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Terribly Sad Stories

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Posts

  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Graves wrote: »
    Guys I am fucking starving but I can't eat because it hurts and I don't like this it's some kind of cruel mind game.

    I can eat and be in pain or I can starve and not be in pain.

    3 weeks

    that is how long a healthy human can survive without food

    you'll be fine you gigantic pussy

    easysig2.jpg
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I haven't eaten in hours :(

    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    And my house is filled with all kinds of awesome foods

    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    make a milkshake

    surely you can sip and sup from a straw

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    sir

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • FreddyDFreddyD Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    dudeokay wrote: »
    make a milkshake

    surely you can sip and sup from a straw
    But that might bring boys to the yard.

  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    oh shi-

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Yeah but it's fuckin 4:15am and I need to get up at 7 to go to football but I'm gonna use this hospital bracelet as an excuse because holy fuck I can't sleep and I need to go back cuz my heel may be fractured weeeee run on sentences iiiiin west philadelphia born to be wiiiiild thing you make my heart shaped box for weeks.

    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Graves wrote: »
    I haven't eaten in hours :(

    I went 2 months without ingesting anything.

    Then a month of only drinking fluids, another month of this grainy gritty porridge type shit...

    and finally... a glorious cracker.


    best cracker I ever ate.


    I promptly threw up, but damn if it wasn't awesome.

    easysig2.jpg
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    raghahahghahglahgahgks;dsla

    that's what i took away from that post

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    See but you are Stale.

    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    we are but mere mortals

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Guys I think the smartest thing for me to do right now would be to beat off and read The Punisher til I fall asleep.

    Or beat off to The Punisher til I fall asleep.

    Or beat The Punisher off to sleep.

    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Graves wrote: »
    Guys I am fucking starving but I can't eat because it hurts and I don't like this it's some kind of cruel mind game.

    I can eat and be in pain or I can starve and not be in pain.

    i have a sore inside my lip

    every time i move my mouth, try to eat or drink something it stings like hell

    but fortunetly for me i can numb my pain by using mouth wash

    sucks2bu

    16kakxt.jpg
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    herpes

    sucks2bu

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • FreddyDFreddyD Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    dudeokay wrote: »
    herpes

    sucks2bu
    Herpes... The burn that keeps on burning.

  • Wombat!!Wombat!! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I woke up early one day, went to make a sandwich and looked up out of the window overlooking the walkway to our shed. My cat was lying there with her guts hanging out, with bloody raccoon prints chasing her prints all over our garage and portch.

    I just looked at her and said, "Well...shit."

    I then camped outside the next 3 days to try and cap those goddamn things.

  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited August 2007
    dudeokay wrote: »
    herpes

    sucks2bu

    cankersore not coldsore fag

    16kakxt.jpg
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    on the internet everything is herpes

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • walnutmonwalnutmon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I am trying to play Madden, but my xBox keeps freezing... bioshock will be out soon, but my xBox keeps crashing... I want to play the Wii... but the games are all boring, and compared to bioshock they look like they were made in the 80's... I want to upgrade my computer, but it is expensive, and I am looking to move out to Redmond to work for Microsoft because they are the only fuckers who called me back after a deluge of applications...

    My girl hasn't left me, but she should.

    xbox: jmbizzo | ps3: walnutmon | steam: walnutmon | SC2: walnutmon.591
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    cut urself pls

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • walnutmonwalnutmon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I keep pressing F5 to see if anyone cares...

    They don't.

    xbox: jmbizzo | ps3: walnutmon | steam: walnutmon | SC2: walnutmon.591
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    walnutmon wrote: »
    I keep pressing F5 to see if anyone cares...

    They don't.

    you're very correct in this

    easysig2.jpg
  • FreddyDFreddyD Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    walnutmon wrote: »
    I am trying to play Madden, but my xBox keeps freezing... bioshock will be out soon, but my xBox keeps crashing... I want to play the Wii... but the games are all boring, and compared to bioshock they look like they were made in the 80's... I want to upgrade my computer, but it is expensive, and I am looking to move out to Redmond to work for Microsoft because they are the only fuckers who called me back after a deluge of applications...

    My girl hasn't left me, but she should.
    This story is really fucking sad.

  • walnutmonwalnutmon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    it's all class at 4:30 on a sunday night.

    xbox: jmbizzo | ps3: walnutmon | steam: walnutmon | SC2: walnutmon.591
  • Wombat!!Wombat!! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Why do some people freak out over really minute stuff? Like, preps and things. I heard one person say they were going to go and get wasted because they heard that their girlfriend was hanging out with their best friend, not knowing if anything was even HAPPENING!

    Like, I learned that the girl I liked for the past 2 years started going out with someone by them showing up to my work, where I have to make contact with ALL of the customers, but I didn't freak out. Am I just an emotionless shell, or am I just more mellow than alot of people?

  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    classy.PNG

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • walnutmonwalnutmon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Today is the aftermath of what I will call “The Great October Storm”, where we received over a foot of snow in one evening. This was not any ordinary snowfall. It was a sticky sheet of iron that came from the sky to destroy our technological ways. Trees and power lines litter the once peaceful streets of Amherst and Tonawanda. Despite the truly amazing amount of damage, the restoration of our moderate autumn temperatures will shortly destroy all evidence of what ripped through our city, leaving only chaos in its wake.

    There really was no way to see this coming. September was not a particularly nice month, but it was not very cold. October actually started out fairly nice. Only one weekend ago we were enjoying sunny 70 degree days. That is how things go in Buffalo. Snowstorms and power outages keep us on our toes, they are our natural disasters. You know something terrible has happened when a handful of old people freeze to death in the suburbs. So it goes.

    It was only 50 degrees in their house, not exactly the kind of environment that claimed Hitler’s massive armies as they approached Moscow. However, when you are accustomed to hot baths and TV dinners followed by hours of “Let’s Make a Deal” you are probably less hardy than the trained killing machines fighting on behalf of our old German buddies.

    Who are the casualties of the war between the electric companies and the diabolical lake effect snowfall? Entrenched in the front lines of my bedroom, living in a five and one half gallon aquarium, five small blue hermit crabs and two larger red ones have had their lives claimed. Also, six Astrea snails have become a still part of their unseasonably cold surroundings. These aquatic heroes were accustomed to tropical temperatures and the balmy 58 degree water in my room was apparently not to their satisfaction. They sat in the white gravel their staring out the glass into my teary eyes. Their eye tubes twitched and their feelers hung limp. They were telling me something.

    They were asking me how I could bring them into my home, provide them with food, light and heat, and then without warning, pull their support systems from under them like it was the tablecloth of vitality to their place-setting of life.

    William Wallace was the name of the hermit crab ringleader. He told me that all he wanted was the freedom to roam the vast seas. He told me that the hermit crabs would have preferred a fitting death in the ocean amongst their invertebrate friends. Instead the brave hermit crabs were to die a slow pathetic death of decreasing temperatures and increasing salinity. They knew it was my fault, they could see it in my eyes. I couldn’t save them. I could only sit their and watch them as they begged me for warmth. William didn’t beg though, it was not in his nature. He peered with his eye tubes directly into my soul and sent me the message that I will never forget.

    “FREEDOM!”

    The room reverberated with his strength, it had exploded out of him like a bomb. My body shaken with sadness and grief. I wept and wept. My strength was nothing compared to his. In this difficult time he stood as powerful as ever, and in his presence my infirmity was as apparent as the old and bereaved as they cling apologetically to the past.

    I looked to him... I spoke to him.

    I told him that his words had changed me-they had. I told him that I failed him and his hermit followers. I told him that I wasn’t going to be able to restore the heat they desperately needed. William stood stoical atop the rock and with unnerving calm relayed the sad declaration to his withering disciples… Moments later, he fell and lay motionless on his head. William Wallace had his freedom.

    xbox: jmbizzo | ps3: walnutmon | steam: walnutmon | SC2: walnutmon.591
  • FreddyDFreddyD Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Wombat!! wrote: »
    Why do some people freak out over really minute stuff? Like, preps and things. I heard one person say they were going to go and get wasted because they heard that their girlfriend was hanging out with their best friend, not knowing if anything was even HAPPENING!
    Those people are just pathetic and insecure. But if your gf and your bff go out together on a regular basis without even inviting you that should raise all kinds of red flags.

  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    that was way sadder than your first story

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel Deus Vult! OsloRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    walnutmon wrote: »
    I am trying to play Madden, but my xBox keeps freezing... bioshock will be out soon, but my xBox keeps crashing... I want to play the Wii... but the games are all boring, and compared to bioshock they look like they were made in the 80's... I want to upgrade my computer, but it is expensive, and I am looking to move out to Redmond to work for Microsoft because they are the only fuckers who called me back after a deluge of applications...

    My girl hasn't left me, but she should.

    cutwa9.png

    Fuck off and die.
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Walnut

    You pussy.

    Illustration Portfolio: cajsimpson.com
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    the matter of cutting has been handled

    you may rest easy

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    abloo bloo bloo

    my butt is stinky but i dont have any soap

    abloo bloo

    Illustration Portfolio: cajsimpson.com
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    edited August 2007
    walnutmon wrote: »
    My girl hasn't left me, but she should.
    this is a good part

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • Wombat!!Wombat!! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    dudeokay wrote: »
    walnutmon wrote: »
    My girl hasn't left me, but she should.
    this is a good part

    Dear diary,

    Mood: apethetic. My life is spiraling downwards etc etc etc.

  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Filler wrote: »
    I just told my aunt.

    I basically read off what I wrote here.

    Saying the 'Im worthless bit' comes off very contrived and over the top when saying it outloud.

    Shes going to come with me when I tell my dad.

    I love her.

    But this is still going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

    Haha, I left everyone I knew, everyone in my family for a girl, moved across country for her, and now, I'm totally alone. I should really move back to the state my entire extended family lives in. (Oregon)

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The saddest story I have is how I was supposed to be deployed to Guam during the winter of '05-'06, but got reassigned to Fallujah company three days before my Guam shipdate.

    chillaxton.jpg
    and I broke parole just to get to you
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Bendery is all T_T in this thread.

  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Bendery is all 8====D ^.^

    in this thread.

    Illustration Portfolio: cajsimpson.com
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