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[Phalla] Through The Greatwood - Finale: A Hero's Return (Good Guys Win!)

LocusLocus Trust MeAlbanyRegistered User regular
edited September 2007 in Critical Failures
Opening Narration, Part I:
It was approximately three hours after sunrise when the first scout returned and reported that the army of the World’s Edge was in sight. Sir Furic smiled and turned to his second-in-command, Sir Hylian.

“They come at us with the bulk of their forces,” he said. “Today will be the day we crush them, once and for all. Today will be remembered as the day that the Gray Wolf won this war, and claimed the entire north as their own.”

Sir Hylian could do nothing but smile and nod. He had seen the tactical prowess of Sir Furic countless times before. He always seemed to know what he was doing, and he always seemed to come out the victor. And, unlike those other knights who commanded from afar, Sir Furic was not afraid to get close to the battle, for his combat skills were just as good, if not better than, his tactical skills. What Sir Furic was counting on in this particular battle was a new shipment of arms, recently delivered from the House of the Eternal Flame. He had commissioned the best weapons from the best weaponsmith, hoping that with new arms he would have an ultimate advantage against the World’s Edge.

Since the sky was cover from end to end in clouds, both armies had begun their march through the Greatwood at what they believed to be dawn. Even when they were several kilometers away, both sides could hear the crunching of snow beneath the feet of their enemy. For several hours the armies marched through the dense forest, moving slow and methodically, with the commanders trying to avoid dividing their armies or walking into an unexpected trap. After several hours of marching, Sir Hylian heard a voice. “The enemy! I see the enemy!” it said.

Sir Hylian immediately turned to Sir Furic and said, “The enemy has spotted us. They must be close. One of our soldiers will undoubtedly engage before we give the order. They can smell the victory already.”

“Then let them engage,” Sir Furic replied. “Fortune favors the bold.” Sure enough, a moment later Sir Hylian spotted several soldiers break rank, and with a shout they began to run towards. The rest of the Gray Wolf soldiers quickly realized what was happening, and they moved as one towards the enemy, Sir Hylian and Sir Furic leading the way. The World’s Edge prepared for the rush, their shields and swords at the ready, until the Gray Wolf fell upon them in a great wave. A ferocious battle ensued, and neither side gave an inch; the Gray Wolf fought for glory, the World’s Edge fought for the survival of their House.

Amidst the din of battle a shattering sound echoed through the forest. It was quickly followed by several more occurrences of the same sound. So strange was this sound to the soldiers that each one stopped and looked to see what had made the peculiar noise. The sight of two opposing armies facing each other, gazing about in confusion was surely a sight to behold. Then, from the army of the World’s Edge came a cry. “It is their armaments!” it said excitedly. “They are crumbling under our blows!”

Sir Hylian’s eyes widened. “This is treachery!” he cried. “We are betrayed!” The order did not even have to be given. Every single soldier from the Gray Wolf dropped his weapon at once, and it filled the forest with the sound of shattering metal, as if a thousand panes of glass had broken at the same time. Then, for the first time since Sir Furic took command of the army, they turned and fled from their enemy.

“Hunt them down!” growled a knight from within the ranks of the World’s Edge. “Don’t let a single cub escape! I want you to bring me the lifeless body of that dog, Furic! Kill them! Slaughter them! MASSACRE THEM!” A great roar came up from the army of the World’s Edge, and the entirety of the Greatwood shook. The men of the Gray Wolf could feel it in their bones, the bloodlust of their enemy. Their many years of victory would now be revenged in one day.

The Gray Wolf soldiers did not even bother to turn around as the World’s Edge thundered towards them, swords drawn, a war cry coming from the mouth of each and every one of them. The Gray Wolf could not move fast enough, hampered as they were by the snow and the many trees, and within moments the World’s Edge had descended upon them. The Gray Wolf soldiers died not one at a time, but by tens and by twenties. The World’s Edge was relentless, and they killed indiscriminately. Veterans and novices, old and young, knights and foot soldiers, all fell under the blades of the World’s Edge. Sir Hylian, his sword one of the few that had not been destroyed, tried his best to help his comrades escape. But as skilled as he was with his sword, he could only fight so many people at once, and eventually he too had to flee for his life, lest he be overrun like all the others.

The killing did not end until the sun finally broke through the blanket of grey clouds, just before it set beyond the horizon. The snow that had just fallen pure white the night before was now stained a dark crimson. Splatters of blood could be found on almost every object in the forest. It became nearly impossible to walk without stepping on some former body part of a Gray Wolf soldier. Sir Hylian wished to go back, to see if anyone had survived, but he knew he could not. He had to press onwards, and return to the Frostlands to let everyone know what had happened. He feared this was a blow from which the House of the Gray Wolf would not recover.
Opening Narration, Part II
Night One Narration. Narration Addendum.
Night Two Narration.
Night Three Narration
Night Four Narration
Night Five Narration
Night Six Narration
Night Seven Narration
Final Narration

Player list:

1. Jester313 - Disloyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Poisoned
2. DËTHKÖK - Disloyal Actor from the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
3. MrBallbaggins - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Throat Slit
4. Hakkekage - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Overdosed and stabbed
5. visiblehowl - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
6. DevoutlyApathetic - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Throat slit
7. precisionk - Loyal Soldier of the World's Edge - Overdosed
8. Niceguy Myeye - Devout Convert of the Transcendent Truth - Furic'd
9. Frosteey - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Overdosed
10. PsychoCucumber - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
11. iamtheaznman - Loyal Mercenary of the Iron Gate - Furic'd
12. Bliss 101 - Devout Convert of the Transcendent Truth - TehSpectre'd
13. Fembot - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Beheaded
14. Zot - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
15. Ardor - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Poisoned
16. Grundlterror - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Overdosed
17. Telcus - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Stabbed
18. Nion - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
19. Elendil - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Throat slit
20. thorpe - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
21. DamnedLibrarian - Devout Convert of the Transcendent Truth - Stabbed
22. Gorilla Salad - Loyal Knight of the Lightning Warrior - Furic'd
23. TehSpectre - Loyal Ranger of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
24. FreeAgent - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
25. Typhus733 - Furic's Confidant and Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Stabbed
26. Balefuego - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd (inactivity)
27. Anaximander - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
28. Xevo - Reformed Thief from the Gray Wolf - Dagger'd
29. zal - Loyal Citizen of the World's Edge - Furic'd
30. Squashua - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Stabbed?
31. B:L - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
32. robothero - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
33. durax - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
34. cheez - Loyal Mercenary from the Iron Gate - Overdosed
35. Oatway - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Frozen (inactivity)
36. TrueNeverborn - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - TehSpectre'd
37. Variable - Loyal Mercenary of the Iron Gate - Frozen (inactivity)
38. Zerinan - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Furic'd
39. Raakam - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Stabbed
40. Plutonium - Loyal Soldier of the Gray Wolf - Throat slit

Locus on
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Posts

  • LocusLocus Trust Me AlbanyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The Rules
    All standard phalla rules apply.

    You may share your villager PM, but if you are a special of any kind you may not share that PM with anyone.

    All roles were selected randomly. Other than role selection, there will be no randomness in this game. Everything happens for a reason.

    Voting closes at 11 PM EDT (10 Central, 9 Mountain, 8 Pacific) every day. Any votes made at 11 PM or afterwards will count towards the next day. All actions made via PM must also be sent in by 11 PM.

    Every night you will vote to execute one player. Please make your vote in the following format: I !vote for HylianBunny.

    Every night you will vote for one person to become an investigator. That person will have the right to launch an investigation and ask a question of the GM (that would be me) immediately following his or her election. The question will be asked to me via PM, and my response will be via PM. Please make your vote for investigator in the following format: I !vote for HylianBunny.

    Rules for the investigation, copied and pasted from PsychoLarry’s phalla:
    This is a limited information game. You do not know the abilities of the roles, and there are a number of hidden mechanics. Following the narration every night the investigator will launch an investigation. This question may be about any of the roles or any of the game mechanics and will be answered in full. Don’t try anything dumb or try to break the game with these, use them to gain useful information. Here are some examples of bad questions:
    -“Who is the player with the Seer role?”
    -“Is Ardor telling the truth about his role?”
    -“What is love?”
    Here are some examples of good questions:
    -“What abilities does Spider-Man have?”
    -“What happens when the Justice League is created?”
    -“Will you touch me there Psycho?”

    Please retract all votes for execution in lime. Please retract all votes for investigator in yellow.

    All actions taken on any given night will be revealed in the narration if and only if those actions had an effect on the outcome. Suppose, for example, there was a role that said “Do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself around. Since the hokey-pokey is what it’s all about, you get five extra votes.” If the person does the hokey-pokey and his votes do not affect the vote outcome for that night, there will be nothing in the narration. If they do affect the kill, something will show up in the narration though there will not be any clues as to who did the hokey-pokey.

    If an action would affect the list of dead people at the end of a narration, that action will be in the narration. If an action would affect another action that does not involve death, it will not be in the narration.


    Upon the death of a player, you will learn their alignment (good guy or bad guy) and you will learn how they died. For example, if HylianBunny was voted out by the village and thus executed by Furic, the line would read: HylianBunny – Loyal Soldier of the House of the Gray Wolf – Furic’d. If some guy hokey-pokey’d him to death and he was a bad guy, it might read something like: HylianBunny – Loyal Soldier of the House of the World’s Edge – hokey-pokey’d.

    The dead may have no contact with the living. There will be a dead thread. I will make it.

    Anonymous contact is forbidden.

    If you are inactive you will be removed from the game. To remain in the game you must make at least two posts per day, and you must vote for the execution and/or the investigator every day. You will receive a warning before being removed from the game.

    You may ask for rules clarifications by posting in orange.

    If you are a special, your PM will make it very clear. If you have to ask if you are a special, you probably aren't.

    If your role does not explicity state which House you serve, you serve the House of the Gray Wolf.

    Posting this from your role PM is okay:
    You are…
    A rat catcher! It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it. It’s a fact of life. If you have a city, you have rats in that city. Most people don’t like rats, so somebody has got to take it upon him- or herself to get rid of the rats. That somebody happens to be you. You weren’t very good at your job. Most of the time you didn’t even bother catching the rats. You just carried a bag of dead rats around with you and claimed that these were the rats the client was looking for. They always seemed to fall for it. Still, you felt bad every now and then for taking money from honest folk. Going to war seemed like a decent alternative. Catching a soldier isn’t really that different from catching a rat. The same tactics work. You just carry a severed head around with you, and when anyone asks if you’ve seen battle recently, you just whip that bad boy out and show them what’s what.
    You may not post anything else.

    Locus on
  • LocusLocus Trust Me AlbanyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    All PMs are going out now. I have to send out 40 of them, so this may take a while.

    Locus on
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh boy :D

    I was starting to go through Phalla withdrawal for a while, there

    Green on
    IsaacSig.png
    3DS: 3007 8087 2767 | Nintendo ID: AngryFrog
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Any of you fine soldier's hungry?
    Catcher of Rat's, that's my job.
    Take a rat on a stick if you want one, it's free of charge.
    Oy, it's so cold outside!
    Rather be back home then here.

    P10 on
    It will seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first.
  • HakkekageHakkekage Space Whore Academy summa cum laudeRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hullo my fine gentlemen and wenches

    How goes ye this fine, war-torn day

    Hakkekage on
    3DS: 2165 - 6538 - 3417
    NNID: Hakkekage
  • MrBallbagginsMrBallbaggins Registered User
    edited August 2007
    I grudge vote Dethkok.

    So how's it going, everyone?

    MrBallbaggins on
    Preacher wrote: »
    Something tells me this story ends up with Ballbaggins fucking his house again.
  • HakkekageHakkekage Space Whore Academy summa cum laudeRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I fear I am afflicted by ye olde Phallitis. The doctors are grim and have prescribed me a tonic of eel's bile which I find undesirable. I think I might just head over to the local watering hole and self-treat with some of ye olde mead instead.

    Hakkekage on
    3DS: 2165 - 6538 - 3417
    NNID: Hakkekage
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I grudge vote Dethkok.

    So how's it going, everyone?

    Just doing my job
    Didn't choose that path, pal
    Don't be hatin'

    P10 on
    It will seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first.
  • FrosteeyFrosteey Elaise 1521-2945-8940Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    How exciting...

    Frosteey on
    frosteey.gif
  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I grudge vote Dethkok.

    So how's it going, everyone?

    Just doing my job
    Didn't choose that path, pal
    Don't be hatin'

    They hate us because we're winners

    Balefuego on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Balefuego can't be playing, he has to write role PM's for our phalla!

    Plutonium on
  • MrBallbagginsMrBallbaggins Registered User
    edited August 2007
    I grudge vote Dethkok.

    So how's it going, everyone?

    Just doing my job
    Didn't choose that path, pal
    Don't be hatin'

    You just might be able to redeem yourself by voting Ballbaggins.

    MrBallbaggins on
    Preacher wrote: »
    Something tells me this story ends up with Ballbaggins fucking his house again.
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Also, Plutonium will make the best investigator. I know how to sniff out the bad guys

    Plutonium on
  • ArdorArdor Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Well, wanted to stay up to get my role pm so now I'm gonna go to bed.

    For attempting to destroy her in the last phalla, I can at least show some goodwill here and Vote Hakkekage!

    Ardor on
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Balefuego wrote: »
    They hate us because we're winners
    I thought I heard Bale
    But he isn't playing
    It is just the wind

    P10 on
    It will seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first.
  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Vote for Zot,

    as well as !placeholder vote Ballbaggins

    Cold Salmon and Hatred on
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Not as bad as Trump Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I vote DevoutlyApathetic.

    We need a leader with firmly held views of nothing in particular. Also I want power, glorious power.

    Seriously I havn't taken up a leadership position in ages and I think it'd be fun and I'm occasionally clever (in between bouts of incredibly hilarious wrongness.) Vote DA for a better tomorrow!

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat.

    PSN: QuipFilter
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The path is clear - Ardor
    A man of logic and reason
    I do trust him

    P10 on
    It will seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first.
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I vote DevoutlyApathetic.

    We need a leader with firmly held views of nothing in particular. Also I want power, glorious power.

    Seriously I taken up a leadership position in ages and I think it'd be fun and I'm occasionally clever (in between bouts of incredibly hilarious wrongness.) Vote DA for a better tomorrow!

    That's what their doing in the other Phalla apparently.

    Anyways. I don't even have my role PM yet.

    Plutonium on
  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    I have too much free time on my hands and am pretty good at analyzing people.
    That's why I think you should elect me to the post of investigator.

    Of course, everyone will think I'm evil and ultimately kill me first day, so there's really no point.

    Cold Salmon and Hatred on
  • telcustelcus Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Anyone need their pig fucked? According to my Role PM I am quite the expert in such matters. As I am obviously so skilled at rooting, I must therefore be equally good at 'rooting out the truth'. Therefore I would be an excellent choice for investigator.

    !vote for telcus the pig fucker.

    This message was paid for by the Pig Fuckers Union. Pig fucking our way to a brighter future.

    telcus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Not as bad as Trump Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Plutonium wrote: »
    That's what their doing in the other Phalla apparently.

    Anyways. I don't even have my role PM yet.
    It's what I get for doing my job instead of immediately logging on to see how things were going in my online crack den.

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat.

    PSN: QuipFilter
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    precisionk wrote:
    Man, the Phalla regulars are like a coked up knitting circle of evil transvestites.

    It's so true

    Plutonium on
  • XevoXevo Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    As a mere trapper from the Frostlands, I'm looking for an upstanding person to act as investigator, so I will !vote Ardor to represent us in finding the truth!

    Xevo on
  • TehSpectreTehSpectre @PixelateJake on TwitterRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I am gonna vote for my buddy, DevoutlyApathetic.

    Why not.

    TehSpectre on
    Spec_Banner.png
  • telcustelcus Registered User
    edited August 2007
    I don't think that DA or Ardor has the right policies to meet my pig loving needs. Unless I can find a candidate that I can 'get behind', my vote, as well as the votes of the PFU (Pig Fuckers Union), stays on myself.

    telcus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LocusLocus Trust Me AlbanyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    All role PMs have now been sent out. If you did not get one, then something is terribly wrong and you should inform me immediately. Now I will write out the second part of the opening narration so you know why you are voting to kill people and why you are voting for an investigator.

    Locus on
  • telcustelcus Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Locus wrote: »
    All role PMs have now been sent out. If you did not get one, then something is terribly wrong and you should inform me immediately. Now I will write out the second part of the opening narration so you know why you are voting to kill people and why you are voting for an investigator.

    I hope it has nothing to do with swine fornication.

    telcus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • HakkekageHakkekage Space Whore Academy summa cum laudeRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Ardor wrote: »
    Well, wanted to stay up to get my role pm so now I'm gonna go to bed.

    For attempting to destroy her in the last phalla, I can at least show some goodwill here and Vote Hakkekage!

    <3 <3 <3

    But I would make a botch of it. I can barely formulate a coherent sentence, so I !vote Ardor because you are all cool when you're not evil

    Here's hoping he's not evil please please oh lawd

    Hakkekage on
    3DS: 2165 - 6538 - 3417
    NNID: Hakkekage
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Not as bad as Trump Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    TehSpectre wrote: »
    I am gonna vote for my buddy, DevoutlyApathetic.

    Why not.

    Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.

    This is some kind of plan to get me killed, isn't it?

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat.

    PSN: QuipFilter
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    telcus wrote: »
    Locus wrote: »
    All role PMs have now been sent out. If you did not get one, then something is terribly wrong and you should inform me immediately. Now I will write out the second part of the opening narration so you know why you are voting to kill people and why you are voting for an investigator.

    I hope it has nothing to do with swine fornication.
    Pig fornication?
    And I thought my job sucked
    My hat off to you.

    P10 on
    It will seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first.
  • WhiteZinfandelWhiteZinfandel Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I !vote for Telcus the pig fucker. I mean, come on, he fucks pigs. As for the investigator... I hear you're a girl, Hakkekage.

    WhiteZinfandel on
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    Futore wrote: »
    fleshlights are funny. even funnier are the lifelike butts that stores sell. Fuck buying an entire doll.

    I'll just have the butt, thanks. I'm all 'bout efficiency
    Buy a doll, you're committing to having sex with just one imaginary lady.

    Just a butt? That butt could belong to anybody you'll never actually sleep with.

    Girl or well-shaven guy.

    The sky is the limit when you only have a plastic butt to fuck.
  • XevoXevo Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    God Hakke, with that avatar and all those fancy trimmings, you are simply irresistable now! What a clever ploy to stay alive in a Phalla... =P

    Xevo on
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Don't judge Telcus, man
    Once I screwed animals
    It ain't glamorous

    P10 on
    It will seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first.
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Xevo wrote: »
    God Hakke, with that avatar and all those fancy trimmings, you are simply irresistable now! What a clever ploy to stay alive in a Phalla... =P

    <3 Browncoats

    Plutonium on
  • telcustelcus Registered User
    edited August 2007
    It's a tough job, but someone has to do it. Those pigs ain't gonna fuck themselves.

    telcus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MrBallbagginsMrBallbaggins Registered User
    edited August 2007
    I think Telcus provides us a great service. I mean, pigs are delicious but lacking in spices.

    However, pig/Telcus hybrids, now that would be some damn good eatin.

    MrBallbaggins on
    Preacher wrote: »
    Something tells me this story ends up with Ballbaggins fucking his house again.
  • telcustelcus Registered User
    edited August 2007
    I think Telcus provides us a great service. I mean, pigs are delicious but lacking in spices.

    However, pig/Telcus hybrids, now that would be some damn good eatin.

    I'm the other, other white meat.

    telcus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    telcus wrote: »
    I think Telcus provides us a great service. I mean, pigs are delicious but lacking in spices.

    However, pig/Telcus hybrids, now that would be some damn good eatin.

    I'm the other, other white meat.
    Soylent Telcus - Yum
    Hardy food for a soldier
    You can taste the man

    P10 on
    It will seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first.
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Not as bad as Trump Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Soylent Telcus - Yum
    Hardy food for a soldier
    You can taste the man
    Haiku poets vote for DA.

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat.

    PSN: QuipFilter
«13456749
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