Who’s Killin’ Who?
Beasts of Chaos
Beasts of Chaos are the “other” Chaos army: grubby, dirty beastmen, minotaurs, centaurs, and other gribblies. Y’now that creepy medieval picture of a satyr-daemon-thing on a woman’s chest? That’s these guys.
Pre-revolution French, King Arthur’s knights, and the oppressed peasants from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
squished into an army full of heavy cavalry charges, uppity nobles, and oppressed peasants.
Ever wanted to play a wargame with Elric’s Melnibonean kin? Drugs, pointy ears, slaves, and the least fruity elves since medieval myth, these guys have little to do with Tolkien’s fairies.
Dogs of War
Everything else. Tilean (read: 15th century Italian) pikemen, giants, ogres, and suicidal dwarf pirates (seriously), Dogs of War is a catch-all for various mercenaries that can be played on their own, or as additions to other forces.
Like every other dwafs ever, except more obsessed with gold, drunker, and a lot more sullen. If Gimli were a Warhammer dwaf, he would’ve spent three weeks checking a giant gold-lined book, found the time one of Aragorn’s ancestors scuffed his new boot, then cut the man’s head off as payment.
The point-of-view for most of the Warhammer World (and setting for WFRP), the Empire is an especially mad take on the 16th century, pre-Protestant Holy Roman Empire. Empire armies have it all, from state-licensed battle wizards to experimental steam and gunpowder cannons. Also, codpieces, tights, and jaunty caps. The Empire is the most stylish fantasy realm ever.
Yeah, they’re somewhat like Tolkien’s elves. Except how they’re a bit less “fade into the West” and more “exert control over everything like some facist hyper-Roman/British empire grasping at the last vestiges of divine right”. So they’re more like Tolkien’s elves, with balls.
Hordes of Chaos
Willing servants of Chaos, most of this army is super elite, close combat units. If the Dark Side wasn’t a bunch of whiny bitches and old guys… it’d still be half as apocalyptically badass as Chaos. Except they still always lose… until next
time they march to destroy the world for sure
Biological automatons created by the Old Ones to do stuff. The lizardmen are a smelly and stupid. Die-die lizard-things.
Ogres are as fat as your mom. And way more badass, ‘cause they can eat rocks, horses, and have really bit swords and hammers. That’s pretty much all there is to them.
The skaven don’t exist. If they did, however, they’d rule the stupid manthings in short order and be the primary protagonists of Warhammer, destined by the will of their god to rule the above-dwellers for all eternity.
Undead that don’t suck. The Tomb Kings are the by-product of Nagash’s experiments and ambitions, who happens to be one of the coolest characters in Warhammer. Tomb Kings are less cool, but they could still beat the shit out of Brendan Frasier and
Indiana Jones. At the same time.
Whiny bitches, just like in every fantasy setting, ever. Warhammer vampires are a little cooler, though, ‘cause they were another inadvertent creation of Nagash.
Before Tolkien and Christmas came along, elves were vengeful, nasty, spirits of the forest. These guys skip Tolkien and get back to that. They’re not nice, they keep human children as drugged-up slaves, and they’re allied with possibly Chaotic (or just insane) trees. Also, the Bretonnians are their unknowing bitches.