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Fucking with your coworkers

CalliusCallius Registered User regular
edited October 2007 in Singularity Engine++
So, last night a coworker of mine didn't lock his computer or log off when he went home. And we all know what that means... time to fuck with him!

I screen shotted his desktop, hid his task bar, hid all of his icons, put the screen shot as the wallpaper and reversed his two mouse buttons. Lo and behold, he couldn't do shit.

Well, I got in to work this morning and he was fucking livid, all bein' aggressive and saying that if I did it again he'd beat me. Shit like that. Turns out he couldn't figure out a way to fix it so he completely reformatted his computer.


yes... he reformatted his computer instead of spending five minutes to "fix" it.

He is supposed to be tech support.


Anyway, moral of the story... how have you fucked with your coworkers?

and go.

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Callius on
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Posts

  • ArcibiArcibi Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Callius wrote: »
    Anyway, moral of the story... how have you fucked with your coworkers?

    :winky:

    Arcibi on
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  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I used to fuck with my coworkers all the time when I am in the office.

    Now we have worms armageddon to settle scores.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters
  • ZonugalZonugal Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Butters wrote: »
    I used to fuck with my coworkers all the time when I am in the office.

    Now we have worms armageddon to settle scores.

    You must work in a marvelous place

    Zonugal on
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  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    That was a mean thing to do to Weaver, Cal.

    Abracadaniel on
  • MonkeybombMonkeybomb Registered User
    edited September 2007
    bahahaha

    tech support

    more like


    I don't know, something dumb.

    Monkeybomb on
    Xbox Live Gamertag: Triplemonkeybom
    monkeysig-1.jpg
  • Lord DaveLord Dave Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

    Lord Dave on
    Denny's is for winners.
    mkc.pngmkc.pngmkc.pngmontykevin.png
  • AslanAslan Registered User
    edited September 2007
    I love you, Cal.

    Aslan on
    Captain_Renault.gif I'm shocked...shocked, to find faggotry in this thread.
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Butters wrote: »
    I used to fuck with my coworkers all the time when I am in the office.

    Now we have worms armageddon to settle scores.

    You must work in a marvelous place

    Not really but due to the business' small size we can get away with it over lunch and occasionally at the end of the day. Those of us that do it each have a laptop.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    That was a mean thing to do to Weaver, Cal.
    Weaver is actually, in the immortal words of our supervisor, a rockstar.

    If I did this to him he'd have it resolved in about two minutes and then somehow make my computer explode in a puff of razor blades coated in ebola.

    Callius on
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  • MonkeybombMonkeybomb Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Lord Dave wrote: »
    One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

    I put various items from my one coworker's desk in Jello.

    Then when I changed offices, I started sending him faxes as himself from the future.

    Monkeybomb on
    Xbox Live Gamertag: Triplemonkeybom
    monkeysig-1.jpg
  • Katchem_ashKatchem_ash __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2007
    Lord Dave wrote: »
    One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

    Yeah, isn't that from The Office?

    Katchem_ash on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    One time, I banged Pam Beasley

    lostwords on
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  • Lord DaveLord Dave Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Monkeybomb wrote: »
    Lord Dave wrote: »
    One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

    I put various items from my one coworker's desk in Jello.

    Then when I changed offices, I started sending him faxes as himself from the future.

    One time I moved my coworker's desk into the bathroom.

    It didn't seem to bother him that much, though. Maybe he's a pervert.

    Lord Dave on
    Denny's is for winners.
    mkc.pngmkc.pngmkc.pngmontykevin.png
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Over the course of 2 months, each night I broke into my bosses office and sprinkled celery salt on his carpet.

    Each day, the smell got worse and worse. Everytime he walked, it kicked up the smell. Everytime he opened the door, everytime the air vents turned on.

    FOR MONTHS.


    To this day, I'm told he gets ill at the first scent of celery.



    This is what happens when you deny me a long weekend. Learn from your fucking mistakes.

    Stale on
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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I met my wife to be at work so I fuck my coworker all the time.

    Preacher on
  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I wrote JESSICA SHERMAN WAS HERE SLUTS inside the elevator with a Sharpie

    guess what it worked

    Skull Man on
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Stale wrote: »
    Over the course of 2 months, each night I broke into my bosses office and sprinkled celery salt on his carpet.

    Each day, the smell got worse and worse. Everytime he walked, it kicked up the smell. Everytime he opened the door, everytime the air vents turned on.

    FOR MONTHS.


    To this day, I'm told he gets ill at the first scent of celery.



    This is what happens when you deny me a long weekend. Learn from your fucking mistakes.
    Stale, you're just fucking evil sometimes.

    Let's make love.

    Callius on
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  • LarlarLarlar Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    I can't remember if I got the idea from here or from someone else, but I once taped an airhorn underneath my boss' hydraulic chair so that when he sat down it would go off.

    So basically what all my other coworkers in all the cubicles on the floor heard was a relatively quiet work morning followed by a loud blast followed by a loud scream and a crash and then a lot of loud laughing from another part of the floor. I almost passed out, I was laughing so hard.

    He bought me donuts for that one.

    Larlar on
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  • Lord DaveLord Dave Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I started calling my coworker Big Tuna because he ate a tuna sandwich on his first day, and now I'm really hungry and wish I had a tuna sandwich.

    Lord Dave on
    Denny's is for winners.
    mkc.pngmkc.pngmkc.pngmontykevin.png
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I signed a coworker up for the Army a couple of months ago...

    Also, anytime somebody leaves their computer open, it is an automatic invitation to post the most fucked up picture (SFW) you can find.

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I fingerbanged an admin assistant in the elevator once.

    Meiz on
  • AslanAslan Registered User
    edited September 2007
    I have a story about how I fucked this girl on the fourth floor landing right above the ice machine and some guy heard us and they thought it was some of the inmates we have around here doing trustee duty and they locked that door from then on, and I got another job in a completely different part of the building and someone mentioned that incident on my first day. I am legend.

    Aslan on
    Captain_Renault.gif I'm shocked...shocked, to find faggotry in this thread.
  • LarlarLarlar Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Aslan wrote: »
    I have a story about how I fucked this girl on the fourth floor landing right above the ice machine and some guy heard us and they thought it was some of the inmates we have around here doing trustee duty and they locked that door from then on, and I got another job in a completely different part of the building and someone mentioned that incident on my first day. I am legend.

    That's awesome.

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Larlar wrote: »
    I can't remember if I got the idea from here or from someone else, but I once taped an airhorn underneath my boss' hydraulic chair so that when he sat down it would go off.

    So basically what all my other coworkers in all the cubicles on the floor heard was a relatively quiet work morning followed by a loud blast followed by a loud scream and a crash and then a lot of loud laughing from another part of the floor. I almost passed out, I was laughing so hard.

    He bought me donuts for that one.

    That's brilliant.

    Tonkka on
  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

    she got paid more for a week, then fired

    that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

    Skull Man on
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I've only had sex at the workplace with my girlfriend after hours so it really doesn't count.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    the trick is to do that whole screenshot and hiding icons thing, but do it on 2 neighboring monitors
    place each wallpaper on the opposite computer, and switch the cables

    potatoe on
    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • snapsnap Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    i used to refer to one of my coworkers as a plebian. He didn't know what it meant and thought it was a "pretty cool nickname."

    snap on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    snap wrote: »
    i used to refer to one of my coworkers as a plebian. He didn't know what it meant and thought it was a "pretty cool nickname."

    haha

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Skull Man wrote: »
    I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

    she got paid more for a week, then fired

    that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

    harsh

    Kuribo's Shoe on
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  • RageRage Registered User
    edited September 2007
    - Officemate went on vacation for two weeks, so I brought in a Costco-sized roll of plastic wrap. Even our director was in his cube, wrapping everything that wasn't attached to his desk. Once that job was completed, we walled in and roofed the cube with the remaining plastic wrap, afterwhich I cut a rectangular window out, taped a cardboard "door" labeled "Recycling".

    For the next two weeks, our entire building of 200+ devs, QA and tech support staff filled Josh's cube up with empty pop cans and cardboard. His cube never smelled quite right ever again after that.


    - My first gig at MS years ago. One of the PMs went on maternity leave for a month after his daughter was born. Our old building had a massive freight elevator around the back side of the regular elevator area, and one of the other managers decided it would make an absolutely perfect office for Terry, since Terry was an incredible dick about people fucking with his stuff.

    So, we had Facilities close down the elevator for 2 days - took reference photos of Terry's office, and 10 of us proceeded to systematically take apart and re-build his entire office IN the freight elevator; desk, computers, haggard-ass futon couch thing...everything was removed and relocated into his new "office" and our boss's boss had MSIT change his office location in the GAL to "B25-Freight01" to make it official.

    He was actually a really good sport about it when he came back, and even worked out of the elevator for a couple of days to keep the joke rolling.

    Rage on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • LarlarLarlar Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Jordyn wrote: »
    I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

    Then really it's your boss who's messing with everyone by hiring you.

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I signed a coworker up for the Army a couple of months ago...

    Also, anytime somebody leaves their computer open, it is an automatic invitation to post the most fucked up picture (SFW) you can find.
    It's a known fact that leaving one's computer unlocked is an open invite.

    Callius on
    tonksigblack.png
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I put black marker on the eye piece of the microscopes all the time.

    Or put hazard labels on DI water that warn of cancer or blood born pathogens.

    Hunter on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Larlar wrote: »
    Jordyn wrote: »
    I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

    Then really it's your boss who's messing with everyone by hiring you.

    It's my mom that's messing with them for not just paying for all my stuff.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The celery salt thing was probably my greatest achievement in life.

    Over 2 months I took a perfectly sane aware confident man, and by the end he was haggard, costantly ill, and smelled celery EVERYWHERE. Even at home.


    "It follows me..... it follows me."


    Of course it did. he was kicking it up onto his pant legs each day. He spent thousands of dollars going to doctors. He was convinced he had a brain tumor.

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Skull Man wrote: »
    I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

    she got paid more for a week, then fired

    that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

    harsh

    yeah well

    I was hungry and had six hours before I got off

    I just got more and more pissed

    plus she was fat and seemed to really relish her food

    so it was extra infuriating

    and she used to sing radio edits of shit songs; that is, she would sing the songs loudly and go "hmm" over any swears

    Skull Man on
  • DajianDajian Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Whenever someone does not lock thier system at my work we "pony" them.

    We compose an email to the entire office saying how much they love ponies and usually include several "my little pony" images then send it from thier outlook.

    Dajian on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Hunter wrote: »
    I put black marker on the eye piece of the microscopes all the time.

    Or put hazard labels on DI water that warn of cancer or blood born pathogens.

    I read that as microphones first, and I was trying to figure out what kind of microphone has an eye piece.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
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