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So I picked up some Rednecks....

13

Posts

  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I don't give rides to complete strangers because even if someone looks harmless it doesn't mean they are

    I gave an old lady directions and asked if she could drive me just three blocks up the road once
    But that was okay because she had the right number of fingers

    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    BusterK wrote: »
    I don't give rides to complete strangers because even if someone looks harmless it doesn't mean they are

    I gave an old lady directions and asked if she could drive me just three blocks up the road once
    But that was okay because she had the right number of fingers

    If an old lady buttrapes you and steals your organs, you pretty much had it coming

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    edited June 2008
    Dislexic wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    Oh Sheri, this made me laugh so hard

    I totally read that as "getting buttraped on the left side of the road". Like the buttrapist is usually british. Or maybe buttrape on the right shoulder isn't as bad.

    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I don't pick up hitchhikers

    but then again I've never driven too far outside of my own city

  • TankHammerTankHammer Extreme Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Staxeon wrote: »
    Dislexic wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    Oh Sheri, this made me laugh so hard

    I totally read that as "getting buttraped on the left side of the road". Like the buttrapist is usually british. Or maybe buttrape on the right shoulder isn't as bad.

    It's all perspective though, what might be the left side for you could still easily be the right side for the person buttraping you.

    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | huWRIjA.png Dear Satan | 2zivq6q.jpg
    yUApdW3.jpg
  • StraightziStraightzi The rock, the vulture, and the chain All that the proud can feel of painRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Staxeon wrote: »
    Dislexic wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    Oh Sheri, this made me laugh so hard

    I totally read that as "getting buttraped on the left side of the road". Like the buttrapist is usually british. Or maybe buttrape on the right shoulder isn't as bad.

    It's all perspective though, what might be the left side for you could still easily be the right side for the person buttraping you.

    That is some goddamned flexible buttraping.

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    edited June 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Staxeon wrote: »
    Dislexic wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    Oh Sheri, this made me laugh so hard

    I totally read that as "getting buttraped on the left side of the road". Like the buttrapist is usually british. Or maybe buttrape on the right shoulder isn't as bad.

    It's all perspective though, what might be the left side for you could still easily be the right side for the person buttraping you.

    That is some goddamned flexible buttraping.

    Holy crap, the Reverse Superman Buttrape! That's a pretty advanced technique.

    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    the only redneck that reads this forum is anjin anyway.

    yo face looks like a tampon soaking up sand

  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
  • ronzoronzo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    buttseks

    cowboy buttseks

  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I remember reading a Stephen King story where a guy picks up a teenage girl hitchhiking
    And pulls out a knife and tells him stop next to her big ass boyfriend on the side of the road

    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    i picked up a hitch hiker once

    she is still chained up in the basement

  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I picked up a hitcher once. Apparently he had just gotten out of prison and was making it back to his family.

    Never gonna do that again.

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    edited June 2008
    BusterK wrote: »
    I remember reading a Stephen King story where a guy picks up a teenage girl hitchhiking
    And pulls out a knife and tells him stop next to her big ass boyfriend on the side of the road

    This is why I installed a tazer under the passenger seat of my car. Then I can buttrape the crazy hitchhiker with 40,000 volts if necessary.

    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • DislexicDislexic Registered User
    edited June 2008
    Staxeon wrote: »
    BusterK wrote: »
    I remember reading a Stephen King story where a guy picks up a teenage girl hitchhiking
    And pulls out a knife and tells him stop next to her big ass boyfriend on the side of the road

    This is why I installed a tazer under the passenger seat of my car. Then I can buttrape the crazy hitchhiker with 40,000 volts if necessary.

    What the heck is this I'm sitting on? it's poking me.

    Settle down.

    But it really hurts

    I SAID SETTLE DOWN

    batsig.jpg
  • DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    sounds like a solid plan until you end up picking up that crazy redneck hitch hiker who gets off on 40,000 volts of tazer to anus loving.

    what then, Staxeon, what then?

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    edited June 2008
    robothero wrote: »
    sounds like a solid plan until you end up picking up that crazy redneck hitch hiker who gets off on 40,000 volts of tazer to anus loving.

    what then, Staxeon, what then?

    Then I buy a new floor mat, obviously.

    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Pokemon Black FC: 0518-7386-3511
    Pokemon Black 2: 0519-5108-3139
  • DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    ahaha yes, the best of super bowl commercials

  • TankHammerTankHammer Extreme Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Bud Light tastes awful. Those people deserve what they get.
    Seriously, it has about as much flavor as sport water.

    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | huWRIjA.png Dear Satan | 2zivq6q.jpg
    yUApdW3.jpg
  • DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    what they got is two delightful road trip guests and two cases of bud light

  • BushiBushi Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    There's a hobo that used to hang outside of where I work that sangs for spare change throughout the day. One night during a thunderstorm, I closed up shop and saw that he was still there. It was around 10pm, far after his usual departure time. He stops me on my way to the car, and asks me for a ride to his tent. Apparently, there's some sort of hobo colony in the park downtown. Anyway, I said I'd give him a lift, providing that he sang for it. The man had some pipes, regardless of being a hobo. A few blocks away from, he tells says, "This is as far as you're gonna wanna go. We don't really take well to your kind around the park." He starts to get out, but I was a little thrown off by this, so I asked, "What kind is that?" He narrowed his eyes at me and sneered "Better'n me!" and ran off into the darkness. This is how I came to know Eddie the singing hobo. If he didn't smell like a dumpster and occasionally look like he wanted to eat me, I'm sure we would've became best of friends.

    He was hit by a car in our parking lot a week later.

  • TankHammerTankHammer Extreme Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I wonder if when he dies he'll haunt you for forcing him to sing like a common house slave.

    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | huWRIjA.png Dear Satan | 2zivq6q.jpg
    yUApdW3.jpg
  • TankHammerTankHammer Extreme Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Guys, you know what movie is really good and about homeless folks? Tokyo Godfathers

    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | huWRIjA.png Dear Satan | 2zivq6q.jpg
    yUApdW3.jpg
  • BushiBushi Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    All of our house slaves just cleaned and cooked. The singing was an unmentioned bonus.

    Also, he's not dead, he's just not a hobo anymore. Last I heard, he was a born again Christian working at a scrap yard.

  • TankHammerTankHammer Extreme Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Bushi wrote: »
    All of our house slaves just cleaned and cooked. The singing was an unmentioned bonus.

    Also, he's not dead, he's just not a hobo anymore. Last I heard, he was a born again Christian working at a scrap yard.

    He's building a singing, metal Jesus to exact his revenge on the bettern'yous like yourself.

    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | huWRIjA.png Dear Satan | 2zivq6q.jpg
    yUApdW3.jpg
  • BushiBushi Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Then on this say, I shall die a happy man. A happy, terrified, man.

  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Blaket wrote: »
    Are rednecks like redskins?

    Nestle_Redskins_9300625171163.jpg
    Redskins are delicious.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sheri wrote: »
    Hi, Anjin

    what is issssss

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    edited June 2008
    Bushi wrote: »
    All of our house slaves just cleaned and cooked. The singing was an unmentioned bonus.

    Also, he's not dead, he's just not a hobo anymore. Last I heard, he was a born again Christian working at a scrap yard.

    He's building a singing, metal Jesus to exact his revenge on the bettern'yous like yourself.

    Ex-Hobo Mecha Suit....ACTIVATE!!!!!!!

    It runs on urine and shattered dreams.

    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • FishMistFishMist Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    BusterK wrote: »
    I remember reading a Stephen King story where a guy picks up a teenage girl hitchhiking
    And pulls out a knife and tells him stop next to her big ass boyfriend on the side of the road

    Chattery Teeth - from Nightmares And Dreamscapes

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    One night my friends and I were driving around, a girl was walking along the side of the road. It was about 2 in the morning, and she was trying to wave people down. My friend stops and asks her whats up, she needed to get to her friends house for a party. He rolls up the window and we talk about it real fast, she gets into the back that was already a carload. She's sitting on my lap, I was high as fuck and kept giggling.

    Took her to where she needed to go and that was that. Nice girl.

    clowninthewoods.png
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    If someone looks respectable and has a good reason to be hitch hiking, I will gladly pick them up. I dislike driving alone, it gets boring. A hitchhiker would make good company for that short amount of time, and a little bit afterwards as I'm thinking about things they said as I drive off.

    clowninthewoods.png
  • RedZeroRedZero Registered User
    edited June 2008
    This is why I like driving a pickup. Hobo asks for change for "gas", I just tell them I'll take them where there going under 2 conditions: they ride in the bed, and it isn't way far away. Dissuades the fakers, and occasionally helps a dude out. Everyone wins.

  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    dude flagged me down with a little gas can once. Said his car ran out of gas up the road a bit and he was looking for someone to take him to the nearest gas station. He said he was from oregon going to visit family in the next town over. On our way to the gas station there was a car with it's lights on with Oregon plates. On the way back, I took him to that car.

    I've never meet a bad hitcher

    clowninthewoods.png
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    there's always people hitchiking through my town

    seems like every other day I see someone on the side of the road with a big backpack and a thumb out

    I never pick them up though

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    We picked up young hippy couple carrying a guitar case. We smoked some weed with them. They were going to Vancouver.



    I'm going to type this in pig-latin in case my work has some kind of nazi word alert thing on it:

    They sold us an ubsay-machine ungay for 300 dollars.

    Boy were we shocked.

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    hahahahaha

    Trent that is fucking awesome.

    Off hippies no less.

    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    Keith wrote:
    What would be your ultimate slam dunk??
    I would dunk it so hard my parents would love each other again
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    hahahahaha

    Trent that is fucking awesome.

    Off hippies no less.

    Yeah it was bizarre but we didn't ask questions.

    Squeezed off many a oundray with that Ussianray SKSkaysay

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

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