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Posts

  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Ninja Samurai Fighters.

    I have found my new favorite lawsuit.

  • SoundwaveSoundwave Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Nobel Peace Prize

    Not someone who has won it, not the ones who give it out, the actual award itself.

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  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User
    edited August 2007
    He's suing the british SAS.

    I know what that is, but I prefer to read it as

    British sass

    So I can giggle about some guy sueing the brits for their snarky comments.

  • SoundwaveSoundwave Registered User
    edited August 2007
    "Brooklin Bridge", "Golden Gate Bridge", "Gay Pride Parade"

    Let's all sue objects and events, all the cool kids are doing it.

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  • OfficiousGOfficiousG Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Jonathan Lee., Riches(c) A.K.A. "Secured Party" v. Jewish Mossad et al

    "Larry King Live is a voodoo witch doctor who stole my Identity on Feb 25th 2003 and purchased lead paint, chips ahoy, Planters peanuts and zip lock bags under my Identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my DNA"

    Somehow calling himself "secured party" is what makes it hilarious to me.

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  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Larry King hijacked my torso once.

    It was not pleasant.

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    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: WaffleMous#1483
  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2007
    Garage Sale Theft Operation

  • mcpmcp Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    That guy is just a wonderful human being.

    "Defendants inserted micro chips and are dashing my hopes

    Plaintiff respectfully asks this court for relief and to order a restraining order against defendants and NASA."

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  • OfficiousGOfficiousG Registered User
    edited August 2007
    ok, just one more. You can figure out his actual complaint from this. (that thing about "not paying fees" wasn't the complaint in the case with 57 pages of defendants, it was just the reason the case got thrown out.)

    JONATHON LEE RICHES©
    d/b/a “SECURED PARTY,”
    Plaintiff, CASE NUMBER: 07-13041
    HONORABLE VICTORIA A. ROBERTS
    v.
    GUANTANAMO BAY et. al.


    ORDER DISMISSING PLAINTIFF’S COMPLAINT
    Jonathon Lee Riches (“Plaintiff”) filed a Complaint against Guantanamo Bay, The
    Hague, Abu Grab Prison, Soviet Gulag Archipelago, Bellevue Hospital, Tehran Iran’s
    Evin Prison, Riker’s Island, United States Penitentiary Coleman Florida, Auschwitz
    Concentration Camp, San Quentin, Chester County Prison Pennsylvania, Geneva
    Convention, My Lai Massacre, Attica Correctional Facility, Cool Hand Luke, Cook
    County Jail, Robbins Island, Bataan Death March, Alcatraz Penitentiary, Geo Group,
    Navy Brig Charleston S.C., “TDCJ” Texas Department Criminal Justice, Hillsborough
    County Jail Tampa Florida, Shawshank Redemption, Correction Corp. Of America
    “CCA” (collectively “Defendants”). Plaintiff alleges that Defendants inter alia engaged in
    a conspiracy to: 1) kidnap his mind; 2) steal his identity; 3) violate his copyrighted name;
    4) force him to eat rats; and 5) subject him to microwave testing. Plaintiff seeks $728
    trillion dollars in damages.

    The Court generally may not sua sponte dismiss a complaint where the filing fee
    has been paid unless the court gives the plaintiff the opportunity to amend the
    complaint. Tingler v. Marshall, 716 F.2d 1109, 1111-12 (6th Cir.1983). A dismissal,
    however, is warranted “pursuant to Rule 12(b)(1) of the Federal Rules of Civil
    Procedure when the allegations of a complaint are totally implausible, attenuated,
    unsubstantial, frivolous, devoid of merit, or no longer open to discussion.” Apple v.
    Glenn, 183 F.3d 477, 479 (6th Cir.1999); see also Dekoven v. Bell, 142 F.Supp.2d 748,
    755 (E.D.Mich. 2001). A complaint may be dismissed as frivolous “where it lacks an
    arguable basis either in law or in fact” and includes allegations that are “clearly
    baseless”, “fantastic”, or “delusional.” Neitzke v. Williams, 490 U.S. 319, 325 (1989);
    see also, Denton v. Hernandez, 504 U.S. 25, 32 (1992).

    Because Plaintiff’s allegations are baseless, fantastic and delusional, the Court
    dismisses his Complaint.

    IT IS SO ORDERED.
    S/Victoria A. Roberts
    Victoria A. Roberts
    Dated: 8/8/07 United States District Judge

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  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    United States Penitentiary Coleman Florida?

    Is that the one he's in? Where he wants his 63 double billion dollars delivered?

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    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2007
    OfficiousG wrote: »
    Jonathan Lee., Riches(c) A.K.A. "Secured Party" v. Jewish Mossad et al

    "Larry King Live is a voodoo witch doctor who stole my Identity on Feb 25th 2003 and purchased lead paint, chips ahoy, Planters peanuts and zip lock bags under my Identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my DNA"

    Somehow calling himself "secured party" is what makes it hilarious to me.

    Haha man that is so sigged.

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    the hague?

    the hague isn't even a damn prison

    it's a fucking city

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • RankenphileRankenphile Keep the change you filthy animalRegistered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited August 2007
    this dude definitely definitely suffers from a pretty severe schizophrenia

    I had a dude that used to come into my work to copy page after page of insane free-association ramblings he tried to pass off as a novel

    the shit was incredible, and pretty similar to the sort of shit we're seeing Mr Riches pull off here

  • M.D.M.D. and then what happens? Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Man, did he at least sue himself?

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  • tuggatugga how neat is that thats pretty neatRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Soviet Gulag Archipelago

    how can you sue a land formation?

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  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    oh my Sweet God I just read the handwritten complaint

    The dude has copywritten his name.

    "Advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice."
    "Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process."
    Imagine all of my posts being spoken by Alec Baldwin
    GamerTag: MunkusBeaver ||||| Steam: munkus
  • Ninja BotNinja Bot Registered User
    edited August 2007
    That damn Battan death march, always in cahoots with Cook County Jail to make people eat rats and do microwave testing.

  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh sweet God the second PDF

    Oh God

    "Advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice."
    "Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process."
    Imagine all of my posts being spoken by Alec Baldwin
    GamerTag: MunkusBeaver ||||| Steam: munkus
  • KelbaenorKelbaenor Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Defendant
    AREA 69: ALIEN & UFO RESEARCH CENTER

    PSN: Kelbaenor
  • tuggatugga how neat is that thats pretty neatRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    so who has tried to put goatse or lensman in simpsonsize me?

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  • Anjin-SanAnjin-San That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
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