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The Mom Thread
Graves
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Everybody has one, be they cool, embarassing, stupid, crazy, or dead.
:This is where a nice picture of a 50s style ideal mother would go if I didn't only get porn images when I GIS "mom":
So let's talk about the woman who forced you from her vagina, or maybe had you removed from her through a man made hole because you were a fatty or some other medical reason, or because she is lazy.
My mom is the get-rich-quick type, she never has a job but she's always thinking of some new scheme to get some benjamins.
She's the most caring mother I know of, always willing to lend a hand with anything.
All my friends love her, even though she has probably the lamest jokes that I have ever heard in my life.
So how about your mothers, SE++?
:This is where a nice picture of a 50s style ideal mother would go if I didn't only get porn images when I GIS "mom":
So let's talk about the woman who forced you from her vagina, or maybe had you removed from her through a man made hole because you were a fatty or some other medical reason, or because she is lazy.
My mom is the get-rich-quick type, she never has a job but she's always thinking of some new scheme to get some benjamins.
She's the most caring mother I know of, always willing to lend a hand with anything.
All my friends love her, even though she has probably the lamest jokes that I have ever heard in my life.
So how about your mothers, SE++?
Graves on
Usher wrote:Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
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You son of a bitch rub it in why don't you
"you know, if you want, you can bring a girl home and fuck her in your room."
"MOM WHAT THE HELL"
"Just make sure you wear a condom. I don't want some hussy getting pregnant and ruining your life."
"MOM JESUS CHRIST"
"Also I want to meet her, if you're going to be having sex with her."
"MOM I DONT HAVE A DOOR TO MY ROOM HOW AM I GOING TO HAVE SEX WHEN I KNOW YOU WILL COME IN AND OFFER COOKIES OR SOMETHING"
"Well, do it when we're not home. Just don't use my bed."
"GET OUT"
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satan, check this wishlist's rims out
MICHELLESTARTER MK 3 https://www.wepay.com/donations/michellestarter-mk-iii-analogy-or-pun-comparable-to-iron-man
Your mom sounds pretty cool, you should see what other moms are like
Tegan and Sara Appreciation Station | LOOKS GOOD! | Fancy Cat Moustache! :{3
Dorothy Mantooth is a SAINT!
What is wrong with your mom walking in on you getting it on and offering cookies?
That would be the best sex occurrence.
then she died
you too eh?
<+Ravenger> you are talking to me
<@heels>; oh god, what am i doing
"Hey, remember when you pissed in my brand new van?"
"Mom, I was like four."
"He goes, 'If you don't pull over the car, I'm gonna pee in it!' and then he did."
"Mom, I don't even know these people why are you telling them this?"
"Or remember the time your sisters dressed you up in skirts and you liked it?"
"MOM THAT IS PRIVATE"
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satan, check this wishlist's rims out
your mom is mad as hell and she's not gonna take it anymore
Tegan and Sara Appreciation Station | LOOKS GOOD! | Fancy Cat Moustache! :{3
also
i still haven't called my mom back after she called a few weeks ago i did speak with her on AIM though
that counts, right?
also i came out of a man-made hole following my brother
services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane | dropbox
My mum is pretty much awesome. Smart as a chimp and sharp as a tack, she instilled in me my love of language, my thirst for knowledge, my sense of selflessness and my wish to be as good a person as she.
If I can be as good a dad as she is a mum, I will be very proud of myself.
She extracted 4 empty liqour bottles and said to me, "Chris, you're an idiot. These go in the recycling and that is why your room is so messy."
Upon finding a condom in my jacket that she borrowed without asking and returning it to me, she said "Is this safe to wear now?" and I said "Well... I think it might be less safe now"
After finding a girl's shirt in my room, she washed it and folded it.
She is so fucking awesome it hurts.
Awww thanks.
Wait, why what's wrong with her?
I'd sure like to meet her.
oh it's bullshit
they were remodeling their house, and got new doors. so they rip mine off to put in a new one.
this was six years ago. I watched every single other door get put on, never mine, even though I asked many many times.
Then, about two days after i move out because my step dad is a fucking asshole and my mom thinks its funny, they put a door up.
fuckers.
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satan, check this wishlist's rims out
She's dead
I would be very happy with my achievements
services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane | dropbox
oh boy that would go over great
this is the exact conversation after a girl meets my mom and then leaves
"She's cute, are you going out with her?"
"No, we're just friends."
"Okay. Remember to wear a condom when you have sex with her."
"Thank you."
"Do you need any condoms? I'll buy some for you."
"We're not having sex."
"Well you should, she's pretty fuckable."
"SHES WITHIN EARSHOT MOM"
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satan, check this wishlist's rims out
she didn't do the greatest job, and it's shown at times, but she did the best she could, and instilled in me a strong work ethic and to take pride in the things that I do, and do be independent.
services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane | dropbox
People think she is like 35-40 but she is 51 and that makes people go "huh?"
Also my mom is crazy and has extreme anxiety problems but we keep her on her pills and we are all happy.
Last night I stumbled into my room drunk at 11:45, and I saw that she had bought me an inflatable baseball bat and a yummy gingerbread man.
Girl? Yes. She seems like a nice lady.
and she looks just like her mother
and all three of us (me, my mom, and her mom) are all the oldest of our siblings
so it's not that amazing
She often does that sort of thing for friends of the family. Righting wrongs, hooking people up.
One time, before I had my bipolar under control, I got caught in an insanely deep depressive fit. My mom's way of dealing with it was to tell me that if I decided to kill myself, to take the razor blades into the bathtub so my blood didn't stain the concrete in the garage.
She's kind of all over the place.
people used to think she was my sister
now when they meet me after meeting my mom they're like "NO WAY I didn't know you had such an old daughter I thought you meant she was like 4 or 6 or something"
"No. Yes."
"Why is my dog having trouble walking?"
"He's drunk too."
"Fantastic."
"He's also arthritic."
that was actually a pretty funny night.
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satan, check this wishlist's rims out
What does your mom do?