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What are you gonna do with Free Money? (2008 Stimulus Check, Maybe NSF56k)

1235

Posts

  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2008
    Everyone here should just give me $5 of their free money

  • naporeonnaporeon Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Thanatos wrote: »
    naporeon wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Daric wrote: »
    Hey Thanatos, how do I trick the government into giving me money even though I'm listed as a dependant. I don't depend on shit, this isn't fair.
    get a job hippy.
    Cap beats me to it. :P

    The only ways to get around it would be to commit tax fraud or get your parents to file an amended claim. I don't recommend the former, and the latter would probably cost your parents more money than you'd get back in stimulus/tax refund.
    I was about to suggest the way that my folks and I used to do handle the tax refund, but then I realized that it probably constitutes tax fraud.

    So never mind.
    Were you going to suggest that they figure out which way more money is saved, by claiming or not claiming as a dependent, and work out some sort of equitable division of the money? Because that's what my parents and I always did. I always assumed it was legal.
    Yes, that is exactly what I was going to suggest.

    But you're either a dependent or you aren't, so it's possible that being reported as one when you aren't might not be totally above-board. Particularly if you're being paid to do so.

  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    this free money tastes like freedom

    pmdunk.jpg
  • DaricDaric Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Daric wrote: »
    Hey Thanatos, how do I trick the government into giving me money even though I'm listed as a dependant. I don't depend on shit, this isn't fair.

    get a job hippy.

    Actually I have 2 jobs.

    But I'm 19 and still living with my parents so I'm still listed as a dependant.

    cc61181c22f23454a304a4f1f0867845044.gif
  • PussumPussum Registered User
    edited April 2008
    Holy smokes. I have been here at the office for just under half an hour and the chick I work with has been going on a tangent about these checks for every single second of that half hour.

    "When are they coming, how are they getting to us, why aren't they here yet, how much are we getting, blah blah blah?" Normally this wouldn't be an issue and I would be more than willing to direct her to the FAQ website that lists all the information she needs, but not only would it be the third time I would have shown her, but the last time I did she bitched me out up and down because I "made her feel stupid by having to show here where the website is". What the mother fuck?

    Now she is on the phone almost in tears bitching to her mother about how she can't figure out where or when her check is coming.

    venomsigva5.png
  • Big Red TieBig Red Tie a storm rocks a ship on a sea the wind shakes the leaves on a treeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2008
    suplex her

    3926 4292 8829
    Beasteh wrote: »
    *おなら*
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Pussum wrote: »
    Holy smokes. I have been here at the office for just under half an hour and the chick I work with has been going on a tangent about these checks for every single second of that half hour.

    "When are they coming, how are they getting to us, why aren't they here yet, how much are we getting, blah blah blah?" Normally this wouldn't be an issue and I would be more than willing to direct her to the FAQ website that lists all the information she needs, but not only would it be the third time I would have shown her, but the last time I did she bitched me out up and down because I "made her feel stupid by having to show here where the website is". What the mother fuck?

    Now she is on the phone almost in tears bitching to her mother about how she can't figure out where or when her check is coming.

    Tell her she doesn't deserve that check.

  • PussumPussum Registered User
    edited April 2008
    She is burley enough that I'm pretty sure I could dodge the legal-punishment for beating up a woman.

    venomsigva5.png
  • M.D.M.D. and then what happens? Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Choke her out with the phone cord.

  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User
    edited April 2008
    actually i think i'll buy some nice denon headphones

  • PussumPussum Registered User
    edited April 2008
    Choke her out with the phone cord.

    If only you knew how many times I have wished to do so.

    If this is any kind of guide on how she is, imagine the red headed fat chick from office space. Now imagine that chick as a mexican woman with a disability that prevents her from adjusting the tone and volume of her voice to a different setting other than "screech", and a second more severe disability that makes her think, in her own mind, everyone in the room wants to hear about her personal life I.E. her sex life, her relationship with her mother, and how much of a no-good scoundral her husband is. . . when he isn't laying pipe of course *giggle giggle giggle SNORT giggle*(yes she giggles AND snorts at the same time).

    Put yourself less than three feet away from her and you have my entire day, eight hours a day, five days a week.

    Oh, just to throw this out there. She, for some reason, feels that her and I are good friends so one day when I was in another office she reached into my coat, grabbed my cell phone, and put the number into her phone so EVERY weekend like clock work she rings my phone wanting me to come over to her hole in the wall, government provided, apartment to drink with her while her husband is at work since he works thirds shift Thursday through Monday.

    venomsigva5.png
  • mastmanmastman Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    pussum, you have described hell. Go highlander on her

    ByalIX8.png
  • Big Red TieBig Red Tie a storm rocks a ship on a sea the wind shakes the leaves on a treeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2008
    go mastmans sig on her

    all lasers shhzzzzzz

    3926 4292 8829
    Beasteh wrote: »
    *おなら*
  • PussumPussum Registered User
    edited April 2008
    Hahaha.


    She is 21-22 so she is right at that age where she is torn between wanting to still go out and party and wanting to start having children so everyday she surfs through three types of websites. Pregnancy websites (WITH VIDEO! YAY!), websites that feature pictures of cats as the main attraction, and barfly websites so she knows where the best deals are in town so she can get "fucked up man" and then drive home before her husband gets home so he doesn't find out.

    venomsigva5.png
  • Big Red TieBig Red Tie a storm rocks a ship on a sea the wind shakes the leaves on a treeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2008
    what job is it

    3926 4292 8829
    Beasteh wrote: »
    *おなら*
  • PussumPussum Registered User
    edited April 2008
    what job is it

    Her job is to answer phones and input bills into the system for our customers. My job is to keep track of all major accounts and pretty much suck their cocks when they have problems. I also get to fire the mechanics when they consistently go way over on how much time they take to do their job.

    We got crammed into an office together because the new building they are building in the back had to be put on hold because they stumbled into a natural reserve of water under ground and have to deal with that before they can continue. So now everyone with their own office has to double up until they get the situation under control.


    EDIT:

    Update.

    She is currently on the phone with her mother arguing with her about how Asteroid Cheetos (the ball shaped cheeto's) are better than Flamin' Hot and that "flamin' hot sold out and changed their recipe because it was to hot for most of the general public".

    cheetos ...........

    CHEETOS!

    venomsigva5.png
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User
    edited April 2008
    Okay my computer crapped out last night, so now I'm buying new parts with my free money. Probably with a couple new monitors too.

  • taoistlumberjaktaoistlumberjak Registered User
    edited April 2008
    I'm now wishing I wasn't buying a ring.
    I mean
    How hard can this be?

    :x

    grillsgrillsgrills.jpg
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2008
    I'm now wishing I wasn't buying a ring.
    I mean
    How hard can this be?

    :x

    I'm going through this at the moment. I'm looking at all these things and going "oh that's nice, how much is OH MY GOD IT'S OVER £2000" and the salesladies get annoyed at me and I get uncomfortable and have to leave.

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin. His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister. Lego. They're all made of fucking lego.
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    my mouse crapped out so i bought this wireless logitech thing and it is the biggest piece of garbage

    pmdunk.jpg
  • taoistlumberjaktaoistlumberjak Registered User
    edited April 2008
    I'm now wishing I wasn't buying a ring.
    I mean
    How hard can this be?

    :x

    I'm going through this at the moment. I'm looking at all these things and going "oh that's nice, how much is OH MY GOD IT'S OVER £2000" and the salesladies get annoyed at me and I get uncomfortable and have to leave.

    "Don't you think your future wife is worth 2 months of your salary *condescending look*?"

    *HEADBUTT*
    *PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH*

    grillsgrillsgrills.jpg
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2008
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2008
    Mysst wrote: »
    Buy her a bigscreen.

    I don't think opening the big cardboard bog has the same effect as the tiny ring box, sadly. Otherwise I'd be all over that.

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin. His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister. Lego. They're all made of fucking lego.
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Mysst wrote: »
    Buy her a bigscreen.

    I don't think opening the big cardboard bog has the same effect as the tiny ring box, sadly. Otherwise I'd be all over that.

    I guess it depends on your girl. Mine isn't into jewelry, but she loves to watch some tv. Plus I have a use for the tv too, whereas no one has a use for the ring.

  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User
    edited April 2008
    I'm going to buy a Moissanite engagement ring this time.

  • WavechaserWavechaser Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Considering I just dropped my surfboard nose first into my 1080p 36" Flat Screen HDTV, I think i'll be putting my check towards a new one of those...

    Fuck.

    PierceNeck wrote: »
    People still do the anal thing?
  • the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Wavechaser wrote: »
    Considering I just dropped my surfboard nose first into my 1080p 36" Flat Screen HDTV, I think i'll be putting my check towards a new one of those...

    Fuck.
    Did you pay for your new TV with a credit card?

  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Pussum wrote: »
    what job is it

    Her job is to answer phones and input bills into the system for our customers. My job is to keep track of all major accounts and pretty much suck their cocks when they have problems. I also get to fire the mechanics when they consistently go way over on how much time they take to do their job.

    We got crammed into an office together because the new building they are building in the back had to be put on hold because they stumbled into a natural reserve of water under ground and have to deal with that before they can continue. So now everyone with their own office has to double up until they get the situation under control.


    EDIT:

    Update.

    She is currently on the phone with her mother arguing with her about how Asteroid Cheetos (the ball shaped cheeto's) are better than Flamin' Hot and that "flamin' hot sold out and changed their recipe because it was to hot for most of the general public".

    cheetos ...........

    CHEETOS!
    this series of posts made my day

    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Goddamn wave. You're supposed to be careful with those things.

  • PussumPussum Registered User
    edited April 2008
    Wavechaser wrote: »
    Considering I just dropped my surfboard nose first into my 1080p 36" Flat Screen HDTV, I think i'll be putting my check towards a new one of those...

    Fuck.

    Dude how many times do I have to tell you. Stop pretending your surfing in you living room. YOU LIVE IN GOD DAMN NEBRASKA you are about as land locked as you can be.

    venomsigva5.png
  • WavechaserWavechaser Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Wavechaser wrote: »
    Considering I just dropped my surfboard nose first into my 1080p 36" Flat Screen HDTV, I think i'll be putting my check towards a new one of those...

    Fuck.
    Did you pay for your new TV with a credit card?

    Yeah, about a year and a half ago though, and I got it through COSTCO. They used to have awesome exchange policies but recently revamped them so that you can't pull that shit anymore with TV's and most electronics.

    The repair place said "Oh it looks like the screen spider-webbed? Yeah you need to go ahead and just throw it in the trash, it's un-repairable".

    The shittiest thing is that I barely dropped the board. It barely touched the screen, there isn't even a mark on the actual screen, but whatever is behind it shattered instantly.

    The destroyer of TV's: Cooper.jpg

    PierceNeck wrote: »
    People still do the anal thing?
  • WavechaserWavechaser Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Pussum wrote: »
    Wavechaser wrote: »
    Considering I just dropped my surfboard nose first into my 1080p 36" Flat Screen HDTV, I think i'll be putting my check towards a new one of those...

    Fuck.

    Dude how many times do I have to tell you. Stop pretending your surfing in you living room. YOU LIVE IN GOD DAMN NEBRASKA you are about as land locked as you can be.

    I uh... I live in Encinitas CA....

    PierceNeck wrote: »
    People still do the anal thing?
  • the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Wavechaser wrote: »
    Pussum wrote: »
    Wavechaser wrote: »
    Considering I just dropped my surfboard nose first into my 1080p 36" Flat Screen HDTV, I think i'll be putting my check towards a new one of those...

    Fuck.

    Dude how many times do I have to tell you. Stop pretending your surfing in you living room. YOU LIVE IN GOD DAMN NEBRASKA you are about as land locked as you can be.

    I uh... I live in Encinitas CA....

    Encinitas is for bums

    Carlsbad for life

  • WavechaserWavechaser Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    the wook wrote: »
    Wavechaser wrote: »
    Pussum wrote: »
    Wavechaser wrote: »
    Considering I just dropped my surfboard nose first into my 1080p 36" Flat Screen HDTV, I think i'll be putting my check towards a new one of those...

    Fuck.

    Dude how many times do I have to tell you. Stop pretending your surfing in you living room. YOU LIVE IN GOD DAMN NEBRASKA you are about as land locked as you can be.

    I uh... I live in Encinitas CA....

    Encinitas is for bums

    Carlsbad for life

    I surf carlsbad all the time actually. :^:

    Fun story, I surfed less than a mile from the guy who got eaten by a great white the day before it happened. (Dog Beach/Rivermouth if any of you are familiar with the spots down there)

    PierceNeck wrote: »
    People still do the anal thing?
  • the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    i heard about that. that was fucked up.

  • PussumPussum Registered User
    edited April 2008
    this series of posts made my day


    Brotha', I got stories man. I got stories all day long about this chick. Like the only thing I can compare this "woman" to is the chick in daysleepers I.M. conversations (if you have read any of those).

    venomsigva5.png
  • ttvpttvp Registered User
    edited April 2008
    I am incredibly interested in all this tax rebate stuff, and I believe I meet all the criteria, except for the whole "dependant" issue where I'm having trouble determining if it applies. Does anybody happen to know the exact definition of what criteria has to be met to be qualified as an independant?

    For the sake of explanation, I am 24 years old (25 in May), still live with my dad, but have a full time job paying 35k/year. Haven't been to school since 2006 when I graduated from college, and my dad says because his accountant fucked up he hasn't paid his most recent taxes but is working on getting that done. He said that he didn't claim me as a dependant this year, but I know that it doesn't matter if they claim you or not as long as you qualify as one. So that's the only thing I'm iffy on. If someone has the list of definitive rules regarding dependant/independant qualification I'd appreciate it.

  • WavechaserWavechaser Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    ttvp wrote: »
    I am incredibly interested in all this tax rebate stuff, and I believe I meet all the criteria, except for the whole "dependant" issue where I'm having trouble determining if it applies. Does anybody happen to know the exact definition of what criteria has to be met to be qualified as an independant?

    For the sake of explanation, I am 24 years old (25 in May), still live with my dad, but have a full time job paying 35k/year. Haven't been to school since 2006 when I graduated from college, and my dad says because his accountant fucked up he hasn't paid his most recent taxes but is working on getting that done. He said that he didn't claim me as a dependant this year, but I know that it doesn't matter if they claim you or not as long as you qualify as one. So that's the only thing I'm iffy on. If someone has the list of definitive rules regarding dependant/independant qualification I'd appreciate it.

    If you file a return for yourself, and your dad does NOT claim you as a dependent on his tax returns, then you will get a rebate.

    http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=179181,00.html

    PierceNeck wrote: »
    People still do the anal thing?
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User
    edited April 2008
    i got a letter a while ago saying i'm getting the $600

    if you didn't get the letter I don't think you're getting it

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