Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!
This is my first attempt at writing comedy (it's quite short). C&C of course welcome; it will help me improve.
Warning! There are jokes about Jesus here, so if you're easily offended by that, I don't recommend you read it.
Who was Jesus? Healing the blind and preaching is not a full-time job, so what was Jesus up to when he was not touching kids or holding Sunday-morning sermons? After years of thorough research, I have come to a few hypotheses:
1. Jesus was a quarterback. The 12 apostles were his teammates, with Judas being the slot receiver who was beginning to get irritated because he rarely got a pass thrown to him. His team was undefeated, of course. He was the best of the best; performing miracle plays and gaining many pass yards with his original play, the Hail Mary. Even when facing a tough opposing team, Jesus was famous for making unlikely comebacks in the final quarter. The "Last Supper" was actually a pre-game huddle.
2. Jesus was a superhero. Not a very good one, though. For being God's son, he sure did lack fancy supernatural powers. I guess ultimate power is not hereditary. Anyways, if Jesus was in fact a superhero, it did not last for long. I mean, most criminals just do not get scared away by nail guns and measuring tape.
3. Jesus was a home-makeover-reality-TV-show host. The show, named "Holy Eye for the Straight Guy," was short-lived due to a loss of ratings because of Moses' televised money-management seminars, which were in the same time slot. Possibly the biggest evidence supporting the fact that this was Jesus' career is an entry in the diary of one of the Roman guards observing Jesus' crucifixion. It reads, "With his last breath of life, he turned his head to me, and said, 'I would've gone with the dark oak stain for the cross, and it could definitely use some drapes.'"