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Terribly Sad Stories

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Posts

  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited August 2007
    how does a turtle run away

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  • NeliNeli Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    My turtle died of pneumonia

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    Spoiler:
  • Wombat!!Wombat!! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Well, we got a kiddy pool and filled it with rocks and water and stuff, and SOMEHOW a large rock was placed by the edge where the chicken wire covering the top was SOMEHOW pulled back, therefor allowing Scooter to escape.

    Our friends turtle Speedy didnt get out though, too small.

  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    wombat wrote: »
    Okay, let me try to explain Urian, and he does have a point here. While its all nice and good to say what we won't ever do, without being confronted by the issue its all kinda moot when you think about it. I mean, I can go and say that I'm never going to do something, but really, are you a fucking soothsayer? Can you tell the future? No, you can't, so lets stop dealing with concretes. Before we go ripping wombat a new one just because he said that he sometimes feels like hitting his girl, lets think about this for a minute. I might feel like stealing this CD from my cousin's car, or maybe I feel like fucking my friend's fiancee. Doesn't mean I will, because I classify these things as dishonorable. But maybe in three weeks I get struck by lightning and turn into an asshole. Who the fuck knows.

    What then? Words are fucking wind.

    I have felt like hitting a woman before. I can openly admit that. In my defense, I didn't actually hit her, despite her being dumb as fuck and insulting my sister which, had she been male, would have resulted in me breaking her fucking legs with a baseball bat.

    wait what I didn't say that shit

    That's not to say that you'll NEVER say it.

    Like maybe on a day where your girlfriend is talking too much.

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  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Fizban wrote: »
    wombat wrote: »
    Okay, let me try to explain Urian, and he does have a point here. While its all nice and good to say what we won't ever do, without being confronted by the issue its all kinda moot when you think about it. I mean, I can go and say that I'm never going to do something, but really, are you a fucking soothsayer? Can you tell the future? No, you can't, so lets stop dealing with concretes. Before we go ripping wombat a new one just because he said that he sometimes feels like hitting his girl, lets think about this for a minute. I might feel like stealing this CD from my cousin's car, or maybe I feel like fucking my friend's fiancee. Doesn't mean I will, because I classify these things as dishonorable. But maybe in three weeks I get struck by lightning and turn into an asshole. Who the fuck knows.

    What then? Words are fucking wind.

    I have felt like hitting a woman before. I can openly admit that. In my defense, I didn't actually hit her, despite her being dumb as fuck and insulting my sister which, had she been male, would have resulted in me breaking her fucking legs with a baseball bat.

    wait what I didn't say that shit

    That's not to say that you'll NEVER say it.

    Like maybe on a day where your girlfriend is talking too much.

    Or she'll get her period despite your warnings.

  • ZebesianPirateZebesianPirate Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Filler wrote: »
    Fizban wrote: »
    wombat wrote: »
    Okay, let me try to explain Urian, and he does have a point here. While its all nice and good to say what we won't ever do, without being confronted by the issue its all kinda moot when you think about it. I mean, I can go and say that I'm never going to do something, but really, are you a fucking soothsayer? Can you tell the future? No, you can't, so lets stop dealing with concretes. Before we go ripping wombat a new one just because he said that he sometimes feels like hitting his girl, lets think about this for a minute. I might feel like stealing this CD from my cousin's car, or maybe I feel like fucking my friend's fiancee. Doesn't mean I will, because I classify these things as dishonorable. But maybe in three weeks I get struck by lightning and turn into an asshole. Who the fuck knows.

    What then? Words are fucking wind.

    I have felt like hitting a woman before. I can openly admit that. In my defense, I didn't actually hit her, despite her being dumb as fuck and insulting my sister which, had she been male, would have resulted in me breaking her fucking legs with a baseball bat.

    wait what I didn't say that shit

    That's not to say that you'll NEVER say it.

    Like maybe on a day where your girlfriend is talking too much.

    Or she'll get her period despite your warnings.

    Hahahahaha.

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  • cherv1cherv1 Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Man I watched Iron Giant yesterday and I didn't cry what is wrong with me :(

  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hey wombat I am totally sorry for typing your name instead of walnut.


    I was a tad drunk at the time.

    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    Keith wrote:
    What would be your ultimate slam dunk??
    I would dunk it so hard my parents would love each other again
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Wombat!! wrote: »
    I woke up early one day, went to make a sandwich and looked up out of the window overlooking the walkway to our shed. My cat was lying there with her guts hanging out, with bloody raccoon prints chasing her prints all over our garage and portch.

    I just looked at her and said, "Well...shit."

    I then camped outside the next 3 days to try and cap those goddamn things.

    My cat loves the outdoors, but is unarmed. Unfortunately my parents declawed her when she was a kitten. But fuck, can she punch hard. She regularly whipped my dog into shape when he was a puppy, and only struggles now because there is now another puppy to fend off.

    I always get scared and grab my bat when I hear her outside though, thinking she's in trouble. She's a sweet cat and I've had her for about 9 years, and if I see something attacking her be it some dipshit kid with a lighter or a raccoon I will probably want its head caved in. She's always fine, luckily.

    I'm also protective of my dog, though I would imagine he doesn't need it usually, being a well-built Australian Shepherd. The one time though, my little cousin, around 10 or 11, is slapping him in the face and he's just looking at her with this hurt, angry expression in his eyes. I walk up to her and I'm like "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" and grab her wrist. I've gotten in shit for dealing with her before because she is a spoiled little monster by her aunt, and I loathe the both of them. "I'm hitting him so he bites me so that he gets put down." I twisted a little.

    I am surprised I did not punch her in the head.

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  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited August 2007
    wow your cousin is a dick

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  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    That is pretty much why I hate her.

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  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited August 2007
    you should fuck her up

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  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Man, I think the worst part is how she manages to push my buttons so hard unlike anyone else, and not only is she only like 12 now, but she's a girl. Were I to do anything about the shit she does, I would get in so much shit from everyone, not just my aunt.

    My uncle at least understands she's a spoiled bitch to some degree, but she's his daughter. I just wish he would straighten her out.

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  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Man, I think the worst part is how she manages to push my buttons so hard unlike anyone else, and not only is she only like 12 now, but she's a girl. Were I to do anything about the shit she does, I would get in so much shit from everyone, not just my aunt.

    My uncle at least understands she's a spoiled bitch to some degree, but she's his daughter. I just wish he would straighten her out.

    had I pulled that kind of shit, or really, had any child pulled that shit around ANY of my family, they would have had the shit beaten out of them.

    Thats a pretty serious offense. She would have had split lips and a bright red ass.

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  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2007
    Zephyr wrote: »
    you should fuck her

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  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    That's a evil child.

    She needs the devil beaten out of her.

  • ZebesianPirateZebesianPirate Registered User
    edited August 2007
    You can't beat the devil out of someone, you need to kill the host or do a proper exorcism. The former method is more reliable.

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  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Heres a sad tale;

    It's 5 in the morning, and I couldn't sleep because it's 90 degrees in my apartment.

    It's been like this for a week.

    So here I am typing this up, sweating, wearing only boxers.

    Now, heres why I'm really typing this;

    I've lived a week in this 90 degree apartment with only a fan to keep me cool, which it does a terrible job of, and tonite, I finally realize I've got a circuit breaker in my room, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, the circuit for the AC had been turned to the off position.

    Sure enough, it had.

    Had I fucking looked there earlier I could have ended this pinpoint heatwave and lived comfortably for the last week.

    My god, that was so stupid, it was sad.

  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Filler wrote: »
    Heres a sad tale;

    It's 5 in the morning, and I couldn't sleep because it's 90 degrees in my apartment.

    It's been like this for a week.

    So here I am typing this up, sweating, wearing only boxers.

    Now, heres why I'm really typing this;

    I've lived a week in this 90 degree apartment with only a fan to keep me cool, which it does a terrible job of, and tonite, I finally realize I've got a circuit breaker in my room, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, the circuit for the AC had been turned to the off position.

    Sure enough, it had.

    Had I fucking looked there earlier I could have ended this pinpoint heatwave and lived comfortably for the last week.

    My god, that was so stupid, it was sad.

    son... I think you may have a case of the retardation

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  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Stale wrote: »
    Filler wrote: »
    Heres a sad tale;

    It's 5 in the morning, and I couldn't sleep because it's 90 degrees in my apartment.

    It's been like this for a week.

    So here I am typing this up, sweating, wearing only boxers.

    Now, heres why I'm really typing this;

    I've lived a week in this 90 degree apartment with only a fan to keep me cool, which it does a terrible job of, and tonite, I finally realize I've got a circuit breaker in my room, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, the circuit for the AC had been turned to the off position.

    Sure enough, it had.

    Had I fucking looked there earlier I could have ended this pinpoint heatwave and lived comfortably for the last week.

    My god, that was so stupid, it was sad.

    son... I think you may have a case of the retardation

    It's probably full blown by now.

    I've been wandering around my aparment holding my hand to every vent laughing like a goddamn fool, and it's 5 in the morning.

    This made me way too happy.

  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    You know the scene in dogma where ben affleck got his wings blown off, and he starts to laugh at first, but then starts to cry?

    Yeah, I just did that while giving one of my vents a prolonged high five.

    I think I'm gonna go to bed again.

  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    go jack off. It will put you right to sleep.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    That is almost as bad as the time I bought a car and thought the regular headlights didn't work because I accidentally clicked on the highbeams before I turned them on.

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    and I broke parole just to get to you
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    That usually keeps me awake for longer.

    I have to search around the intarnetz for something good to jack off to, and that can take an hour or more.

  • KING LITERATEKING LITERATE Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Stale wrote: »
    Man, I think the worst part is how she manages to push my buttons so hard unlike anyone else, and not only is she only like 12 now, but she's a girl. Were I to do anything about the shit she does, I would get in so much shit from everyone, not just my aunt.

    My uncle at least understands she's a spoiled bitch to some degree, but she's his daughter. I just wish he would straighten her out.

    had I pulled that kind of shit, or really, had any child pulled that shit around ANY of my family, they would have had the shit beaten out of them.

    Thats a pretty serious offense. She would have had split lips and a bright red ass.


    Quoted for truth.

    Diamond FC: 3867 1354 8291
    TWITTER TWATS
  • WrenWren Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    a good rape is what she needs

    thats how they dealt with insubordinate little girls back in my day

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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • WeeSneakWeeSneak Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Wren wrote: »
    a good rape is what she needs

    thats how they dealt with insubordinate little girls back in my day

    Scissor me timbers

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