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Somnambulate

2456

Posts

  • Dee KaeDee Kae Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    my method for sleep is:
    • lie down
    • go to sleep

    you should write a book.

    Dee Kae on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    for a long time i had to use a system to get to sleep

    i laid in a comfortable position, then started counting my exhales

    anytime i moved i started over

    it was pretty much a gaurantee that i wouldnt reach 100

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • ColdbrandColdbrand Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    It is a good thing working at Gamestop is such a fucking braindead activity.

    Sorry guys, I got all depressed again so I was watching videos about Angler Fish on Youtube instead of resting for work.

    Coldbrand on
  • BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Funny story relating to sleep problems.

    I went to my optician once, and he started doing a load of tests I'd never seen before. Naturally this caused me little alarm bells to start going off in the back of my head. Not major ones, but still. At the end of the eye exam, he looked at me and said in a slightly solemn manner, "There's something on your eye."

    What.

    "What kind of thing?", I ask.

    "I don't know."

    What.

    So he schedules a doctor's appointment for me in six months time (thank you, NHS!), throughout which I start to panick that I'm going to go blind or something. So the time finally passes, and I arrive at the doc's. He repeats the tests, finishes, and starts writing up a report.

    "So, uh, what's wrong with me?", I slowly enquire. He turns, looking slightly surprised at my curiousity.

    "Oh, it's nothing major. You just sleep with your eyes open, it's caused a part of your cornea to become over-exposed."

    What.

    So apparently I'm some kind of fucking elf. The doc's theory has been backed up by a few friends and exes who have indeed seen me sleep with my eyes open. Fucking hell.

    Burnage on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dee Kae wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    my method for sleep is:
    • lie down
    • go to sleep

    you should write a book.

    MELISSA

    Poorochondriac on
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I knew a girl whose eyelids were just too short for her to properly close her eyes.

    Janson on
  • ColdbrandColdbrand Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Burnage wrote: »
    Funny story relating to sleep problems.

    I went to my optician once, and he started doing a load of tests I'd never seen before. Naturally this caused me little alarm bells to start going off in the back of my head. Not major ones, but still. At the end of the eye exam, he looked at me and said in a slightly solemn manner, "There's something on your eye."

    What.

    "What kind of thing?", I ask.

    "I don't know."

    What.

    So he schedules a doctor's appointment for me in six months time (thank you, NHS!), throughout which I start to panick that I'm going to go blind or something. So the time finally passes, and I arrive at the doc's. He repeats the tests, finishes, and starts writing up a report.

    "So, uh, what's wrong with me?", I slowly enquire. He turns, looking slightly surprised at my curiousity.

    "Oh, it's nothing major. You just sleep with your eyes open, it's caused a part of your cornea to become over-exposed."

    What.

    So apparently I'm some kind of fucking elf. The doc's theory has been backed up by a few friends and exes who have indeed seen me sleep with my eyes open. Fucking hell.

    Hahaha, this story could only be better if it were being told by Pony, or another sociopath.

    Just staring them down with the cold eyes all night long.

    Coldbrand on
  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Burnage wrote: »

    So apparently I'm some kind of fucking elf. The doc's theory has been backed up by a few friends and exes who have indeed seen me sleep with my eyes open. Fucking hell.

    you mean demon right

    not elf

    evil spirit

    Seph on
    doit.png
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Burnage wrote: »
    Funny story relating to sleep problems.

    I went to my optician once, and he started doing a load of tests I'd never seen before. Naturally this caused me little alarm bells to start going off in the back of my head. Not major ones, but still. At the end of the eye exam, he looked at me and said in a slightly solemn manner, "There's something on your eye."

    What.

    "What kind of thing?", I ask.

    "I don't know."

    What.

    So he schedules a doctor's appointment for me in six months time (thank you, NHS!), throughout which I start to panick that I'm going to go blind or something. So the time finally passes, and I arrive at the doc's. He repeats the tests, finishes, and starts writing up a report.

    "So, uh, what's wrong with me?", I slowly enquire. He turns, looking slightly surprised at my curiousity.

    "Oh, it's nothing major. You just sleep with your eyes open, it's caused a part of your cornea to become over-exposed."

    What.

    So apparently I'm some kind of fucking elf. The doc's theory has been backed up by a few friends and exes who have indeed seen me sleep with my eyes open. Fucking hell.

    That is freaky.

    But that's the weird thing about sleep - anybody who sleeps differently from the way you sleep is viewed as weird. Because sleep is universal, so anybody who does so differently from you is, unavoidably, viewed as freakish. Something occurring on that wide a scale, you assume everybody must do it just like you do. Judging the macro scale on a micro system.

    Oh no, I sound like Suave. Noooooooooo!

    Oh shit, I am veering

    Poorochondriac on
  • ColdbrandColdbrand Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I'm curious Knob, have you too experienced the horrors of upper or lower body G.I.'s that Barium is on your list of enemies?

    Coldbrand on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Burnage wrote: »
    i sleep with my eyes open.

    last time i went to the eye doctor he told me that i am becomming so near-sighted that my eyes are so strectched that they should start tearing the corneas off the back of my eyes

    my eyes are tearing themselves apart

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    is that where your username comes from

    Seph on
    doit.png
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Seph wrote: »
    is that where your username comes from

    hahaha

    not quite yet

    he gave me a bunch of warning signs to watch for

    now if i see anything dark in my periphiral vision i get nervous

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I like how on that commercial for Lunesta or whatever they say "incidents of walking or driving in one's sleep while taking Lunesta with no memory of the event have been reported"

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Seph wrote: »
    is that where your username comes from

    hahaha

    not quite yet

    he gave me a bunch of warning signs to watch for

    now if i see anything dark in my periphiral vision i get nervous

    shadow people

    Seph on
    doit.png
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    I'm curious Knob, have you too experienced the horrors of upper or lower body G.I.'s that Barium is on your list of enemies?

    hell no i ain't ever had an assful of barium

    chardonnay, on the other hand

    ellipses

    Knob on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Seph wrote: »
    Seph wrote: »
    is that where your username comes from

    hahaha

    not quite yet

    he gave me a bunch of warning signs to watch for

    now if i see anything dark in my periphiral vision i get nervous

    shadow people

    ahhhh!!!

    fuck no

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Seph wrote: »
    Seph wrote: »
    is that where your username comes from

    hahaha

    not quite yet

    he gave me a bunch of warning signs to watch for

    now if i see anything dark in my periphiral vision i get nervous

    shadow people

    ahhhh!!!

    fuck no

    turn off all the lights and start lookin around real fast

    Seph on
    doit.png
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    if i turn off all the lights, it'll be awful hard to do the news

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • skinny87skinny87 Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    I'm curious Knob, have you too experienced the horrors of upper or lower body G.I.'s that Barium is on your list of enemies?

    hell no i ain't ever had an assful of barium

    chardonnay, on the other hand

    ellipses

    ...You've had champagne in your arse?

    skinny87 on
  • I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i have maaad insomnia

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    skinny87 wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    I'm curious Knob, have you too experienced the horrors of upper or lower body G.I.'s that Barium is on your list of enemies?

    hell no i ain't ever had an assful of barium

    chardonnay, on the other hand

    ellipses

    ...You've had champagne in your arse?

    fuckin classy

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    skinny87 wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    I'm curious Knob, have you too experienced the horrors of upper or lower body G.I.'s that Barium is on your list of enemies?

    hell no i ain't ever had an assful of barium

    chardonnay, on the other hand

    ellipses

    ...You've had champagne in your arse?

    who hasn't

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    does the fizz tingle

    Seph on
    doit.png
  • Agent VesagoAgent Vesago Half Iago. Half Fu Manchu. All Bastard. Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Burnage wrote: »
    Funny story relating to sleep problems.

    I went to my optician once, and he started doing a load of tests I'd never seen before. Naturally this caused me little alarm bells to start going off in the back of my head. Not major ones, but still. At the end of the eye exam, he looked at me and said in a slightly solemn manner, "There's something on your eye."

    What.

    "What kind of thing?", I ask.

    "I don't know."

    What.

    So he schedules a doctor's appointment for me in six months time (thank you, NHS!), throughout which I start to panick that I'm going to go blind or something. So the time finally passes, and I arrive at the doc's. He repeats the tests, finishes, and starts writing up a report.

    "So, uh, what's wrong with me?", I slowly enquire. He turns, looking slightly surprised at my curiousity.

    "Oh, it's nothing major. You just sleep with your eyes open, it's caused a part of your cornea to become over-exposed."

    What.

    So apparently I'm some kind of fucking elf. The doc's theory has been backed up by a few friends and exes who have indeed seen me sleep with my eyes open. Fucking hell.

    I sleep with my eyes half-open.

    Agent Vesago on
    Clowns.jpg
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Seph wrote: »
    does the fizz tingle

    does fire burn

    the answer to both of them is 'yes, and it feels good'

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Fallout wrote: »
    Seph wrote: »
    does the fizz tingle

    does fire burn

    the answer to both of them is 'yes, and it feels good'

    I am laughing so hard right now.

    people are staring at me. Thanks alot.

    BoredGamer on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    BoredGamer wrote: »
    Fallout wrote: »
    Seph wrote: »
    does the fizz tingle

    does fire burn

    the answer to both of them is 'yes, and it feels good'

    I am laughing so hard right now.

    people are staring at me. Thanks alot.

    mission accomplished

    now, let me show you how to remove the cork from a wine bottle with only your rectum

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • telcustelcus Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Fallout wrote: »
    BoredGamer wrote: »
    Fallout wrote: »
    Seph wrote: »
    does the fizz tingle

    does fire burn

    the answer to both of them is 'yes, and it feels good'

    I am laughing so hard right now.

    people are staring at me. Thanks alot.

    mission accomplished

    now, let me show you how to remove the cork from a wine bottle with only your rectum

    Now that's a party trick!

    telcus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i think i would still perfer the method of opening a champagne bottle via whacking it with a sword

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    telcus wrote: »
    Fallout wrote: »
    BoredGamer wrote: »
    Fallout wrote: »
    Seph wrote: »
    does the fizz tingle

    does fire burn

    the answer to both of them is 'yes, and it feels good'

    I am laughing so hard right now.

    people are staring at me. Thanks alot.

    mission accomplished

    now, let me show you how to remove the cork from a wine bottle with only your rectum

    Now that's a party trick!

    well I wouldn't do it without an audience

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i think i would still perfer the method of opening a champagne bottle via whacking it with a sword

    I saw that done more than once still the broken blade and shards of glass everywhere was a bad roll done by the waiter.

    Brainleech on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Brainleech wrote: »
    i think i would still perfer the method of opening a champagne bottle via whacking it with a sword

    I saw that done more than once still the broken blade and shards of glass everywhere was a bad roll done by the waiter.

    still looks cool

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    one guy clenches a bottle of champagne in his ass and another guy clenches on the handle of a sword

    best of both

    Knob on
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    one guy clenches a bottle of champagne in his ass and another guy clenches on the handle of a sword

    best of both

    I imagine that would be quite hard to swing the sword.


    I mean.....Like almost impossible.

    BoredGamer on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    one guy clenches a bottle of champagne in his ass and another guy clenches on the handle of a sword

    best of both

    you are a delight

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    BoredGamer wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    one guy clenches a bottle of champagne in his ass and another guy clenches on the handle of a sword

    best of both

    I imagine that would be quite hard to swing the sword.


    I mean.....Like almost impossible.

    strong hips

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    BoredGamer wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    one guy clenches a bottle of champagne in his ass and another guy clenches on the handle of a sword

    best of both

    I imagine that would be quite hard to swing the sword.


    I mean.....Like almost impossible.

    you just have to swing your hips

    Knob on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    BoredGamer wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    one guy clenches a bottle of champagne in his ass and another guy clenches on the handle of a sword

    best of both

    I imagine that would be quite hard to swing the sword.


    I mean.....Like almost impossible.

    you just have to swing your hips

    although i feel bad for the guy who has to hold the bottle

    that means he has to go big end in first

    thats gonna be rough

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i am laughing right now because son of a bitch if every thread here doesn't end up with sticking things in the ass

    it's hilariously ludicrous

    Seph on
    doit.png
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