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I'm horrified right now.

Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Registered User, ClubPA regular
edited March 2008 in Singularity Engine++
I live in a one bedroom apartment, with another person. This other person happens to be my best friends girlfriends, they're both lesbians.

Last night, was the first time that they attempted to have sex. My room mate has never gone down on a girl before, she is asking me for pointers.

What the fuck do I do?

clowninthewoods.png
Auntie Shibby on
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Posts

  • Airking850Airking850 Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Give her some pointers...?

    Airking850 on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    explain to her that you've never gone down on a girl before either

    but tell her you have some tips if she goes straight

    Kovak on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Wait a minute, how many people are living in this apartment, how many bedrooms, and how many lesbians?

    I'm making an equation here.

    NotASenator on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    i am positive there is some porn for this

    potatoe on
    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    number of lesbians + number of bedrooms + number of shibbies = number of shibbies + number of bedrooms (the lesbians leave because shibby is there)

    Kovak on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus What a bright time, it's the Prime time... Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Tell her that the best way would be for you to go down on her and to record it for her to view later to see your techniques.

    DarkPrimus on
    jesuprime.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • captainkcaptaink TexasRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Say you can't help her unless you see her technique first.

    captaink on
    sig.gifSteam | D3: captaink#1674 | 3DS: 2466-1914-7679
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    are they attractive lesbians?

    this is important

    potatoe on
    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    i know a lesbian

    she looks like a dude

    Kovak on
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    Go down on your best friend in front of your roommate.

    Munkus Beaver on
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  • DynagripDynagrip destroy everything you touch Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    Why the heck would you share a one bedroom with someone?

    Dynagrip on
    ok98TNK.png
  • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    itt lesbians

    thorgot on
    campionthorgotsig.jpg
  • Eastern GlowEastern Glow Registered User
    edited March 2008
    Does the other person sleep in the bathtub?

    Eastern Glow on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Kovak wrote: »
    explain to her that you've never gone down on a girl before either

    but tell her you have some tips if she goes straight

    hahaha I'm writing this down.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • UbikUbik i am a god in a french-ass restaurantRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    By lesbians do you mean wiccans?

    Ubik on
    CleezusSig_zpsfa821add.png
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    give her a pointer

    in the vagina

    like with with your penis

    Kovak on
  • SonnySonny Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Show her how you do things

    Sonny on
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  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    You could uh

    hmm

    OmegaTofuNinja on
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  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Worst brag thread ever?

    Monkeyfeet on
    sig1.jpg
  • guruslothgurusloth Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    this thread makes me happy

    [EDIT] in my pants

    gurusloth on
    4445171660_a11796abb7_o.jpg
  • VorusVorus Registered User
    edited March 2008
    oh yeah well I have like 100 lesbian sex addicts my house right now so there

    Vorus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Meta T. DustMeta T. Dust Registered User
    edited March 2008
    Tell her not to use foreign objects such as lamps, unless asked to.

    Meta T. Dust on
    motherfuckingwar.png
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Jordyn wrote: »
    Kovak wrote: »
    explain to her that you've never gone down on a girl before either

    but tell her you have some tips if she goes straight

    hahaha I'm writing this down.

    i thought it was funny too

    thank you for validating my post jordyn

    Kovak on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    potatoe on
    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    do you own a baseball bat

    y/n?

    Calamity Jane on
  • Bloods EndBloods End Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Take a hike in the woods and become a serial rapist.

    Bloods End on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    Worst brag thread ever?
    That's impossible.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    guys i just realized i never got a birds and a bees speech from my parents

    i cant even fathom how it would work

    someone give me the birds and the bees speech

    Kovak on
  • PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Obtain for yourself a Roast Beef footlong from Subway, as well as a Ham and Cheese sandwich from the restaurant/grocery/deli of your choosing.

    Use the H&C as a teaching tool for proper methods.

    Than bring me the Roast Beef because I am kinda hungry.

    Perrsun on
  • bowtiedsealbowtiedseal Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Kovak wrote: »
    guys i just realized i never got a birds and a bees speech from my parents

    i cant even fathom how it would work

    someone give me the birds and the bees speech

    my mom tried to give me the talk when I was in the car and we were driving somewhere like half an hour away

    I just said "we're not having this conversation" and then she said "okay"

    bowtiedseal on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    im mostly just curious as how birds and bees can relate to sex

    Kovak on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Kovak wrote: »
    im mostly just curious as how birds and bees can relate to sex

    ask bel

    i'm sure she could draw it up

    potatoe on
    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Kovak wrote: »
    im mostly just curious as how birds and bees can relate to sex

    same way the stork can

    the stork also confuses me, though

    thorgot on
    campionthorgotsig.jpg
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    i think this all leads to furries

    Kovak on
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User
    edited March 2008
    Kovak wrote: »
    guys i just realized i never got a birds and a bees speech from my parents

    i cant even fathom how it would work

    someone give me the birds and the bees speech

    When a man and a man love each other very much, like me and your dad...

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    I've also never had the birds and bees talk. I think I turned out alright.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    fuck seriously someone give me the birds and bees speech

    i dont wanna be him

    Kovak on
  • captainkcaptaink TexasRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Kovak wrote: »
    i think this all leads to furries

    Lesfur? Horrifying.


    All them catgirls, having their catgirl sex. D:

    captaink on
    sig.gifSteam | D3: captaink#1674 | 3DS: 2466-1914-7679
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Kovak wrote: »
    i think this all leads to furries
    It seems that everything leads to furries.

    see317 on
    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I tried to find you the WKUK sketch where Trevor tells a boy in the park about the birds and bees.

    "So you pee in her?"
    "Yep"
    "Then a baby comes out in nine months?"
    "Yep"
    "Thats gross"
    "Yeah it is"

    Monkeyfeet on
    sig1.jpg
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