I've been out of college for about 2 years now. The extent of my writing in the last 4 years or so has been excel spreadsheets consists of instant messanger and forum posts. I've noticed that I make a ton of grammatical errors and I have little to (edit: no flow, see what i mean, when LOL and wtf make up a big portion of your vocab, your language skills suffer like mine:( end edit) flow as I tried to write for the first time since then. I was never a great writer by any means and I don't have any aspirations to write except to kill time and mostly for myself. With that said, I'd still like to improve my writing so go ahead and be brutally honest.
This story I did at my desk at work during some down time.
My eyes dropped down to my hands. The blood was still wet, still warm on my fingers. Instinctively I closed them to avoid looking at the blood. My heart began beating faster and faster like a possessed metronome. Oxygen began to escape me as my gasps for breath became harder and more desperate. As the darkness threatened to envelope my consciousness I let out a hopeless whimper for help.
â€œWhatâ€™s up?â€ replied a voice over the wall.
My back slumped back as I heard faint movement behind me. My eyes squinted as a figure approached. A flash of light forced my pupils to dilate. Shellyâ€™s long blonde hair fell past her shoulders as she craned over me. Even in this situation my eyes struggled to climb past the curves in her shirt, they only lingered briefly as I forced my head back to meet her brown eyes. I opened my hands as my eyes hid behind their lids in shame.
â€œGood god, did you get another paper cut?â€ she asked chagrined. â€œYou know, you might be the most melodramatic hemophobiac Iâ€™ve ever met and turn on your desk light once in a whileâ€ she mumbled as she leaned over me to flip on my desk light. â€œHold onâ€ she said while going back to her cubicle. She quickly returned to my desk and I watched with one open eye as she smoothed the adhesive strip.
â€œThanksâ€ I replied, letting out a sigh of relief. â€œThe light keeps me awakeâ€ I said as I stood up and stretched. â€œWhat would I do without you, my heroine?â€ I asked.
â€œProbably stain your shirt and pass out asleep on your desk. Well, you still sleep on your desk. So really, just stain your shirtâ€ She quipped, not even bothering to hide her smirk. â€œWanna grab some lunch with me? Itâ€™s almost noon now.â€ She asked before I could think of response to her remark.
â€œIâ€™m not sure if I can drive with this vicious wound on my handâ€ I said smirking back at her. She sauntered over to me and cupped my hand with hers. She lifted my hands up past my shoulders, just at her eye level. I gave her an inquisitive look as she examined my hands. â€œOW OW OW OK OK OK OK Iâ€™ll driveâ€ I yelped as she pressed her finger into the band-aid. She smiled innocently as I grabbed my heavy black coat off and fiddled with the buttons as she came back with her cappuccino colored coat already on. We checked on a couple of our friends but they must have already left. As we walked out I made a quick stop in the human resources office.
The human resource department had this ambience of busyness. Not that it meant they did any work, but they looked very self important and always bustling with work. It was a skill I wished I could master. The door clicked softly behind me as I walked over to the counter as apparent as I could, hoping the receptionist would notice me. She didnâ€™t. I folded my elbows hoping the noise would cause her to look up. It didnâ€™t. I glanced at her name tag that read plainly in big red letters â€œBETTYâ€ in all capital letters. I coughed and put on my best smile as she looked up. â€œHi Betty, could you pull my file for me? Last name is Yams, First name Pyse, Thatâ€™s P-Y-S-Eâ€. I said as pleasantly as I could muster.
â€œYamsâ€¦ Pissyâ€ She repeated.
â€œNo, Yams, Pyse, P-Y-S-Eâ€ I said slowly. I ground my teeth, â€œYams Pissyâ€ indeed. Itâ€™s not a complicated name, its one syllable for god sakes. Iâ€™ve gone through twenty four years of my life with this problem, what is so damn hard about Pyse I thought. She looked up confused again. Now Betty is the type of person that could talk in excruciating detail about a twenty minute talk show for fifty minutes, but not the type to be able to remember a single syllable. I took a breath and repeated P-Y-S-E for her.
â€œOk, it will be delivered in three to five business daysâ€ she chirped with her shrill voice.
â€œThanksâ€ I said half heartedly as I walked back out to meet Shirley.
Shirleyâ€™s hands were already on her hips as she tapped her foot impatiently. â€œWhat did you need in there?â€ she asked as we started walking outside.
â€œI just needed to file a report against youâ€ I said. That response earned me an elbow to the ribs. â€œDid you see that? This is exactly what Iâ€™m talking aboutâ€ I yelled towards the office. Her face turned red as the people around us turned to look. She blushed as she raised her chin and marched past me towards the parking lot.
Sooo uh tell me what you think. Too boring, do I use "I" too much? I need some constructive feedback.
I didn't really have any story or objective in my mind when I wrote this. Just wrote whatever came into my head.
edited: title in hopes of some views and replies;p