Fine Line Between Brave and Stupid (Done got mugged)

Framling

Yeah, for a while they had the shapes for the normal kind and then the sugar-free kind was round, and now they're all round.

Faricazy

this totally ends in the mugger pleading for fram to do him in the butt

FAQ

Fram was that the story of how you met Jordyn

Framling

No, no, the story of how Jordyn and I met goes something like this:

[Int: Grocery Store]
JORDYN: Excuse me, do you know where the maple syrup is? AND THAT'S HOW ME MET.
[END SCENE]

Faricazy

if she said that

that's so meta

MKR

golf clap

BusterK

The story with my GF goes like this
Me: Mind if I sit here?
Her: No, wait I mean yes.
Me. Too late!

Khavall

Faricazy wrote: »

if she said that

that's so meta

If any girl ended the first thing she ever said to me with the words "AND THAT'S HOW WE MET" I would pretty much be hers right there.

Hoz

Like you wouldn't be hers anyway because of the whole vagina deal.

Paper Tiger

I came home to my apartment one night and I found that the screen for my window had been peeled back. I figured that someone had tried to break in and left in a hurry.

It was really weird cause first of all, my apartment is right off of campus and that window is by a pretty busy street that's right across from the campus police department.

Secondly, I have nothing but dirty underwear in my room.

Khavall

Well there's the vagina thing too. That would also play a part in my decision making process, yes.

Blitzkrieg

I would totally use my krav maga bursting technique and duck away and under the knife while...

I saw it on Human Weapon, I can totally do it now.

Oh who am I kidding, I would just cry like a girl scout with no cookies.

Muse Among Men

How about a dog? A big pitbull with a spiked collar. Having one around would probably ward off anything who would otherwise mug/kill/rape/shanghai/round-house kick you.

Framling

Muse Among Men wrote: »

How about a dog? A big pitbull with a spiked collar. Having one around would probably ward off anything who would otherwise mug/kill/rape/shanghai/round-house kick you.

Also, it would eat you.

Wren

I'd mug you then rape your dog

Muse Among Men

I can tell none of you'se grew up with pits. They are loveable dogs. And dont let no one rape 'em.

Wren

then are you saying bestiality is consensual? because I'd totally agree

Jordyn

Framling wrote: »

No, no, the story of how Jordyn and I met goes something like this:

[Int: Grocery Store]
JORDYN: Excuse me, do you know where the maple syrup is? AND THAT'S HOW ME MET.
[END SCENE]

oh god that was so funny

Faricazy

pits are dumb though

dumbbb

Muse Among Men

Okay, yes, pits are dumb. I remember having one that would jump as high as he could to bite lemons off the tree. Never succeeded.

Defender

Poorochondriac wrote: »

I was in Colorado last week, visiting home. Coming back, I had to take public transportation, since none of my friends have cars. So I was on the subway with my suitcase and my backpack, collectively containing my laptop, my digital camera, and my iPod.

About three blocks away from my house, two guys come out of a nearby alley. One starts walking next to me, the other behind me. The one next to me says "Hey man, where's my dollar?" "I didn't know you were asking." "Well you got one?" "Sorry, fresh out."

The guy behind me grabs me and sticks a knife up to my neck. Says "Then I guess you better give us everything you got." Now my first thought wasn't actually fear or anything, but more irritation at how fucking cliched they were being about everything. Like, seriously. What's with the little routine in the leadup?

Anyway, I decide I'm pissed off at being mugged by such retards. I say "I'm not giving you shit. You aren't gonna stab me." He ignores me, saying "Bitch, you wanna get poked?" Now, who the fuck says "poked?" I've never been mugged before, so I'm not really up on my mugging slang. But that just sounds retarded.

At this point, I tell them I'm three blocks from home, my roommate is expecting me, and then anything that happened to me would be almost immediately discovered. The guy with the knife chose to not issue a rebuttal, instead pressing said knife harder against my neck.

I point out that if they hadn't killed me yet, they weren't planning on it. So they give up the threats and start trying to grab shit out of my pockets, the bigger one trying to hold my arm backs. For the first time ever, my years of wrestling proved helpful, and I was able to squirm around enough that they couldn't get much. One managed to snatch my wallet, at which point both of them booked.

It had $85, my license, various gift cards, and my debit card. The day before rent's due, even. Thanks, muggers!

tl;dr Got mugged

That's fucking awesome.

Poorochondriac

Yeah, getting mugged is pretty sweet.

On the upside, I have a business meeting here in a few that I was pretty nervous about. Doesn't seem like such a big deal, now.

BusterK

Poo if you're ever in trouble
Give me a call
But serious trouble
Not "I got too drunk and don't know where I am"

Poorochondriac

Buster that is the main sort of trouble I am likely to get into.

Khavall

If you're ever in that sort of trouble call me up.

:winky:

Defender

Poorochondriac wrote: »

Yeah, getting mugged is pretty sweet.

On the upside, I have a business meeting here in a few that I was pretty nervous about. Doesn't seem like such a big deal, now.

After something like that, everything else gets the volume turned down.

Centipede Damascus

Buster you sound like quite the fair-weather friend

Jordyn

That's the best kind of friend to be.