The holiday hangout will go online tomorrow! If there's anything in the regular subforums that you're going to want to access over the holidays, copy it now while it's still accessible.
Don't like the snow? You can make a bookmark with the following text instead of a url: javascript:snowStorm.toggleSnow(). Clicking it will toggle the snow on and off.
Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

Fucking with your coworkers

123578

Posts

  • Wombat!!Wombat!! Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    There is this really stupid girl where I work, so me and a friend concaucted a plan to make her freak out.

    I brought up in a conversation that i was 17 years old (a lie) and convinced her of it. I go off to do something, come back, and my buddy asks me how old I am a few minutes into a conversation, and I say I'm 15.

    At this point, she just has a dumb look on her face. "But, like, I thought that, like, you were 17!"

    This happens throughout the day, from 1 in the afternoon to 9 at night. I convinced her I was 21 at one point. By the end she just started yelling at me and throwing stuff, but still believed everything I said.

    BTW, she is one of those people who thinks that dinosaurs never existed. She is THAT kind of stupid.

  • BlitzkriegBlitzkrieg Registered User
    edited September 2007
    mully wrote: »
    you people doing things to your bosses...
    what kind of places do you work where that DOESN'T get you fired...
    i'd get fired in a heart beat if i even touched my boss' wheels
    i'm sure of it

    Be hard to replace.

    In my case, I write shit-tons of Java code that isn't commented and will explode if I'm ever fired. Of course the last part is a complete lie, but what they don't know...

    I also installed blue sleeve covers over the fluorescent tube bulbs in his office. Once his office was suitably strange looking, I put a big rainbow on his door.

  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I wouldn't fuck with my Managers/Bosses. They are too cool.

    Just this past week the nightshift manager asked me to drop him off at the "office."

    The "office" being this sportsbar a good 2 miles away and he told me I can just hang out there for a while till my shift was up, then run back and punch out. :^:

  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    My boss couldn't have fired me if he wanted to. The entire operation would have collapsed around his ears. I was responsible for 70% of what went out the door.


    "Dan could empty the safe, put it in his pockets, and flip me off..... and I'd hold the door for him on the way out."

    easysig2.jpg
  • RageRage Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Porkfry wrote: »
    Rage wrote: »
    Pork, did you learn this and\or pull it off at Atari once? Because this story & method of office sabotage is strangely familiar...

    I learned about it at Humongous before Atari came around so I'm not surprised if it sounds familiar to you.

    I think Vetch told me about it. (I was there well after your time, but the best stories stick)

  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    i told everyone at my last job that my last day also happened to be my birthday

    i got me some free cupcakes

    66OoDuJ.jpg
  • space_satanspace_satan __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2007
    I made a fortress out of pizza boxes and yelled at my co-workers through a tiny window i made. i address people next door via the drive thru window. i answer the phones in a forrest gump voice. its awesome.

  • FramlingFramling Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Callius wrote: »
    You can cock two guns at once by interlocking their slides and using the tension to pull them both.

    Hard to explain, but easy enough to do. Though there's not enough of a lip to get a good grip, so I suppose you could mod them by adding some sort of lip to the slide which would be easier to catch.

    ..... this probably makes no sense.

    Or you can just have hands big enough to cock a maverick one-handed.

    Easier.

    Well, for me.

    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
  • marty_0001marty_0001 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Some of this stuff is HILARIOUS. But I would get such an arse kicking if I tried any such thing at work, the culture there just isn't prank-friendly. Accountants, what can you do?

  • SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    You're a bean counter?



    Ahahahaha. That's God playing the best prank on you right there.

    twispandcatsbysigsmall.jpg
  • marty_0001marty_0001 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Oh I will get you so audited...

    ... Mr total-stranger I've-never-seen whose-tax-file-number-I-don't-have and-doesn't-even-live-in-the-same-country-as-me.

    Just like Batman for his parents and Spiderman for his uncle, so too was I called to fight on the side of the law. Tax law.

    Well not really.

  • SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    It will take you approximately 55.2 years to find, fill out, process and countersign the forms to request the forms to request that I am audited.

    twispandcatsbysigsmall.jpg
  • kcsaenzkcsaenz Registered User
    edited September 2007
    I work at a Fred Meyer and we have these scanner guns.
    Well this jack ass kept shining his in my eyes. So I went to the furnature department during my break and took a slip from a couch. The next time he pointed his scanner at me I held up the slip. At Fred Meyer if you have to remove and imem that cost more than $50 from an order you have to call a manager. So he had to call the manager and explain how a $399 couch ended up in his order. It was made even worse when I got him two more times.

  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    This is absolutely my favorite office prank. It just tickles me, inexplicably. I used to do it in the navy all the time.

    chillaxton.jpg
    and I broke parole just to get to you
  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Rage wrote: »
    When bored, I would take a peek at the real-time traffic monitors coming in and out of our F5s and Barracuda spam appliances.

    A bored administrator with domain root, Altiris and a remote console is nothing but good times.

    (find someone surfing MySpace or something...)

    net send: This is not company-approved content. Your workstation will be locked in 5 minutes and your supervisor notified of your actions.

    *5 minute panic*

    Remote to target machine and lock out the user.

    Wait for hilarity to ensue.

    do you, by any chance, read Bastard Operator from Hell?

  • kcsaenzkcsaenz Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Shorty wrote: »
    This is absolutely my favorite office prank. It just tickles me, inexplicably. I used to do it in the navy all the time.

    You used to do it in the navy all the time?
    Im not clicking that link.

  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I rather like the idea behind this thing. the power of air compression.

    At my night security job (walking around an apartment's parking lot, trying to be inconvenient to thieves) I sometimes twist up water bottles real tight and let the caps off, to get that big 'BOOM' sound. Don't know if it disturbs people, I just like doing it, and it's decent exercise for the forearms.

  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    Shorty wrote: »
    This is absolutely my favorite office prank. It just tickles me, inexplicably. I used to do it in the navy all the time.

    If I was connected up to the big printer here in the office I would so do that.

    It'd be especially hilarious because things are taken off this printer, taken down to the reprographics room and automatically laminated. So in the middle of some high-level military stuff would be a "You've been sharked!" image all nicely laminated and shiny.

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin. His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister. Lego. They're all made of fucking lego.
  • RocketScienceRocketScience Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Callius wrote: »
    So, last night a coworker of mine didn't lock his computer or log off when he went home. And we all know what that means... time to fuck with him!

    I screen shotted his desktop, hid his task bar, hid all of his icons, put the screen shot as the wallpaper and reversed his two mouse buttons. Lo and behold, he couldn't do shit.

    Well, I got in to work this morning and he was fucking livid, all bein' aggressive and saying that if I did it again he'd beat me. Shit like that. Turns out he couldn't figure out a way to fix it so he completely reformatted his computer.


    yes... he reformatted his computer instead of spending five minutes to "fix" it.

    He is supposed to be tech support.


    Anyway, moral of the story... how have you fucked with your coworkers?

    and go.

    I did that to a guy at work once but he didn't know how to fix it so I had to do it for him.

    Kind of defeated the purpose.

  • SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Rage wrote: »
    When bored, I would take a peek at the real-time traffic monitors coming in and out of our F5s and Barracuda spam appliances.

    A bored administrator with domain root, Altiris and a remote console is nothing but good times.

    (find someone surfing MySpace or something...)

    net send: This is not company-approved content. Your workstation will be locked in 5 minutes and your supervisor notified of your actions.

    *5 minute panic*

    Remote to target machine and lock out the user.

    Wait for hilarity to ensue.

    do you, by any chance, read Bastard Operator from Hell?


    BOFH is always a good read.

    twispandcatsbysigsmall.jpg
  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Silmaril wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Rage wrote: »
    When bored, I would take a peek at the real-time traffic monitors coming in and out of our F5s and Barracuda spam appliances.

    A bored administrator with domain root, Altiris and a remote console is nothing but good times.

    (find someone surfing MySpace or something...)

    net send: This is not company-approved content. Your workstation will be locked in 5 minutes and your supervisor notified of your actions.

    *5 minute panic*

    Remote to target machine and lock out the user.

    Wait for hilarity to ensue.

    do you, by any chance, read Bastard Operator from Hell?


    BOFH is always a good read.

    always killing/mutilating his high-turnover bosses, and never getting into shit for it. Yes, it is indeed, good fun.

  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    150cc wrote: »
    Callius wrote: »
    tl;dr awesome story

    dear Callie

    you are my hero

    Love sock

    man I could do this every single day at my job if I wanted to

    we have shared computers and people are constantly leaving their email open

    once I couldn't take it and i had to look and read a couple of emails about JOB DRAMA

    but i am too scared to prank

    This kind of loses it's appeal once you're a network admin and can just load up anybody's exchange mailbox anyway.

    Raneados wrote: »
    so what SPECIFICALLY is the problem with my hole?
  • BedigumxBedigumx Registered User
    edited September 2007
    marty_0001 wrote: »
    Oh I will get you so audited...

    ... Mr total-stranger I've-never-seen whose-tax-file-number-I-don't-have and-doesn't-even-live-in-the-same-country-as-me.

    Just like Batman for his parents and Spiderman for his uncle, so too was I called to fight on the side of the law. Tax law.

    Well not really.

    Marty are you pubic or private accounting? Cuz if you're public, I'm thinking we could be like the Wonder-Twins of the accounting industy. Though I should let you know that I'm in audit

    SirToons wrote:
    I just beat some 20 year old up
    Replace "beat some 20" with "failed to do a push up" and "year old up" with "then ran off crying."
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Bedigumx wrote: »
    marty_0001 wrote: »
    Oh I will get you so audited...

    ... Mr total-stranger I've-never-seen whose-tax-file-number-I-don't-have and-doesn't-even-live-in-the-same-country-as-me.

    Just like Batman for his parents and Spiderman for his uncle, so too was I called to fight on the side of the law. Tax law.

    Well not really.

    Marty are you pubic or private accounting? Cuz if you're public, I'm thinking we could be like the Wonder-Twins of the accounting industy. Though I should let you know that I'm in audit

    Pff, audit and tax dont got nothing on SOX 404 Internal Control work.

    Some say that the Blood Angels are tainted: that they harbour a dark secret. I know this to be true. I have seen the infamous Death Company: wild-eyed and foam-mouthed berserkers who tear their enemies limb from limb, crush skulls with a single blow, snap spines and rip out inner organs. I have seen the Sanguinary Priests: the passing of blood filled chalices from lip to lip, heard their wracking lamentations of Sanguinus's death. I have watched their rituals: mighty warriors daubing their armour in the blood of their foes, heard them crying for vengeance against the enemies of the Emperor.
  • FramlingFramling Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    My mom was a CPA.

    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Framling wrote: »
    Or you can just have hands big enough to cock a maverick one-handed.

    Easier.

    Well, for me.
    Shut up, gigantor

    tonksigblack.png
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    you're one to talk

    :winky:

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
    services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane
    Secret Satan Wishlists: Regular List Coffee Stuff
    FUNTENDO DS BROCODE: 2337-4364-1683
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    If you have a community fridge, putting hot sauce in someone's food might be entertaining.


    Like, the brutally hot shit. the kind that causes blindness and tingling of the HAIR.

    www.facebook.com/itgetsworseska
    Spoiler:
  • denihilistdenihilist tiny, tiny little man live music capitol of the worldRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    Old post, sorry folks.
    Callius wrote: »
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    That was a mean thing to do to Weaver, Cal.
    Weaver is actually, in the immortal words of our supervisor, a rockstar.

    If I did this to him he'd have it resolved in about two minutes and then somehow make my computer explode in a puff of razor blades coated in ebola.
    Wait a minute, when did you start working with Weaver?

  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    Yeah Cal, you should be able to cock 2 Mavericks with your wang.

    pun intended

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    denihilist wrote: »
    Old post, sorry folks.
    Callius wrote: »
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    That was a mean thing to do to Weaver, Cal.
    Weaver is actually, in the immortal words of our supervisor, a rockstar.

    If I did this to him he'd have it resolved in about two minutes and then somehow make my computer explode in a puff of razor blades coated in ebola.
    Wait a minute, when did you start working with Weaver?
    About a month ago. Cal and Natasha moved to Seattle a few months back.

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • ComahawkComahawk Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    TDL wrote: »
    We used to fuck with each other all the time in the Army, but mostly it was just being cruel.

    Like duct taping a guy up in the fetal position with no pants on and leaving him in someone else's tent.

    Yeah, the pranks I was involved with were usually pretty asshole.

    Like the one kid who thought he could be an asshole to me in one kitchen, and wouldn't believe me that I was going to burn him with the flaming metal spatula I had. Boy, was he surprised... I think his wrist still has a scar on it. But after that event we became pretty good friends.

    Same place I hated one of the supervisors, but the other ones liked me and so did the manager. So, I turned our hallway with all our bulletin boards upside down. Flipped everything around, every notice, the boards, the rug, coat hanger... Everything that wasn't bolted down, i flipped upside down. Unfortunately, she didn't even notice.

    Otherwise, the generic kitchen assholedness of spiking peoples drinks with random crap, cutting straws down to nothing...

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • WeaverWeaver Storm coming FinallyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    And we lived happily ever after

    7BLr6AJ.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Framling wrote: »
    My mom was a CPA.

    yeah, was.

    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • variantvariant Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Haha,

    I also work as tech support for a hosting company, this one time one of my co-workers left his station on, and man we went to town with that shit.

    We changed all the important aliases we use like vi, ping, etc to do other random shit, and put on a script that would randomly crash his firefox(important because we work through an online case system) every 1 - 10 mins.

    He was so pissed because he couldn't figure out how to fix the firefox thing that he went and complained to upper management because we do have a policy that says we can't fuck with anyone's station, but management told him "well, there's also the policy that states you should never ever leave your work station unlocked."

    Man that was a drama week but funny as hell. :lol:

  • RageRage Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Silmaril wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Rage wrote: »
    When bored, I would take a peek at the real-time traffic monitors coming in and out of our F5s and Barracuda spam appliances.

    A bored administrator with domain root, Altiris and a remote console is nothing but good times.

    (find someone surfing MySpace or something...)

    net send: This is not company-approved content. Your workstation will be locked in 5 minutes and your supervisor notified of your actions.

    *5 minute panic*

    Remote to target machine and lock out the user.

    Wait for hilarity to ensue.

    do you, by any chance, read Bastard Operator from Hell?


    BOFH is always a good read.

    always killing/mutilating his high-turnover bosses, and never getting into shit for it. Yes, it is indeed, good fun.

    Nope, but it sounds like I definitely should. :^:

  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Rage wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Silmaril wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Rage wrote: »
    When bored, I would take a peek at the real-time traffic monitors coming in and out of our F5s and Barracuda spam appliances.

    A bored administrator with domain root, Altiris and a remote console is nothing but good times.

    (find someone surfing MySpace or something...)

    net send: This is not company-approved content. Your workstation will be locked in 5 minutes and your supervisor notified of your actions.

    *5 minute panic*

    Remote to target machine and lock out the user.

    Wait for hilarity to ensue.

    do you, by any chance, read Bastard Operator from Hell?


    BOFH is always a good read.

    always killing/mutilating his high-turnover bosses, and never getting into shit for it. Yes, it is indeed, good fun.

    Nope, but it sounds like I definitely should. :^:

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/

    There's a whole bunch of them, and there's others from before 2000 (links for the 2000 and on stuff is at the bottom of that page), but I can't recall where they put it. Odds are, the only place to find the oldest stuff is in the out of print book they put out a while back.

    EDIT: nevermind, I found them: http://bofh.ntk.net/

  • Dis_quietDis_quiet Registered User
    edited September 2007
    When I was in high school, I worked at a restaurant for a while. One of the cooks and I got into a bit of a prank war. This one was my favorite. The cooks had these large metal seasoning shakers (about the size of a pop can) that they used to season steaks, burgers, etc. One day, before the cook came in, I took one of the shakers, unscrewed the lid, emptied it, then put about an inch of vinegar in the bottom. Then I covered the open top with a piece of tissue, and pushed it down a little ways into the container, making a bowl shape. The bottom of this tissue bowl was about an inch above the vinegar. Then I filled the tissue bowl with baking soda. Finally, replaced the lid and trimmed the extra tissue from around the outside of the lid.

    When he turned the shaker upside down and started to shake it, the vinegar quickly soaked through the tissue and mixed with the baking soda, sending an impressive fountain of foam all over the damn place.

  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Dis_quiet wrote: »
    When I was in high school, I worked at a restaurant for a while. One of the cooks and I got into a bit of a prank war. This one was my favorite. The cooks had these large metal seasoning shakers (about the size of a pop can) that they used to season steaks, burgers, etc. One day, before the cook came in, I took one of the shakers, unscrewed the lid, emptied it, then put about an inch of vinegar in the bottom. Then I covered the open top with a piece of tissue, and pushed it down a little ways into the container, making a bowl shape. The bottom of this tissue bowl was about an inch above the vinegar. Then I filled the tissue bowl with baking soda. Finally, replaced the lid and trimmed the extra tissue from around the outside of the lid.

    When he turned the shaker upside down and started to shake it, the vinegar quickly soaked through the tissue and mixed with the baking soda, sending an impressive fountain of foam all over the damn place.

    AHAHAHAHASCIENCEFAIRVOLCANOHAHAHA

    tonkkatrikesig.jpg
    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
  • Phil316Phil316 Registered User
    edited September 2007
    somehow managed to take a picture of my own ass crack with my supervisors cellphone and set it as his wallpaper

    then i handed him his phone and told him he missed a call

    americanfootballsigdi0.jpg
    Spoiler:
Sign In or Register to comment.