Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!
first time woes (the sex)
HalberdBlue
Registered User
Registered User
So, my whole life I didn't think my first time having sex would be that bad. It just ended... and it was a complete flub (though I was actually rather entertained). Here's what went down:
We made out for about a billion years, and I started fingering her, and she was VERY wet. I took that as a good sign. Eventually I moved to eating her out, and after about a minute she asks me if I want to go for the whole 9 yards. I was still completely clothed at this point, so she had yet to do anything to me, but I was kind of hard. I found a condom, first tried putting it on backwards (so I couldn't even start to get it on), and then got it on the right way. But by then I wasn't very hard.
I was never even able to get it inside of her. I wasn't hard enough, I think. I guess she was too tight for me to be able to squeeze past? After like 3 or 4 minutes of struggling she wasn't even wet at all anymore, so we gave up.
So I come to you, H&A, in my time of most dire need. What went wrong? Why wasn't I hard enough? How can I fix this? We won't see each other for about a week, so I have until then to prepare for battle.
We made out for about a billion years, and I started fingering her, and she was VERY wet. I took that as a good sign. Eventually I moved to eating her out, and after about a minute she asks me if I want to go for the whole 9 yards. I was still completely clothed at this point, so she had yet to do anything to me, but I was kind of hard. I found a condom, first tried putting it on backwards (so I couldn't even start to get it on), and then got it on the right way. But by then I wasn't very hard.
I was never even able to get it inside of her. I wasn't hard enough, I think. I guess she was too tight for me to be able to squeeze past? After like 3 or 4 minutes of struggling she wasn't even wet at all anymore, so we gave up.
So I come to you, H&A, in my time of most dire need. What went wrong? Why wasn't I hard enough? How can I fix this? We won't see each other for about a week, so I have until then to prepare for battle.
HalberdBlue on
Posts
Alright in all seriousness I think you got anxiety issues, being hard enough to penetrate a vagina is not something someone really has to worry about unless you have some serious medical issues. What I would recommend is trying to relax and focus off of the situation. I have to throw out this disclaimer otherwise Violent Chem will e-castrate me, but if you ARE LEGALLY OF AGE TO DRINK IN YOUR NATION throw down a shot or 2, nothing to get you drunk or buzzed but just to relax. If it is still an issue have her felate you till you get turgid enough.
Normally when masturbating can you get stiff? If so I recommend relax, if you are jacking off and you are doing so somewhat soft all of the time I suggest seeing your doctor.
If you both start stressing about things during the act it is a huge mood killer. After you put the condom on if your not hard or loose some hardness don't stress about it, more foreplay should get you both back in the mood and ready to go.
Also, if your having trouble staying hard, is there a lot on your mind? Worried about STD's or pregnancy? If stuff is stressing you out maybe you should talk about it.
And a little lube (silicone or water based...no oil obviously) can go a long way.
And someone earlier had this problem because they were using some sort of weird condoms that numb your penis.
Edit: I agree with rook, condoms are required but the "time out" while you get it and put it on is a huge mood killer. Put a condom or two in a handy location (under pillow?) and practice putting it on. Condoms are cheap.
Also, make sure you're damn hard before going for the condom. Again, have her help out here.
And, with regards to having trouble getting it in, assuming your problem wasn't simply being insufficiently erect, have lube on hand to smooth things over. Really, you should have lube around regardless. It makes everything better.
I'm actually not really sure that I never got it inside of her. The condom killed a lot of feeling. Maybe I should find thinner ones? I have no problem getting very hard when masturbating. I'll ask her to work on me a bit next time too.
So next time just relax a little, let things flow. You said she didn't really "do anything to you?" So fix that. Talk to her about things that turn you on so she'll be able to help keep things going. What happened here is nothing outside of the norm. Now that you've got some of the first time jitters out of the way, forget about them. Definitely try not to worry about it not working out this time, as that may cause problems the next time. Because hey, that's really the only to succeed here: try again.
This. Seriously.
Same thing happened to me, including the putting it backwards on thing. Learn to put the condom on, and like Rook said, don't just jump in right afterwards.
Arousing my girlfriend with foreplay always gets me in the mood, weather she does anything to get me in the mood or not.
Ditto, but different strokes, and all.
Huh huh, I said "strokes".
Most of the advice here is good, but be careful with alcohol. It's harder to get it up when you're inebriated. A single drink may lighten the mood, but more than that and you could be limp-dicking it up in NoBoner City.
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
Also, lube. Don't get something with glycerin in it if you can help it, as that can give her a yeast infection. I like Wet Naturals's glycerin-free lube. It's just a handy thing to have around, especially since condoms can dry things up very easily.
Dont jack with a condom, thats just ridiculous
Otherwise, just take it easy. I think everyone has an embarrassing story from their first time.
If you're trying to get used to the feeling of sex with a condom on, masturbating with a condom a few times is not ridiculous. Being expected to always jack with a condom is ridiculous, admittedly.
Plus you get used to putting it on without fumbling and trying to find which end is the right one.
Also, being in the mood and being fully erect are two different things. It's not like he's "broken" for needing a little attention to get it up fully. Truly, different strokes.
Basically what other people said. Putting on a condom, particularly struggling to do so is not sexy. If you have a few to spare, try practicing so you can get it one without too much trouble. Afterwards you may still need some assistance to get back into form. Especially with first time stress.
Alternatively, get a Pronto Condom. If those are even available in China.
As for actually having sex for the first time, yes, even though you can be pumped for it there's a lot that can screw with your head that you don't even realize it. Performance anxiety can do a lot of negative things for sex, even if you're not fully aware of it.
Probably the easiest way is to not think of it as set phases -- not "foreplay, now some oral play, now the sex." And don't think "just because I'm with this girl, it is bad for me to touch my own genitals." Something that's pretty common is to start putting the condom on, past the head of your penis, and then, if you're starting to get soft, stroke your own penis. Or have her help you out, avoiding the condom (so it doesn't slip off into her mouth -- awkward!). What might work really well is to then get close to penetrating her, and then, as you hold your penis in order to help guide you in, roll the condom the rest of the way down.
And yes, you should get some water-based lube for the first few times. Some women can stay wet for hours, others last about 5 minutes, and it's no fun to run into the scorching, burning sensation halfway into sex.
Also, you're in China? The condom could be an issue, since they're made a little smaller than American condoms. I know this from experience from a few encounters with a Chinese exchange student who brought her own condoms from home. I'm on the big side, and when I put that thing on I felt like I was being strangled. Would that be an issue for you? Do you have access to American-made condoms?
naknaknaknaknak
This. While pre-cum doesn't contain semen on it's own, there may still be some in your urethra if you haven't taken a piss since the last time you came. Last thing you want is a pregnant girl, right? Make sure you know which way is the right way before you put it on.
But, yeah. I think we've all experienced something similar to this. Putting a condom on is basically a race against time; I think penis' know that they're about to get smothered and go flacid, much like how some pets will go wild and flee when you bring out the kennel when its time to go to the vet :lol:. As a little bit of advice to keep yourself interested, try having her put the condom on for you. That might keep you hard enough to keep the ball rolling, so to speak.
Geez, I remember my first time...couldn't get hard enough since the condom was strangling the life out of my penis, and the girl might as well have been a brick wall anyway. I remember grumbling something like "How do people rape..." which made her laugh and relax enough for it to finally fit. While I don't condone mentioning rape of all things during sexy time, try getting her to relax with a joke. Sex is a scary thing afterall.
Don't worry though, after some practice you'll get better at it and it'll become more natural. If you have to, please her for a bit longer... stay down there for a bit, and if you can get her to climax or come close before you go for it. That way, you make sure she has a good time... which really takes the pressure off when you're first starting. I know the thing going through my mind was if she was actually enjoying it. But it sounds like you were doing quite well, I wouldn't worry at all amigo.
Join the Cookie Brigade Forum for PAX Prime 2011 now! We need your help! If you decide to join, sign up at the Cookie Brigade website!
A week later I "broke up with her" so she told me she was pregnant. (she wasn't, she was just a bitch)
Don't worry about your first time.
You can imagine how that went.
that is either the most horrible, or....no, just the most horrible, thing I've heard today.
I read "limp-dicking it up in NoBoner City" and lost it, hahaha. One of the strongest prerequisities to good sex is being comfortable. You have to be cool with being naked in front of the girl, be confident in what (or who) is going down, and most of all remember that this bedroom shit is supposed to be fun - not stressful. Don't put any pressure on it, just get in there and have a good time, eh?
This, exactly.
Seriously man, just relax. It sounds like you are going to have heaps of chances at getting this right
"If you don't know who Kendra is, I'm officially not speaking to you."
Also, next time get her to suck you off a bit or at least handjob play, and get her to do stuff to you WHILE you put the condom on. Try and keeps things sexy throughout, so it's not like, ''hang on baby, I gots to do my sex taxes'' *fiddle fiddle*.
Good luck, I understand this problem since I never use condoms (wife uses pill) and the few times I've had to use a condom it's been a fucking nuisance.
Thanks again for the advice.