Best (Worst) Computer Advice

Richard M. Nixon

ITT we post the worst advice we have ever received re. computers or technology

In Grade 10 I was told by the head librarian (and sysop) at my highschool that an internet connection was like a door. The more you try to view/download, the wider open the door is forced, so it's best to have at least half-a-dozen windows open at any time to really maximise your connection speed.

redfenix

It's not a truck!

tugga

excuse me we already have a nixon

thorgot

some kid in high school did not realize we were being sarcastic when we told him to delete his windows folder to free up some room.

Abracadaniel

hey ds

Richard M. Nixon

sup sh

t tugga no you don't

Abracadaniel

not much

got rockband

eatin quiznos
awm nom nom

GefahrMaus

deltree *.* \y

AHH!

My buddy was having problems with a computer he'd had for 5 years and I told him to realign the fan by smacking the shit out of it until it stopped scratching.

he needed a new computer anyway

GefahrMaus

I once, circa 1999, advised a friend that before shipping back the gateway that had givin him so many problems, he should crack open the case and take a dump in it close it up and ship it back that way....


he probably shouldnt have taken my advice.

M.D.

Yea, opening the case voids the warranty.

tugga

i always wanted to go in the library early in the morning, set goatse as the wallpaper, turn the monitor off and leave

Ruckus

When I was in Grade 11 I took a computer hardware course, this course was taught by the schools woodworking teacher, who suffered a mental breakdown halfway through the year.

So you can guess how that went.

Wedge Biggs

Yeah, my father in law convinced my wife's gamer tower was slowing down due to viruses, and that the best anti virus is McAfee. I can't even delete it, since she just downloaded and paid for a non-CD version. So now she has to deal with pop ups, virus scans, and "Do you want to upgrade?" fucking up her WOW runs all the time. I could neuter the program suite so it doesn't do shit, but she has to learn her lesson. That and I want her to ask me to delete that version of corporate malware. btw, she didn't have any virii running amok betwixt her machine's nethers. Her fuckhead father had installed a jacked-up version of remote desktop on her machine so he could "diagnose her machine's problems" from home. Goddamn manpleaser.

Wedge Biggs

Ruckus wrote: »

When I was in Grade 11 I took a computer hardware course, this course was taught by the schools woodworking teacher, who suffered a mental breakdown halfway through the year.

So you can guess how that went.

Hand-lathed oak computer cases?

tugga

Ruckus wrote: »

When I was in Grade 11 I took a computer hardware course, this course was taught by the schools woodworking teacher, who suffered a mental breakdown halfway through the year.

So you can guess how that went.

We were gonna guess anyway, we didnt need your permission

Ruckus

You guys should make new threads about it, or perhaps use img tags to describe your feelings.

Whoops.

mcp

In high school, one of the teachers told me that the internet was slow on that day because more people than usual around the world were on the internet at that time.

She taught the beginning and "advanced" computer classes.

Octopus Melody

In high school I took some super easy computer class where you learned how to use MS Word or something. One day four computers had big signs on them saying not to touch them, they're out of order due to a virus. A friend of mine asked the teacher if he could mess with them since he knew something about computers. He discovered that each of them just had their mouse unplugged.

Wedge Biggs

Octopus Melody wrote: »

In high school I took some super easy computer class where you learned how to use MS Word or something. One day four computers had big signs on them saying not to touch them, they're out of order due to a virus. A friend of mine asked the teacher if he could mess with them since he knew something about computers. He discovered that each of them just had their mouse unplugged.

Remember how you'd go into the old computer labs and the mice had their balls removed? That was me.

potatoe

sudo rm -R /

Ruckus

Our school network admins had to enable AD group policies disabling the display properties because students kept trying to set their display to resolutions exceeding the monitor capabilities.

Grath

Wedge Biggs wrote: »

Remember how you'd go into the old computer labs and the mice had their balls removed? That was me.

I wouldn't remove the ball I'd just put tape around it so it still kinda worked but very poorly. I'm more into long term fucking with somebody.



one time somebody told me to check out this ctrl alt del comic, that was pretty bad computer related advice.. kinda.

Ruckus

Grath wrote: »

one time somebody told me to check out this ctrl alt del comic, that was pretty bad computer related advice.. kinda.

Same thing, but MegaTokyo.

Wedge Biggs

Ruckus wrote: »

Grath wrote: »

one time somebody told me to check out this ctrl alt del comic, that was pretty bad computer related advice.. kinda.

Same thing, but MegaTokyo.

You need new friends.

Ruckus

Wedge Biggs wrote: »

Ruckus wrote: »

Grath wrote: »

one time somebody told me to check out this ctrl alt del comic, that was pretty bad computer related advice.. kinda.

Same thing, but MegaTokyo.

You need new friends.

That was in highschool.

Like five or six years ago.

AHH!

When I was in a PC support class in high school the lead tech. dude, Mr. Wang, taught us, while holding a motherboard, that when you ship in hardware back to the company you need to make sure that it isn't working. He then promptly dropped the thing on to the tiled floor.

He was the man

Ruckus

AHH! wrote: »

When I was in a PC support class in high school the lead tech. dude, Mr. Wang, taught us, while holding a motherboard, that when you ship in hardware back to the company you need to make sure that it isn't working. He then promptly dropped the thing on to the tiled floor.

He was the man

Mine thought that you could attach a SCSI device to an IDE cable/bus if you had the right "Adapter".

mcp

One of the questions I had on a test in High School was to draw 3 examples of a smiley.

Lardalish

mcp wrote: »

One of the questions I had on a test in High School was to draw 3 examples of a smiley.

Internetting 101

Wedge Biggs

Ruckus wrote: »

AHH! wrote: »

When I was in a PC support class in high school the lead tech. dude, Mr. Wang, taught us, while holding a motherboard, that when you ship in hardware back to the company you need to make sure that it isn't working. He then promptly dropped the thing on to the tiled floor.

He was the man

Mine thought that you could attach a SCSI device to an IDE cable/bus if you had the right "Adapter".

http://shop.ily.com/C_134.htm

Ruckus

Wedge Biggs wrote: »

Ruckus wrote: »

AHH! wrote: »

When I was in a PC support class in high school the lead tech. dude, Mr. Wang, taught us, while holding a motherboard, that when you ship in hardware back to the company you need to make sure that it isn't working. He then promptly dropped the thing on to the tiled floor.

He was the man

Mine thought that you could attach a SCSI device to an IDE cable/bus if you had the right "Adapter".

http://shop.ily.com/C_134.htm

No, vice-versa, and learn to url n00b.

Xaquin

I remember when I was about 11 or 12 and computers were just getting into schools (well public ones) (big ass IBMs with their glorious beige cases and tiny monitors), my teacher told the class every day that you had to wait for the computer to turn off before turning off the monitor or the monitor would break.

Jordyn

mcp wrote: »

One of the questions I had on a test in High School was to draw 3 examples of a smiley.

hahahahaha, oh christ that's hilarious.

Ruckus

Jordyn wrote: »

mcp wrote: »

One of the questions I had on a test in High School was to draw 3 examples of a smiley.

hahahahaha, oh christ that's hilarious.

Does the "suckin dick" smiley count?

Jordyn

if it's frowning, does it count as a smiley?

redhead

internetologists like myself prefer the term emoticon, jordyn

we feel it's less biased toward the cheerful members of the family

Belruel

redhead wrote: »

internetologists like myself prefer the term emoticon, jordyn

we feel it's less biased toward the cheerful members of the family

i really like this post

The Geek

Ruckus wrote: »

Grath wrote: »

one time somebody told me to check out this ctrl alt del comic, that was pretty bad computer related advice.. kinda.

Same thing, but MegaTokyo.

EVEN MEGATOKYO?

mcp

Lardalish wrote: »

mcp wrote: »

One of the questions I had on a test in High School was to draw 3 examples of a smiley.

Internetting 101

It was actually the highest level computing class we had in my high school.

The teacher was a total fucking moron.

She had a teachers aide that she slobbered over as the smartest person ever when it came to computers. Took the dude an entire school year to build a computer. I'm not even sure how that's possible.

When I look at my high school education, I'm amazed that I'm not working at wal-mart or something.

redhead

Belruel wrote: »

redhead wrote: »

internetologists like myself prefer the term emoticon, jordyn

we feel it's less biased toward the cheerful members of the family

i really like this post

I try my best