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Posts
I have found my new favorite lawsuit.
Not someone who has won it, not the ones who give it out, the actual award itself.
I know what that is, but I prefer to read it as
British sass
So I can giggle about some guy sueing the brits for their snarky comments.
Let's all sue objects and events, all the cool kids are doing it.
"Larry King Live is a voodoo witch doctor who stole my Identity on Feb 25th 2003 and purchased lead paint, chips ahoy, Planters peanuts and zip lock bags under my Identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my DNA"
Somehow calling himself "secured party" is what makes it hilarious to me.
It was not pleasant.
Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: WaffleMous#1483
"Defendants inserted micro chips and are dashing my hopes
Plaintiff respectfully asks this court for relief and to order a restraining order against defendants and NASA."
JONATHON LEE RICHES©
d/b/a “SECURED PARTY,â€
Plaintiff, CASE NUMBER: 07-13041
HONORABLE VICTORIA A. ROBERTS
v.
GUANTANAMO BAY et. al.
ORDER DISMISSING PLAINTIFF’S COMPLAINT
Jonathon Lee Riches (“Plaintiffâ€) filed a Complaint against Guantanamo Bay, The
Hague, Abu Grab Prison, Soviet Gulag Archipelago, Bellevue Hospital, Tehran Iran’s
Evin Prison, Riker’s Island, United States Penitentiary Coleman Florida, Auschwitz
Concentration Camp, San Quentin, Chester County Prison Pennsylvania, Geneva
Convention, My Lai Massacre, Attica Correctional Facility, Cool Hand Luke, Cook
County Jail, Robbins Island, Bataan Death March, Alcatraz Penitentiary, Geo Group,
Navy Brig Charleston S.C., “TDCJ†Texas Department Criminal Justice, Hillsborough
County Jail Tampa Florida, Shawshank Redemption, Correction Corp. Of America
“CCA†(collectively “Defendantsâ€). Plaintiff alleges that Defendants inter alia engaged in
a conspiracy to: 1) kidnap his mind; 2) steal his identity; 3) violate his copyrighted name;
4) force him to eat rats; and 5) subject him to microwave testing. Plaintiff seeks $728
trillion dollars in damages.
The Court generally may not sua sponte dismiss a complaint where the filing fee
has been paid unless the court gives the plaintiff the opportunity to amend the
complaint. Tingler v. Marshall, 716 F.2d 1109, 1111-12 (6th Cir.1983). A dismissal,
however, is warranted “pursuant to Rule 12(b)(1) of the Federal Rules of Civil
Procedure when the allegations of a complaint are totally implausible, attenuated,
unsubstantial, frivolous, devoid of merit, or no longer open to discussion.†Apple v.
Glenn, 183 F.3d 477, 479 (6th Cir.1999); see also Dekoven v. Bell, 142 F.Supp.2d 748,
755 (E.D.Mich. 2001). A complaint may be dismissed as frivolous “where it lacks an
arguable basis either in law or in fact†and includes allegations that are “clearly
baselessâ€, “fantasticâ€, or “delusional.†Neitzke v. Williams, 490 U.S. 319, 325 (1989);
see also, Denton v. Hernandez, 504 U.S. 25, 32 (1992).
Because Plaintiff’s allegations are baseless, fantastic and delusional, the Court
dismisses his Complaint.
IT IS SO ORDERED.
S/Victoria A. Roberts
Victoria A. Roberts
Dated: 8/8/07 United States District Judge
Is that the one he's in? Where he wants his 63 double billion dollars delivered?
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
Haha man that is so sigged.
the hague isn't even a damn prison
it's a fucking city
I had a dude that used to come into my work to copy page after page of insane free-association ramblings he tried to pass off as a novel
the shit was incredible, and pretty similar to the sort of shit we're seeing Mr Riches pull off here
Steam
how can you sue a land formation?
The dude has copywritten his name.
"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process."
Imagine all of my posts being spoken by Alec Baldwin
GamerTag: MunkusBeaver ||||| Steam: munkus
Oh God
"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process."
Imagine all of my posts being spoken by Alec Baldwin
GamerTag: MunkusBeaver ||||| Steam: munkus
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