle's family food.

    Including blini.

    God she makes so many.

    Faricazy on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    apparently jews get pissed off if you say nothing but 'oi vey' around them for hours on end

    who woulda thunk

    My grandmother doesn't. Though she was born in the late 40 to early 50's, she doesn't many of the typical stuff that is said by jewish people. I haven't said 'oi vey' at all.

    Sakuran: Fine then. Expect someone to foreclose on everything you have. Yes your in Taiwan. Yes we are there. Yes your going to be living on the streets for the rest of your life. Bow and be amazed by the Jewish Financial Powers!

    What, man, you're not the Mormons.


    Hell, the Catholics have a bigger presence here than you guys.

    Edit: Also I own basically nothing, so your evil money powers cannot harm me.

    sarukun on
  • Options
    ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Sometimes I wish I had the Jewfro.
    Most times I don't.

    Zombot on
  • Options
    MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    sarukun wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    I had a Jewish girlfriend once, but I'm pretty sure she only dated me (large black man) to get back at her parents. She got a tattoo, so I think she's out now.

    I hope you had some really furious "take that mom and dad" sex.

    She pretty much had righteous, unfocused anger at everyrthing and everyone, which manifested into a very special time for me.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • Options
    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Every week my grandma asks if I want her to make anything. She constantly makes my family and my uncle's family food.

    Including blini.

    God she makes so many.


    My grandmother (Italian) was very much like that but now she's too old.

    Six on
    can you feel the struggle within?
  • Options
    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Also, matza ball soup is my third favorite soup, behind cream of chicken (with large chicken chunks) and a nice baked potato soup.

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • Options
    scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Seinfeld has been to several Scientology lectures, apparently. He said in an interview that he liked what he was hearing.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey I'm Jewish!
    Does this make me cool?

    Depends


    Can you make shavout?

    My grandmother can. Am I cool now?

    No

    You cannot be cool by association when it comes to cooking

    because you cannot bring your grandomother to every party and barbecue we have.

    That's doing it half assed, you hypocrit.
    You are overlooking a very important Jewish tradition.

    Every week my grandma asks if I want her to make anything. She constantly makes my family and my uncle's family food.

    Including blini.

    God she makes so many.

    Oh, that's just not fair.


    I wish my grandma still lived in the same state as me.


    :cry:

    sarukun on
  • Options
    AirAir Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    sarukun wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    Man, half-assed would be the last thing I would say about K_a. If he decides he loves something, he goes after it to the point of creepy. Thats what makes him awesome.

    Have you seen anything he has done besides buy things?


    I'll give you the collections, no nonsense about that.

    well he is committed to making those purchases at least

    didnt he say he collected pokemon cards for about 2 months
    and has a crate the size of a childs coffin full of cards

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • Options
    Katchem_ashKatchem_ash __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey I'm Jewish!
    Does this make me cool?

    Depends


    Can you make shavout?

    My grandmother can. Am I cool now?

    No

    You cannot be cool by association when it comes to cooking

    because you cannot bring your grandomother to every party and barbecue we have.

    That's doing it half assed, you hypocrit.
    You are overlooking a very important Jewish tradition.

    Every week my grandma asks if I want her to make anything. She constantly makes my family and my uncle's family food.

    Including blini.

    God she makes so many.

    Yeah, its the weekend for us that we go to her house. My Grandfather and everyone else enjoys the food. I take my girlfriend with as well but she complains she'll get fat, but my grandmother force feeds her says she's all bones. Its a fun thing to watch. I just put a jug of water or pop infront of my plate to stop her putting anything in. Cover for the Win!

    Katchem_ash on
  • Options
    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Italian and Jewish grandmothers are cut from the same mold.

    also

    christians pray to god












    jews blame god

    Faricazy on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Malkor wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    I had a Jewish girlfriend once, but I'm pretty sure she only dated me (large black man) to get back at her parents. She got a tattoo, so I think she's out now.

    I hope you had some really furious "take that mom and dad" sex.

    She pretty much had righteous, unfocused anger at everyrthing and everyone, which manifested into a very special time for me.

    I imagine it was a tumultuous relationship with tons of really angry sex.

    sarukun on
  • Options
    Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    mormons so crazy

    Bob The Monkey on
  • Options
    futilityfutility Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Italian and Jewish grandmothers are cut from the same mold.

    also

    christians pray to god












    jews blame god

    uh no they don't
    they're chosen to serve and do so with thanks

    futility on
  • Options
    MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Zombot wrote: »
    Monkeybomb wrote: »
    I'm pretty done with the Sarah Silverman shtick, but here ya go.

    This pic is probably nsfw.

    If you can find a picture of Laura Silverman like that,
    Then I will thank you from the bottom of my penis.

    Is Heeb a real magazine? Blacks have Essence and Jet. I'd be glad if those guys had their own literature to subtly hate on other folk.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Air wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    Man, half-assed would be the last thing I would say about K_a. If he decides he loves something, he goes after it to the point of creepy. Thats what makes him awesome.

    Have you seen anything he has done besides buy things?


    I'll give you the collections, no nonsense about that.

    well he is committed to making those purchases at least

    didnt he say he collected pokemon cards for about 2 months
    and has a crate the size of a childs coffin full of cards

    Yeah, when it comes to spending money he is on point for sure.

    sarukun on
  • Options
    ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Malkor wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Monkeybomb wrote: »
    I'm pretty done with the Sarah Silverman shtick, but here ya go.

    This pic is probably nsfw.

    If you can find a picture of Laura Silverman like that,
    Then I will thank you from the bottom of my penis.

    Is Heeb a real magazine? Blacks have Essence and Jet. I'd be glad if those guys had their own literature to subtly hate on other folk.

    It's real.
    I saw it once in a bookshop a long time ago.
    I haven't seen it since.

    Zombot on
  • Options
    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Whenever I say I don't want something at her table, my grandma asks my mom if she should give it to me.

    The other week i refused something and my grandma went "gah, fine, don't eat."

    IT WAS A GLORIOUS VICTORY

    then my mom goes "just give it to him!"

    i gave her a terrible death stare

    years of working away at the feeding

    gone

    just like that

    Faricazy on
  • Options
    Katchem_ashKatchem_ash __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2007
    Hey, we are the chosen people, why would be blame God? Granted I am not very religious and don't follow some of the teachings (eating only things from the sea which swim, that excludes lobster, crab, squid etc which would cause me not to eat sushi). Otherwise, I am pork free since I was born and I don't drink.

    Katchem_ash on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    At my house if there is ever any amount of food that some one does not want to eat or cannot finish, I always hear the following words.


    "Give it to Brian, he will eat it."


    I have a weight problem.

    sarukun on
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