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The muggening

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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    its like, you go to the mall to buy a lamp

    "HELL NAW, I AINT GOT NO LAMPS. HERE, BUY THIS UNDERWEAR"

    "But I dont want underwear."

    "GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY ANYWAYS"

    "No way!" (Run off to hide)

    /SHOOT YOU IN THE ASS

    i bet you'll buy that fucking underwear next time

    shooting customers in the ass also seems like a perfect underwear-selling tactic.


    you'll need new drawers after your butt bleeds.

    exactly

    i mean its a win-win situation

    If you're really ballsy, you'll charge them for the bullet too.

    Hunter on
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    CasperCasper __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    A gentleman attempted to mug my brother and me as we left the Minneapolis convention center last year. The mugger should have paid attention to what was being held at the convention, it was the annual gun show and I was just picking my brother up after he was done teaching a class on concealed fire arms. My brother just laughed at the poor guy and handed him a business card. We then walked off.

    Casper on
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Casper wrote: »
    A gentleman attempted to mug my brother and me as we left the Minneapolis convention center last year. The mugger should have paid attention to what was being held at the convention, it was the annual gun show and I was just picking my brother up after he was done teaching a class on concealed fire arms. My brother just laughed at the poor guy and handed him a business card. We then walked off.

    Dude needs to improve his customer profiling skills if he's mugging people outside a place filled with armed Midwesterners.

    Usagi on
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    ScrumtrulescentScrumtrulescent Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Casper wrote: »
    A gentleman attempted to mug my brother and me as we left the Minneapolis convention center last year. The mugger should have paid attention to what was being held at the convention, it was the annual gun show and I was just picking my brother up after he was done teaching a class on concealed fire arms. My brother just laughed at the poor guy and handed him a business card. We then walked off.

    That is so amazing

    Scrumtrulescent on
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    RefridgeronRefridgeron Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    The only major fight I've ever been in was some school rivalry related stuff, and long story short I got my face stomped on and broke my nose.

    Refridgeron on
    there's a predestinate providence in the fall of a sparrow
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    When I was ten my friend laughed at me for being unable to catch a ball so I kicked his ass

    Seems like a disproportionate response in hindsight

    Fandyien on
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    BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    When I was ten my friend laughed at me for being unable to catch a ball so I kicked his ass

    Seems like a disproportionate response in hindsight

    its the weed rage

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'M SO HIGH I JUST WANT TO HURT PEOPLE AND EAT THIS ENTIRE BAG OF DORITOS

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I'M SO HIGH I JUST WANT TO HURT DORITOS AND EAT THIS ENTIRE BAG OF PEOPLE

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    SOYLENT GREEN

    Fandyien on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    eatin' people er'ryday

    AWM NOM NOM NOM

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    This one time I smoke a big fat joint right and I was so wasted right I didn't know what was going on and I totally had the munchies like a motherfucker right so I was all DUDE YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD MAN and this guy was all like YEAH I KNOW WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BITE and so I totally ate that dude

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    i was almost mugged once in college, well, it never really got to the point of being close to mugged

    i was hangin out with my brothers from the fraternity with our visors and popped collars, all drunk off of natty ice and smoking cheap newports, walking back from some rad house party

    one of the local bums (being at school in the city you get used to seeing the same dudes everywhere) jumps out from an alley with a box cutter and says

    boy, give me all your money or ill cut you up

    this obviously raised an eyebrow, and a friend said "are you really trying to threaten 10 drunk college kids with a box cutter?" Realizing the error of his ways, the bum threw the box cutter into the crowd and ran off, only to be chased by a few of the more rowdy guys, and presumeably beaten.

    I later found out that the bum got his ass kicked by the local Bum Lord for not bringing in enough cash that day. ha ha!

    Unknown User on
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    ScrumtrulescentScrumtrulescent Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    robothero wrote: »
    i was almost mugged once in college, well, it never really got to the point of being close to mugged

    i was hangin out with my brothers from the fraternity with our visors and popped collars, all drunk off of natty ice and smoking cheap newports, walking back from some rad house party

    one of the local bums (being at school in the city you get used to seeing the same dudes everywhere) jumps out from an alley with a box cutter and says

    boy, give me all your money or ill cut you up

    this obviously raised an eyebrow, and a friend said "are you really trying to threaten 10 drunk college kids with a box cutter?" Realizing the error of his ways, the bum threw the box cutter into the crowd and ran off, only to be chased by a few of the more rowdy guys, and presumeably beaten.

    I later found out that the bum got his ass kicked by the local Bum Lord for not bringing in enough cash that day. ha ha!

    Bums have pimps what

    Scrumtrulescent on
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    RefridgeronRefridgeron Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    robothero wrote: »
    I later found out that the bum got his ass kicked by the local Bum Lord for not bringing in enough cash that day. ha ha!

    My god thats terrible! How will he pay his little Bum-Children? or his Bum-Kitty?!

    Monster.

    Refridgeron on
    there's a predestinate providence in the fall of a sparrow
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Bum Lord?

    Is that like an elite mob that takes a raid to down?

    Hunter on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    at least in philly, bums usually band together and pool their resources

    Unknown User on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    robothero wrote: »
    at least in philly, bums usually band together and pool their resources

    Bumtopia

    Hunter on
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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    robothero wrote: »
    at least in philly, bums usually band together and pool their resources

    So they can all share in the nothin' that they have?

    sarukun on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    i dono, the bum lord had lots of clean clothes and shit

    the guy was the fakest bum ever, and just beat the crap out of all the other bums to take their money

    Unknown User on
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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    What a prick.

    sarukun on
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    RefridgeronRefridgeron Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    just IMAGINE the size of the box that guy lives in

    Refridgeron on
    there's a predestinate providence in the fall of a sparrow
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    they actually had an apartment, it was hilarious


    i mean, it was all boarded up and there was nothing in it but rats and probably dead bums, but still

    Unknown User on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Whenever anyone says that my response now is flick a cigarette butt at them and pedal faster

    [edit] I am also a bike elitist since my dad is a huge bike nerd. What company does your dad work for? I love bikes so much.

    He's an independent sales rep, he sells shit from like ten different companies to bike shops. Currently his biggest company is Louis Garneau, which is all clothing and such I believe. I don't really know which bike companies he's working for right now, but I know in the past he has worked for Haro and Fuji and probably others that I'm forgetting about.

    That's awesome. People who ride bikes are awesome.

    Pretty much yeah. I really wish I was in the sort of environment where I could take advantage of that sort of thing sometimes, but on the other hand fuck cities.

    Straightzi on
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    stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Good on those bums for like, having somewhere indoors to sleep. Was it like, boarded up and they were squatting or was it actually rented with their bum money?

    stimtokolos on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    These are no ordinary bums. They have extra hit points, special powers, high agility, and can shank a man with skill. These are Bum Lords!

    Hunter on
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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    All this bum talk is making me want to play Episode one of Otter Pod again.

    sarukun on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    Hunter wrote: »
    These are no ordinary bums. They have extra hit points, special powers, high agility, and can shank a man with skill. These are Bum Lords!

    they have a saving throw of 2d8+2

    Unknown User on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    ok, so here is my ethnic fight story

    in college, a bunch of went to a bar called Midnight Rodeo, it was a country bar. it played pretty much just country music and had a bull and everything. not really my scene, but i went to high school with these two girls who's dad owned the place, so we got in for free and got cheap drinks.

    so for some reason at this country bar they start having guest DJs come in and start playing hip hop stuff, which begins to , over a couple weeks, bring in a more african-american crowd. now i am not rascist in the least, but you've got a country bar with a bunch of rednecks sporting rebel flags and a bunch of gangsta thugs sporting FUBU, and you can see where this is headed.

    one night words were said back and forth. my friends and i see shit is about to go down and slide over out of the way to a corner. well, it all goes to shit and turns into a damn feeding frenzy. everybody is going for everybody that isnt the same skin tone. my friends want no part of this, so we start to make our way outside.

    We get split up and at some point i get punched in the back of the head. i dont even look at who i swing at i just throw a punch and keep moving. this happens a couple of times, getting hit once or twice, hit back, keep moving. eventually i get out to the parking lot and see 3 or so other guys have made it out. we stand off to the side and just watch the mayhem. i was pretty lucky that i got out pretty much unhurt, my other buddy (who actually is a pretty big redneck) got surrounded and got the shit beat out of him before the cops showed up

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    They need to make a bum MMO. You have to level up food scrounging, train panhandling, and fight off mongrel dogs, rats, and other bums.

    Hunter on
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    stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Don't forget to train Turn: Bum-Ghouls.
    They'll eat anything if you're not watching them.

    Anything. :winky:

    stimtokolos on
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    KajustaKajusta Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Hunter wrote: »
    They need to make a bum MMO. You have to level up food scrounging, train panhandling, and fight off mongrel dogs, rats, and other bums.

    http://www.hobowars.com/

    Not really MMO, but bums aplenty.

    Kajusta on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    XBL
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You killed the Bumling

    You get $1.57, a half empty bottle of cheap whiskey, and what looks like a ham sandwich someone threw away after taking one bite.

    Hunter on
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    MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Hunter wrote: »
    You killed the Bumling

    You get $1.57, a half empty bottle of cheap whiskey, and what looks like a ham sandwich someone threw away after taking one bite.

    also a bigger ego

    Meissnerd on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Kajusta wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    They need to make a bum MMO. You have to level up food scrounging, train panhandling, and fight off mongrel dogs, rats, and other bums.

    http://www.hobowars.com/

    Not really MMO, but bums aplenty.

    I'm talking full MMO. Like bum raids on a local grocery store and world PvP over a bottle of cheap wine.

    Hunter on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited June 2008
    Bumlings are usually found holding the door for you at the local 7-11.

    Unknown User on
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    CJTheranCJTheran Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Goddamn, it is realy cold in here right now.

    I would kill for someone to turn off the air conditioning.

    CJTheran on
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    ScrumtrulescentScrumtrulescent Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Your quest is to become the richest bum

    maybe you get some scraps from an olive garden

    suck a few dicks

    and get hobo-rich

    Scrumtrulescent on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    CJTheran wrote: »
    Goddamn, it is realy cold in here right now.

    I would kill for someone to turn off the air conditioning.

    Maybe if you had body heat like a real man instead of some wee little girl you wouldn't be so cold.

    Hunter on
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    KajustaKajusta Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    1. You try to do a hardcore army roll but you end up in the gutter, idiot. (25 life)
    2. He bounces off a car and trips you over, then does the 'peoples elbow' to you taking 1 life (19 life)
    3. The Trolly Boy punches you in the face and takes 1 life (18 life)
    4. He pulls out a rope and whips you with it, after the initial enjoyment you lose 1 life (17 life)
    5. He hits you with a rock taking 1 life (16 life)
    6. You run at the Trolly Boy but your leg gives way and you fall to the ground missing. (25 life)
    7. The Trolly Boy pushes a trolly into you taking 1 life (15 life)
    8. He pulls out a rope and whips you with it, after the initial enjoyment you lose 1 life (14 life)
    9. You take a girly swing and miss, you look like a fool. (25 life)
    10. He hits you with a rock taking 1 life (13 life)
    11. You run at the Trolly Boy but your leg gives way and you fall to the ground missing. (25 life)
    12. You try to do a hardcore army roll but you end up in the gutter, idiot. (25 life)
    13. He pulls out a rope and whips you with it, after the initial enjoyment you lose 1 life (12 life)
    14. He pulls out a rope and whips you with it, after the initial enjoyment you lose 1 life (11 life)
    15. You take a girly swing and miss, you look like a fool. (25 life)
    16. You take a girly swing and miss, you look like a fool. (25 life)
    17. You try to do a hardcore army roll but you end up in the gutter, idiot. (25 life)
    18. The Trolly Boy punches you in the face and takes 1 life (10 life)
    19. He hits you with a rock taking 1 life (9 life)
    20. The Trolly Boy starts abusing you with a rubber chicken taking 1 life (8 life)
    21. The Trolly Boy starts abusing you with a rubber chicken taking 1 life (7 life)
    22. The Trolly Boy pushes a trolly into you taking 1 life (6 life)
    23. He hits you with a rock taking 1 life (5 life)
    24. The Trolly Boy punches you in the face and takes 1 life (4 life)
    25. You try to do a hardcore army roll but you end up in the gutter, idiot. (25 life)
    26. You pull off your sock and slap the Trolly Boy with it for 1 life (24 life)
    27. He hits you with a rock taking 1 life (3 life)
    28. He hits you with a rock taking 1 life (2 life)
    29. He bounces off a car and trips you over, then does the 'peoples elbow' to you taking 1 life (1 life)
    30. You try to do a hardcore army roll but you end up in the gutter, idiot. (24 life)
    31. He bounces off a car and trips you over, then does the 'peoples elbow' to you taking 1 life (0 life)

    You Lose!

    Damn.

    Kajusta on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    XBL
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