I'm beginning to have my doubts about sexual education in Tunisia.
That's where my roommates are from, if you didn't know. Where's Tunisia? Think Tatooine with less droids and more hair. There's two of them: Dris and Khalil. I have lived with them for six months and I don't know which one is which. They're twins, you see, and they dress exactly the same, have the same haircut and are never apart. It gets confusing. Anyways, this is a story about Dris (or Khalil) and something that happened this morning:
Last night my roommates had a party, as they do almost every Friday night. So they party and then the morning comes. Everything is going alright until one of the Twins (don't ask me which is which) walks out of his room with a cup in his hand. He's disgusted. Apparently, during the night, someone came into the cup and then proceeded to leave the red, plastic cup full of semen on the floor.
Then the Twin says something to the tune of, "There is something in this cup! I think it was one of those girls." He goes on to describe the liquid in the cup as: A) Gross and
Glue-like. And it came from one of the girls, he claims.
Hold it. What? This I gotta see.
The cup is already in the garbage and I'm in no mood to go hunting around for what might be a cup of cum before noon. That's just how I was raised. So I ask the Twin what's up. He shows me the place in his room where he found the cup. Apparently the cup runnith over and onto the carpet. There's a few drops here and there with paper towels over it.
I'm thinking, "There's no fucking way this is what they think it is. It's got to be a drink or vomit or something." Which, even if it is vomit, it doesn't make me picking up one of the paper towels with my foot and smelling it any better. I mean, at best, I'm going to have a nose full of puke. So, I sniff it from a fair distance from my face.
Nope, it's cum.
And it's right under the desk. There's a laptop sitting right over the cum stain, too. It doesn't take Dr House to figure out that someone got a bit lonely during the night and wasn't quite as clever as they thought they were. I say as much to the Twin. He won't have any of it.
He goes on. One of the girls that crashed at his place came into the cup. He's convinced. I tell him, "I don't think that's possible, in fact, I know it's impossible." He goes on. It's girl cum. There were no other guys in the room besides him. Therefore, one of the girls ejaculated into the cup. I tell him, "You know what, I don't think I've ever encountered that before."
Not that a girl can't ejaculate, but even when they do "squirt," as it's known among polite circles, it doesn't smell kind of liked bleached dough. And it doesn't have the consistency of glue (as the Twin claims it to be). And they sure as shit can't aim it into a cup.
I don't tell him this, but I give him the gist of it. What he thinks happened just is not possible, at least not like he described. He asks me why it isn't possible.
And then I have to insist, again, that: No, Dris, women do not have semen.
This is a thread about roommates.