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POSTAL the Movie - The Trailerening

Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer NipplesThe EchidnaRegistered User regular
edited May 2008 in Games and Technology
Browsing Kotaku just now, I saw that there Uwe Boll movie POSTAL had a trailer up I hadn't seen before. And watching it, it actually wasn't terrible. Or at least, it wasn't any worse than what I would expect for a movie based on POSTAL the game. It looks about on par with any other really cheesy parody movie, with a lot of recycled jokes and obvious set-ups, and monkeys, but I'd probably go see it at a $3 theater or something. Plus it has Dave Foley being Dave Foley, which I love. And it sure as hell can't be any worse than his latest ITNotK:ADST.

I didn't see anyone peeing though, which might be a deal-breaker for some people.




POSTAL!

Houk the Namebringer on
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    NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Problem is, I don't think Boll thought of it as a parody.

    Nocren on
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    aspaaspa Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Man, I read this as PORTAL the Movie and almost managed to convince myself how such a movie could work before I saw Uwe Boll in the OP and went D:

    aspa on
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    We can only hope and pray that Boll never gets it in his crazy mind to do a Portal movie.

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Man, there's nothing I enjoy more than watching someone without talent trying SO HARD to be offensive that he winds up being annoying/tedious instead.

    What's that? This is an entire movie based on that? Hooray!

    cloudeagle on
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    SponkSponk boglinus minimus Houston, TXRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    He actually showed the trailer and the first few minutes of the movie when he made his suprise appearance at PAX. I'll admit it, I laughed a couple times. Still don't think I'll go hunt down a copy to watch for myself but if it's on late night TV at some point I'd probably watch some out of sheer curiosity.

    Sponk on
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    CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    This looks alot like something from the Date Movie/Epic Movie/Not Another Teen movie vein. They might as well name it Offensive Movie and cast Carlos Mencia for the starring role.

    Crashmo on
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    AccualtAccualt Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Crashmo wrote: »
    This looks alot like something from the Date Movie/Epic Movie/Not Another Teen movie vein. They might as well name it Offensive Movie and cast Carlos Mencia for the starring role.

    Yes! Anything to further the end of Carlos Mencia's career I will support.

    Accualt on
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    urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Carlos Mencia is a hack, and shouldn't be alive (or in comedy for the matter).

    urahonky on
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    SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2008
    This actually looks better than the game.

    It's quite possibly Bolls finest work yet.

    Szechuanosaurus on
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    cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    urahonky wrote: »
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Carlos Mencia is a hack, and shouldn't be alive (or in comedy for the matter).

    You're far from alone. That dude annoys the crap out of me. He, like Family Guy and apparently this movie, mistakenly think that offensive = funny. No. You have to work at it, do something creative or meaningful or, y'know, funny, like South Park does most of the time. Just making it loud and obnoxious does not make it funny.

    cloudeagle on
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    Nova_CNova_C I have the need The need for speedRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I remember watching the original trailer with the guys in the plane talking about how many virgins they were gonna get and was interested. After watching that trailer, I actually want to see that movie and I've never said that about a Boll movie before.

    Nova_C on
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    BasticleBasticle Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    the brokeback joke made me laugh out loud but that was it

    Basticle on
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    OverlordOverlord Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I might actually see this. Only because itll suck so much itll hopefully loop around.

    Overlord on
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    PatboyXPatboyX Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dave Foley?!??!?!
    How can this be?
    I may need to see this movie.

    Edit: on the subject of Mencia, I think Joe Rogan has devoted quite a bit of his website to exposing him as a fraud and a hack. Mencia seems to think that a dirty word (or in his case, ethnic slur) is a punch line. Stupid.

    PatboyX on
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    GreeperGreeper Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Ughhhh. Why does Uwe Boll exist to create awful movies?

    Greeper on
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I fully embrace the hatred of Mencia. I'm pretty sure that when Dave Chapelle had his meltdown or whatever, Comedy Central decided they needed someone else to take the mantle of 'edgy ethnic comedian'. Except they never figured out that Dave Chapelle can be funny, while Mencia is a pile of shit.

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    AhhseeAhhsee Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I don't think Mencia did, or ever will get a check for $50 million for a season of his shows...

    Ahhsee on
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    AccualtAccualt Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    After watching the trailer I've got to say...throwing a midget in a giant room filled with monkies in various Halloween outfits has the potential to save any movie.

    Accualt on
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    DashuiDashui Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Except the writer is the same guy who wrote Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, Bloodrayne 2, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (could that be any longer?), and House of the Dead. He's basically the writer for all of Uwe Boll's atrocities. Uwe Boll also has a hand in the writing process.

    Really, with who is involved and writing it, I don't see how it could end up being a very funny two hour movie.

    And yes, Mencia is a fucking hack and not very funny. How many times is he going to go "dee dee dee"? Is that his only punch line? And he needs to stop steeling material from other people.

    Dashui on
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    Bionic MonkeyBionic Monkey Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2008
    Sponk wrote: »
    He actually showed the trailer and the first few minutes of the movie when he made his suprise appearance at PAX. I'll admit it, I laughed a couple times. Still don't think I'll go hunt down a copy to watch for myself but if it's on late night TV at some point I'd probably watch some out of sheer curiosity.

    I'll throw it on my Netflix queue. I figure the few cents my $17 averages out to between all the movies I watch in a month is worth getting his movies. I've already seen House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne. (Yes, I hate myself.)

    Bionic Monkey on
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    CylaranaCylarana Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I saw Bloodrayne in theaters. I will never again subject my retinas and my mind to the bile that is a Boll movie. EVER.

    Cylarana on
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    Crashmo wrote: »
    This looks alot like something from the Date Movie/Epic Movie/Not Another Teen movie vein. They might as well name it Offensive Movie and cast Carlos Mencia for the starring role.
    It can't something from them because they were busy shitting out this in a span of three months tops.

    Sterica on
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    Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I'd rent this. RETURN: Carlos Mencia is a horrible "comedian" and should be put off the air. And if they need to, use his organs to bring back Bill Hicks. RETURN: Not Another Teen Movie was actually decent, though. RETURN: Sorry it says return so much, my enter key is not working currently. Need to figure that out.

    Gorilla Salad on
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dashui wrote: »
    Except the writer is the same guy who wrote Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, Bloodrayne 2, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (could that be any longer?), and House of the Dead. He's basically the writer for all of Uwe Boll's atrocities. Uwe Boll also has a hand in the writing process.

    Really, with who is involved and writing it, I don't see how it could end up being a very funny two hour movie.
    The only thing I can say (and I'm not defending, believe me) is that they've never actually attempted (intentional) humor, so the writer might just have some amount of talent there, even if he can't handle horror or action.

    Still, no way will I be paying full price for this.

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    themocawthemocaw Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    When Verne Troyer is phoning in a performance, then the movie's basically unsalvageable. Seriously, watch him say the line, "oh no, not the monkeys." He sounds so deadpan.

    And this is the guy who made a mute role like mini-me awesome.

    themocaw on
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    MEGA MEGA PANZER POPE SANMEGA MEGA PANZER POPE SAN Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    themocaw wrote: »
    When Verne Troyer is phoning in a performance, then the movie's basically unsalvageable. Seriously, watch him say the line, "oh no, not the monkeys." He sounds so deadpan.

    And this is the guy who made a mute role like mini-me awesome.

    It looks kind of funny, but you're right about Verne Troyer looking tremendously unmotivated.

    MEGA MEGA PANZER POPE SAN on
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    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    MEGA MEGA PANZER POPE SAN wrote: »
    themocaw wrote: »
    When Verne Troyer is phoning in a performance, then the movie's basically unsalvageable. Seriously, watch him say the line, "oh no, not the monkeys." He sounds so deadpan.

    And this is the guy who made a mute role like mini-me awesome.

    It looks kind of funny, but you're right about Verne Troyer looking tremendously unmotivated.

    He's in an Uwe Boll movie. He knows he's just there for the money.

    shryke on
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    RemingtonRemington Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    It does look about on par with all the other "spoof" movies out there (which is to say it looks bad).

    But at the same time, it looks like a huge step up for a Uwe Boll movie.

    Remington on
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    PompaPompa Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Cylarana wrote: »
    I saw Bloodrayne in theaters. I will never again subject my retinas and my mind to the bile that is a Boll movie. EVER.

    man, just the mention of bloodrayne still reminds me of Jazz. does anyone know if he still posts here? i always wonderd what he thought of Uwe Boll's attempt at bring his favorite character to the big screen.

    Pompa on
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    RoshinRoshin My backlog can be seen from space SwedenRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Bit torrent was made for movies like this.

    Roshin on
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Remington wrote: »
    It does look about on par with all the other "spoof" movies out there (which is to say it looks bad).

    But at the same time, it looks like a huge step up for a Uwe Boll movie.
    That's basically what I was thinking. It looks like a bad movie, sure, but it also looks like a real movie. Watching trailers for his other stuff literally looks like someone's joke version of a movie. But this could realistically stand next to the other shitty parody movies (which do surprisingly well) without looking out of place.

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Houk wrote: »
    Remington wrote: »
    It does look about on par with all the other "spoof" movies out there (which is to say it looks bad).

    But at the same time, it looks like a huge step up for a Uwe Boll movie.
    That's basically what I was thinking. It looks like a bad movie, sure, but it also looks like a real movie. Watching trailers for his other stuff literally looks like someone's joke version of a movie. But this could realistically stand next to the other shitty parody movies (which do surprisingly well) without looking out of place.

    I think that says more about the other shitty parody movies than it does Postal.

    cloudeagle on
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    Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I'm fairly sure if anyone pays for this movie they are committing a war crime

    Bloods End on
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    PieManPieMan Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I... I kinda liked the trailer to this?! I hate uwe boll and was never really into the postal games, but it looks fairly.. tongue in cheek. Then again, I did like the trailer to dead or alive, so I'm not sure how worthwhile my opinion is.

    PieMan on
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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited January 2008
    I've never seen any of his films, but I think Uwe Boll is a rocking cool dude. If it comes into my video store I might rent this, but more likely to watch it if it gets picked up on TV.

    Tube on
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    TyrantCowTyrantCow Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I loved Boll's comment at PAX...

    Along the lines of, "Dave said he wouldn't do it unless he got to be naked."

    TyrantCow on
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    PatboyXPatboyX Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    TyrantCow wrote: »
    I loved Boll's comment at PAX...

    Along the lines of, "Dave said he wouldn't do it unless he got to be naked."

    Well now I have to see it.

    PatboyX on
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    slash000slash000 Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Well, at least the premise is supposed to be completely fucking stupid. That way, when the movie comes out and is completely fucking stupid, it won't be as inherently bad as say, fucking up something that supposed to be more serious.

    slash000 on
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    CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    slash000 wrote: »
    Well, at least the premise is supposed to be completely fucking stupid. That way, when the movie comes out and is completely fucking stupid, it won't be as inherently bad as say, fucking up something that supposed to be more serious.

    Like every single other one of his movies.

    You know, I think alot of us will end up seeing this, knowing full well how terrible it is going to be. But we're going to see it, because it's Postal, and it's Uwe Boll, and it's Dave Foley full frontal.

    Crashmo on
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    slash000slash000 Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    What I meant was, at least this movie is meant to be a comedy, so it's meant for people to laugh at it. It's source material is not serious, and is kind of satiric and self deprecating. His other VG movies like Alone in the Dark, the Blood Raynes, and the Dungeon Siege movies weren't meant to be comedies, and their source material wasn't meant to be funny or satiric or self deprecating.

    Since Postal is a joke to begin with, it will matter less that this whole movie is going to be a joke, both intentionally and unintentionally, because he's not even trying to work with something more serious, since this is a cheesey comedy.

    slash000 on
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