The Thread where lousy fucks can learn to cook

bent

Toast?

edit: the gap between my avatar and name is starting to irk me

bsjezz

hmm there's a bit of toast i made this morning (yesterday morning?) for bacon and eggs which got left in the toaster

maybe i could put some peanut butter on it

<3

So I cooked today.

I made some sautéed chicken breasts.

It was amazing. The best meal I've had since god knows when.

I really need to cook more.

bsjezz

i'm pretty sure i've perfected my spag bol recipe by now. it's the best in the world

Penguin Incarnate

Damn, I forgot to put the olive oil down before I started cooking my chicken.

Innuendo ahoy.

naporeon

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

neville

nap has never cooked for us. =(

satansfingers

naporeon wrote: »

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

interesting about the wine. i don't normally trust rieslings from countries other than germany, really.

naporeon

satansfingers wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

interesting about the wine. i don't normally trust rieslings from countries other than germany, really.

Alsace Rieslings are supposed to be some of the best. Especially if, like me, you enjoy extremely dry whites.

The Otaku Suppository

naporeon wrote: »

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

You served a riesling with a curry? You heathen.

naporeon

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

You served a riesling with a curry? You heathen.

You...you don't know wine pairings, do you?

Poorochondriac

I keep trying to cook, but I have given myself food poisoning so many fucking times.

Cooking meat is really, really, really hard when you are colorblind and differentiating shades is impossible.

The Far Side

rank i keep reading your sig as "The Economist wrote" and I get freaked out because that is not something that would be published in the economist you see

satansfingers

i dunno, was your curry spicy? i thought reds went with spicy food.

i'm horrible at pairings, though.

The Otaku Suppository

naporeon wrote: »

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

You served a riesling with a curry? You heathen.

You...you don't know wine pairings, do you?

No it's just for something like a chicken curry, especially a fruit flavored curry, I would have gone for a more full-bodied white like a sauvignon blanc.

naporeon

Mango curry, gentlemen. Mango.

Regardless, I'm sure if you put "wine pairing riesling curry" into Google, you'll get plenty of hits.

Alsacian Rieslings in particular, I might add.

naporeon

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

You served a riesling with a curry? You heathen.

You...you don't know wine pairings, do you?

No it's just for something like a chicken curry, especially a fruit flavored curry, I would have gone for a more full-bodied white like a sauvignon blanc.

Sauvignon Blanc is certainly a viable option. But I think that you must not be familiar with very dry Rieslings, from what you're saying.

This was a pretty textbook pairing.

I just was lucky on the selection...which really wasn't luck at all, since one of the project managers at work recommended French Rieslings for a sweet curry.

Poorochondriac

Oh, as long as there's a cooking thread.

I'm just about fucking sick of everyone telling me "You save so much money doing your own grocery shopping!"

No. No, fuck you. That's true if you want nice meals, as buying the ingredients and cooking it yourself is cheaper. It is also true if I want nothing but ramen, tuna, or mac and cheese. But for a middle ground? There is no goddamn way. Saying it as a general catch-all is just fucking wrong. I can get two hamburgers and twelve chicken nuggets at Wendy's for four dollars and twenty-six cents. There is no way that's happening at a grocery store. So I will continue to eat predominantly fast food, and nobody can stop me.

The Otaku Suppository

naporeon wrote: »

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

You served a riesling with a curry? You heathen.

You...you don't know wine pairings, do you?

No it's just for something like a chicken curry, especially a fruit flavored curry, I would have gone for a more full-bodied white like a sauvignon blanc.

Sauvignon Blanc is certainly a viable option. But I think that you must not be familiar with very dry Rieslings, from what you're saying.

This was a pretty textbook pairing.

I just was lucky on the selection...which really wasn't luck at all, since one of the project managers at work recommended French Rieslings for a sweet curry.

I've had riesling before and I'm sure it worked, but I find riesling has essences of citrus and tropical fruits, so for my tastes I would have gone with a fuller bodied white to complement such an aromatic dish, especially one that already has fruit in it. Hell you prolly could have served a gerwurtztraminer with it and it would have worked on some level. Although why anyone could like gerwurtzraminer is beyond me. Like a fucking dessert wine. At least the couple of bottles I brought back from Strasbourg. Sworn off the stuff ever since.

naporeon

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Oh man, it's funny that there's a cooking thread.

For my date last night, I prepared chicken thighs in a very light mango curry, with lightly stewed tomatoes and red bell peppers. As I brought her plate, I decided to gamble a little, and I threw some dried, unsweetened apricots on. I will definitely be including them the next time I make this. I improvised the recipe, but it is very simple, and I'd be more than happy to write it down if anyone likes to make curried chicken.

With the dinner, we had a 2000 Trimbach Cuvée Frédéric Emile Riesling, which is the best white I've ever had for under $50.

And Teefs, I had an ex that loved to make pasta noodles. Fun is definitely the right word. I would never bother doing it if I were preparing the meal alone (too much work for too little a gain in quality), but if you have a pasta press and someone to make them with, it is fun as hell.

You served a riesling with a curry? You heathen.

You...you don't know wine pairings, do you?

No it's just for something like a chicken curry, especially a fruit flavored curry, I would have gone for a more full-bodied white like a sauvignon blanc.

Sauvignon Blanc is certainly a viable option. But I think that you must not be familiar with very dry Rieslings, from what you're saying.

This was a pretty textbook pairing.

I just was lucky on the selection...which really wasn't luck at all, since one of the project managers at work recommended French Rieslings for a sweet curry.

I've had riesling before and I'm sure it worked, but I find riesling has essences of citrus and tropical fruits, so for my tastes I would have gone with a fuller bodied white to complement such an aromatic dish, especially one that already has fruit in it. Hell you prolly could have served a gerwurtztraminer with it and it would have worked on some level. Although why anyone could like gerwurtzraminer is beyond me. Like a fucking dessert wine. At least the couple of bottles I brought back from Strasbourg. Sworn off the stuff ever since.

That's what I'm saying. Your experience with Rieslings is pretty typical of most people who haven't bothered to look past the syrupy-sweet German grapes. You're making pretty much the classic misapprehension about the varietal, for one, especially the Alsace grapes, which are--as I've said repeatedly--extremely dry and robust. It seems as though you are under the mistaken assumption that the Trockenbeerenauslese are representative of all Riesling. I can't really argue against inexperience.

Don't take my word for it, though. Read up. Try some of the Alsacian labels. They are really a perfect pairing for a curry.

The Otaku Suppository

I'm a bartender for fucks sake don't go patronizing me about wine this and that. Hell I've even been to Alsace. So please, just read what I'm saying.

I've had rieslings before, from both sides of the Rhine. Both dry and sweet. I like dry rieslings. My beef was with several bottles of gerwurtztraminer I brought back from France. Which sadly happened to be a sweet gerwurtztraminer as opposed to a dry one.

And fine, people think its a great pairing. If people said shit made a perfect pairing with pancakes doesn't mean I'd like it.

Wise_a

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

I'm a bartender for fucks sake don't go patronizing me about wine this and that. Hell I've even been to Alsace. So please, just read what I'm saying.

I've had rieslings before, from both sides of the Rhine. Both dry and sweet. I like dry rieslings. My beef was with several bottles of gerwurtztraminer I brought back from France. Which sadly happened to be a sweet gerwurtztraminer as opposed to a dry one.

And fine, people think its a great pairing. If people said shit made a perfect pairing with pancakes doesn't mean I'd like it.

Recipe for shit pancakes:

1 box pancake batter (or baby batter)
Cut up apples
Cinnamon
Vanilla
2-3 turd logs, coarsely chopped.

ZebesianPirate

Wise_a wrote: »

The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »

I'm a bartender for fucks sake don't go patronizing me about wine this and that. Hell I've even been to Alsace. So please, just read what I'm saying.

I've had rieslings before, from both sides of the Rhine. Both dry and sweet. I like dry rieslings. My beef was with several bottles of gerwurtztraminer I brought back from France. Which sadly happened to be a sweet gerwurtztraminer as opposed to a dry one.

And fine, people think its a great pairing. If people said shit made a perfect pairing with pancakes doesn't mean I'd like it.

Recipe for shit pancakes:

1 box pancake batter (or baby batter)
Cut up apples
Cinnamon
Vanilla
2-3 turd logs, coarsely chopped.

As a shit pancake purist I object to the inclusion of cinnamon, vanilla and apple. I only want shit in there.

Wise_a

I made mussels last night, really easy recipe that takes like 15 minutes to make. When we have this, we usually have some kind of sandwiches (last night was roast beef and avocado sams). It fills you up and its actually pretty good for you.

4 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
2-3 shallots, finely chopped
1 can unseasoned tomato sauce
handful of fresh parsley
handful of fresh basil
1 cup white wine
1 bag (2 lbs usually) mussels

Heat some olive oil in a deep saucepan at like medium heat. Once the oil is hot, drop the garlic and shallots in. Season this right away with salt and pepper (to bring out the taste). Let it saute until it starts to just get brown around the edges. Once this happens, put in tomato sauce and wine. Turn heat up to high and let some of the wine boil off, which will make the sauce thicker. Once this is done, drop in the basil and parsley. Also add the mussels in (put them in by hand so that the water doesn't go with them, it is dirty from the mussels expelling sand and grit). Cook for about 4-5 minutes until the mussels open. Serve in a large soup bowl with some bread on the side to sop up the juice.

Seperately, you should have your mussels prepared. To do this, soak them in a big bowl of water right when you get home. After about 30 mins, take them out of water they are in (which will be dirty with sand and grit) and run them under cold water. Scrub them with your hands or a brush so they get cleaned off, and pull the byssal threads out (pull down, not straight out or you might kill them). Place the clean mussels in a seperate bowl of cold water until you need to put them in the food.

Wise_a

Also, I tried this about a year ago: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Crab-Whiskey-Soup/Detail.aspx

Its whiskey crab soup. My girlfriend likes it so much that we have it probably once a month.

Rankenphile

oh jesus please don't let this turn into a winesnob thread

bent

When it comes to drinking wine, for a nice white you must chill it until the flavour is paralysed, for a nice red you must spill it all over yourself, preferably whilst wearing a white vest, but a t-shirt will suffice.

naporeon

Rankenphile wrote: »

oh jesus please don't let this turn into a winesnob thread

Too late, fucker.

Also, speaking of cooking, we're still going to go pick a couple carloads of chanterelles, right? I require tasty mushrooms, and Dru needs to ascend to his throne as queen of the fairie people.

Rankenphile

if the wine ain't come in a box or with a little loop on the jug, you got ripped off

Rankenphile

naporeon wrote: »

Rankenphile wrote: »

oh jesus please don't let this turn into a winesnob thread

Too late, fucker.

Also, speaking of cooking, we're still going to go pick a couple carloads of chanterelles, right? I require tasty mushrooms, and Dru needs to ascend to his throne as queen of the fairie people.

yeah, soon as the season rolls around. We still got a month or so before shit gets all damn delicious.

naporeon

Rankenphile wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Rankenphile wrote: »

oh jesus please don't let this turn into a winesnob thread

Too late, fucker.

Also, speaking of cooking, we're still going to go pick a couple carloads of chanterelles, right? I require tasty mushrooms, and Dru needs to ascend to his throne as queen of the fairie people.

yeah, soon as the season rolls around. We still got a month or so before shit gets all damn delicious.

Oh, I know. I just wanted to make sure that we were still on for magical faerie time.

Rankenphile

naporeon wrote: »

Rankenphile wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Rankenphile wrote: »

oh jesus please don't let this turn into a winesnob thread

Too late, fucker.

Also, speaking of cooking, we're still going to go pick a couple carloads of chanterelles, right? I require tasty mushrooms, and Dru needs to ascend to his throne as queen of the fairie people.

yeah, soon as the season rolls around. We still got a month or so before shit gets all damn delicious.

Oh, I know. I just wanted to make sure that we were still on for magical faerie time.

Shit, dogg, I could give a toss if you dudes wanted to come or not, but try and fuckin stop me from gettin me some of them forest morsels. That shit is pure goddamn delicious, and it's fuckin free and all you gotta do to get it is go for a walk in the woods, which is like one of my favorite things anyway.

So hells to the yes, it's on like donkey kong.

Keith

I bought a vegetarian cookbook and I flipped through it and man vegetables look gross

Wise_a

Rankenphile wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Rankenphile wrote: »

naporeon wrote: »

Rankenphile wrote: »

oh jesus please don't let this turn into a winesnob thread

Too late, fucker.

Also, speaking of cooking, we're still going to go pick a couple carloads of chanterelles, right? I require tasty mushrooms, and Dru needs to ascend to his throne as queen of the fairie people.

yeah, soon as the season rolls around. We still got a month or so before shit gets all damn delicious.

Oh, I know. I just wanted to make sure that we were still on for magical faerie time.

Shit, dogg, I could give a toss if you dudes wanted to come or not, but try and fuckin stop me from gettin me some of them forest morsels. That shit is pure goddamn delicious, and it's fuckin free and all you gotta do to get it is go for a walk in the woods, which is like one of my favorite things anyway.

So hells to the yes, it's on like donkey kong.

Can you elaborate a little more on this please? I'd love to get in on some of that in my area. Where do you have to be? How hard are they to find? Whats a good recipe using them?

Also, please include another donkey kong reference if possible.

Rankenphile

depends on where you are, typically you want a forest that is at least 40 years old or so, preferably near the pacific coast, although I'm not really up on how chantrelle mushrooms grow in other places. In the fall, they start to grow, but you need to get out there before the frost comes, as it kills them off. Keep on the lookout for the hammer, you can use it to smash barrels instead of having to leap over them. The more damp the previous season, the better. They tend to grow around fallen logs and in shady spaces, so a good expanse of undisturbed forest is ideal. They're orange flat-capped mushrooms, and they do have a toxic look-alike, so always always always have a local fungi guidebook for identifying mushrooms and never eat anything you are not 100% confident about.

Rankenphile

actually, if you guys wanna come hunting this year, we should all go to the Puget Sound Wild Mushroom Show next month. It will give you a good chance to learn the edible and poisonous mushrooms first-hand and a chance to ask some experts questions, which is far more valuable than any guidebook would ever be.

Rankenphile

actually, here's a great article on best practices when mushroom hunting. This one is for chantrelles, but the same holds true for just about any mushroom hunt.

The Far Side

ahaha dru is as old as a forest!

Rankenphile

that's some pretty weak material

The Far Side

as is dru's constitution