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Adopted an adult cat and he hates me. How to help him adjust?
Lukin
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey all,
A week ago I adopted an adult cat. Maybe "inherited" is a better word. This cat lived with a single guy for a few years, he got married and the girl's allergic to the cat, so he had to go. He's five years old, an indoor cat, he's been declawed, and from what I've been told he's very affectionate.
When he arrived I expected him to hide for a couple days, but this guy's done nothing BUT hide. The first day he got here he disappeared, and I didn't know where he was. I was doing some laundry and he flew out from behind the dryer. I'm sure that didn't do much to calm his nerves.
He's eating, drinking, and using the litter box, but he's always in flight mode. You know that thing cats do, keep their hips really low to the ground, move really slowly until they've gotten the lay of the land, and then dart away.
Since the washing machine incident, I've kept the door to that room closed (which is a drag because that's where I planned on keeping the litter). I've discovered another one of his hiding places; the space between my office desk and the wall. He crams himself face-first into the corner, which really can't be comfortable. I think now I'm going to keep the door to my office closed now too. Is that a smart thing to do? Close off his hiding places so he can't help but be sociable? I'm worried that this will backfire, and he'll try harder to hide in what's available, and end up getting hurt or stuck somewhere.
How much time does a cat generally need to adjust to not only new surroundings, but a new person as well?
I know the rule here with a cat thread is to post pics, but I haven't been able to take any... As soon as he chills out, I'll be sure to comply.
A week ago I adopted an adult cat. Maybe "inherited" is a better word. This cat lived with a single guy for a few years, he got married and the girl's allergic to the cat, so he had to go. He's five years old, an indoor cat, he's been declawed, and from what I've been told he's very affectionate.
When he arrived I expected him to hide for a couple days, but this guy's done nothing BUT hide. The first day he got here he disappeared, and I didn't know where he was. I was doing some laundry and he flew out from behind the dryer. I'm sure that didn't do much to calm his nerves.
He's eating, drinking, and using the litter box, but he's always in flight mode. You know that thing cats do, keep their hips really low to the ground, move really slowly until they've gotten the lay of the land, and then dart away.
Since the washing machine incident, I've kept the door to that room closed (which is a drag because that's where I planned on keeping the litter). I've discovered another one of his hiding places; the space between my office desk and the wall. He crams himself face-first into the corner, which really can't be comfortable. I think now I'm going to keep the door to my office closed now too. Is that a smart thing to do? Close off his hiding places so he can't help but be sociable? I'm worried that this will backfire, and he'll try harder to hide in what's available, and end up getting hurt or stuck somewhere.
How much time does a cat generally need to adjust to not only new surroundings, but a new person as well?
I know the rule here with a cat thread is to post pics, but I haven't been able to take any... As soon as he chills out, I'll be sure to comply.
Lukin on
This discussion has been closed.
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In any case, you might have to deal with that fact that it might NEVER adjust. You're lucky it uses the litter box - I love *good* cats, but a lot of animals are just feral/not fit for living with humans, for some reason. The fact it liked the other guy is a good sign, but it's possible it never had any company other than him, or anyone other than him was mean to it, so all other humans are enemies to it. It might stay that way for a long, long time.
Give him somewhere safe to be, though - Billy (parent's cat) likes hiding in a closet in the bathroom, and spent a lot of time there at first before starting to venture out more. Its high up and fairly enclosed, and also full of soft things, so he liked it. Don't make him feel hunted in his home.
there's no quick-fire one-day thing to make it trust you
if it knows you're the one feeding it, that helps, like if it sees/hears you opening cans/whatever
cat treats and catnip are also good ways to get a scared cat out into the open for at least a little time, then you can slowly let it adjust to you, like you sitting watching TV while a cat treat is on the floor, the cat might come out and take it if it's not too close to you
then you can progressively just wean the cat to you
Leave the doors open, let it hide and adjust to your place. It's just been through one of the most shocking transitions of it's life.
When he does come out, don't move toward him or anything like that, just continue whatever you were doing and let him get used to the fact that you're not going to lunge at him. Don't stare at him either, because cats usually read that as aggressive. Glance at him, maybe say "Hello" in a calm voice, and go back to your previous activity. He's been kicked out of the only family he's ever known, so he'll be skittish for awhile, but eventually he should come around.
She took to me instantly, but she was very shy towards other people in the beginning and bolted for that box as soon as I had company. Now she has no problems with other people after the first "halp halp humanz invading mah spaces!" shock when people arrive.
Spare Scrolls for trade
I know whenever I've moved, the cats are always freaked out until they start to recognize the furniture.
Fae, the one that hates me, will hiss if I walk too closely past her. If she's in the bedroom and I come in to talk to my girlfriend she will complain vocally as soon as I start to speak. If she's on the far side of a very large couch and I sit down, she will growl. Yes, cats sometimes growl.
Of course, it helps my ego that it's not just me, this cat hates everything that's alive and not my girlfriend. You've never seen such a mean, unpleasant animal.
That's a cat that hates someone.
Your cat is just scared and trying to adjust to new surroundings. Give it time and it'll get sorted out. Don't be too aggressive towards the cat or chase it around or yell at it though.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
Good luck.
I've tried the treats thing. He's interested by the smell, but he won't eat them. Last night he was poking his head out from behind the fridge and did a little meow (the first vocalization he's made since being here, if that means anything) when I passed by. I grabbed some treats and extended my hand toward him, and he came out, smelled it, then backed off. I left the treats on the floor and left. Eventually the cat came out from behind the fridge but ignored the treats. I wonder if he'll start to associate the smell of tasty treats with this big ugly human that he doesn't trust.
The previous owner had the "familiar smells" thought, and he let me have a mat that the cat slept on. In his new environment, the cat won't go near it which seems kinda weird to me.
Look into Feliway - I prefer the diffuser to the spray, because I can plug it in and forget about it. The spray may be more appropriate for you, depending on your living environment. It's available in some pet stores - I can't remember the cost as it's been a while, however I'm sure it was below $50.
On day 2, we walled off a section of the house, the laundry room. We taped it up so that even though he could see beyond it if he peeked through the holes, he didn't feel like there was anything over there if he simply ran by. We then sat in there all night.
I simply read my homework books for grad school after work, which put me back there on a pillow for a good 2, 3 hours. Then my wife would come home and I'd cook up some dinner and she'd sit back there reading something. We read so that we didn't make eye contact with him. He pretty quickly understood that we were friendly, and he started playing with us. We'd bat a bottle cap around and he'd start pouncing on it. We were pretty happy when he started to come out of his shell.
After 2 days of that, he was starting to get curious about the rest of the house and seemed pretty confident. So we moved the "wall" back a room, so he had the laundry room and the kitchen. He was a little scared of all the new open space, but it still smelled like us so he was scared but exploring. The next day we opened up the entire downstairs, and he was an entirely different cat compared to day 1 -- he was following us around, running between rooms, and generally really happy. On day 1 he saw how much open space he had and freaked out.
Cat #2, around thanksgiving, stayed in our bedroom for about 3 days, and he chose to sleep between our pillows at night. He acclimated much sooner since we started him off on the right foot.
I'd suggest making a room "his" and spending a lot of time in there. That way he can explore the space without being overwhelmed, get used to your smells, and you shouldn't try to interact with him. Just be in there, using a computer or reading a book. Sit on a pillow so you're on the same level he is, rather than towering over him. It'll probably be pretty boring for you, actively ignoring the cat, but it's a good way to get them to recognize you as a "good guy."
An adult cat can take upwards of a month to adjust to a new space, let alone a new owner. If he was a friendly cat before, he'll probably take to you quickly. Don't force your presence on him, and interact with him slowly for starters. For instance, it's a lot of fun to pick a cat up and rub their chins, but it's a very high level of trust for a cat. Forcing them to do it is a good way to piss one off
After he got over hiding, he's totally my favorite
"There is not a man of us who does not at times need a helping hand to be stretched out to him, and then shame upon him who will not stretch out the helping hand to his brother."
Nocren: I don't think he was washed, but I do know that he was shaved recently. Who would shave a cat? Apparently these people would take this cat to a groomer twice a year and have his body shaved. Judging by the fur on his head and tail (which I was told was not shaved), he is not particularly long-haired. Maybe they just couldn't get down with brushing and they shaved him to cut down on shedding.
Beef: It's like he wants it, but he won't eat it out of spite. It's funny in a frustrating way.
Fem and Happy: I'll look into that, thanks.
Late late last night, he sat up on my stairs and watched me for a good half hour. I didn't really acknowledge or look in his direction to give him control. I had hoped that would help him get comfortable, but he has spent literally all day today behind the fridge. I can't resist calling out to him and poking my head back there from time to time.
Cats really hate change but if you're patient and kind towards him, he'll respond eventually. He's just scared.
Edit: Try to add food to his bowl when he can see you, cats approve of people who feed them.
That said, make a safe hiding place for him. Cats like to be up high where they can see everything, but at the same time feel like no one can see them. Failing that, they'll go somewhere that no one can see them or get to them. Find a good place for him to hide, and stick some bedding in there. If you do a good job, he will likely never hide anywhere else.
One of them became the quickest-to-purr cat I have ever seen (and I've seen a lot of cats) in a few months, the other has been with us for years and years, and still basically has PTSD, and periodically hates the entire world, until it gets too cold outside.
Just be patient with them. They'll usually come around sooner than later, though you may get the occasional scratch now and then no matter how much they come to trust you.
Just make sure you never blame the cat. They can't help being afraid.
Confine the cat to one room of the house, preferably the room that has the cat box (teaches the cat where the litter box is at all times). Since the cat is in a new environment, its probably pretty freaked. Keep the cat there and give it plenty of food and water. Then slowly start letting the cat out supervised (I know that catching the cat may be a problem, but if it feels safe in the room with the box it should go straight there if you try). You need to give the cat a couple weeks to get used to being in a new place. Soon the cat will start to seek you out for attention. After that the cat can be let loose in the house.
My mother founded a cat rescue and this is the standard practice for bringing a new cat home(even if you have other cats) and is in no way bad for the cat.
Hope this helps.
It hasn't yet worked for me, after 2 weeks (hiding cat). But it apparently has for others.
Thanks
The rest of the advice in the thread is good so just wanted to add that tidbit.
@Ceres
EDIT: I would use the report but it doesn't work on my work PC for some reason.