John Grisham wants to read YOUR short stories.

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For $5. And he'll only look at 2 of them.

A local paper is running a short story contest that will be judged by Grisham with a $700 grand prize.

Rules:
-They need physical copies of stories, no faxes or e-mails
-short stories under 3,500 words that have not been published either in print or electronically.
-"please make sure it has conflict, dialogue, action, and resolution. Mr. Grisham does not want to read essays, memoirs, and slices of life. He will not read cover letters."

Oh, for the chance to make him read something truly terrible in retribution...

Zsetrek

John MarkDeAngello, Esq., turned violently on the spot, his pinstripe suit flapping dramatically in the air-conditioned air.
"No, Mr Johnstonstone, I put it to you that you are in fact guilty of third-degree murder most foul!"
Johnstonstone slicked back his once-neat hair and looking imploringly at the judge, sweat trickling down his neck.
"Objection," he said pleadingly.
John MarkDeAngello's eyes narrowed. "Not in my court." There was a dramatic pause. "My court..." he shouted, throwing his arms in the air, "of justice!"

Hoz

Is that from a John Grisham novel? Because that is hilariously awful.

Zsetrek

It is from the dark recesses of a burnt-out law student's mind.

Smug Duckling

Zsetrek wrote: »

John MarkDeAngello, Esq., turned violently on the spot, his pinstripe suit flapping dramatically in the air-conditioned air.
"No, Mr Johnstonstone, I put it to you that you are in fact guilty of third-degree murder most foul!"
Johnstonstone slicked back his once-neat hair and looking imploringly at the judge, sweat trickling down his neck.
"Objection," he said pleadingly.
John MarkDeAngello's eyes narrowed. "Not in my court." There was a dramatic pause. "My court..." he shouted, throwing his arms in the air, "of justice!"

That is wonderful.

I'd be really interested to see the story that wins this contest, just to see what John Grisham thinks is quality writing.

Goo

Oh

My.

Something Witty

Did John Grisham actually write that? Dear God. I've only read one of his books and I don't think I caught anything quite that awefull.

Goo

I... I don't think he did.

Houk

He didn't, but good lord do I wish he had. I would read every one of his books if they were like that.

DeI2anGeD

An actual Grisham quote:

The face of Nicholas Easter was slightly hidden by a display rack filled with slim cordless phones, and he was looking not directly at the hidden camera but somewhere off to the left, perhaps at a customer, or perhaps at a counter where a group of kids hovered over the latest electronic games from Asia. Though taken from a distance of forty yards by a man dodging rather heavy mall foot traffic, the photo was clear and revealed a nice face, clean-shaven with strong features and boyish good looks. Easter was twenty-seven, they knew that for a fact. No eyeglasses. No nose ring or weird haircut. Nothing to indicate he was one of the usual computer nerds who worked in the store at five bucks an hour. His questionnaire said he'd been there for four months, said also that he was a part-time student, though no record of enrollment had been found at any college within three hundred miles. He was lying about this, they were certain.

From The Runaway Jury.

I agree with Houk though, although I wouldn't read Grisham, I would totally read the saga of John MarkDeAngello.

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He judged a contest for the same paper last year, but I'm too lazy to look for the winner online.

I think that it was something about a potato cannon.

MEGA MEGA PANZER POPE SAN

I guess if you're a famous author you can do whatever you like to amuse yourself, AND get paid for it. It would be pretty funny to screw with this.

Muncie

Someone needs to submit Grisham / Clancy slash fic.