Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

I am beginning to have my doubts

Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of KafiristanRegistered User regular
edited March 2008 in Chatlog
I'm beginning to have my doubts about sexual education in Tunisia.

That's where my roommates are from, if you didn't know. Where's Tunisia? Think Tatooine with less droids and more hair. There's two of them: Dris and Khalil. I have lived with them for six months and I don't know which one is which. They're twins, you see, and they dress exactly the same, have the same haircut and are never apart. It gets confusing. Anyways, this is a story about Dris (or Khalil) and something that happened this morning:

Last night my roommates had a party, as they do almost every Friday night. So they party and then the morning comes. Everything is going alright until one of the Twins (don't ask me which is which) walks out of his room with a cup in his hand. He's disgusted. Apparently, during the night, someone came into the cup and then proceeded to leave the red, plastic cup full of semen on the floor.

Then the Twin says something to the tune of, "There is something in this cup! I think it was one of those girls." He goes on to describe the liquid in the cup as: A) Gross and B) Glue-like. And it came from one of the girls, he claims.

Hold it. What? This I gotta see.

The cup is already in the garbage and I'm in no mood to go hunting around for what might be a cup of cum before noon. That's just how I was raised. So I ask the Twin what's up. He shows me the place in his room where he found the cup. Apparently the cup runnith over and onto the carpet. There's a few drops here and there with paper towels over it.

I'm thinking, "There's no fucking way this is what they think it is. It's got to be a drink or vomit or something." Which, even if it is vomit, it doesn't make me picking up one of the paper towels with my foot and smelling it any better. I mean, at best, I'm going to have a nose full of puke. So, I sniff it from a fair distance from my face.

Nope, it's cum.

Texas C.

White Gold.

And it's right under the desk. There's a laptop sitting right over the cum stain, too. It doesn't take Dr House to figure out that someone got a bit lonely during the night and wasn't quite as clever as they thought they were. I say as much to the Twin. He won't have any of it.

He goes on. One of the girls that crashed at his place came into the cup. He's convinced. I tell him, "I don't think that's possible, in fact, I know it's impossible." He goes on. It's girl cum. There were no other guys in the room besides him. Therefore, one of the girls ejaculated into the cup. I tell him, "You know what, I don't think I've ever encountered that before."

Not that a girl can't ejaculate, but even when they do "squirt," as it's known among polite circles, it doesn't smell kind of liked bleached dough. And it doesn't have the consistency of glue (as the Twin claims it to be). And they sure as shit can't aim it into a cup.

I don't tell him this, but I give him the gist of it. What he thinks happened just is not possible, at least not like he described. He asks me why it isn't possible.

And then I have to insist, again, that: No, Dris, women do not have semen.

This is a thread about roommates.

Penguin Incarnate on
·
«1345678

Posts

  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    a cup full of semen

    we are dealing with at least two virile, engorged professionals here people

    ·
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Show him real girl cum

    ·
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    teefs joke I am clever8-)

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
    ·
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    You sure it wasnt glue?

    scarab you have mental problems
    ·
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Penguin, goddamn.

    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    My roommate and his girlfriend are pretty awesome.

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
    services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane
    Secret Satan Wishlists: Regular List Coffee Stuff
    FUNTENDO DS BROCODE: 2337-4364-1683
    ·
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It was a 10 oz. cup about a third full of semen.

    The mystery jerker is apparently a very healthy man.

    Or woman.

    ·
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It filled a fucking cup?

    EDIT: Oh okay

    Still, goddamn

    IsaacSig.png
    3DS: 3007 8087 2767 | Nintendo ID: AngryFrog
    ·
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    hahaha, just the kind of thing you need to get your day off to a great start.

    Wake up to cornflakes and a paper cut full of semen, all the essential nutrients to jumpstart your day. Includes paper towels and a laptop.

    facebook.pngsteam.pngyoutube.pngtwitter.png
    ·
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    A Cup?

    A cup?

    Crazy%20Eyes%20Dave.png
    ·
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It was a 10 oz. cup about a third full of semen.

    The mystery jerker is apparently a very healthy man.

    Or woman.

    Or a horse.

    Good lord!

    ·
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It was a 10 oz. cup about a third full of semen.

    The mystery jerker is apparently a very healthy man.

    Or woman.

    what in the fuck

    did peter north visit your house at 3 in the morning?

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
    ·
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It was a 10 oz. cup about a third full of semen.

    The mystery jerker is apparently a very healthy man.

    Or woman.

    a healthy woman with a positively huge ball-bag

    alright we have our suspect, let's move

    ·
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Junpei wrote: »
    Wake up to cornflakes and a paper cut full of semen

    The most painful thing imaginable

    IsaacSig.png
    3DS: 3007 8087 2767 | Nintendo ID: AngryFrog
    ·
  • Phil316Phil316 Registered User
    edited March 2008
    This comes as a shock to me, as I was under the impression that the sexual education field in that part of the world was of high quality.

    americanfootballsigdi0.jpg
    Spoiler:
    ·
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    It was a 10 oz. cup about a third full of semen.

    The mystery jerker is apparently a very healthy man.

    Or woman.

    Or a horse.

    Good lord!

    "At this moment, PI has just realised that normal people don't sleep on hay, he just thought it was a Tunisian tradition"

    facebook.pngsteam.pngyoutube.pngtwitter.png
    ·
  • Phil316Phil316 Registered User
    edited March 2008
    Maybe it was a communal cup?

    americanfootballsigdi0.jpg
    Spoiler:
    ·
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Green wrote: »
    Junpei wrote: »
    Wake up to cornflakes and a paper cut full of semen

    The most painful thing imaginable

    Wow, that typo worked out pretty well to make that scene all the more horrible.

    facebook.pngsteam.pngyoutube.pngtwitter.png
    ·
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    that is a lot of semen

    ·
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    My roommates are centaurs, so fucking what?

    ·
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Phil316 wrote: »
    Maybe it was a communal cup?

    that does not make this situation any better

    ·
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Do they offer you free rides into town?

    facebook.pngsteam.pngyoutube.pngtwitter.png
    ·
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Nuzak wrote: »
    Phil316 wrote: »
    Maybe it was a communal cup?

    that does not make this situation any better

    Goddamn Communists

    Crazy%20Eyes%20Dave.png
    ·
  • SonnySonny Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Green wrote: »
    Junpei wrote: »
    Wake up to cornflakes and a paper cut full of semen

    The most painful thing imaginable

    Wow...That would suck

    Untitled-1-1.gif
    ·
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    Penguin, goddamn.

    Me?

    Is it me you are talking to?

    I think your talking to me

    ·
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Dadouw wrote: »
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    Penguin, goddamn.

    Me?

    naw PI's sperm story

    you're a rad fellow, though

    ·
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Junpei wrote: »
    Do they offer you free rides into town?
    They're too proud of a people for that.

    ·
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    sheri i'll fill a cup of sperm for you at ATLpax

    Spoiler:

    ·
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Thats a good few hours worth of your time, it's a wortwhile gift, full of thought and .... effort >.>

    facebook.pngsteam.pngyoutube.pngtwitter.png
    ·
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Kovak wrote: »
    sheri i'll fill a cup of sperm for you at ATLpax

    Spoiler:

    Yeah uh

    Thanks but no thanks

    ·
  • BogdanichBogdanich Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I've always thought that there was a variation on the circlejerk where everyone involved cums into a container like a cup or a bowl, and then the loser (or winner, depending on preference and house rules) is supposed to drink the whole thing.

    ·
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I am thinking this is what they did:
    phase-four.jpg

    ·
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    That's one of the minivideos showcased in Lesbian Spank Inferno, a quality film all round
    Spoiler:

    facebook.pngsteam.pngyoutube.pngtwitter.png
    ·
  • jackaljackal Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    A dozen guys just going to town around a cup, giggling, whispering about how funny this is going to be.

    ·
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Junpei wrote: »
    That's one of the minivideos showcased in Lesbian Spank Inferno, a quality film all round
    Spoiler:

    lesbian Spank Inferno is a serious documentary! It was made my a group of Lesbian filmmakers!


    IT'S NOT PORN!

    Crazy%20Eyes%20Dave.png
    ·
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited March 2008

    played it

    lost one time

    tastes rank, but it was on a jaffa cake so at least there was something to mask the taste

    ·
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Hey cool, I have the last post in the chatlog

    ·
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Nuzak wrote: »

    played it

    lost one time

    tastes rank, but it was on a jaffa cake so at least there was something to mask the taste

    errr

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
    ·
«1345678
This discussion has been closed.