What ifs, and other stupid questions

shutz

In the "God, what does it take to get an idea" thread, babylonfreek wrote something that struck me as a cool idea for a thread: what ifs.

Here's what he wrote:

If I ask questions, I think of what ifs. Not: what if a secret agent had to save the world? Start more basic. Off the top of my head: what if toasters could think, would they rebel and refuse to toast? what if my dog could sing, what would he sing? what if dolphins *were* smarter than us, do they consider dry land a wilderness preserve? what if I had a real job, would I be sitting in this chair in the dark like an idiot?

So, the topic is "what ifs" in the vein he describes.

All sentences in this thread after this OP have to be questions. If you have to comment about the thread or some particular post in the thread, formulate it as a question. The more twisted, the better.

Maybe those of you who are having trouble coming up with ideas will find what you need?

And now, here are some of my own stupid "what ifs":

What if gravity worked in reverse, and we lived on the inside of a sphere, instead of the surface?
What if everything I wrote came to be? If I then wrote "I never existed," what would happen?
If walls could talk, would they complain about having to stand up all day?
Is there such a thing as "dry" water?