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Totally Badass Speeches That Rock You

TalonrazorTalonrazor Registered User regular
edited February 2008 in Social Entropy++
Speeches can be pretty badass, guys. Here's an example of a badass speech, as said by Joshua Lawerence Chamberlain in the movie Gods and Generals. It is about Caesar crossing the Rubicon and Chamberlain said it just before his unit marched into the horrific battle at Fredericksburg.
In the Roman civil war, Julius Caesar knew he had to march on Rome itself, which no legion was permitted to do. Marcus Lucanus left us a chronicle of what happened:

"How swiftly Caesar had surmounted the icy Alps and in his mind conceived immense upheavals, coming war. When he reached the water of the Little Rubicon, clearly to the leader through the murky night appeared a mighty image of his country in distress, grief in her face, her white hair streaming from her tower-crowned head, with tresses torn and shoulders bare she stood before him, and sighing said:

'Where further do you march? Where do you take my standards, warriors? If lawfully you come, if as citizens, this far only is allowed.'

Then trembling struck the leader's limbs; his hair grew stiff and weakness checked his progress, holding his feet at the river's edge. At last he speaks:

'O Thunderer, surveying great Rome's walls from the Tarpeian Rock --

'O Phrygian house gods of Iulus, clan and mysteries of Quirinus who was carried off to heaven --

'O Jupiter of Latium, seated in lofty Alba and hearths of Vesta --

'O Rome, equal to the highest deity, favor my plans.

Not with impious weapons do I pursue you. Here am I, Caesar, conqueror of land and sea, your own soldier, everywhere, now, too, if I am permitted. The man who makes me your enemy -- it is he who be the guilty one.'

Then he broke the barriers of war and through the swollen river swiftly took his standards. And Caesar crossed the flood and reached the opposite bank. From Hesperia's forbidden fields he took his stand and said:

'Here I abandon peace and desecrated law.

Fortune, it is you I follow.

Farewell to treaties.

From now on war is our judge.'"

Hail, Caesar: We who are about to die salute you.

This is a badass speech. What are your favorite badass speeches that cause you to thump your chests and stamp your feet?

EDIT: Fucking copy-paste comic sans bullshits

Talonrazor on
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Posts

  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    the hell is this font

    m6eoUgQ.jpg
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited February 2008
    basically anything by that hitler guy

  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    GENERAL PICKETT, LOOK TO YOUR DIVISION

    GENERAL LEE, I HAVE NO DIVISION

  • skinny87skinny87 Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Anything by Churchill.

    The man may have had many flaws, but by god he could command a captive audience with his oratory.

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2008
    This is my new mop.

    George, my friend, he gave me this mop. It's not as good as my first mop, I miss my first mop, but it's still a good mop.

    Sometimes you have to take what life gives you. Because life is like a mop.

    Sometimes it's full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff, but you've got to clean it out. You gotta put it in here and rinse it out and start all over again.

    And sometimes, life sticks to the floor so bad a mop isn't good enough. It's not good enough. You gotta get down here with a toothbrush and really scrub, and if that doesn't work, if that doesn't work...you can't give up. You've got to run a window and say,

    "HEY! THESE FLOORS ARE AS DIRTY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"

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  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    i fucking love obama's speeches jesus christ

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  • TalonrazorTalonrazor Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    GENERAL PICKETT, LOOK TO YOUR DIVISION

    GENERAL LEE, I HAVE NO DIVISION

    Yes. That was a pretty awesome response.

    Also, another speech by Chamberlain (Chamberlain was pretty awesome guys)
    We know not of the future, and cannot plan for it much. But we can hold our spirits and our bodies so pure and high, we may cherish such thoughts and ideals, and dream such dreams of lofty purpose, that we can determine and know what manner of men we will be whenever and wherever the hour stricks that calls to noble action..., No man becomes suddenly different from his habit and cherished thought.

    EDIT: The Geek wins prizes of esteem

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  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I was actually mocking you just a little bit, talonrazorknife.

  • DaricDaric Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    there was a decorated general with
    a heart of gold, that likened him to
    all the stories he told
    of past battles, won and lost, and
    legends of old a seasoned veteran in
    his own time

    on the battlefield, he gained
    respectful fame with many medals
    of bravery and stripes to his name
    he grew a beard as soon as he could
    to cover the scars on his face
    and always urged his men on

    but on the eve of a great battle
    with the infantry in dream
    the old general tossed in his sleep
    and wrestled with its meaning
    he awoke from the night
    just to tell what he had seen
    and walked slowly out of his tent

    all the men held tall with their
    chests in the air, with courage in
    their blood and a fire in their stare
    it was a grey morning and they all
    wondered how they would fare
    till the old general told them to go home

    I have seen the others
    and I have discovered
    that this fight is not worth fighting
    I have seen their mothers
    and I will no other
    to follow me where I'm going

    Take a shower, shine your shoes
    you got no time to lose
    you are young men you must be living
    go now you are forgiven

    but the men stood fast with their
    guns on their shoulders not knowing
    what to do with the contradicting orders
    the general said he would do his own
    duty bout would not extend it not further
    the men could go as they pleased

    but not a man moved, their eyes gazed straight ahead
    till one by one
    they stepped back and not a word was said
    and the old general was left with his
    own words echoing in his head
    he then prepared to fight

    Wait that's a song not a speech.

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  • SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    skinny87 wrote: »
    Anything by Churchill.

    The man may have had many flaws, but by god he could command a captive audience with his oratory.



    We will fight them on the beaches is fucking glorious.


    Also.

    They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun, and in the morning.
    We will remember them.

    twispandcatsbysigsmall.jpg
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    It's not a speech but the letter written by Ike to the soldiers taking part in the D-Day invasion is really something.
    Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is
    well trained, well equipped and battle-hardened.
    He will fight savagely.

    Though I wish more politicians gave angry speeches like in Citizen Kane.

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  • skinny87skinny87 Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Silmaril wrote: »
    skinny87 wrote: »
    Anything by Churchill.

    The man may have had many flaws, but by god he could command a captive audience with his oratory.



    We will fight them on the beaches is fucking glorious.


    Also.

    They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun, and in the morning.
    We will remember them.

    The Iron Curtain speech is my personal favourite.

  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    "Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We're evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that."

    Man, I don't care if it's fictional.

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  • MistaCreepyMistaCreepy Registered User
    edited February 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    GENERAL PICKETT, LOOK TO YOUR DIVISION

    GENERAL LEE, I HAVE NO DIVISION


    Probably the greatest "Oh SNAP!" in history.

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  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    You know what the problem with Hollywood is. They make shit. Unbelievable, unremarkable shit. Now I'm not some grungy wannabe filmmaker, that's searching for existentialism through a haze of bong smoke or something. No, it's easy to pick apart bad acting, short-sighted directing, and a purely moronic stringing together of words than many of studios term as prose. No, I'm talking about the lack of realism. Realism. Not a pervasive element in today's modern American cinematic vision. Take 'Dog Day Afternoon' for example. Arguably Pacino's best work, short of 'Scarface' and 'Godfather' part one of course. Masterpiece of directing, easily Lumet's best. The cinematography, the acting, the screenplay, all top notch. But, they didn't push the envelope. Now what if in 'Dog Day,' Sonny really wanted to get away with it? What if - now here's the tricky part - what if he started killing hostages right away? No mercy, no quarter. "Meet our demands or the pretty blond in the bellbottoms gets it in the back of the head." Bam, splat! "What, still no bus?" Come on. How many innocent victims splattered across the window would it take to have the city to reverse it's policy on hostage situations? And this is 1976, there's no CNN, there's no CNBC, there's no Internet! Now, fast-forward to today. Present time, same situation. How quickly would the modern media make a frenzy over this? In a matter of hours, it would be the, the biggest story from Boston to Budapest. Ten hostages die. Twenty, thirty. Relentless, bam bim, one after another. All caught in hi-def, computer-enhanced, color-corrected. You can practically taste the brain-matter. All for what, a bus? A plane? A couple of million dollars that's federally insured? I don't think so. Just a thought. I mean, it's not within the realm of conventional cinema...but what if?

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  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    the closing speech in the great dictator

    and

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  • TalonrazorTalonrazor Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    the closing speech in the great dictator

    The Great Dictator was such a fantastic movie. Shit, I should watch that today.

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  • MistaCreepyMistaCreepy Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Also some of my favorites from Field Marshal Erwin Rommel:

    "In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it."

    "Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, and brains saves both."

    "Be an exapmle to your men, in your duty and in private life. Never spare yourself, and let the troops see that you don´t in your endurance of fatigue and privation. Always be tactfull and wellmannered and teach your subordinates to do the same. Avoid excessive sharpness or harshness of voice, wich usually indicates the man who has shortcommings of his own to hide."

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  • Demosthenes and CiceroDemosthenes and Cicero Registered User
    edited February 2008
    "You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns! You shall not crucify mankind on a cross of gold!" -WJB

    Never has something so horribly wrong (economically) sounded so poetic.

    And now, in order to quickly get off the .... awkward topic of the gold standard, I give you my favorite words by the man in my Facebook profile pic.

    "...The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us.

    Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science.

    Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'" -WC


    Also, not actually speeches so much as poetry (which could be spoken,) but it's hard to beat Charge of the Light Brigade (Tennyson) and Epitaph on a Band of Mercenaries (Houseman) on the scale of 1 to fucking epic.

    "Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true." -D


    "There is nothing so absurd, but some philosopher has said it." -C
  • MistaCreepyMistaCreepy Registered User
    edited February 2008
    A guy who supports McCain likes Rommel? Well I'll be damned


    What the fuck are you talking about?

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  • skinny87skinny87 Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Rommel was far too over-rated.

    O'Connor would have beaten his ass if he hadn't been captured in the desert.

  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
  • TalonrazorTalonrazor Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Patton had some pretty badass speeches. He was also totally insane but awesome[ly insane].
    Patton wrote:
    "I don't want to get any messages saying, "I am holding my position." We are not holding a Goddamned thing. Let the Germans do that. We are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy's balls. We are going to twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like shit through a tin horn!"

    "From time to time there will be some complaints that we are pushing our people too hard. I don't give a good Goddamn about such complaints. I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood. The harder WE push, the more Germans we will kill. The more Germans we kill, the fewer of our men will be killed. Pushing means fewer casualties. I want you all to remember that."

    GM of Aftermath: Life After the End of the Future - Post-apocalyptic space opera of Novo Aether.
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  • MistaCreepyMistaCreepy Registered User
    edited February 2008
    skinny87 wrote: »
    Rommel was far too over-rated.

    O'Connor would have beaten his ass if he hadn't been captured in the desert.

    I dont buy into his godly legend either, but he did a damn good job with the Afrika Korps, espeically when they were rarely reinforced or resupplied.

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  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood Living Proof That Sometimes Friends Are Mean.Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    pretty much every word that comes out of obama's mouth, but if i had to choose one, his 2004 DNC speech was pretty damn inspirational and basically put him on the road to the presidency

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  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    pretty much every word that comes out of obama's mouth, but if i had to choose one, his 2004 DNC speech was pretty damn inspirational and basically put him on the road to the presidency
    fuck yes

    god, he is the best fucking orator in politics since JFK (i realise i have probably said this a million times but damn)

    33aqfwk.jpg
  • skinny87skinny87 Registered User
    edited February 2008
    skinny87 wrote: »
    Rommel was far too over-rated.

    O'Connor would have beaten his ass if he hadn't been captured in the desert.

    I dont buy into his godly legend either, but he did a damn good job with the Afrika Korps, espeically when they were rarely reinforced or resupplied.

    Not that well. Much of his success was based on pure luck and over-stretching his supplies, and when he did get caught out he suffered badly. Even his retreat post-Alamein wasn't anything brilliant. He was competent at best.

  • DaricDaric Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Anything that comes out of Ron Paul's mouth.

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  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    i didn't know insane jibberish qualified as a speech

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  • DaricDaric Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    i didn't know insane jibberish qualified as a speech

    Oh yeah man he's great.

    On another note, Obamamen hve set up shop right outside the library where I'm at and they're hassling people as they walk by.

    I'm all for Obama but I really don't need somebody up in my face yelling about how awesome he is.

    cc61181c22f23454a304a4f1f0867845044.gif
  • LarlarLarlar Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited February 2008
    The Geek wrote: »
    This is my new mop.

    George, my friend, he gave me this mop. It's not as good as my first mop, I miss my first mop, but it's still a good mop.

    Sometimes you have to take what life gives you. Because life is like a mop.

    Sometimes it's full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff, but you've got to clean it out. You gotta put it in here and rinse it out and start all over again.

    And sometimes, life sticks to the floor so bad a mop isn't good enough. It's not good enough. You gotta get down here with a toothbrush and really scrub, and if that doesn't work, if that doesn't work...you can't give up. You've got to run a window and say,

    "HEY! THESE FLOORS ARE AS DIRTY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"

    What, don't you like bonanza?

    iwantanswers3.png
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    pretty much every word that comes out of obama's mouth, but if i had to choose one, his 2004 DNC speech was pretty damn inspirational and basically put him on the road to the presidency
    fuck yes

    god, he is the best fucking orator in politics since JFK (i realise i have probably said this a million times but damn)

    What about Bobby?

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  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Butters wrote: »
    Cloudman wrote: »
    pretty much every word that comes out of obama's mouth, but if i had to choose one, his 2004 DNC speech was pretty damn inspirational and basically put him on the road to the presidency
    fuck yes

    god, he is the best fucking orator in politics since JFK (i realise i have probably said this a million times but damn)

    What about Bobby?

    I was totally going to say that. My favorite is his impromptu (!) speech on the death of MLK. To a room full of black people who didn't know that MLK had been killed.

    People don't talk like this anymore, and that is a fucking shame.

    I mean, he quotes AESCHYLUS. Holy shit.

    "My favorite poet was Aeschylus. He once wrote: "Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God."

    What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness, but is love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or whether they be black."

    Whole speech:
    Spoiler:

    “Hic non defectus est, sed cattus minxit desuper nocte quadam. Confundatur pessimus cattus qui minxit super librum istum in nocte Daventrie, et consimiliter omnes alii propter illum. Et cavendum valde ne permittantur libri aperti per noctem ubi cattie venire possunt.”
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  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    The humans, I think, knew they were doomed. But where another race would surrender to despair, the humans fought back with even greater strength. They made the Minbari fight for every inch of space. In my life, I have never seen anything like it. They would weep, They would pray, They would say goodbye to their loved ones, then throw themselves without fear or hesitation into the very face of death itself, never surrendering. No one who saw them fighting against the inevitable, could help but be moved to tears by their courage, their stubborn nobility. When they ran out of ships they used guns. When they ran out of guns they used knives and sticks, and bare hands. They were magnificent. I only hope that when it is my time, I may die with half as much dignity as I saw in their eyes in the end. They did this for two years. They never ran out of courage. But in the end, they ran out of time.

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  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I think that speech solidifies Bobby as actually being a better speaker than Jack.

    Also, I know Teefs' eyes will roll back into his skull but anyone that denies Reagan's ability as a communicator is just plain wrong.

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  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    He was an actor.

    It's not that much of a stretch.

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  • TalonrazorTalonrazor Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Butters wrote: »
    I think that speech solidifies Bobby as actually being a better speaker than Jack.

    Also, I know Teefs' eyes will roll back into his skull but anyone that denies Reagan's ability as a communicator is just plain wrong.

    Reagan was an awesome orator. His "Evil Empire" speech was pretty good.
    Reagan wrote:
    We're approaching the end of a bloody century plagued by a terrible political invention -- totalitarianism. Optimism comes less easily today, not because democracy is less vigorous, but because democracy's enemies have refined their instruments of repression. Yet optimism is in order because day by day democracy is proving itself to be a not at all fragile flower. From Stettin on the Baltic to Varna on the Black Sea, the regimes planted by totalitarianism have had more than thirty years to establish their legitimacy. But none -- not one regime -- has yet been able to risk free elections. Regimes planted by bayonets do not take root.

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  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    Butters wrote: »
    I think that speech solidifies Bobby as actually being a better speaker than Jack.

    Also, I know Teefs' eyes will roll back into his skull but anyone that denies Reagan's ability as a communicator is just plain wrong.
    the tear down this wall speech was actually pretty well written! i just cannot stand reagan's voice

    or reagan in general

    33aqfwk.jpg
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2008
    I've never actually caught any of Barack's speeches.

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  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    The Geek wrote: »
    I've never actually caught any of Barack's speeches.
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=-iVAPH_EcmQ

    here's a recent one

    33aqfwk.jpg
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