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Art of Falconire

falconirefalconire Registered User regular
edited August 2007 in Artist's Corner
These are two pieces of art for an upcoming comic I'm working on. The cover may be used as some sort of advertisement in the future and the sequential piece is sort of a practice piece for the actual comic I'll be doing, really just made to stretch my creative muscles and ad to my person gallery.

In any case I'd like to hear what people think of them. If you are going to critique and have something negative to say then have the respect to offer some decent advice on how to change the problem, otherwise all critique is welcome.

teamcover.jpg

AGmini1.jpg

falconire on
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Posts

  • DMACDMAC Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited August 2007
    I hate the font Matisse almost as much as I hate Comic Sans...

    ...almost.

    A lot of people who want to create comics would benefit from reading Scott McCloud's Making Comics. Your panel layout/storytelling needs as much work as the art.

    Setting up the locations of the characters and their relative positions is important. Is the girl up on the balcony? Is the man across the street from her? Is the extreme close-up of her coffee cup with dialog balloons overlapping it necessary?

    Also: "Unfortunately" and "infinite".

    forum_sig
    DarrenMAC on Xbox Live | deviantART | Twitter | Tumblr | Facebook
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    i don't care for the art but i much applaud the effort. just keep at it.
    good use of backgrounds!

    the word balloons might be a touch big., get a little hard to follow in places


    1) As a small side note, one day, I really hope to be King Penis of Fuck Mountain.

    2) No shitty anime or wolf-people, take that crap to deviant art
  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    tits of "steal"? Shouldn't that be steel?

  • AgoodzAgoodz Registered User
    edited August 2007
    You have improved your line quality sir.

    ....


    baaahahahaha

  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    At least the eyes are symmetrical now.

    #1: Why are they emotionless drones? Even comic faces can have expression.
    #2: Use better colors. The ones right now are actually making me a bit ill. Use a color scheme generator if you have to.
    #3: Try not to be an arrogant prick this time and listen to critiques.


    Edit: You know, if you gave them actual eyes and not little circles filled with white, this wouldn't be so bad.

  • falconirefalconire Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Gonna fix those spelling errors right a way, thanks for pointing them out. I will definatly check out that book that you mentioned but does anyone know a good book on body language and how to improve it?

  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    falconire wrote: »
    Gonna fix those spelling errors right a way, thanks for pointing them out. I will definatly check out that book that you mentioned but does anyone know a good book on body language and how to improve it?

    http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=29171

    Scroll down to Anatomy & Illustration - it's probably in one with "dynamic" in the title.

  • lilchingch0nglilchingch0ng Registered User
    edited August 2007
    do you think you could maybe...avoid the whole eye drawn over the hair thing? i know you see it alot in some older anime but that doesn't make it not weird to look at.

  • lilchingch0nglilchingch0ng Registered User
    edited August 2007
    i don't care for the art but i much applaud the effort. just keep at it.
    good use of backgrounds!

    the word balloons might be a touch big., get a little hard to follow in places

    i liked you better when you were angrier

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    i don't care for the art but i much applaud the effort. just keep at it.
    good use of backgrounds!

    the word balloons might be a touch big., get a little hard to follow in places

    i liked you better when you were angrier

    We really don't need any more anger in a falconire thread.

    It's really difficult to tell what's going on in the sequential piece, dude. Having the text bubbles go up and down in a zig zag pattern isn't really helping.

    The text balloons are huge relative to the amount of text actually being delivered, and their placement distracts from the artwork panels. While I can't comment on the writing, at least fix the spelling mistakes and proofread it before you post this stuff online.

    As for the artwork, well the characters look even stiffer than your old characters, the blank expressions and "little orphan annie" eyes are disturbing, and your simplified style seems more at home in a children's picture book than in an adult comic.

    The colours are over saturated to the point of distraction, and your character's shading exists independently of your omnipresent light sources.

    Your lines seem to be more consistent than they were before, which is good, but they're completely uniform, which is boring. You will eventually have to learn how to vary your line weights, but honestly you need to, yes, work on your anatomy first. It will let you draw characters in a style more appropriate to the story you're trying to tell, and will improve your other drawing skills while you practise.

  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Ah, that's the phrase I was looking for. The colors make me gag because of the over saturation.

    :^:

  • CyberMonkeytron3000CyberMonkeytron3000 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    If you are going to use shots like the one you have used for the cover, really focus on the ground plane that your characters are standing on. That chick in the pink would have to be about 15- 20 feet tall to be standing on the same level as the guy in the front. Unless that is her power.

    You also have to remember that people are affected by perspective as well. We are looking up at the characters, so you would see more of their underneaths. You would certainly be looking up the skirt of that dude. The legs on the goth girl are in the right direction- you just have to imagine that same cylinder approach to the rest of them.

  • core tacticcore tactic Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Coffee.


    Please use spellcheck, it underlines words in red for a reason.

    6700ab2ed7bb6f9876150c388a78a011.png
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    i came back to the internet just to tell you that i really want you to continue this comic cause i like it and i think the concept is great. so continue plz.
    thnx

    bandpractice_sig.jpg
  • NakedElfNakedElf Registered User
    edited August 2007
    If the heat's a bitch, then why are they both wearing really hot clothes? I mean, that overcoat he's wearing looks practically woolly, and her jacket's not going to do good things for air circulation. Not to mention giant plastic boots... I mean, sure, everyone's got their 'style', especially in comic books, but 'I wear really temperature-inappropriate clothing and then bitch about the weather' is just a major turn-off to me.

    In the middle section, I'm not sure in which order I should read the word panels.

    There are two useless panels, the one with the closeup of the coffee cup and the one of the wall. I mean, I guess the point is that the brother was standing there, and now he's not? I think it'd be better to have the shot of her with her binocs in the place where the cofee cup is, and then have the bottom be more of a wide panel like the first one, showing the entire street scene she's spying on. You could even make the borders round so it looks like we're looking through the binocs.

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    beavotron wrote: »
    i came back to the internet just to tell you that i really want you to continue this comic cause i like it and i think the concept is great. so continue plz.
    thnx

    TITS OF STEAL

  • AgoodzAgoodz Registered User
    edited August 2007
    NakedElf wrote: »
    If the heat's a bitch, then why are they both wearing really hot clothes?


    Trigun does not approve of this line of questioning.

  • falconirefalconire Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    There are two useless panels, the one with the closeup of the coffee cup and the one of the wall. I mean, I guess the point is that the brother was standing there, and now he's not? I think it'd be better to have the shot of her with her binocs in the place where the cofee cup is, and then have the bottom be more of a wide panel like the first one, showing the entire street scene she's spying on. You could even make the borders round so it looks like we're looking through the binocs.

    Not a bad idea. One of the reasons I did this comic was to improve my ability to storytell and do sequential work.

  • NakedElfNakedElf Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Agoodz wrote: »
    NakedElf wrote: »
    If the heat's a bitch, then why are they both wearing really hot clothes?


    Trigun does not approve of this line of questioning.


    Yeah, but he's not exactly *human*, so who knows what his internal heat-regulatory system is like...

  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Well, typically in a desert western enviroment, you wear layers to keep the heat out and the moisture in... Downtown Seatle's a little different.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AgoodzAgoodz Registered User
    edited August 2007
    NakedElf wrote: »
    Agoodz wrote: »
    NakedElf wrote: »
    If the heat's a bitch, then why are they both wearing really hot clothes?


    Trigun does not approve of this line of questioning.


    Yeah, but he's not exactly *human*, so who knows what his internal heat-regulatory system is like...

    Touché.

  • CatnipCatCatnipCat Registered User
    edited August 2007
    not enough art in this thread

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • falconirefalconire Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    beavotron wrote: »
    i came back to the internet just to tell you that i really want you to continue this comic cause i like it and i think the concept is great. so continue plz.
    thnx

    The sequential piece was actually one of four in a mini-comic I did to work out some bugs in my art. In the next coming months this 'Uncommons' comic will be a full fledged webcomic but I want a cintex tablet first, otherwise I won't have the time to do more than one page a week.

    I have taken the advise earlier mentioned to stop using pupils only for eyes. I normally don't even draw eyes that way but when I started my first comic I wanted a more cartoonish look, something similar to clerks cartoon. However, I'm changing it back.

    I'll also add a few more pieces of art here since someone mentioned I needed more actual art in this art thread. So here are a few pieces.

    This is parody of Watchmen I did with my old comic characters which came out about week before we took the site down.

    watchmen.jpg

    These next two are pages 2 and 3 of the American Girl mini-comic (see above for page 1). The third one isn't finished but you can probably see where I've made changes to page 2.

    AGmini2.jpg

    AGmini3.jpg

  • ShiboeShiboe Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Ok, you got me. I laughed ridiculously hard at that last one. First it looks like she's gonna do some cartwheels, then she turns into a weird reverse man-torso, then two group shots raising confusion to impossible levels, followed by random explosion in hilarious pose, with a grand finally of "spidey-sense" while something is expelled from her groin at high velocity.

    Well played sir. Well played.

    If this is serious though, two things.

    1) I'd suggest you stop drawing like this right now. The characters, to be blunt, look terrible. That kind of terrible you only really see when someone talented intentionally draws something poor, using all their wisdom of which things to do wrong. Draw from life, copy other comics, basically, find out how to draw in an aesthetically pleasing way, then you can come back and laugh (or cry) at this, safe in your hammock of the future.

    2) If you really want to practice comics or whatever, simplify to your level, and focus on what that comic practice can teach you. Use stick figures, practice perspective, dynamic angles, dynamic poses, and communicating through imagery. Trying to do everything at once is getting you very little of anything meaningful.

  • falconirefalconire Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Well you're entitled to your opinion but for the record the third page is once again unfinished.

  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2007
  • CheerfulBearCheerfulBear Registered User
    edited August 2007
    When can we exspect page 3 to be compleated? Also what program do you use for your backrounds?

  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Just so we're clear, this thread isn't a contest to see who can come up with the best passive-aggressive snipes. I'm not singling anyone out, but I'd like to make sure it's clear from this point on.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    falconire wrote: »
    beavotron wrote: »
    i came back to the internet just to tell you that i really want you to continue this comic cause i like it and i think the concept is great. so continue plz.
    thnx

    The sequential piece was actually one of four in a mini-comic I did to work out some bugs in my art. In the next coming months this 'Uncommons' comic will be a full fledged webcomic but I want a cintex tablet first, otherwise I won't have the time to do more than one page a week.

    I have taken the advise earlier mentioned to stop using pupils only for eyes. I normally don't even draw eyes that way but when I started my first comic I wanted a more cartoonish look, something similar to clerks cartoon. However, I'm changing it back.

    I'll also add a few more pieces of art here since someone mentioned I needed more actual art in this art thread. So here are a few pieces.

    This is parody of Watchmen I did with my old comic characters which came out about week before we took the site down.

    watchmen.jpg

    These next two are pages 2 and 3 of the American Girl mini-comic (see above for page 1). The third one isn't finished but you can probably see where I've made changes to page 2.

    AGmini2.jpg

    AGmini3.jpg

    quoted for this page



    Cintex tablet - do you mean a Cintiq tablet? I know you were talking about getting a tablet before, so I'm not sure if you got yourself a grapphire or Intuos and want to 'upgrade' to a Cintiq.

    You really don't need to buy one. Wacom's Cintiq line starts at $2499 USD, and while certainly a professional tool, it won't do much to improve the parts of your comic that you really need to work on. At your level, it would be an incredible waste of money, especially if you already have an introductory Wacom.

    A good rule of thumb is that if your artwork is making you enough money to pay for that Cintiq/Intuos/Whatever piece of equipment, then you're probably at the point where you can consider upgrading.

  • falconirefalconire Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Rolo wrote: »
    falconire wrote: »
    beavotron wrote: »
    i came back to the internet just to tell you that i really want you to continue this comic cause i like it and i think the concept is great. so continue plz.
    thnx

    Cintex tablet - do you mean a Cintiq tablet? I know you were talking about getting a tablet before, so I'm not sure if you got yourself a grapphire or Intuos and want to 'upgrade' to a Cintiq.

    You really don't need to buy one. Wacom's Cintiq line starts at $2499 USD, and while certainly a professional tool, it won't do much to improve the parts of your comic that you really need to work on. At your level, it would be an incredible waste of money, especially if you already have an introductory Wacom.

    A good rule of thumb is that if your artwork is making you enough money to pay for that Cintiq/Intuos/Whatever piece of equipment, then you're probably at the point where you can consider upgrading.

    I'm not buying it to improve my figure drawing or technique. Right now my process of creating a finished page is write/pencil/ink/erase/scan/edit/color/shade/letter but with a tablet I can simply draw into (other than the benefit of a more mobile piece of equipment) this process will change to write/draw/edit/color/shade/letter. In other words I want it so I can save time because please understand that I work 40+ hours a week so I don't have time to do more than one finished page a week right now. My goal is two (plus the added benefit of a cinteq is there will no longer be scanning errors/sharpness problems) pages a week on the new comic I'm planning in the next couple of weeks.

    Also, I've found cinteqs for as low as $1800 which isn't really a lot of money for a good investment.

    Someone mentioned when page 3 will be up and finished so here is the finished page, whiether you like it or not (and if you don't I honestly don't care that much, it's a free country and Todd McFarlen wasn't born in a day).

    AGmini3-1.jpg

    With this piece I've already decided that I don't like how the fireball came out but in my next attempt to draw one at least I'll have something to go on. The image below is another piece I did a while back, which wasn't inked by me but just to show a little diversity of what I can and can't do.

    battle.jpg

  • NakedElfNakedElf Registered User
    edited August 2007
    falconire wrote: »

    Someone mentioned when page 3 will be up and finished so here is the finished page, whiether you like it or not (and if you don't I honestly don't care that much, it's a free country and Todd McFarlen wasn't born in a day).

    If you don't want feedback, don't bother to post on an art critiquing forum.

    When people tell you that the pages look bad, I recommend listening. The speed lines and... large lump coming out of her vagina in the last panel look really weird. Your excuse that the first version you posted was unfinished doesn't cut it--the 'final' version still had the speed lines and lump coming out of her vagina. In fact, in the final version you didn't change any of the major problems.

    Grammatically, you want "Now who's the Filch?" not "who'se".

  • DMACDMAC Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited August 2007
    falconire wrote: »
    Someone mentioned when page 3 will be up and finished so here is the finished page, whiether you like it or not (and if you don't I honestly don't care that much, it's a free country and Todd McFarlen wasn't born in a day).

    Really? His mother was in labor for over 24 hours? Yikes.

    forum_sig
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  • GodfatherGodfather Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    NakedElf wrote: »
    falconire wrote: »

    Someone mentioned when page 3 will be up and finished so here is the finished page, whiether you like it or not (and if you don't I honestly don't care that much, it's a free country and Todd McFarlen wasn't born in a day).

    If you don't want feedback, don't bother to post on an art critiquing forum.

    When people tell you that the pages look bad, I recommend listening. The speed lines and... large lump coming out of her vagina in the last panel look really weird. Your excuse that the first version you posted was unfinished doesn't cut it--the 'final' version still had the speed lines and lump coming out of her vagina. In fact, in the final version you didn't change any of the major problems.

    Grammatically, you want "Now who's the Filch?" not "who'se".



    And here in lies Falconire's achillies heel:


    Listening.


    I'm gonna say this is about the third Falconire thread i've seen since i've been here, and it's always the same; the man posts some art generally thinking that people will overlook the shoddy skills in favor of the overall concept of the work, but when he gets critiques over what he really needs to work on, suddenly to him we're just cramping his "style", and we're all against him or some shit like that. After that, he'll end the topic on a bad note and run away from it, hoping that if he waits a few more months before posting another topic the community will give him a more positive view point of his artwork.

    Falconire, the art in that first topic looks exactly the same as the art in this one. I'm not trying to tear you down here, i'm just stating a straight-up honest observation. You need to step away from the thought of buying a tablet and start on pencil and paper. Take that saved money and invest in a basic drawing class for now. Learn to draw what you see. It sounds boring, repetitive, and mundane, but trust me when I say that it's the only way you're going to improve.

    It's going to take years of work before you can crank out illustrations that'll be halfway decent. I've been drawing for about two years now, and i'm in no condition to even think about taking my shit digitally. There's just so much you need to work on that it's almost staggering. I really don't like giving crits man; it's just not something that I enjoy doing anymore. But i'll make an exception if there is an absolute need for it, and this is one of those cases.

    Just put aside these concepts that you have for now, wipe the slate clean and just start fresh. Buy a cheap notebook to jot down these story ideas that you have and save them for later when you garnish the artistic skills. You're only holding yourself back with this whole comic thing, and if you ever really want people to get interested in your work you're gonna have to suck up your pride, forget everything you think you know about art, and learn the right way.

    I might have wasted my time with this post, but I figured i'd give it a shot anyways.

    0WBv0.png
  • Grim OutlookGrim Outlook Registered User
    edited August 2007
    so you're buying a tablet so you can make mediocre comics even faster?

    godfather's right, you should probably ditch this comic thing of yours and learn how to draw.

  • DangeriskDangerisk Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Dropping 2 grand on a tablet is not a good idea at this stage. Do some work with traditional media. Grab a sheet of paper and a pencil and just draw your desk or a banana or anything in front of you. If anything, get one of the cheaper tablets. If your goal is to make drawing your comics more efficient, then a tablet that costs a few grand is totally unnecessary.

    I want a tablet, but I'm not going to get one. Why? Cause I think I need more experience working in pencil, paint and any other medium that catches my attention before working in digital. Each different medium has a different feel to it, find something you like. I believe that when I'm ready for a tablet, my skills will transfer over to the tablet with a little practice.

    To be honest, your style right now is a dime a dozen. You've obviously put more effort into it than most comics we see around here, but it still looks like it was churned out in MSpaint. Now I've seen some pretty good stuff in MSpaint, but that just proves that it is the artist and not the tools. Sit down and just pick up a pencil. You need nothing else to make something beautiful.

    I'm going to stop now. Like everyone has given you similar advice here. I don't think you'll listen, but I hope you do. Good luck.

    If what you say is true, the Shaolin and the Wu-Tang could be DANGERISK.
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    No no, guys! He should totally go ahead and buy that Cintiq. His skills will improve 20 folds, also his grammar!

    These guys are trying to hold your skills back, Falc. Don't listen to them. Go buy that $2,500 tablet, you'll see a noticable improvement.

    tostadas.png
  • DangeriskDangerisk Registered User
    edited August 2007
    No no, guys! He should totally go ahead and buy that Cintiq. His skills will improve 20 folds, also his grammar!

    These guys are trying to hold your skills back, Falc. Don't listen to them. Go buy that $2,500 tablet, you'll see a noticable improvement.

    Haha all I could think of when I opened up that website was falconire sitting at his desk with a 20inch tablet in front of him drawing his comics. Then I laughed :(.

    If what you say is true, the Shaolin and the Wu-Tang could be DANGERISK.
  • core tacticcore tactic Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Wow, you must either be a millonaire or have incredibly, INCREDIBLY generous parents.

    6700ab2ed7bb6f9876150c388a78a011.png
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I got a old graphire for free, and thought it would make me better.

    Boy was I wrong.

  • AgoodzAgoodz Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Godfather wrote: »

    And here in lies Falconire's achillies heel:

    Listening.

    That, and uh...

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