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Psychotic Fucking Hatreds (Or Pony And Bel Should Fuck And Get It Over With)
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Registered User regular
Registered User regular
"I don't have pet peeves, I have psychotic fucking hatreds." - George Carlin
So, this is the thread where we bitch about small things that fly past pet peeve status and drive us totally bugshit.
I'll start, obviously. In no particular order. In list form.
1. People Who Quote Superbad Incessantly.
I am indeed aware that your back resides on your cock. You've quoted the whole fucking movie, I have no desire to see it now. I know like three of these people. And it's only gotten worse since the DVD release.
B. Seinfeld
My parents watch reruns during dinner. I want to skullfuck the entire cast until their brains are a pink viscous fluid. Especially George.
3. Dodge Trucks With The Logos On The Taillights
I have no idea why. I just want to take a bat to the motherfuckers.
4. Other People's Relationships
In the last two days, I've received 4 IMs, 2 phone calls, and a MySpace message so long and without paragraph breaks that it would put Stephen King to shame because one male friend fucked over a female friend. I don't care. It's not the end of the world that he stopped falling asleep on top of you so he could fall asleep on top of someone else. If I went through a divorce, you can get through a breakup of a three month relationship without tossing yourself off a cliff of despair. Listen to Shadow of the Day, cry, and cut yourself, just leave me out of it.
5. Old Navy
I hate your store, I hate your clothes, and above all else, I hate your fucking commercials.
Your turn.
So, this is the thread where we bitch about small things that fly past pet peeve status and drive us totally bugshit.
I'll start, obviously. In no particular order. In list form.
1. People Who Quote Superbad Incessantly.
I am indeed aware that your back resides on your cock. You've quoted the whole fucking movie, I have no desire to see it now. I know like three of these people. And it's only gotten worse since the DVD release.
B. Seinfeld
My parents watch reruns during dinner. I want to skullfuck the entire cast until their brains are a pink viscous fluid. Especially George.
3. Dodge Trucks With The Logos On The Taillights
I have no idea why. I just want to take a bat to the motherfuckers.
4. Other People's Relationships
In the last two days, I've received 4 IMs, 2 phone calls, and a MySpace message so long and without paragraph breaks that it would put Stephen King to shame because one male friend fucked over a female friend. I don't care. It's not the end of the world that he stopped falling asleep on top of you so he could fall asleep on top of someone else. If I went through a divorce, you can get through a breakup of a three month relationship without tossing yourself off a cliff of despair. Listen to Shadow of the Day, cry, and cut yourself, just leave me out of it.
5. Old Navy
I hate your store, I hate your clothes, and above all else, I hate your fucking commercials.
Your turn.
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You stole Skull Man's answer.
stay tuned to find out
I worked for RadioShack, briefly.
You learn to dread senior citizens. They either want hearing aid batteries, or a battery for a cordless phone. And when they learn they cordless phone battery isn't pre-charged, they totally lose their shit.
People with shitty taste in comedy.
I don't mean things like someone calling their friend "my nigga" or something like that, that's just language
I mean when I find out that someone genuinely believes race x is inferior to race y for no good reason it leaves me seriously pissed off at anyone and everyone nearby for a long time
Which is unfair to third parties, but oh well
Your and you're
To, too, and two
Let's not forget their, there, and they're.
I've lost count on the number of emails I've had to filter through where this has been the case. Honestly it makes me want to stab people. Repeatedly.
that's not even a sentence
edit oh right the thread I understand now
Hippies
PETA
The PTA
Any mindless drone that uses media as a scapegoat
Lack of personal responsibility
Madonna
High School Musical everything
Neckbeards
[______] fanboys....Apple, Star Wars, Linux, Nintendo
George Bush, 1 & 2
Religion
sheeple you forgot sheeple
Swearing doesn't make you funny.
Jordan of Elienor, Human Shaman
Why the hell do you close that cmd window when it says clearly all over the fucking place "DO NOT CLOSE THIS WINDOW EVER"
People that think intelligent design is a real and equally viable theory to evolution.
People that are racist, I just want to fucking punch them in the mouth so hard when they start going on about how this race is so this and this and this.
Ugh, the High School Musical shit is the worst. As is Hannah Montana, Bratz, Cheetah Girls, or any other of that horseshit plastered everywhere.
YES WE KNOW TO PAY ATTENTION WHILE DRIVING
YES WE KNOW NOT TO RUN IN THE HALLWAYS
WHY ARE PEOPLE PAYING YOU TO FORCE US TO THESE MEETINGS
At the gas station there was a line of people fifteen deep, being held up by an old woman and her mountain of lottery tickets and cigarettes and catfood. This woman seemed to glow with pride at the fact that she was creating such an inconvenience for everyone. It was probably her early Christmas.
listen, if you don't know me after two or three years of working under you, don't try to chat it up with me in an attempt to show Management Camaraderie With The Workers or some stupid bullshit that your superiors require from you, ESPECIALLY if you are an asshole and a shitty manager to begin with
aarrrrgh I hate my job sometimes
Run in the hallways?
Sheeple. That's fantastic
hi5
Or how about when they seemingly intentionally misspell your name
Like Zack, but everyone spells it Zach no matter how many times you correct them
we not only speak to baptist people tonight.
we not only speak to the methodist people tonight.
church of god or christ, catholic, or no particular denomination.
no particular city.
but tonight we speak to the whole nation
tonight our message:
drop the hate!
forgive each other!
drop the hate!
If you ever do this non-ironically, you are instantly relegated to subhuman status
I shit you not one manager at the last meeting suggested "mandating handrail use on stairs to reduce the incidence of Close Calls"
I was filled with stabbin' hate for the rest of the evening
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
some people are terrified of any sort of injury
i had some people like that in charge of the elementary school i went to
we weren't allowed to give hi-fives, just in case they went overboard
Tangent time about corporate safety bullshit.
I work for UPS in the early mornings either unloading trailers or loading the delivery trucks.
They pump safety when you first start. They have the retarded common sense shit, like the 8 Keys to Lifting and Lowering, which includes shit like "bend at your knees, not at the waist." They also have the 5 Steps, which basically instructs you how to walk properly to avoid injury. Read that again.
So, you have to know them inside and out, in order within two weeks. Fine, a monkey with Downs could do that. The problem is once the conveyor belts go on, safety flies out the window.
Case in point: With it being Christmas, we're busier than a one armed man at a Aurora Snow strip club appearance. Someone loading a truck noticed said truck had about a six inch gap between the dock and the tailgate of the truck. When he asked it to be moved closer, he was told they would get to it eventually.
So what happens? His foot slips while he's carrying a 70 pound package, and he falls sideways. Compound fracture of the tibia plus three cracked ribs from the package falling on him after he fell.
This was then deemed his fault because he did not follow one of the aforementioned 5 Steps, which is "observe your surroundings."
I
wow
(edit) And on that note, we're encouraged to call a stop work around here if there are unsafe conditions for working (doesn't really apply specifically to me since I'm a computer weenie, but more for the construction workers and engineers). To my reckoning, not one person has gotten away with that without a severe reprimanding, even if they called a stop because conditions were genuinely unsafe (and we're all notified by email after the fact when a Stop has been resolved, so it's not like I've missed any)
Anyway the point of my diatribes this morning is this: I hate managers and if I ever become one I want one of you to end me