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I got Franken-Balls.

13

Posts

  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    The guy describing it was also disgustingly good at describing what it was like; "I just knew my balls were dying". You know how they use docking rings to cut off the circulation to lamb's tails? Yeah.

  • DunlopezDunlopez Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Killjoy wrote: »
    And thank you immensely for telling us.

    the first one's always free.

    Why didn't you just make fun of me for praying for balls?

  • MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dunlopez wrote: »
    Killjoy wrote: »
    And thank you immensely for telling us.

    the first one's always free.

    Why didn't you just make fun of me for praying for balls?

    Because surprisingly, praying for balls is not nearly as retarded as coming here and talking about how huge your dick supposedly is.

    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    "Okay, you take 2d4 damage from the ogre's dick impaling your 2inch anus"
    Hey, Satan.
  • BasicBasic Registered User
    edited January 2008
    My balls feel good. :D

  • JivesJives Registered User
    edited January 2008
    I didn't know it was possible to get your balls twisted... i'm now terrified

  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i have to decide by midnight tonight if i want to surgery tomorrow, or perhaps wait until the summer.

    this is the hardest decision ever.

    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast
  • edited January 2008
    Jives wrote: »
    I didn't know it was possible to get your balls twisted... i'm now terrified

    It is one of those things that once you learn about you kind of never stop worrying about. Like blood clots traveling from your leg to your lungs or AIDS.

  • DunlopezDunlopez Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Marathon wrote: »
    Dunlopez wrote: »
    Killjoy wrote: »
    And thank you immensely for telling us.

    the first one's always free.

    Why didn't you just make fun of me for praying for balls?

    Because surprisingly, praying for balls is not nearly as retarded as coming here and talking about how huge your dick supposedly is.

    I said it could be an optical illusion, whether that means my dick is making my balls look small or my balls or making my dick look big is your decision.

    hur hur, I prayed for balls, not like that this guy's balls would get better, but like for balls, hur hur get it.

    also, i did pray for this guys balls thoughs; i hope everything works out.

    yeah, took me 4 hours to think all this up.

  • JyardanaJyardana Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Nogs wrote: »
    i have to decide by midnight tonight if i want to surgery tomorrow, or perhaps wait until the summer.

    this is the hardest decision ever.

    Get the surgery. I had it in 8th grade. It hurt so bad before hand that the pain was radiating all the way up my stomach and they initially thought I needed an appendectomy. Then they told me to drop my drawers, I brushed my sack and I gasped and threw up from the pain.

    Less than an hour later I was getting my balls stitched to my body so that they didn't twist again.

    spoilered for details
    Spoiler:

    PM me if you want full surgery and recovery details.

  • ZeroFillZeroFill Feeling much better. A nice, green leaf.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    suilimeA wrote: »
    Jives wrote: »
    I didn't know it was possible to get your balls twisted... i'm now terrified

    It is one of those things that once you learn about you kind of never stop worrying about. Like blood clots traveling from your leg to your lungs or AIDS.

    god yes

    ever since I heard about it anytime my balls hurt for any reason my heart starts racing

    if a quick adjustment can't rectify the problem I am taking my ass (and testicles) to the hospital

  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    Nogs wrote: »
    i have to decide by midnight tonight if i want to surgery tomorrow, or perhaps wait until the summer.

    this is the hardest decision ever.

    Don't fucking wait. That's an awful idea.

    2mong9u.jpg
  • ZeroFillZeroFill Feeling much better. A nice, green leaf.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    god what is that even a choice

    minor surgery or critical loss of balls

  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    I waited too long and whooops

    2mong9u.jpg
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Not tests. They were trying to kill it.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    save your balls, man

    they have done so much for you

  • JyardanaJyardana Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    And you can do so much more for them

  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    don't ask what your balls can do for you

    but what someone can do for your balls

    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • FreddyDFreddyD Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."
    "Warning: May contain nuts"

  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    FreddyD wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."
    "Warning: May contain nuts"

    So when you get surgery on like a leg, you have to write like "NOT THIS LEG"
    Will you have to do the same, Nogs?

    "NOT THIS BALL"

    nevillexmassig1.png
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    neville wrote: »
    FreddyD wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."
    "Warning: May contain nuts"

    So when you get surgery on like a leg, you have to write like "NOT THIS LEG"
    Will you have to do the same, Nogs?

    "NOT THIS BALL"

    probably draw a line down the middle of the sack with arrows pointing to the side that is supposed to go

    or be "de-balled" if you will

    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    my friend had testicular torsion

    apparently it hurts more after the surgery

    +./\ 50 ?. 50
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    Shit, no, it doesn't.

    Tell your friend he's a retard.

    2mong9u.jpg
  • sevencursessevencurses Registered User
    edited January 2008
    No. Not even right after. I mean, sure it didn't feel good but I wasn't wanting to die anymore. Didn't make me throw up from the pain either. Having the blood choked out of your balls hurts so much more than anything that went along with having the surgery.

    I like my women like I like my coffee: COVERED IN BEES...
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    That guy knows what's up.

    Touching the swollen balls is the worst pain oh God.

    2mong9u.jpg
  • DynagripDynagrip destroy everything you touch Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2008
    Has he lost his balls yet?

    gusinrepose.png
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    Maybe he's in hospital right now, who knows.

    2mong9u.jpg
  • TrexyTrexy Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Whats that website that was made for the Venture Brother's episode?

    Edit: It was called the Scrotal Safety Commission, but I can't find it for the life of me.

  • WeaverWeaver hut hut wut wutRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Hey check it I have bandwidth again

    ProfessionalandCommander_zps6c326307.jpg
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    Sup bandwidth

    2mong9u.jpg
  • WeaverWeaver hut hut wut wutRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    You know, just delivering these images to your screen

    ProfessionalandCommander_zps6c326307.jpg
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino legally competent Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    let's merge this and the twisted balls thread together for a testicular voltron.

    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger

    Yes, good idea Weaver. Give the person who's about to put sharp objects near your junk a case of the giggles.

    Raneados wrote: »
    so what SPECIFICALLY is the problem with my hole?
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i decided to have the surgery.

    i go in to the hospital in an hour and a half.

    nut surgery will commence around 2:30-3:00 central time.

    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast
  • ZeroFillZeroFill Feeling much better. A nice, green leaf.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Gentlemen, we can rebuild them. We have the technology.

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Not tests. They were trying to kill it.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    you totally messed that quote up Zero

    I'm so disappointed in you

  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino legally competent Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    good luck Nogs. make sure you get your balls from the pathology department afterwards!

    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User
    edited January 2008
    I'm a fan of my balls.

    They're doin pretty good today, especially considering how cold it is outside, and outside is where I work.

    I hope you do not lose your balls.

    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • ZeroFillZeroFill Feeling much better. A nice, green leaf.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    you totally messed that quote up Zero

    I'm so disappointed in you

    it's been a long time

    I fixed it

  • Darkblade_1Darkblade_1 __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    Hey hey let's go kenka suru

    Taisetsu na mono protect my balls!

    Boku ga warui so let's fighting...

    Let's fighting love! Let's fighting love!

    iveseenvivstits.gif
    You're drawn to my eccentric Brawl Code: 4596 9143 4529
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino legally competent Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Hey hey let's go kenka suru

    Taisetsu na mono protect my balls!

    Boku ga warui so let's fighting...

    Let's fighting love! Let's fighting love!
    Spoiler:

    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
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